Napoleonic War Survival Tips For The French Army

Napoleonic War Survival Tips for the French Army

1. Don’t refer to Marshal Murat’s uniform as “peacock wear” within earshot of him.

2. When Napoleon pulls out a map, don’t ask, “Are we lost?”

3. If your cannonball doesn’t quite reach the enemy lines, just blame the wind. Or Berthier.

4. Don’t accidentally toast “To King Louis” at an officers’ dinner. Ever.

5. Avoid playing cards with Marshal Lannes – unless you enjoy losing your entire month’s pay.

6. Foraging in enemy territory: Always ask what’s in the stew before you eat it.

7. If you’re sent to negotiate peace, don’t open with, “Our emperor said this would be easy.”

8. During winter campaigns, remember: snowballs do not replace musket balls.

9. Don’t try to outdo Napoleon in recalling historical battles. You’ll lose.

10. If Napoleon is inspecting the troops, resist the urge to ask, “Is it true you’re shorter than Murat?”

11. Never, under any circumstances, suggest that Wellington’s redcoats “don’t look so tough.”

12. If Marshal Ney orders a charge, just assume it’s going to last until nightfall.

13. Do not ask Marshal Davout if his nickname Iron Marshal comes from his cooking.

14. If your bayonet charge fails, remember: retreat is just “advancing in the opposite direction.”

15. If someone says “This mission is simple,” expect nothing but complications.

16. In case of defeat, remember: it’s always the Austrians’ fault. Even if they aren’t there.

17. During peace negotiations, “bombing their latrines” is not considered a formal strategy.

18. If you happen to capture a British officer, refrain from gloating by saying, “See you in Paris!”

19. When bivouacked near rivers, don’t bet on crossing without some form of disaster.

20. Finally, do not point the cannons at the Emperor’s tent, even as a joke. Especially not as a joke.

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lgbtq sk8 the infinity supernatural sk8 sk8 season 2 i can't believe no one did this

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hkatsikatouermh

2 years ago

i love how when everyone saw this scene they were just like "they're gay"

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hkatsikatouermh

8 months ago

I THINK THEY ROLLED UP THE WRONG MYSTERY TOUR GUYS

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argentina v france | 18.12.22

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hkatsikatouermh

2 months ago

Edit to link to the original below!

https://www.tumblr.com/dreamingdeadly/711856974370865154?source=share

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1 month ago

‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ 🕯️ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎

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hkatsikatouermh

1 month ago

listen I know it's heartbreaking that Claudia dies and it's understandable to wish she didn't, but let's please not accuse the writers of fridging her. to do so is a fundamental misunderstanding of the story and is frankly insulting to the intelligence and skill of the writers of the show.

Claudia's death, and the overwhelming grief and regret her parents experience because of it, is quite literally the point of the entire story. she dies because Anne's daughter Michele died of leukemia when she was five years old and there was nothing she or her husband could do to prevent it.

writing IWTV was how Anne coped with the unimaginable loss of a parent losing her child. she created a story about a little girl that could not die and then killed her anyway. Claudia's death is a senseless, unavoidable tragedy, just like Michele's was. the grief that haunts Louis and Lestat for the rest of their lives is the same grief that haunted Anne and her husband.

so when you're accusing people of killing Claudia off to benefit a story about two men, please remember that in real life sometimes parents lose their children. please remember Michele Rice.

Listen I Know It's Heartbreaking That Claudia Dies And It's Understandable To Wish She Didn't, But Let's

she's the reason Claudia exists.

she's also the reason Claudia cannot be saved.

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hkatsikatouermh

2 years ago

If you think you are a real bitch, you will never be a realer bitch than Daniel, who calls a hundreds years old powerful vampire a pussy who needs therapy and then calling himself a whore in the same breath.

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hkatsikatouermh

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