Reblogging So I Can Remember This Post

“You don’t pass or fail at being a person, dear.”

— Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane

“forgive all the versions of yourself that operated out of fear instead of growth, the ones that viewed comfort zones as safe havens and abandoned boundaries to keep other people happy, forgive all the versions of yourself that didn’t know that love begins with how you treat you.”

— iambrillyant

“The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want. And the only way to know what you really want, is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself, is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart.”

— Mike Dooley

i think a lot about the loneliness of being aromantic. because it's something that's so profound, right? you're told your whole life that you need something to make you happy, to make you complete, to give you connection with other people, and when you realize you're aro, that's torn away from you. everything you've been raised to want is no longer something that will fulfill you. you are not built to be happy. and it gets better with time, it does! you restructure your world view, bit by bit, and the sting fades, but... i don't think it ever truly goes away. it's hard to express, because i love being aro, and i'm happy being aro, i wouldn't want to be any other way, but at the same time. there is such a profound heartbreak to knowing that you will never be someone's most important person in a society that values romance. that you'll never get the happy ever after that you were promised as a child. and you know you can be happy. but there's a lifetime of amatonormativity that lives in your brain and tells you that you can't.

You found yourself. Let that be the most important relationship from now on.

Executive dysfunction be like:

Me: Go to lunch with you on Tuesday? Oh, I can’t I’m busy on Tuesday. On Tuesday I have to send The Email.

Tuesday Morning:

Me: Okay! Gotta send The Email today.

Me: But first, breakfast and a little YouTube to get the day going.

Tuesday Noon:

Me: okay! Day has begun! But it’s lunchtime so I’d better get some lunch.

Tuesday 5 o’clock:

Me: it is now Too Late to send The Email

Logical brain: if you send it now anyway, they’ll see it in the morning.

Me: good point. I should write The Email

Me: *doesn’t write The Email*

Tuesday 11pm:

Me: Tuesday’s almost over! Gotta send That Email!

Me: *opens email, enters address and subject line*

Me: Whew! I started The Email, what an accomplishment! Bed time.

Me: *stressing about sending The Email for the rest of the night, gets no sleep* I’ll send it as soon as I wake up.

Wednesday 11pm:

Me: I have to send The Email.

Me: *opens email*

Me: *Closes email*

Me: *opens email*

Me: *Types “Dear so and so”*

Me: bed time!

Me: *wakes up in a cold sweat at 3 am* I can’t believe I haven’t sent that email!

Me: *Opens laptop, sends email*

Me:

Me: >:( Why was that so hard????

You were meant to stand out and shine.