The Surface

I have no words. This is art and I’m here to look and admire it. I’m speechless, it’s beautiful.

Artist Luo Li Rong

Perhaps puddles are glimpses into another world, and whenever people jump into a puddle, natural disasters happen in that world. Perhaps this is why disasters happen.

Do not go gentle into that good night; Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. ~ #DylanThomas #DownIsUp #UpIsDown #HilliardOhio #WhileWalking #Home

Saving this for myself, for my self.

today my anthro professor said something kindof really beautiful:

“you all have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in you, that’s why you’re here, in college. I want you to know that it’s okay if you only save one person, and it’s okay if that person is you”

I’m the mother to a wonderful 7 week old, and at times I get sad because I don’t know what he wants when he’s crying and I’ve done everything possible for him, and I come to the conclusion that maybe it’s just me.

I’m very calm with him, I love him, I smile sweetly at him, I say to him that I understand that there’s a divide between us and I wish I could help him more as I kiss his chubby cheeks. And when he calms down, if he calms down, I hug him close until he falls asleep, and I but him down in his bassinet. I stare at him in such awe that I’m in love with this little creature, that when I sit down and focus on my breath, I realize that I’m dying a little on the inside.

My child breaks me everyday, but when he looks at me and focuses on me, I pick myself up again and start all over.

I realize I’m very hard on myself, but with my history, I gravitate towards it because it’s my punishment. I’ll admit that I love my child more than myself, that I care about him more than myself, but I’ll keep going because he needs me, and I need him.

I need him.

Baby got Vocab...

Baby got vocab.

I like big words and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny, that when a girl walks in with a big ass list and a dictionary in your face, you got sprung.

Pull up a seat, Cuz you know that that girls brain is full. Deep in her head she's thinking bombastic forms of circumlocution.

Oh baby, I wanna study with you and read your notes. My homeboys tried to warn me, but that brain you got, makes me go stuttering.

Ooh, your big brain makes me feel no shame teach me because your not the normal dame.

Baby got vocab.

This makes me want to fall in love all over again with my husband, just so I can truly take in our love, and not let it pass by. I want to start savoring my love for him.

Your wife changes her hair color every season and her personality adjusts slightly. You’re secretly only in love with Autumn wife. She just came home sporting her Winter color.

Dear Genevieve

I want you to know that you’re on my mind.  You are loved, cared about, worried about, and cried over.  I want you.  I need you.  I desire you.

You are not even a being that I can hold in my arms, and I ache for you.  I ache for you because I want to be your mother.  The ache in my heart for you may not be enough to make you real, and that breaks my heart.

You need to know that I’m fighting for you, my love.  I’m fighting so hard that I feel this tightness of urgency.  I want you to be real, but I realize that I can’t force you into being of this world.  Your father is scared, and I don’t know how to comfort him.  I don’t know how to protect him from his valid fears.

Know that you are wanted, but fears can push you back and make you evaluate what you want for your future.  I want you so damn much that I’m forgetting your father has feelings, and I need to respect them.  I want him to want you like I want you.

I’m praying to God that if you are to be real, then to please put the desire of you in his heart.  Or if you are not to be, then take the desire from mine.

You will always be wanted, you will always be loved, you will always be on my mind.

Mom

I Have (Another) Thing About Bathtubs

AO3 Link

Summary: In the alternate ending season 2, happy and on the run, Villanelle decides she wants a do-over of the last time she had Eve on her back in a bathtub. [Explicit, kind of kinky…so heads up - villanelle may be soft but she also knows how to dom]

Eve was laying in the bathtub relaxing, eyes closed, her dark hair floating around her like a cloud. Villanelle didn’t make a single sound as she slipped in the bathroom and slid into the water, settling on top of Eve.

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Just because you have it, doesn’t mean you have to spend it.