Depression Is Like Trying To Peel A Potato With Another Potato Its Not Fun It Doesnt Work And You Just

I've been told to do this my whole life...there are very few occasions that it actually hasn't worked.

when girls sneeze theyre vaginas clench up so now every time a girl sneezes im like i know what ur vagina just did

This is truly great... But what is an insect destroyer gun and why don't I have one????

How to Feign Your Life is Together

Have a signature accessory, clothing article, make up look, or hair style.

Have a fragrance. Make your hair scents and lotions match your perfume.

It’s okay to dine alone. Bring a book or people watch.

Love your hair. Research the best brands for your hair type and use masks weekly.

Your nails don’t need to be fancy, but keep them maintained.

Stay worldly. Know works of art, artists, designers, films, books, politicians. Spend your lunch break reading the paper or a magazine.

Crying is not a weapon. It’s okay to feel your emotions, but never use them as an excuse to avoid your problems.

Jealousy is boring. Love and appreciate others. If you can’t love them, forget them.

Boost others. Flatter others, but don’t deprecate yourself in the process.

Don’t sulk. Don’t let the whole world know your problems. If you don’t want someone to give their opinion, don’t share your situation.

Your life is between you and the universe. Don’t post your personal matters for others to see.

Don’t emotionally blackmail others. They hurt you? Let them know and then move on. It’s between the two of you and not the world.

Cook dinner. Cook dinner and listen to music, the radio, or a podcast.

Treat yourself to candles and flowers. Be your own cheerleader.

Take naps. Take a cat nap on a Sunday afternoon with the blinds open and the fan on high.

Drink your water, eat your vegetables. Take care of your body.

Never have time to take off your jewelry before bed, but always have time to take off your makeup. Your nighttime skin regime is important.

Mystery is beautiful. You don’t need to reveal much of or about yourself.

Never appear other than as you are. Don’t lie about yourself. Embrace who you are at your core.

I can second this. All we want is to hang out and food... And in some cases, video games. :)

PSA from a Married Woman

Overeager Teenage Schoolboys Please Listen Carefully

Girls don’t care about your dick (or how big it is)

or your abs

or how many times you can imply sex in a normal conversation

Literally the only thing a girl ever gives a shit about is this

Someone they can hang out with and eat fucking pizza

HANG OUT AND EAT PIZZA.

HANG. OUT.

AND.

FOOD.

THAT IS LITERALLY ALL YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO DO TO IMPRESS A GIRL.

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

Bathbomb Tutorial!

Being of irrelevant status in most of what’s “cool,” I had no idea what the hell bathbombs where until just recently, and I was pretty unimpressed with the prices at places like Lush. I looked up a recipe and ordered the ingredients online and have messed with it in the few batches I’ve tried so far. Starting with a pound of each dry ingredient, I can make about four batches of six or seven bathbombs, depending on how consistent I am with my sizes, which isn’t often. Anyway, here’s how to make your own!

Dry Ingredients:

1 cup baking soda

1/2 cup citric acid

1/2 cup corn starch

1/3 cup epsom salts

Wet Ingredients:

2 1/2 tbsp olive or any other light oil

1 tbsp water

1 tsp fragrance oil

10 to 12 drops of food coloring

Mix your dry ingredients together, and set aside. Pour the wet ingredients into a small cup and pour it together into the dry.

Enjoy that fizz for a sec, and the color, ooooooh. Anyway, mix together throughly and then pack into small balls or place into molds (let set for a couple of hours, then it can air dry).

These will take anywhere from a day to two to dry out fully, so if you’re like me and are impatient to test, yes, you can still dry one out. It just probably won’t float, if you want that.

Speaking of which, if you get extra oil into the mix, it will take longer to dry, and will probably be heavier, so mix in extra epson salts. Extra epson salts alone make for a speeder drying time and a little extra shine. 

Make sure to get body safe oils and colors, not candle stuff, go for soap making materials. Mixing colors leads to interesting results, I tried to make purple, and my bathbombs dried to a cakepop like looking ball, but in the water it’s a most fabulous pink. Try mixes of scents (but don’t overdo it, tried something that now smells like playdoh in another batch) and see what combos you can come up with!

I’d love to see what everyone creates, send me photos or reblog with your own! Happy crafting!

I jumped...why did I jump? I knew something would happen. -____-"

How To Blow Up An Egg

*sighs*

Frozach Submitted

tysfish:

so very accurate