A Heady Mixture

Killing Eve ― 3x01 (Review)

I didn’t rush to write this review right after the episode, as I sometimes need to rewatch the episode several times to actually appreciate it and spot a thing or two. I know, everybody’s writing these, their thoughts, so I’m sorry if some of them will be repetitive, but I do want to get my thoughts out! Soo shall we get to it?

Dasha

What is interesting to me is that they chose this flashback of Dasha being a gymnast in her early age as the very first scene of the episode. And let’s not forget, it is the first scene of the entire season, meaning it has to be very important one. I don’t think they brought her in just to play Villanelle’s next handler. She was her mentor before, which makes it a lot more personal to both of them. There’s more to her, I’m sure. So far I’m loving the dynamic between her and Villanelle. There’s this… old-friends reunited kind of vibe, but then again, they can be laughing one moment and trying to choke each other to death the next. In this aspect they are very similar. 

That brings me to Dasha’s killing style. It is unique, something we haven’t seen in the show before. It can only mean competition to Villanelle. And she’s so confident that her work is better than Dasha’s. Not only does she say it to Dasha, but later on copy her style during the spice kill ― which, by the way, I think is very underrated. 

Villanelle had to ask Dasha about her part of the deal, twice. Then she brought up the possibility of going back home ― back to Russia. It might be true, but I don’t think that’s everything she was promised. And it’s one more reason for us to keep watching to find out, hm?

The Wedding

All I can say about the wedding is ― WOW. I was looking forward to it and it didn’t disappoint. Actually, it’s the best part of the episode for me. Many people have said that it was ‘waste of potential’; ‘they only did it to set up a meeting with Dasha’; but really. I don’t think we would’ve gotten the Villanelle wedding in any other circumstance. Like, think about it. A wedding is not something Villanelle would normally do, right? She doesn’t care about such things, yet in this case she does it. Yes, she LOVES a good show and attention as well as being rich and have everything she ever wanted including having the power and control of it all. And since she’s getting over Eve, why not find another woman and marry her to prove to everyone and to herself, that she is totally over the Asian woman with amazing hair? She’s extra like that and I love it. And don’t get me started on the tuxedo blazer AND black tulle ruffle top. She wore THAT for her own wedding. Just thinking about it makes me want to go feral. 

Mooving on, the irony of Villanelle not only bringing up Eve during her wedding speech, but saying she is ‘so much happier now she’s dead’ while immedially afterwards glancing around the place almost as if she’s expecting to see Eve. She hopes she’s there… and it makes me wonder, what if Eve actually was there? What if she somehow made it to Villanelle’s wedding and just… can you imagine? What their interaction would look like? Plus having MARIA there the entire time and the guests? Damn. 

Then there’s casual Villanelle simply enjoying her wedding cake, because why the hell not? And on top of that ignoring her new wife during the dance. I mean… this is SUCH Villanelle thing to do. She couldn’t care any less. Then again we are reminded of how awkward/uncomfortable she could get around people when she’s being.. more or less herself. I haven’t seen her like that for a hot minute. She has always been brilliant in slipping into other groups of people, pretending to be a part of a conversation, it never really was an issue for her. Yet this time she’s not really pretending to be someone else. She is Villanelle and yes, she is awkward. I love that we got to see that bit. 

And of course… it wouldn’t be Villanelle’s wedding if there wasn’t a fight involved. Why not start a fight herself? It’s exactly what she did and having Dasha show up only highlighted the wedding scene even more. It wasn’t all about Dasha being there, it was about Villanelle trying to prove to herself that she’s finally moving on and I, personaly, needed that. It’s a shame the wedding scene ended so quickly, I mean we could’ve gotten a kiss or two, since it’s a damn wedding! Though I’m still really glad we got to see it. We actually got to steal a glance at Villanelle’s wedding. That sounds so surreal on itself. Are we sure they didn’t take this from any of the fanfics? 

Carolyn

(warning: possible spoilers/predictions ahead)

She’s still a very shady lady. Carolyn must be the most mysterious character on the show, based on how little we know about her, her work and her family. I’m glad that someone is finally confronting her about the previous operation in Rome. What’s even better ― Hugo sued MI6 and he has EVERY right to do so. The entire mission was a blood bath and someone has to answer for it. Yet, despite given circumstances, Carolyn remains completely still during all the accusations she has received and even refuses to apologize during her conversation with Kenny. None of the previous events that took place seem to be valuable and important enough for her. And that makes me wonder.. that maybe the Twelve ordered Kenny’s death to stop any further unofficial investigations AND to punish Carolyn, because Kenny’s all she has, right?

Well, now they will be bringing up Carolyns daughter ― Geraldine. Up to this point we knew that Kenny was Carolyn’s only child, but since he’s gone now, there has to be someone else related to Carolyn and we got Geraldine. From what we know now, they do not have a great relationship which makes me even more excited to see them interacting. 

Since the Twelve put a hit on Kenny… I’m starting to think that maybe Carolyn is next on their list, and possibly Konstantin. In S3 trailer we got a quick shot of Carolyn in a car with a driver. And there’s Villanelle, pretending to be a police officer, chasing someone down. If I’m correct, Villanelle will come after Carolyn and will try to assassinate her. Now why would Villanelle try to kill Carolyn? Either she will find out something related to Eve and Carolyn being involved, maybe wanting to take revenge? It’s not very likely is it? But the Twelve deiciding to take out Carolyn, and Villanelle doing the job sounds more like it. At least to me.

Eve

First off… the scene in the store is not only the first scene of Eve we see in this episode, but it shows exactly where she is right now. Where her mind is, how she’s dealing with everything around her. Cearly, she’s done with everything, running on auto-pilot for the most part of it. She’s one huge mood. Eve really must be the most relatable character for us as viewers. If something like this happened to us… we would basically be Eve. 

It’s been 6 months and that’s the Eve we see. She’s struggling. And she should be. She almost died and now everything seems to be reminding her of Villanelle. The song in the store, the cashier’s talking about spaghtetti and Rome?! Then the other cooks at the restaurant talking about one of their’s crush and how it started with infatuation and now it’s love. Everything about it screams Villanelle. We know it. Eve knows it. And most importantly… the SCAR itself. No matter where she goes, what she does… she won’t be able to erase Villanelle. She has been scarred for life and so was Villanelle and guys… that is just so brilliant. They are meant for one another and that’s a fact. Either they will end up together (hopefully) and somehow manage to create some kind of future together or they will die together. Either way.. they can’t hide from one another and that makes their next meeting so… so special and important and intense and all of the other things. I simply cannot wait.

Knowing how the episode ended, I didn’t think I’d appreciate Eve and Kenny’s scene together so much. It’s so deep and sincere and reveals a lot about what happened and where they are separately and together. I’m glad their first and last interaction this season was a light, positive one. They even talked about getting beers at the office during weekends. And knowing that.. Kenny was basically the only person who understood Eve and where she’s coming from, his death is exactly what can and WILL push Eve forward in investigating the Twelve and eventually reuniting with Villanelle. Back to S1, when Bill was killed, Eve was so determined to catch Villanelle and ‘kill her with her bare hands’ that no one seemed to be able to stop her. So this time… will be similar to it, if not even greater. 

Villanelle

Soo… Oksana wants to be a Keeper. Oksana the Keeper! It actually makes sense to some extent, that she will eventually want to get a ‘higher’ position in the industry and why not be the Keeper then. She has always wanted power and control and Keepers have that. They hold valuable information about the organisation that no one else knows. It’s a very important and dangerous position too. I can see why she’d want to be a Keeper, and not only that… she is still curious about who is in charge. How the whole system works. Though, at the same time.. knowing Villanelle, this might get tricky. She’s still very childish and impulsive and all other things.. she still needs to be handled by someone. That’s why I’m a bit concerned that if she ends up becoming a Keeper or having to handle other assassins (which she will, in next episode), things will go terribly wrong. I hope I’m wrong about this, because god, do I want to see Villanelle as a Keeper and continue being the top boss bitch in the industry.

Her confidence continues to fascinate me. Especially her confidence around Dasha. She knows she’s better than her and that’s all there is to it. Not only she says it but she proves that by her first kill this season. I honestly can’t wait to see her future kills, because so far it looks very promising.

Konstantin

Only a couple of scenes of the show’s dad this episode. Apparently he has several phones which he is struggling to deal with. He’s living several lives and that shows. In S2 he was all determined to get back to his family. But what we see in this episode is that he’s not with his family anymore. He’s working again. And based on Irina’s voice mail, he and his wife are separated. His wife has a boyfriend now and Irina is there with them. (I hope they will bring her back, what an iconic, hilarious yet annoying child) 

Konstantin receives several shady messages, one of which reads “time to go fishing”. It can mean literally anything. But for some reason I’m feeling that they want us to think he had something to do with Kenny’s death. It could be him, it could be an assassin Konstantin is handling right now. Or it’s not him at all, but we believe it’s him based of what we saw so far. Too many questions and not enough answers so far. 

He was the Twelve’s target back in S1 and had to stay low during S2 as a “dead man” so now.. I’m not really sure what his status is. Some of us saw the leaked photos of S3 finale and what might possibly happen… and that just brings me back to my previous point of Carolyn and Konstantin being the Twelve’s targets this season. Will they survive? And if they do… how? If they don’t… does that mean Villanelle and Eve will now be completely by their own and possibly on a run from the Twelve?!

Kenny

There’s not really much to say here. We ALL loved our dear Kenny. He’s probably the most innocent character on the show and he had to go. Now, I don’t believe his death was done for shock value. Not his character. A huge, meaningful character had to die in order for the rest of characters to get moving. For the entire story to move forward. They are setting up a serious plot here and I am excited, despite being really upset about Kenny’s death. 

I think Eve will be the mostly affected character in the show by his death. Carolyn doesn’t seem to be very affectonate towards her son, but hopefully it will make her realize just how big of a trouble she in. Eve, however, will be forced to get back to investigate the Twelve and she will not stop until she does so. She’s all by herself now. The determination, the anger as well as other feelings will drive her this season to get the much needed answers and get to the bottom of the whole thing. Meanwhile… Villanelle seeks information and control as well. She is trying to investigate the Twelve in her own way. So why not pair them up?

Overall thoughts

As many have said it, the episode felt different to me as well. I think that’s mostly because we have set our standards so high, that we immediately become disappointed if the episode doesn’t deliver as much murder, Eve/Villanelle scenes or something else we might be expecting in particular. 

I found myself wanting to compare the episode with other seasons and that is a mistake. We shouldn’t be comparing it because previous season had different plot, the overall feeling was different and the characters weren’t as developed as they are now. Furthermore, the show runner changes each season and that is what we need to look at. Phoebe and Emerald have done incedible job during those first two seasons but now it’s Suzanne’s time to shine. All three of them are different people and have different ideas and views as to how they see the characters and where they want to take them. So I think we might need to “forget” the previous two seasons and be way more open minded when it comes to third season. After all it’s the most personal one and it has a different feel to it. It’s more serious, and it is setting up an actual plot for the series. It’s a good thing. And as much as we hate changes like these… I think we should embrace them this time and let the show go in the direction it is going without the need to criticize it or control it. 

I’m beyond excited to see how everything will unfold and where this season will take us. Based on all the trailers and interviews I’ve seen so far… this will be a one helld of a ride and I am NOT prepared for it!

If any of you reached this point, you seriously deserve an applause! Hopeuflly you enjoyed reading my nonsense lol! Let me know if you’d like me to write a review for the next episode, because I do have plans for writing for the entire season, but it’s always better when I have an audience to write for! 

Now if you have any theories or thoughts don’t be shy to comment or message me so we could chat about it! I’d love nothing more than a good conversation about the show we have a common obsession for! 

I try to be understanding with every person, and try to view posts from their point of view if they get upset. I'm glad you're so outspoken and so open with your autism. You are lighting the way for more understanding, and leading the way for an open dialogue. That's awesome, my friend.

As for the kiddo, he had another seizure last week at the YMCA while swimming. I'm heartbroken, the doctors don't know why he's getting seizures. Fingers crossed all is worked out soon.

His eyes...

she thought, are beautiful. There is life in there far beyond her reach.

Behind his eyes was freedom, far from the chains of his mind and the complex bondage he was held fast to. If only he could reach out. But he is left with a blank stare and various stimulation that were expressed with a flap of his arms, and twirling, his constant twirling around.

She held fast though, returning each time to look into his eyes, because she knew, she knew there was freedom behind his eyes.

A freedom that would break free for an instant, and he would focus and be free from the chains for but a moment, and stare back with recognition, with a single word on the tip of his tongue, but would never be uttered; “mom.”

His eyes, she thought, are beautiful. There is life in there, far beyond her reach.

Ima gardenist

8 vegetables that you can regrow again and again.

Scallions

You can regrow scallions by leaving an inch attached to the roots and place them in a small glass with a little water in a well-lit room.

Garlic

When garlic begins to sprout, you can put them in a glass with a little water and grow garlic sprouts. The sprouts have a mild flavor than garlic and can be added to salads, pasta and other dishes.

Bok Choy

Bok choy can be regrown by placing the root end in water in a well-lit area. In 1-2 weeks , you can transplant it to a pot with soil and grow a full new head.

Carrots

Put carrot tops in a dish with a little water. Set the dish in a well-lit room or a window sill.  You’ll have carrot tops to use in salads. 

Basil

Put clippings from basil with 3 to 4-inch stems in a glass of water and place it in direct sunlight. When the roots are about 2 inches long, plant them in pots to and in time it will grow a full basil plant.

Celery

Cut off the base of the celery and place it in a saucer or shallow bowl of warm water in the sun. Leaves will begin to thicken and grow in the middle of the base, then transfer the celery to soil. 

Romaine Lettuce

Put romaine lettuce stumps in a ½ inch of water. Re-water to keep water level at ½ inch. After a few days, roots and new leaves will appear and you can transplant it into soil.

Cilantro

The stems of cilantro will grown when placed in a glass of water. Once the roots are long enough, plant them in a pot in a well-lit room. You will have a full plant in a few months.

A fancy meal

I Have (Another) Thing About Bathtubs

AO3 Link

Summary: In the alternate ending season 2, happy and on the run, Villanelle decides she wants a do-over of the last time she had Eve on her back in a bathtub. [Explicit, kind of kinky…so heads up - villanelle may be soft but she also knows how to dom]

Eve was laying in the bathtub relaxing, eyes closed, her dark hair floating around her like a cloud. Villanelle didn’t make a single sound as she slipped in the bathroom and slid into the water, settling on top of Eve.

Keep reading

To thine own self be true...

We are, every single one of us a different person. We are born and we acquire different looks, different body types, different skill sets, personalities, and we have to find out who we are and be true to ourselves, and don't waste energy trying to be like someone else. Figure out who you are. And really be happy with what you have.

I had a good childhood

Describing an orgasm...

Sometimes it’s hard to describe things.  It’s hard to pinpoint an exact moment.  It’s difficult to articulate your myriad of emotions.  It’s impossible to tell someone how it feels to die a little.  Whenever my husband asks me to describe my orgasm (he asks me every few months or so), I hit this dilemma.  I don’t know what to say, other than that it feels good.

Hopefully by writing it down, I can better comprehend what my orgasm feels like.  Here are the intimate details, enjoy:

Usually for me to orgasm, my husband performs oral sex on me.  He likes to call it, “licking.”  Sometimes one of us will turn to the other and say, “wanna lick?”

Before he starts licking, he likes to put mints in his mouth (Shout out to Starbucks mints), usually about 8, or more, and to the point where the coldness and mint flavor/smell permeates the room. I open my legs to him, and he likes to blow on my clit, and I squirm and giggle/groan a little because the minty freshness makes my clit cold, and I become wet waiting in anticipation.

Side Note: Sometimes he’ll rattle the case of mints, and I become wet like Pavlov’s dog drooling when he hears the sound of a bell waiting for a treat.  It’s especially embarrassing when he does it in public, and I have to cross my legs.  Mostly he does it by accident, but still, I’ve been conditioned, so to speak.

I lie back as he starts licking with his minty fresh breath.  Depending on how hydrated I am, is determined on how fast I orgasm.  If I’m well hydrated, I can come in about 20+ minutes, if not, it takes about 35-40 minutes, but my husband won’t stop until I come.

I start feeling shortness of breath about 5 minutes in. In the 20-40 minute span of him licking me, I have multiple mini orgasms, but that’s not what we’re here for.  We’re here for the grand finale of orgasms. Sometimes before I have a mini orgasm, he’ll stop licking and say, “Nope, not yet,” and I groan, and push his head back down as he chuckles.

As my body reaches towards the finale, I’m pretty much exhausted. I’m all sweaty, and my toes ache. But I know, and he knows, that we’re not done yet. 5 minutes before the finale, things happen to my body.

My body begins to feel like fire. It begins to hurt, it begins to shake, it begins to beg for a certain release. My back begins to arch, aching. My fingers begin to grasp the side of the bed, trying to hold on to something solid, but they usually ending up cupping a breast, and one wrapped around my neck, feeling the strain of it. My knees begin to cramp from the position its in.  My clit becomes so sensitive, I want him to stop licking, and keep licking forever. 

When I feel my clit become more sensitive, I’ll whisper out, “softer,” and he’ll gently poke at my clit, and when I say, “more, harder,” he’ll lick faster and rub his stubbly chin into my clit, and here is where it all changes.

My eyes will open, and all I can see is a kaleidoscope of color, I see fire, I see heaven and hell, I see my past and future. I stop breathing. I feel my stomach tighten up, and back straighten out, and my head fall back, and my fists balled up. And right when I feel like I’m about to die, I feel this different kind of heat in my clit, and I feel a pressure, a pressure like I have to pee, and I know, that this is it, the feeling of having to urinate is the big indicator for me that my orgasm will be a big one.

I start to convulse, I make a noise that both embarrasses me and excites me, a noise that I could never replicate in a normal setting, I grab at my chest, I grab his head, both pulling away and pushing him closer, and I weep.  I weep for the feeling that this euphoric feeling of death and life could be taken from me at any moment.  In about 2 minutes, my orgasm is over, and as I push him away, weakly saying, “please stop,” over an over, he’ll finally get up, and go to the bathroom to clean his face. While he’s in the bathroom, I’ll say over and over, “I’m dying, I’m dying, oh my God, I’m dying,” as I get orgasm aftershocks that wrack my body, as I lay in a fetal position, trying to catch my breath between each orgasm.

My husband will climb into bed, cuddle me and say, “you’re ok, you’re here, you’re fine,” as I come down from whatever cliff I was balancing on.

Then we’ll lay there for a while, chatting, caressing each other, and we’ll kiss, and then he’ll ask me, “are you ready, are you ok?” And I’ll say I’m fine, and we’ll begin to make love.

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you enjoyed the anatomy of my orgasm. I hope I haven’t bored you. Now, go forth and have many orgasms.  Maybe if you want, describe your orgasms in the comment section below. Lets compare notes.