Ahhhhhh!!!! What’s Gonna Happen? I’m Dying!

Only the parents who don't want their kids to trust them and come to them when they have problems.

Parents should not be reading your journals

Parents should not be searching through your trash 

Parents should not be snooping on your private social media messages 

Parents should not be taking your bedroom door off 

Parents should not be invading your privacy 

The Great Reading...

It was Rocket Strange who greeted Rocket the Grey at the Doors.

"You're late!" the orange-robed, cyan-cloaked son of the Sorcerer Supreme snarked.

Clad in his grey hat and robes, Rocket the Grey took a puff from his pipe then cheekily replied, "A Wizard is never late, Mr. Strange. He arrives precisely when he means to!"

For a moment, the two looked at each other--and then, a little teary-eyed, they embraced! "Err... am I late? They haven't started the Reading, yet, have they?" the Grey Raccoon asked, worriedly.

"Oh, nah," Rocket Strange answered, nuzzling the apprentice of Mithrandir, "but you're the last to come here. So many made it tonight, come on!"

With that, the two opened the Doors and stepped into a titanic Colosseum that was full of... Rockets! Thousands upon thousands of Rockets from all walks of life, albeit they were mostly kind and good; those who were too cruel or were slavering beasts from the darkest of worlds weren't allowed here.

Thousands of Rockets, many accompanied by a Lylla or their Humies, but also many without. Jedi Rockets; Wizard Rockets; a Maori Chief Rocket and his Uplifted Racccoon Tribe; Purely organic or machine Rockets and all in between; a Rocket and Lylla who were ghosts united, a Rocket and Lylla whom were living stars; Time Lord Rocket and Time Lady Lylla; Rocket Knight and with him Kitt, the TransAm in a Berth at his side; Honourable Pirate Lord Rocket, and with him Pirate Queen Lylla; Egyptian Pharoah Amun-Ro-Khet I, his Queen Lylla, and his Terran Attendants; Rocket Raccoon but with him a Peter Quill who was also a raccoon; Native American Shaman Rocket the Medicine Raccoon with his Uplifted Raccoon Village... and on, and on, and on...

High above, upon a throne of metal - clad in orange armour and helm to contain the mighty Power Cosmic - Great Procyon ROCKETUS the Life-Bringer, the Creator of Worlds, banged his Staff upon the stone floor. "CALLING FOR SILENCE!' he boomed. "SILENCE, PLEASE!" When the noise of the great Colosseum hushed, Great Procyon Rocketus continued, softer, "Tonight's Reading is about to Commence, and it concerns one Terran Human we all know by the pseudonym... Raccoon Falls Harder..."

Almost immediately, utterly joyous cheering was heard as the Rocket Collective clapped, stomped their feet, whooped and howled and raccoon-called with sheer joy! The Great Raccoon smiled, let it all continue for a moment--but then, he cracked his Staff upon the ground again, "Silence, silence please!" he commanded, and all complied. "This beloved Terran has written a new work." Reaching for a beautiful, illuminated manuscript scroll, the Great Procyon unrolled it. "It is titled simply, 'Machinery'. Let the Reading now Commence!"

The Colosseum quieted, and - drawing gently upon the Power Cosmic - Great Procyon Rocketus used it to create the eerie, disquieting sound of a mechanical heart, Ka-chunk-hnk. Ka-chunk-hnk. With this as ambience, he started to read aloud from the scroll, his audience listening, enraptured,

"'Rocket scrubs his knuckles against the fur and flesh that have grown over his metal sternum. His ribs strain like creaky bellows, lungs splitting and bruising against the bones...'"

Amen and preach on.

I say this every time I argue for raising the minimum wage. I never hear anyone else say it and I’m glad I found this.

If you build your business and your bonus on the backs of others who you don’t pay a living wage you don’t deserve to be in business.

Oh, my heart. 💔Let’s all go and save all the baby Rocket’s in the multiverse. That’s my new mission. I am deeply regretting not having Petra give Rocket a plushie. 🧸I only didn’t because she didn’t have any to give. 😭 They became each other’s plushie.

Holy shit, I am rolling on the floor hearing that lil’ gremlin shout, “Faster! Faster! Come on you can go faster than that! Stop bein’ a wimp and go!”from his little basket seat. 🚲 🧺

That last line is an emotional kick in the teeth.🦵🦷 So perfect and lovely. I am so soft for baby Rocket. He deserves the world.🌎

rocket fanart masterlist | headcanons & imagines masterlist art masterlist | main masterlist

boring meeting scribble time!

maybe in some other universe when baby-rocket escapes from halfworld, the universe gives him a just a little bit of overdue luck and he stumbles into you. you’re still a kid and you don’t really know what you’re doing, so he probably bites you at least once. but it won’t be too long till you’re feeding him eggs and fish and fresh summertime cantaloupe. in winter, you drink cocoa by the heat vents and he naps for days in the blanket forts you made together. the spring and autumn bring syrupy-golden afternoons where you strap a helmet on him and sit him in your bike-basket while you ride around town; he’s always goading you to go faster. on hot days the two of you set up a kiddie-sized pool (you’d ride him in your bike to the beach but he’s so metal-heavy you’re afraid he’d be in trouble if the water got over his head). you’ve given him every necessity and comfort you can think of, even though you’re just a kid yourself, but his favorite thing is the otter stuffie you gifted him with shortly after he arrived, when he was still felt uncomfortable and unsafe. he won’t say why but he carries it with him everywhere — even into the pool.

the only thing he loves more than that soft, ragged plushie is you.

rocket fanart masterlist | headcanons & imagines masterlist art masterlist | main masterlist banners by @/thecutestgrotto and @/saradika-graphics

More goodness from my favorite author.

꧁･:☁︎⋆. cicatrix .⋆☁︎:･꧂

chapter six. lockheartedness. [new 4/11] ✩

18+ only | rocket x f!oc | 6/25+ | wip | word count: pending. masterlist, notes, & moodboard | chapter six. lockheartedness.

pearl and the monster get to know one another. a little bit. see below for warnings & notes.

I just wanted to learn how to fly.  The words lurch in his memory; in his heart and his stomach. If she were gonna be around longer — if he had more time with her— He’s never tried to teach anyone anything and he can’t imagine he’s good at it. Or maybe that’s not quite true; he’d tried to teach A95 and L06 some stuff when they’d been in the cages together, back when he’d been as hopeful and stupid as pearl herself. They hadn’t had an easy time grasping what he was trying to help them learn, though, and since — since them — he’s never really tried. Not beyond explaining to Tullk and the Ravager captain about some of the repairs and modifications he’d made to the Eclector. But Tullk and the Captain had gotten it, hadn’t they? Maybe he could teach her to fly, after all, if they had a little more time— Because if there’s one thing he can understand, it’s wanting to get off the ground and into the beautiful and forever. Wanting to feel untethered from gravity, unstitched from the soil. Loose and free of pain, able to go anywhere a person had the money and heart to go. The first time he’d felt the yoke cradled in his palms, he’d known what it was to finally have his life in his own hands— No, he reminds himself firmly. For her own sake and safety — and for his sanity — she has to go. As soon as possible. 

read more on ao3 | masterlist, notes, & moodboard

sometimes you just have to have a chapter to get you from point A to point B. it's so hard to make these chapters GOOD so i'm sorry if it sucks and i hope you enjoyed it at least a lil. more angst to come in chapter seven, some comfort to balance the hurt in chapter eight, and a few anime-style "beach" episodes before we get moving into more plot-heavy chapters. thanks for being part of this with me. the support has been deeply, deeply appreciated. ♡

WARNINGS for chapter six: leftover regret. descriptions of child abuse/grooming (specifically gaslighting, blaming, and pet/animal death).

inspired by mary shelley’s frankenstein; or, the modern prometheus. a freakish little monster visits the high evolutionary’s bride on her wedding night. an adventure of intergalactic proportions ensues. aka raccoons make plans; the universe laughs.

some explicit statements or references ✩ abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

taglist ♡ @evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @glow-autumz ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @suicidalshitstick ♡ @pretty-chips

Furious excitement exploding in my brain.

june aspirations

saturday, june 1: cicatrix .⋆☁︎ :･꧂chapter twelve. ochisia. ❤︎

tuesday, june 4: the raccoon, the witch, & the roadtrip. [headcanon part four + masterlist] ✮

friday, june 7: cicatrix .⋆☁︎ :･꧂chapter thirteen. heartspur. ✩

tuesday, june 11: the raccoon, the witch, & the roadtrip. [headcanon part five] ✮

friday, june 14: ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ fistful of sunlight [oneshot for @starriidreams ] ✮✩ tumblr machinery from rocket prompt week ✷.⁺⋆˚₊ ✮✩ ao3 crosspost

tuesday, june 18: the raccoon, the witch, & the roadtrip. [headcanon part six] ✮

friday, june 21: cicatrix .⋆☁︎ :･꧂chapter fourteen. ghough. ❤︎

tuesday, june 25: the raccoon, the witch, & the roadtrip. [headcanon part seven] ✮

friday, june 28: cicatrix .⋆☁︎ :･꧂chapter fifteen. soufrise. ✩

fluff ✮ | spice ✩ | some smut ❤︎ | much smut ❤︎❤︎

other things i'm working on for july and beyond...

warm compress ☾.༊·˚⋆⭒[oneshot] ✮

cicatrix .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ chapter sixteen. craxis. ❤︎❤︎ chapter seventeen. keyframe. ✩ chapter eighteen. attriage. ❤︎‬❤︎‬

florescence❀, chapter five year four: formation. ❤︎❤︎

⭑˚.⚘𖡼𖥧𖤣 windfall, part three: candied apples. ❤︎❤︎

･:*𑁍✧˚₊ overheard on the bowie. oneshot. ❤︎❤︎ ︎

✩࿐࿔ take what you need. [taking requests] ✮

other future projects

[Peter boards the Ravager ship and notices Yondu glaring at him]

Peter: What did I do?

Yondu: You don’t even say “hi” to your captain?

Peter: Hi. What did I do?

Would you like, raccoon pics (rhetorical question i will now bombard you with them)

:)

howdy! thank you for your submission :3

such beautiful works of art… raccoons are truly THE creatures of all time

Amazing and beautiful story.

Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

masterlist

18+ only MDNI | rocket x f!oc | 27/27 chapters | COMPLETE | word count: 235,940.

girl falls first; raccoon falls harder.

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies).

let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon

if you’d like to join my fanfiction taglist, please comment or send me a message or ask! ♡

so many amazing sweet wonderful readers have drawn fanart of this fic??? ♡♡♡♡♡ jolie is written without much physical description so you can imagine whatever you want but if you'd like to see how i and others imagine her, i've linked them below. thank you for being the absolute sweetest.

jolie's painting of rocket by @hibataao3 makes me cry every time i look at it

very first portrait of jolie by @raccoonmybeloved ~ so fucking cute i died

sims of jo by @evolvingchaoswitch ~ particularly love her paint-spattered outfit

an absolutely drool-worthy nsfw of rocket & jolie by @lazarel-3000 that permanently has altered my brain chemistry and lives in my mind forever ♡♡♡

adorable jolie sketches by @moonnpiie that truly capture what i mean when i describe jo as having “everywhere-hair.” plus her lil art-glove! (and a really cute rocket)

the cutest jo by @frostedwitch in her chapter xxvii sweatshirt. she is so cute with such shiny eyes and cute freckles and i love her so so so much! ♡♡♡

this shiny-haired jo by @miinsie! i love her hair so much in this one - it almost looks iridescent. i swoon. thank you for taking the time to read and to share this lovely interpretation of jolie with me!

and here are my jolie character concepts (complete full-color illo & rough doodles) and an illustration of one of my fave scenes from window ♡

✧･ﾟ:*collects Chapters I-XXVII (below the cut) & a holiday special && a silly epilogue

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units. in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be .in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. * in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI. I Very Still. ❤︎❤︎ in which our heroes get fucked. In the good way, this time. Finally.

Chapter XXII. Got There Worse. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket does not say "I love you."

Chapter XXIII. We're Gonna Need a Bigger Table. ❤︎ in which the galaxy just keeps spinning.

Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket ~ discreetly ~ claims the title of boyfriend.

Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. in which both of our heroes learn a little about themselves. ❤︎

Chapter XXVI. Other Side of the Window. in which old friends are reunited. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. The Most Beautiful Thing in My House. in which our heroes finally get what they deserve.❤︎

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ a holiday special *

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short, silly fluff.

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

if you liked Giftwrap...

⋆˚.⚘𖡼𖥧𖤣 windfall 𖤣𖥧𖡼⚘.˚⋆ preview [est 2/14] (a meetgroot*)

this has been a labor of love since like. august or september. featuring semi-shy ultrafeminine angel-reader from giftwrap (kinktober 2023).

18+ only | rocket x f!reader | no use of y/n | 3? parts | wip | word count: pending.

wind·fall /ˈwin(d)ˌfôl/ noun. an apple or other fruit blown down from a tree or bush by the wind; an unexpected piece of good fortune.

semi-shy ultrafeminine touch-deprived reader tries to avoid meeting knowhere’s intimidating captain. is profoundly unsuccessful. see end for more notes.

part one anticipated 2/14

“Do you and Groot live here? In this building?” He nods, and takes another drink. “I’m on the ground floor,” he says, then winces. “Uh, Groot spends most of his time up here when he’s home. S’why it’s weird he ain’t made it back yet, actually.” He leans against the wall. “Where’s your room, angel?” Something about the timbre of his voice makes you shiver.  “The floor just below this one,” you tell him. “I saw the door to the roof open this morning, and - ” You shrug helplessly.  “You snooped,” he says, but he sounds amused, in a snickering, snarky sort of way.  “I was curious,” you admit with a little smile, and it’s more of an embarrassed agreement than a defense. He just looks even more pleased, teeth flashing at the corner of his mouth. “Bet you were.” He leans back, and you can feel his eyes on you, plucking delicately at your hair, the strap of your dusty sundress, your skin. “Think I got you pinned now, sweetheart.” You laugh softly, a little delighted despite your self-consciousness. “Pinned?” He takes another long swallow of his wine and wipes his mouth with his forearm, eyes half-lidded. “Yup. Figured you out.” “What did you figure out about me?” you ask, wide-eyed and fascinated. He’s watching you like your cat used to watch birds on the other side of the window — right down to the flick in the end of his tail, draped over the edge of the wall. “You’re curious enough to get yourself into trouble,” he tells you with mock solemnity, “and prob’ly too soft and sweet for your own good once you’re in it.” His voice rolls lower: velvet and smoke and gravel.  “And you’re so, so needy, angel.” A sly little smirk taunts the corner of his mouth.  “But too shy to do anything about it.” Your fascination has fled in favor of pure heat, pooling in your abdomen like molten sunlight, licking up between your thighs, curling over your chest and throat. You feel your panties dampen and you truly cannot remember the last time that happened.  “Have I got you about right?”

(sidenote: look the sundress is basically its whole own character in this.) please note the model is in the sketch below is like. just there for the dress. i don't think there are any descriptions of size, skin color, or hair texture in this fic.

mcu-based, post-volume-three, explicit sexual tension rising through parts one & two, smut in part three (a very ♡‧₊˚✩ Blackmail Material format with slightly more plot/slightly less smut??). possible secondhand embarrassment. happy endings only don’t worry.

based on a prompt by @creativepromptsforwriting: The apartment she moved to has a beautiful, well-tended garden. After a while she finds out that her neighbor is the one tending to the plants and she decides to help him out one day.