Homegrowndevil - Rejoyce! Our Times Are Intolerable

please accept these pictures of the goats minus Henry and Thistle and plus Thora's big baby face

today on things my boss says: "I don't want to pull over and pop a squat because i'm afraid a toad will suck on my ass cheek with its little mouth."

!!!!!! thank you all these are wonderful (just like you)

hey, does anyone have jewish movie suggestions not based around the holocaust?

good news: i got a job at a garden center, i love it.

weird news: the boss lady, Kim, asked if i was okay with spiders and instead of saying "yeah, as long as they aren't like, in my mouth," what i actually said was "yeah, as long as they are in my mouth," and it was simaltaneously the worst and most hilarious moment in my entire life.

also, the place is run by a middle aged lady, three teenagers, and an elderly couple. it has a metric fuckton of cats running around, i get to take home any tomatoes or plant clippings i want, and my legs really hurt from all the squatting i've been doing to pick things out of plants.

additions:

the couple that sits in front of me (they're like late 60's) who are absolutely In Love with each other

the doors are always locked so if you want in someone has to be at the door and this week there was no one imediately at the door and i couldn't text anyone to let me in and no one would have picked up so i was just outside for probably five minutes but i was already kind of late and thought i was going to have to wear the doily. it was harrowing.

the rabbi's wife got up to say something this week and i guess she refrenced some private joke between them and they both just started laughing their asses off

we had watermelon this week for lunch and everyone tried and no one succeeded in stopping me from eating half the plate.

the other rabbi (not the one with the sparkley tallis, there's a third one) who, if he sees you, you get cheek kisses.

fuck i accidentally deleted the post about the people at my synagogue and i'm mad cause i don't get to go this week, so here you all get to see it again:

my rabbi who will take every chance to tell you how shephardic jews Are Right and curses

the lady with the leopard print bag who dances the whole time

the lady who crochets yarmulkes

the little girl who runs around with her yarmulke on her face and her infinite dolls

my rabbi's wife who introduced doing a conga line during Yom Kippur because "you're all being to depressing, we're getting our souls cleaned today, lighten up."

all the weird old men, except when they eat all the good stuff off the lunch buffet

the very stressed and very tired starbucks manager

the All Powerful Linda

Hannah and her sister who are planning the garden we're going to put by the playground

the other rabbi with the sparkly tallit

this isn't a person, but in case we ever run out of extra yarmulkes, there's a doilie and if you get stuck with the doilie we all get to laugh at you, not to be mean, just, it's funny

i hope you all appreciate this weird old man i saw near my house today, he's what i aspire to be