it's so hard to pic my men and I'll be posting a lot if I'm gonna mention all of them (tho i can go all day, no problem)
compiled to top 5 because there's so many to choose fromđ©
this pic of geto lives rent free in my head, I love this baby so muchđ„č
im a s*ut for gojo. i wud use another adjective but community guidelinesđ€
black butler is sooo underrated, for all those who haven't seen it please watch. sebastian is soooo gooodđ€€
mackenyu/zoro and song kang *im soaked*
i wanna post thai actors too but....there's A LOT
it's so unfair that most of the men i love are either fictional or completely unachievableđ
saw it on twt and I just wanna do it here too!
doesnât have to be anime
I like my men depressed (I like them better when they have something to live for too đ„°)
I like when they show their forehead (for yuuji maybe sukuna mode lol), is a sunshine, baby, deserve rest and love, cutest smiles, foreheads, is sweet and gentle, have feral side idk and omfg I wanna suck all of them-
tag (everyone who wants to join can join too!) @downforsanji @stephisokay @anemptypuddingcup @gojo-mochi @acesgf @hauntedhearthowl @milkzoro
summary: Logan has a nightmare and finds comfort his his new child.
warnings: fluff, comfort, his child is adopted
Part if the Moonlight series (coming soon lol)
a/n: So i did things a little backwards. This should have been a oneshot after the og story of them finding the baby but I got this idea in my head and I couldnât shake it so youâre getting some things out of order. You donât need any context other than shes a baby and adopted tbh. Her name is Diana and i did take that from league of legends
Logan shoots up, chest pounding as a nightmare lingers in his head. He doesn't remember what this one was about. Probably just like all the other ones. His dead friends, the blood on his hands. Something along those lines.
He feels you stir next to him and freezes. You've been absolutely exhausted the last couple of weeks with the baby so the last thing he wants for you is to wake up because of him. He gently rubs your back, watching you relax under his touch until you're back to a nice deep sleep.
Loud cries start to come from the next room. His brows furrow as he pulls off the sheets.
Worry building in his chest as he hurries to the next room. Is something wrong? Is she sick? Hurt? He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees her in her bed. He places his hand on her forehead to check for a fever. No sign of sickness which is good but he's hyper aware as he checks her over.
"Hey there kid, what's with all the crying?" The crying starts to subside the moment she lays eyes on Logan.
He shushes her gently. Picking her up from her crib and holding her in his arms. He walks around in circles, gently bouncing her in his arms.
She's wearing some stupid onesie that Wade bought her. Red to match his suit. Stuffed animals sit perfectly in her crib but she clutches hard to one in particular. A damn wolverine plushie that you had searched forever for. He rolled his eyes at the idea but the moment Diana saw that stupid plush she squealed with happiness. Now it's her best friend.
"See no tears, no reason for tears. I'm here." He wipes away the stray tears from her chubby little cheeks.
He moves to put her back in bed but her faces scrunches up like she's going to cry again so he keeps her in his arms. He slowly sinks into the rocking chair sat next to her bed. Cradling her as he slowly rocks back and forth. The chair creaks beneath his weight and he makes a note to get a stronger chair.
"You hungry?" He tries to feed her the bottle you keep for emergencies but she won't budge. She doesn't need a diaper change so he has no clue why she woke up this time.
âDid you have a nightmare?" He asks softly as she grabs onto his finger. Looking up at him with big glassy eyes.
"That's okay, I get them too." She babbles nonsense in response.
Sometimes Logan wonders what she dreams about. Does she have memories of her parents? Does she ever miss them? Can she even miss them? She's just a baby. A poor, innocent child who was left for dead. The idea makes his blood boil. How could you just leave a child like that?
They're born into this world helpless and the people who were supposed to protect them left because their child happened to be born a mutant. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself. He was upsetting her, like she could sense his anger.
"Sorry kid, didn't mean to make you sad." She puts his finger in her mouth, sucking on it like a binky.
"Having fun there?" She gurgles and he takes that as a yes.
She shows no sign of being tired which is bad news for him and you. You just got her on a good sleep schedule and now it might get ruined.
"I know how scary nightmares can be." He brushes her little cheek and she giggles.
"But I promise they can't hurt you. I won't let anything hurt you." Her eyes start to flutter shut, the grip on his finger loosen as she listens to him talk. He moves her so that her head is resting on his chest. His hand rubbing up and down her back. She yawns and snuggles closer to him.
"Back to sleep kiddo, there we go."
"Logan?" Your sleepy voice calls from the door. You rub your eyes as you take in the view of Logan holding Diana in his arms.
"Nightmare.â He says looking at you. You walk over and gently rub his arm.
âYou or her?â He doesnât answer. You stay with them for a while. Sheâs fast asleep by now but she looks so comfortable in Loganâs arms that you canât even think of separating the two.
âDo you want to talk about it?â No. He doesnât. Heâd rather focus on the good in his life than remember the past. In fact holding Diana puts him at peace. Quieting his mind in ways normally only you can.
âMaybe sheâs good for more than just throwing up and making a mess.â Logan jokes and you lightly hit his arm.
âShut up you love her.â He stares at her sleeping face.
Sheâs looks so peaceful. He does love her. So much. So much that it scares him. What if she grows up and thinks heâs a monster? What if he fucks up somewhere and ruins his perfect girls life? As far as heâs concerned everything he touches gets ruined. He still wakes up in disbelief that youâre by his side everyday.
âOkay Princess, we need to get you back to bed.â You try and take her our of his arms but he pulls back.
âNo.â He holds her protectively to his chest. A flash of anger in his eyes fades as soon as it comes.
âIâm sorry. I. I just need a little longer.â He feels guilty for snapping but you understand.
You sit on the floor and rest your head on his lap. He doesnât even try to tell you to go back to bed because he knows you wonât listen. So he sits back and watches his girl for a little longer.
His perfect family.
i had to reblog, couldn't help myself
Baby gojo reacts to: megumi!đ€đș
âjust for three hours, can you do it?â
ââŠyeah.â
megumi stares at the blinking miniature of his sensei quietly, as the baby looks back at him too in silence.
âwell then!â gojo claps his hands before turning to you. âletâs go, sweets! we have a willing, trusty babysitter to take care of him!â
you shoot your husband a glare before turning to megumi. âsorry, megumi. we have to go to school and investigate the recent cursed spirits outbreak, and it doesnât feel right to bring him there.â
âi donât mind, nee-san,â megumi replies to you almost nonchalantly, throwing a glance at your baby in his hold. âiâll keep an eye on him.â
thatâs what megumi said, but even he doesnât know what heâll do with a baby in his apartment. at first, he puts the kid on his bed and he immediately sits up straight and turns to him.
âwhat?â he questions the baby as if he could answer him. âdo you feel cold?â
the munchkin is dressed in a frog onesie with little ears, so maybe he doesnât feel cold, megumi thinks. in the next half an hour, he and the baby are in staring match, as he doesnât even squeak once.
âyou must be bored here,â megumi sighs, starting to feel bad that he canât entertain him. âmaybe i should ask her to accompany me next timeâŠâ his thoughts flit to the chirpy girl in his class, whom he knows will have many ideas to humor a baby.
maybe it can also be an excuse to spend time with her too.
suddenly, baby scoots closer to his side and leans to him, closing his eyesâ and megumi feels warm inside.
âah,â a small smile lights his face at the sight of this cute creature depending on him so trustingly. he pulls him closer and pats his back, before wrapping his arms around him to keep him in place.
âokay, letâs sleep together then.â
â€ïž
coping real hard
now i really wanna have (his) babies
Oooo Kenji Sato x a curvy girlfriend please? I wanna see how emi and kenji are upset and âarguingâ whoâs turn to cuddle the reader while she and professor Sato are eating snacks
heree youu go, hon. sorry abt the wait. enjoyy<33
She's mine
kenji sato x curvy!fem!reader
this contains: fluff, cuddling, silly banters.
summary: kenji amd emi quarrel for your attention.
masterlist !
"you think they'd stop this nonsense anytime soon?" professor sato asked you, pushing the box of donuts towards you.
you picked one with the strawberry filling, "highly unlikely," you bit into it, watching the drama unfold in front of you with professor sato.
kenji and emi arguing by the workplace, voices raised and hands moving around exaggeratedly.
kenji's finger was pointed directly at emi as she adamantly flailed her arms in response. her face was drawn down in distress, clearly feeling frustrated and unheeded by his stern demeanor.
"you had her last week!" kenji argued, "now, it's my turn,"
emi squealed in protest, flopping down on the ground with a cry.
"oh really? you think you can have her by throwing a fit?! not gonna happen, princess,"
you rolled your eyes at the scene, lips tugging upwards in amusement.
"no can do, missy!" kenji hollered at the kaiju baby, "she's mine. i got her first! you came around like what, a few weeks ago?" he pretended to think, "get in line, young woman!" he jabbed a thumb behind his back.
growling in frustration, emi sent a ray of sound waves his way. kenji barely dodged it at the nick of time, gaping up at emi. at the nerve to do so.
"this is so stupid," you face-palmed, sliding off the chair from professor sato's side and headed towards the children's quarrel.
"okay kids," you got in between them, speaking sternly, "mommy's here. behave yourself-" you yelped when you were pulled into kenji's arms, made to stand in front of him.
emi pouted, making grabby hands at you, cooing in need.
kenji pulled you into him in such a way your back was flush with his chest, "i don't even need to argue or explain myself to you whatsoever, emi," his palms splayed on your love handles, holding you possessively, "she's mine," he kissed your neck possessively, making your squirm in place, his fingers curling on your soft skin of your stomach.
emi's cheeks wobbled her and shoulders sagged in defeat, assuming you had picked him over her.
her cheeks wobbled and emi wailed loudly, kicking her legs on front of her.
he scoffed at her, "you think she's gonna coddle you- honey, don't coddle her," kenji uttered to you when you slipped out of his arms and headed towards emi.
you strode towards her, climbing the high-rise stool and sat cross-legged on it, "my poor baby, c'mere," you cooed at her, stretching your arms put in front of you, "s'okay, my love,"
"i thought i was your love," kenji mumbled lowly, ducking his head. but you heard it.
you shot him a stern glare that spoke 'not now, kenji,"
your boyfriend groaned loudly, stomping over to his father's side and sat on your seat. he grabbed a donut, stuffing his face to cope up with the annoyance that was bubbling in him.
"shh, shh, i'm right here," you hands spread on her cheeks when she leaned towards you. you pressed a loud smooch to her orange beak, making her sobs stop instantly.
kenji rolled his eyes, "cheap trick-ow!"
professor sato hit his son at the back of his son with his cane, "get it together!"
you had cuddled emi to sleep, her arm slung over your lap. you brushed your palms on her round cheeks to ease her into sleep.
you carefully slipped out, heading towards the corner of the basement where kenji was making his daily coffee.
he heard you approach and looked at you over his shoulder, letting out a sigh of relief, "can i have you to myself now?"
you gave him a nose-scrunched smile, arms held wide for him.
kenji rushed into your awaiting arms, pulling you into him. his face burying into the crook of your neck, "finally, all mine,"
you slipped your hands into the hair at the back of his neck, "you need to grow up,"
you stilled when you felt him kiss your jaw, muttering desperately, "missed you so much, baby. you have no idea," he huffed into your chest like a needy child, clinging onto you.
he sat on the couch behind, pulling you on his lap. his hands were at the back of your thighs, making you straddle him.
his fingers squeezed your thighs, as though to make sure you were actually with him
"kenji...?" you rested your hands on his shoulders, your tone questioning.
"shush, sweetheart," kenji silenced you with a kiss to your lips. your chest against his, both hearts beating in sync, "you're not going anywhere. and m'not gonna lose you to a kaiju baby, for god sakes,"
jack is everything i want đ©
SOLID WORK; dr jack abbot x dr!reader
words: 4,700+
content warnings: my minimal medical knowledge, doctor humor, abbotâs filthy mouth, some smut, fluff <3
notes: i am so beyond new to this fandom and to tumblr so please stick with me but i couldnât not write thisđ«¶
ă»â„ă»
âSolid work.â
My breathing slows as I start to process the complexity of the procedure I had just performed. Iâd probably be blushing at Dr Abbotâs praise if it werenât for the adrenaline coursing through me.
âThat was your save. Not mine.â
Trust me - I am never jumping to credit a man with my work but that was the truth. I may have physically done everything but the idea and the instructions that made it possible were all Dr Abbot.
I look back down at the patient. I tell myself itâs to make sure this is all real. That I really just did that. But if I am being honest itâs to avoid Dr Abbotâs unwavering eye contact.
âHey-â
He is not gonna let me. I look up to meet his gaze. So rock solid but somehow so warm all at once. He may as well be staring right through me.
He lightly rests his hand on my forearm to stop me from going for the suture. To stop me from giving him anything other than my undivided attention.
â-you are the smartest person in here. Take the win.â
I canât help the exasperated smile that spreads across my face. Heâs right. Iâve only got a couple months left of residency. I should just take the fucking win for once in my life.
Abbot, much to my surprise, smiles back. And he has dimples because of course he does.
Heâs calm under pressure, he lies on official paperwork to get a teenage girl the abortion she has every right to, heâs the actual smartest one here, heâs kind to everyone in this ED regardless of the stress he is under, andâŠhe still has his hand on my arm.
His hand. The veins there donât hurt the eyes either.
We must both realize his lingering touch at the same time because he is clearing his throat and pulling away. He reaches for a surgical instrument he doesnât need. Picks it up and then puts it down.
I swear there is a faint blush on his cheeks but if I think about that too long one will appear on my own.
âLet Whitaker stitch this up. Go home - get some rest. Your shift ended hours ago.â
âI love Whitaker but he is so slow we may as well let the wound heal all on its own.â
Dr Abbot laughs. Genuinely, truly laughs as we exit out of the trauma bay. So loud that Robby looks over and asks if heâs okay.
Donât get me wrong. Dr Abbot has a wonderful sense of humor. A wicked one, actually. But itâs one of those dry, witty kinds. Not the animated, giggly kind.
I tell myself itâs not a bad thing that Iâm proud to have gotten a good laugh out of him. That itâs not a bad thing that it gave me butterflies. Thatâs itâs not a bad thing that I am laying in bed wondering how the hell I am going to get him to do that again.
ă»â„ă»
Jack lets out a low moan as he recovers. His eyes are dazed, his head slightly tilted back but not so much so that he canât keep eye contact with me.
His hand that held the makeshift ponytail in my hair starts to massage my scalp as the other hand reaches for my chin and tilts my head up to meet his strong gaze.
Once heâs got me where he wants me, his thumb travels from my chin to my lips, swiping whatâs left of his release off of it.
âMy good girl. So good for me, yeah?â
My thighs involuntarily clench together at his words. He knows it too. I nod as his thumb presses further into my mouth, my lips wrapping around it.
His mouth quips into a smirk, âSolid work, doctor.â
I roll my eyes and bat his hand away. Standing up from my knees on my own. Ignoring his arms trying to gently guide me up instead.
âThat! That is exactly what I am talking about!â
âI have no idea what youâre talking about, baby.â
Jack just laughs as he grabs my wrist, turning me back towards him. Heâs quick to have me pinned up against our shower wall - his strong thigh spreading my own apart as he plants long slow kisses across my neck.
âYou know exactly what Iâm talking about.â
Back when I was a resident, otherwise known as a couple months ago, Jack consistently praised what I was doing by saying âSolid work.â
The way he did always made me dizzy. His voice would drop an octave and heâd look me straight in my eyes while he said it. There is nothing inherently sensual about the phrase but it took me a while to realize he was not complimenting the other residents like that.
Him saying it during sex started as a joke. Harkening back to when, as he puts it, I was so painfully oblivious to his flirting. To which I responded, âThat was flirting?â.
He said it again to me at work the next day. Being completely and utterly genuine. I donât even remember what I did but I did it well and he is always the first to acknowledge that. So he was confused when I just huffed in annoyance and peeled out of the room without so much of a glance at him.
I wasnât annoyed at him. I was annoyed that now all I could think about was him. His hands, his biceps, his tongue. Everything. And I still had six hours of my shift to go.
He followed me into the on-call room I was going to find some refuge in. He locked the door behind him - closed the curtain for good measure.
âWhatâs wrong? Are you okay?â
And then I felt bad. He thought something was actually wrong. That no way Iâd ever brush him off like that when he was just trying to compliment me unless something was seriously wrong.
His eyes bored into mine, genuine concern and love pouring out of them. And here I was just being a brat.
I tried to be sly about the way my eyes trailed the veins bulging out of his biceps. I tried to be sly about the way I was imagining my hands tugging on his salt and pepper curls that were just slightly askew from a couple hours work. Unfortunately for me, Jack can read me like a book.
âDid you just stomp out of the ED because youâre needy?â Jack couldnât contain the grin that spread across his face at the realization.
âWell maybe if you werenât always going Mr Christian Gray on me with the praise-â
âI donât even know who that is but all I said was âSolid workâ-â
Jack stops himself as he remembers the past couple nights. When he was saying the same thing in a much different context.
I canât say Iâm entirely innocent. Or innocent at all really. I love throwing in a âsirâ every now and again at work to tease Jack. So he does the same to me with other phrases - constantly.
And he said the same thing in that on-call room that he is saying to me right now, âBut what I do know is how fucking wet you are for me. So stop pouting and let me taste you, yeah?â
He swipes a finger through my soaked folds before heâs the one sinking down to his knees as I try to keep mine from buckling.
ă»â„ă»
âSolid work, Dr Abbot.â
I smile down at my sparkling new engagement ring and then up at the love of my life.
âSeriously? You can tease but I canât?â
âWhatâs that saying again? Happy wife, happy life?â
Neither of us can wipe the huge grins off of our faces. No one knows weâre engaged yet. Just how we wanted it.
A couple of months ago, right after I had taken an attending job at The Pitt, Jack had broached the topic of marriage. Weâd talked about it before. We both knew we were spending the rest of our lives together. But we hadnât actually talked about the timeline of it all - the logistics.
Jack was always extremely hyper aware about how our relationship affected me. He didnât want it to interfere with my career or all of my hard work. So as much as he wouldâve walked down the aisle six months ago, he wanted everything to be on my terms.
âHypothetically - if I were to propose, say within the next month - would you say yes?â
âHypothetically - if I ever say no to a marriage proposal from you - please get me a psychiatry consult.â
Jack laughed - in an airy way where you could tell he was relieved. I kissed him. There was no universe in which I ever said no to a proposal from him.
He pestered me with questions. He wanted direction but not so much so that I wouldnât be surprised when the time came.
I told him I didnât want anything fancy. No big party although I did want to have a small gathering with our friends and family at some point afterwards. A nice sized diamond but not gaudy. No grand gestures - just him being him is all that I wanted.
And he executed perfectly. Because when does he not. It was our first night in the new home we had bought. He said we could get a hotel while we waited for our furniture to be delivered. But I wanted to do one night with no furniture, an air mattress, some candles, and a pizza delivery.
âLike camping.â I had said.
âYou hate camping.â
I laughed because he was right but he obliged me anyways. He carried me over the threshold and I made a joke about how heâs got to be careful - being old and all.
Then he carried me right over to the air mattress, said something like âCan an old man do this?â and went on to coax four orgasms from me - one from his fingers, one from his tongue, one from his thigh, and finally one from where I wanted him most.
When we were done, I threw on one of his old tshirts and a pair of boxers. He just had on an old pair of sweats and a white tee. We stared into each others eyes like two lovesick teenagers until he said âCome here - I gotta show you something.â
âBabe, the house is empty.â
âGet over here smart ass.â
Jack picked up a candle and lead us over to the fireplace. He set the candle on the mantle as I read what was now engraved into the stone âThe Abbots - Est 2025â
âSo this is why you were getting all of those random tools from Amazon.â
Ever the handy man he is. Then he was on his knee. His bad one. To which I told him he didnât have to do that. And then he said he would even if it killed him. And I think I said something stupid like âNot on my watch.â
I donât even remember what he said after that. He doesnât either. We both blacked out from sheer happiness. All I really remember is him asking me to do him the honor of being his wife and me pulling him up off of his knee and saying âDuh!â as fast I could before kissing him. Over and over and over again until that air mattress was just a deflated extension of the wood floor beneath it.
ă»â„ă»
Danaâs hand rests on my thigh gently. My leg stops shaking. My mind doesnât stop racing though.
I'm not an anxious person. If anything, I can be relaxed to a fault. But I am an intuitive person - and something is wrong.
Where is he?
âRelax. When is that man ever late?â
âThatâs why Iâm worried.â
You would think I didn't have my own license or car the way Jack insists on driving me everywhere. He tells me it is to keep our insurance from being sky high. I may or may not be a bit accident prone when behind the wheel. I tell him it's because he's obsessed with me. He always huffs a laugh and murmurs something about two things being true at once.
The Pitt makes sense. Ever since Jack started taking on more day shifts to balance out our conflicting schedules, a lot of times we are arriving and leaving here together. But on the off chance we are not, he is still picking me up. Always with some kind of treat in hand - usually a McDonalds Diet Coke much to Jack's dismay.
Jack takes the saying 'If you're not early - you're late' far more seriously than anyone I have ever met. The day shift typically gets off at 7 PM which means he is usually here to gossip with Robby on the roof by 6:35 PM.
âGo - take a case! Heâll be here to pick you up before you know it.â
My dissents are quickly met with Dana shooing me from the nurses station and personally squaring my shoulders to the board.
I havenât even read the first name when Robby appears at my shoulder.
âWhere is your fiancĂ©?â
âSay that any louder and youâre going to be my next patient.â
âYeah because you two are so inconspicuous with the whispering and the giggling and the big honking rock on your finger and the-â
â-disappearing to 'clean' the on-call room.â Dana finishes Robbyâs sentence as they both double over in laughter.
Dana, Robby, and Collins are the only people in the ED that know about Jack and Iâs relationship.
Collins knew I had feelings for Jack before I even let myself go there. Robby knew Jack had feelings for me before he let himself go there. So they took matters into their own hands.
Collins had a $100 on Jack breaking first. Robby $100 on me. And he had an extra $100 to spare when he bribed Dr Ellis to ask me to take her night shift for a week. Oh, how that backfired on him.
Three shifts later and Robby was $200 in the hole.
Six months later, I was moved out of my city apartment and into Jack's house.
Dana offered to drive me home after shift one night. Because it was cold and rainy and my apartment was close by. My apartment that I no longer lived in.
Jack wasnât picking me up - he was out of town at a conference. I insisted on taking an uber, the bus, walking - anything that meant not explaining to Dana why my new address was the same as Dr Abbot's. She wouldn't take no for an answer and yelled "Oh, I knew it! Bridget owes me $100!" when I finally fessed up.
One year later, almost to the day that Robby had to pony up on his bet with Collins, I had an engagement ring on my finger.
Tonight, after he picks me up, Jack and I are going to pilates together.
It was only a matter of time before Robby and Collins gave it another go and I bet Jack that Robby would fold before Collins.
What's the point in betting money when we share a bank account? Seeing Jack in the pink pilates grippy socks he does not know I got him will be priceless.
âWell, when you find him please tell him that he is late for our date on the roof."
"Stop dragging him up there - you already have a date tonight!"
"Yeah, one in which I need his advice on."
"Oh please, you're talking to the wrong Abbot if you need advice on how to woo Collins." Dana interjects. Not everyone in the ED knows about Jack and I but they do know Heather and I are best friends.
"Oh, I wasn't aware you two had tied the knot already. Do you want me to change your name on the board? I can do that right now actually. Does HR know? It'll just take a moment-" Robby teases.
I grab the remote out of Robby's hands as he laughs, "Okay fine - go have your little roof date but do not take long!"
"Well, we'd already be done if he wasn't late. Where is he by the way? He is never late for anything.â
âYeah, donât remind me.â
I step forward, my elbows on the counter of the nurses station and my head now in my hands as I groan.
âRelax. Itâs Jack - we couldnât keep him away from this place even if we wanted to. Especially with you in here.â Robby squeezes my shoulder and is off to what I assume to be the roof.
I check my watch before I stand back up to scan the board for real this time - 6:50 PM.
Where is he?
I pull my phone from my pocket. Thereâs no new message from Jack lighting up my home screen but I open up our conversation anyways.
From Jack: I miss you
From Jack: I canât believe Langdon is getting to hang out with you right now and not me
From Jack: If you stay at that damn hospital any longer weâre gonna have to start forwarding all these packages you order there
Little does he know one of those many packages holds his new pilates socks.
To Jack: Oh please - as if more than half arenât all your little go bag gadgets
To Jack: And to think our colleagues think Iâm the drama queen
âIncoming - Trauma 1!â
Iâm happy for the distraction. Iâm gowned, gloved, and ready to go before the patient is even rolled in.
The doors to Trauma 1 fly open - but not with a patient. Just Dana.
âIâm going to get Robby! You should not have to do this.â Dana is staring pointedly at me before sheâs off. I donât even get a chance to respond.
Weird. I know Iâve only been an attending for a couple months but Dana had more confidence in me on my first day as an intern than she did just now.
I now understand why as the patient is rolled in front of me.
There he is.
Unconscious. Cold. Clammy. And slightly bloody from a small cut on his forehead.
My world stops.
âHeart attack.â Langdon is here.
Somehow all I can think of is Jackâs text from earlier. I want to laugh but I canât. What if I never get one again? Iâm supposed to see him in pink pilates socks tonight. Not in a body bag.
âCLEAR!â
Suddenly all the pieces from the past couple days are coming together and I cannot believe I didnât catch it sooner. Canât believe he didnât catch it sooner!
âCLEAR!â
His dizziness. The increase in massages of his amputated leg. The quick heart beat. The rash.
I hear the commotion around me. But Iâm not processing any of it until itâs directed at me.
âI said CLEAR! Move!â
This cant be happening. So I decide that itâs not going to.
âNo!â My voice comes out way more feeble than I meant. Way more feeble than anyone in this ED has ever heard me.
âWell I hope you enjoyed being Abbotâs favorite because youâre going to kill him and your career in one go.â
âLangdon - he is not having a heart attack.â
âYes he is!â
âNo he isnât - take off his leg!â
âTake off his leg?! Okay, youâre literally going insane. And Iâm supposed to report to you?! I know I went to rehab but oh my gosh - CLEAR!â
âIâm going to clear you out of this trauma bay if you do not get out of my way.â
You know how they say a new mom could lift a car off of her new born baby? Iâm pretty sure thatâs the phenomenon I am experiencing right now. I donât exactly know what other worldly force is taking over me right now but I do not question it. I am watching myself from outside of my body as I spring into action.
I shove Langdon to the side as I lift up Jackâs pant leg to remove his prosthetic. The prosthetic that noone else in this room wouldâve known he had.
He doesnât keep it a secret but he doesnât exactly advertise it either. Especially when he refuses to sit down on a double shift. Ironically enough, thatâs probably why he is on this table.
I spot what Iâm looking for immediately but Langdon is the one who speaks it out loud, âPressure ulcer - heâs in septic shock.â
âThanks for finally using your brain Dr Langdon but weâre going to be using mine from here on out.â
âBlood ox is 91.â Someone yells. I donât know who. What I do know is that 91 is dangerously low.
âScalpel.â I demand.
âWhat are you going to do?â
âWe need to drain this fluid before his organs start to fail.â
The first and only time Jack taught me this procedure it was his save. Now it has to be mine.
I tell myself that one day we will be sitting in front of our engraved fireplace. Old. Like, actually old. Not the fake old that Jack tries to pretend he is. With kids and grandkids - telling them the story of how Jack saved his own life through the transitive property. So I better get to work.
âScalpel. Now.â
Langdon slams the scalpel into my hand. I ignore the looks around the room. The looks that say âThe only person qualified to perform something like this in an ED is the patientâ.
âYour funeral. And his.â I ignore Langdon.
I must have cut the most perfect incisions of my life. Performed the most flawless procedure anyone has ever seen from me. I donât remember any of it.
The loud beeping slows. His blood pressure rises. Then his blood oxygen. Then the bag I drained is full and being disposed of by Dana.
When did she get here?
Robbyâs hand is on my shoulder, trying to pull me away.
When did he get here?
I hear him tell Whitaker to get a suture and close up the wound. Oh, the irony. Credit where credit is due - Whitaker has gotten much quicker under Jackâs patient teaching. Thank fucking goodness.
I think of the first real laugh I got out of Jack. My eyes start to tear up but I stop myself. I will hear that laugh again. Over and over and over again. So much so that I would get sick of it if that was even possible.
Robby is apologizing profusely into my ear. He has nothing to be sorry for. But I canât manage any words. So I just let him move me out of Whittakerâs way but I do not leave Jackâs side.
I canât seem to register anything beyond Jackâs face that Iâm seemingly trying to force into consciousness with my stare alone.
âWhere the hell did you learn that?â
My head turns to Whitaker at his question but it swivels so fast back to Jack I think I give myself whiplash. Because I donât speak - he does.
âSolid work, doctor.â
Iâve never been happier to hear those words come out of his mouth.
âOh my god.â My hand clamps over my mouth as my head dips to Jackâs chest, my arms wrapping around his shoulders.
My adrenaline tank plummets to zero and I am absolutely sobbing into Jackâs chest. Whatever was coursing through my veins during that procedure is coming out in what feels like gallons of tears and hiccups.
I donât care whoâs in the room. I donât care that everyone is slack jawed and staring and so beyond confused. I donât care that out of the corner of my eye I see Perlah slapping a $100 into Princessâs palm.
All I care is that Jackâs hand has found its way into my hair and when I place my shaking hand on top of it to make sure itâs real - it is. Even better - itâs warm and dexterous and alive.
Heâs alive and heâs here.
He gently guides my head out of his chest. I lift my chin up to look at him - give him the eye contact I know he is seeking. That we both are.
âBaby - Iâm okay. Iâm okay, Iâm safe, Iâm here. Iâm not going anywhere.â
His voice is as steady as ever. His heart beat matching it. The beat that was so faint what seems like moments ago.
I let it calm me down. I place a kiss to his chest and lean up to do the same to his forehead. My hand tangles in his salt and pepper curls as I hold his sweaty forehead to my lips and then bring my own forehead down to meet his. I close me eyes and breath him in.
Heâs alive and heâs here.
âWelcome back, brother.â Robby manages to choke out through a couple tears of his own.
âJust wanted to make sure you guys werenât getting lazy at the end of your shift.â
We all crack a smile but only Robby speaks, âDoes this mean I have to work a double?â
âNot if you go park my car. Itâs in the ambulance bay.â
I speak a full sentence for what feels like the first time in days, âYou drove here?â
âWe had a date. Plus, I wasnât feeling quite right.â Jack nods down towards his amputated leg like itâs nothing but a minor inconvenience.
I dig into his pocket and toss Robby his keys. Robby calls for a CT and a room with a bed before ushering himself and everyone else out to give us some privacy.
âAnd how are you feeling now?â
âIâm feeling like Iâd like to make the woman who just saved my life my wife.â
My hand immediately flies to the small cut on his forehead. The blood dry and crusty, âHow hard did you hit your head? Weâre already engaged.â
Jack chuckles, places his hand on mine and squeezes, âI barely hit my head when I fell out of the car. Iâm fine - I just really don't want to live another moment without being able to call myself your husband.â
So we donât. Not really anyways. I make Jack get every fucking scan in the book that I think we hit our insurance deductible in under an hour. He humors me by lying in the bed in one of the ER rooms as I pump a myriad of fluid and antibiotics into him.
After a few hours his blood oxygen is perfect. So is his blood pressure and his heart rate. I donât think Iâve taken my eyes off of him once. Or my hands. Running my hands through his hair, caressing his forehead, squeezing his forearm. Just to reassure myself he is here.
He understands what Iâm doing. Hears what I cannot say. He grabs my hand on its next pass through his hair and presses a kiss to every single knuckle before speaking, âBaby, Iâm sorry I scared you. I scared myself honestly. But I promise, I am not going anywhere. Ever. And I am so sorry you had to go through that. You should have never had to operate on me. I donât know how you did that. I mean if it was flipped. If I saw you come in like that-â
His voice falters, his bottom lip quivers and he pulls me into the tightest hug as we both begin to cry. I think if we could crawl into eachothers skin, we would.
We stay there like that for a while. Until Jack grabs my face, kisses every single part of it, then whispers âI love you so much but I think if you pump anymore fluid into me youâre going to water board me.â
As if on cue, Robby whips the curtain open, âTo the roof we go!â
âYou canât be serious.â
Robby holds up some kind of certificate as Collins and Dana round the corner.
In the hours I spent nursing Jack back to health, I went to the bathroom one time. And only because I hadnât gone the last four hours of my shift and I own a huge water bottle.
In that one bathroom break, Jack had managed to get Robby ordained online and enlisted Dana and Collins to âdecorateâ the roof.
Weâre still gonna have our wedding ceremony and the reception and the whole ordeal. But I agree with him - I canât go another second not married to him. Not after today.
So we go up to the roof. Jack still in his hospital gown and me in my scrubs. Robby officiates, Dana sings because she canât help herself, and Collins âwitnessesâ which really means crying.
Jack is kissing me before Robby can even say, âYou may kiss your bride.â
When we come up for air, Robby claps both of us on the back and says, âSolid work, you two.â
I just kiss my husband again. Because he is alive and he is here
kawaii đ©”
wc: 4.6k cw: minor swearing, he refers to u as 'momma' once (its normal i promise) n i think thats about it post suguru defection, shoko typical smoking ; no established relationship b ur def more than friends
i didnt want this angst to be too intense so i made it super duper fluffy. hopes it tastes like strawberries to u cs it does in my head ; another one of those fics i whipped up to meet the weekend deadline b iâm actually proud of this one not proofread!
satoru hates arguing with you.
it bites at him; twists his heart from the inside out in such a gut-wrenching way that he can hardly stand seeing your nose wrinkle in frustration and your eyes narrow with impatience, let alone hear the words coming out of your mouth, dripping with venom and irritation directed at him. he's never been used to being on the receiving end.
it tastes sour; bitter on his tongue in a way he's never been accustomed to. his tastebuds only recognize the sweet taste of fruit syrup, powdered sugar, or warm chocolate as home; he never indulges in the bitter, like the black coffee the kid he took in seems to like so much. but he'll take the silly sour lemon drops with sweet cream in the center, only because they remind him of you. you, so sweet when you love but sour when you're annoyed, which happens to be now, in this instant.
of course, he'll tell himself he doesn't mind. that sweet and sour have always gone nicely together. like strawberry lemonade on hot summer afternoons when the both of you have had enough of being stuffed into a clammy hot classroom with your musclebrain teacher. sometimes its the three of you, maybe even the four of you if you get lucky with the pixie stick trade offering (a healthier alternative to a cigarette, you both agreed on). but nowadays, it was only ever the two of you. the bitter had chosen his own path, and tangy was locked up in the infirmary sun up to sun down.
but right now, you're upset with him. and he absolutely despises itâ to him, it's abhorrent. a strong word, but it's only fitting. but he can't help it when your conversation lingers in his mind, spinning itself a web of self-doubt and hurt and anger as he slips his gym shoes off and redresses himself by the school lockers, running a hand through his hair with a forced, annoyed exhale.
it was nothing big, really. or at least, that's what he thinks. you'd been in the gym after school, watching as he messed around with the basketball, seeing how long he could go dribbling by himself with a bump of his knee there, pushing it to the floor with his hand and watching it bounce back up with mild interest. he had no one to play with, but at least the ball would come back up no matter how much he pushed it down.
it was small. barely worth fussing over.
he had already been irritated. it was hot out, because summer was coming around. sweat beaded on his neck and rolled down his chest, seeping into his shirt as he wiped his forehead and made another shoot at the hoop, landing back on his feet with a soft thud as the basketball rattled around the rusted metal ring and fell through the net for the nth time that afternoon.
a hum of approval comes from your throat, followed by a loud whistle of contentment from him as he watches the ball bounce on the floor. he hikes his sunglasses up his forehead, bringing an arm up and wiping away the sweat on his cheek with his sleeve as he turns to look at you.
"that was pretty good, yeah? i think i deserve a celebratory smooch. lay some sugar on me, momma'." he laughs, loud and arrogant. you just give him a pointed look at that, but he ignores it as a sign for something wrong and only acknowledges it as your dramatic endearment. like speeding up at the sight of a yellow light in hopes that you'll make it instead of slowing down at the warning.
his shoes made squeaking sounds on the gym floor as he made his way over to you, swiping his shades off his face and sliding them onto your forehead, nestling in your hair as he grabbed a rag from the bench and wiped the sweat from his jaw. you have his uniform jacket on your lap, the yellow button glinting in the dying sunlight filtering in through the windows, reflecting off indiscernible flecks of dust in the air.
you had watched him with quiet contentment, observing the languid way he moved, graceful like a dancer moving in water. but then, you seemed to remember something; his lips pressed into a thin line, tilted to one side in anticipation. it made you hesitateâ he always knew when you were about to speak before you even opened your mouth. he had come to notice, and appreciate, little things about you like that.
"were you smoking with shoko?" you had asked him. he tilted his head, eyebrow cocked up as he made a face. "no, i wasn't. why d'ya ask?" he huffed, watching from the corner of his eye with mild disinterest as the basketball, still rolling from his previous goal, bumped into the wall. cocky as ever.
(he wouldn't even look you in the eye when you were being dead serious.)
you reach a hand into his jacket, fishing around for something in his pocket; that gets his attention. who knows what trinkets and candy wrappers he has in there? and he'd hate for you to send him to his yearly checkup early again; the nurses always try to coddle him, and he has half a mind to charge for battery. nevertheless, he almost mistakes what you pull out for a lollipop stick. but it's notâ it's a cigarette; a white papery hit of cancer with a dead cherry. certainly not a wise idea to keep that in his pocket among the other very flammable wax wrappers and the occasional flower petal, but who were you to judge? you, who's lips pucker like they've just tasted lemon juice when he eyes the unlit cigarette, utterly unamused.
he knows that you know it's his; the subtle glistening of pink around the end points to the gloss on his lips; he can practically taste it on his tongue. he wonders if you'd put the cigarette to your mouth too if you could have a sample of his lipgloss; then again, you could always just ask for a lip-to-lip taste, and he'd indulge you without a second thought.
you twist the cigarette butt between your fingers so that he can see the remnants of faint strawberry pink on the edges. he just rolls his eyes with a loud huff, leaning his weight back on his heels and shoving his hands in his pant pockets.
"yeesh. you're such a goody two shoes, y'know? how come shoko's allowed to smoke 'n i'm not?" he drawls, an arrogant lilt to his voice as he sticks his lower lip out. you can see a matte spot where the gloss had been transferred to the cigarette paper. you just sigh exasperatedly (he feels like a kid when you do that) and lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees. his jacket bunches up in your lap.
you tap the cigarette to his chest a few times; it makes a soft thumping sound against the fabric, and for a moment he's grateful of the noise; it sounds just like the way his heartbeat picks up with each touch, but you don't hear it. he wonders if you ever will. maybe one day, when there isn't so much distance between you and he has the opportunity to tuck your head to his chest, right over his heart.
"it's not that i care about the lung damage, idiot. why were you smoking?" you asked, voice softening. and he absolutely hates when you do that, because it always pulls on his heartstrings and brings a flush to his face, the way you treat him. he thought that if you did it enough, he'd be sent to the doctor for heart palpitations instead of a sweet tooth.
he doesn't answer you at that. how could he tell you, when he knew all that'd result from it was a thorn in his side? you, being the rose. so beautiful but awfully prickly and unfairly sour like a lemondrop with a sweet inside. then again, he'd much rather have your interrogating care than lose you, like what had happened with the reason he was trying out smoking in the first place.
then, it happenedâ your voice went unbearably soft, like puffy white covers and featherlight pillows with silk covers on a saturday morning, looking out the window to see pink tulips against a cloudy blue sky as the sun streamed in. it almost made him want to clutch your hand over his chest and see if you could feel the way he was reacting. no doubt, it was filled with such patient tenderness; all-encompassing sweetness it made him want to cry. so he coughed to cover it up, averting his gaze and bringing one hand to his face to absentmindedly smooth down the strands of damp white hair hanging over his eyes.
"thinkin' about suguru again, are you?" you asked gently, tucking the cigarette back into your pocketâyours, not hisâand reaching out to take his hand.
his lips parted ever so slightly, gaping like a goldfish. he knew he looked silly, and he should've been okay with thatâ because being vulnerable with you, out of everyone he ever knew (with maybe the exception of one) was easier than breathing; came more naturally to him than his gravitation to a challenge. the same could be said for sweets.
(maybe he'd have to re-evaluate his proclaimed taste, then. since you were more sour than sweet.)
but this time, he wasn't okay with it. it had been hard to talk about what had happened with suguru one year ago sinceâ it formed a nasty lump in his throat, bitter like black coffee and the wrong mix of herbs. it made him feel weak. reminding him of his shortcomings, which, in his mind, shouldn't even exist in the first place. but you never had a problem ripping his problems from the shielded cavity in his gut, bringing them under the operator's light to dissect and solve like a surgeon. forget about forcing him to the doctor'sâ at this point, you should be the one in the white coat, not shoko. he thinks about what you'd look like with blue gloves on your delicate fingers for a moment too long.
"what's it to you?" he snaps back after what feels like three years of his life. his fingers tighten around yours for a moment before he pulls his hand away abruptly.
the frown that lingered on your face from then on had been burned into his memory.
and, well, that was his mistake. it spiraled from thereâ because he knew what it was to you, and he hated that. hated that you could see straight through him like a cloud blue stained glass window; without rose colored lenses like the ones he always wore (the ones he rocked, he thinks).
a crack of thunder overhead jolts him from his thoughts; he couldn't even get in there to dust the spiderwebs away before being jerked back into reality. he clicks his tongue in disappointment, watching as the skies pry themselves open and rain begin to fall in the way it only did over heavy summer showers. he wishes the sky would stop its weeping, but even the strongest has his limitations.
but it doesn't matter. he has one of those cheap plastic umbrellas he'd bought from a convenience store one day in a late march many moons ago, during the brightest blue spring of his life. and so, he didn't understand why he was lingering at the door, swinging the umbrella around his fingers by the hook on the handle, watching as the rain fell with increased fervor. there was no plastic button to keep the folds tied up, so it floundered around with each swing like a tulip bent by monsoon winds. maybe on the coast of some faraway land with windmills and fields of flowers. he wonders if he'll ever get to see the world with you somedayâ a fleeting thought that crumbles instantly when he conjures your pretty face in his vision, clear yet distorted like a reflection on a glazed pond, rippling water from the dragonflies that skipped over the surface.
you were definitely still angry with him, because you hadn't showedâ normally, you'd walk home together. sometimes with shoko, if she didn't leave early. angry words echo in his mind, the image of your downturned lips swimming in his bright vision as he watches the rain streak down the window panes by the lockers. there's a fog settling over the grass outside that's sure to leave dew after the storm. he wonders when that'll be.
"why can't you ever take me seriously? can't you see i'm worried about you?"
"of course i can. but i don't need your damn concern!â
...
he'd been sorely mistaken, that was for sure. loosing his cool and snapping at you wasn't exactly something he took pleasure in, either way. he leans back on his heels, tapping his foot impatiently as he holds the umbrella like a cane against the floor. infinity could probably do away with the rain. another reason as to why he's not even sure why he's waiting here, or why he's holding an umbrella. perhaps to keep in case he has to offer it to some poor, shivering and cowering young maiden lost beneath the shading of a bus stop behind a curtain of rain droplets, with a charming grin and a wink.
maybe.
a shuffle behind him catches his ear; he turns his head, an unamused expression on his face as his eyes drift over the empty room to land on you. the shadows beneath your eyes are prominent, and your hair is unkempt. there are sleep lines on your face; you probably fell asleep in a classroom somewhere, which is why you delayed.
it was evident you weren't expecting to see him, thoughâ with the way your eyes widened a little before they dropped again, nose bridge wrinkling slightly as if you'd caught the scent of something unpleasant. your eyes left his, and he felt a little disappointed as he watched them wander toward the window, where the current downpour was prominent. he didn't like the way it made his chest pang when your attention was anywhere but him, so he raised his hand lazily, tilting his head to catch your attention that he so clearly craved.
"yo. got an umbrella?" he calls, tapping the tip of his budget cane on the floor. the thud is the only sound for a while as your gaze wanders back over to him; reluctant.
"no, i don't. i didn't expect it to rain so hard today." you responded quietly, stepping over to him with a small sigh. almost a little resigned, he thinks. he can't be sure, though. he never is with you. doesn't know whether to expect his candy to be sour in the center or the other way around; but maybe he likes a bit of uncertainty every once in a while. (not with you, though. if it means arguing? never with you.)
his sunglasses are hooked around the collar of your shirt. he doesn't know why it takes him so long to realize, but when he does, he has to clear his throat in an effort to hide the heat on his face and do away with the blush. "here. take mine. i don't need it," he says curtly, offering his umbrella to you. he wants to snatch the shades from your shirt, but he doesn't want anything to go wrong, so he just eyes them warily, careful not to let his gaze slip past into anything you'd be pissed at him for.
you eye him, eyes narrowed as you raise an eyebrow, but you don't protest. your fingers brush against his for a brief moment when you take it, shaking it a little before opening the door and stepping outside, opening it up. it looks like a little clear plastic mushroom cap over your head; you're short enough to constitute as the stalk in his eyes. it's a little funny, but he has to stifle the laugh bubbling on his tongue lest you think he's making a mock of you.
he follows after you, slipping past to stand at your side with his hands in his pockets. you can't help but feel a little curious despite your prolonged anger (you like holding grudges, he knows), so you sneak a glance upward to satiate your wonder. you don't expect him to look as breathtaking as he does.
the clouds are light overhead; they're not a heavy blanket of gray anymore, and a small strip of light manages to push through, shining on satoru's pale white hair. you can make out the edge of his undercut against his neck when the wind picks up a little, the color of fluffy white clouds on a lavender sunset with the sway of yellow flowers beneath an expanse of a bright sky. there's a little cat hair on the collar of his jacket; you realize with a faint flush that it must've been from when you were holding his jacket for him in the gym. somehow, the cat you have at home found its way to satoru. you hope your pet has become a matchmaking fortune teller, for the sake of your happiness.
what catches your eye the most, though, isn't the cat hair on his dark jacket or the faraway look in his misty blue eyes; it's the outline of rain water around him, a product of his infinity, you realize. he's dry underneath the downpour, and it never ceases to amaze you. it's like there's a soft glowing halo against the backdrop of tangled wires, gray walls and pale green bushesâ he looks like an angel boy, school bag hooked and hanging over one shoulder.
eventually, you manage to peel your gaze away, and he noticesâ looks down at you, pressing his lips together and running his tongue over them. he can taste strawberry gloss.
wordlessly, you start walking. and he follows suit, rain bouncing off of him; you catch yourself sneaking glances from under the roof of your clear umbrella between raindrops that slide down the clear plastic. sometime during the walk home, he had gone off and gotten himself a drink from a nearby vending machineâ the red can catches your eye, and your fingers curl around the rubber handle of the lent umbrella as you watch him drink; the bob of his adam's apple before he crushes the can up and tosses it into a nearby bush, causing a brief scattering of leaves and a downpour of collecting droplets onto the pavement.
despite the rain, the weeds between the cracks in the sidewalk still stay strong; they have deep roots. much like the way you never fail to scowl at him for littering. he catches itâ of course he does. he's been praying for a sign you're not still so hopelessly angry with him that you can't even bring yourself to have a civil walk in the summer rain together. after the scowl, though, comes the smileâ the one that always makes him melt in his shoes, much like the sunshine after the rain.
and there it is at last, he thinks. the hard sour coating melts away on his tongue, draining the taste of lemon to reveal a sweet, genuine center. all it takes is time. your lips curve up, and you duck your head, hiding the small bemused laugh that leaves you breathless.
"what are you laughin' at?" he huffs, glaring down at you. but there's no malice behind itâ if only you could feel the wave of relief that's washed over him, a crest of white foam that leaves behind still waters reflected in the pools of sapphire in his eyes. nothing like the hit of numbing nicotine he'd shared in the shade of an alleyway with shoko earlier that dayâ away from the sun; away from you. hidden from both. or maybe they were the sameâ to him, he couldn't differentiate.
"i'm not laughing!" you protested weakly, immediately wiping the grin from your lips, and he regrets speaking up. "just.. i dunno."
you walk in silence for a little longer, content to listen to the rain lighten up overhead. satoru kicks a plastic onigiri wrapper out of the way, splashing up a puddle as a frown dampens his face when the wrapping only clings to his shoes. he's fine with getting a little grumpy if it means seeing you smile again. and even better, you laugh againâ so sweet, like the chiming of bells in the wind's melody.
"please don't do that again." your voice sounds so very small when he hears it again, and he looks down at you from beneath long white lashes, the corner of his lips quirked up. the shape of them is almost cat-like, you think. he doesn't even know what you're talking aboutâ a vague idea, at bestâ but he won't do it. not if it means hearing you sound so pathetically... sad. he doesn't like it. it's far too bitter for his taste. let the black betta you both used to know indulge in dark coffee and bitter cologneâ satoru likes things sweet, like the cream surrounded by tea leaf matcha in the center of his mochi and fluttering feeling he gets when you run your hands through his hair, fluffing it up to your heart's content.
(as long as your heart is happy, his is, too.)
"i won't. happy now?" he sticks his tongue out, making a face. but you both know he means itâ he hates breaking his promises to you. you smile when you look up at him again with a small nod, and he feels his knees wobble a little. he just hopes you don't notice. "sorry for lying. i just.. don't like it when you're mad at me. and you look at me like that," he mumbles under his breath, bunching up the fabric of his pants between his fingers. then, after a moment, "geez, you're so dramatic. quit carin' so much." he really hopes you don't stop, and it makes him feel like the world's biggest hypocrite. the strongest, but so weak for you.
"sorry, can't. the day you stop crushing your soda cans and littering is the day i'll stop caring, 'cus that won't be my satoru anymore." you tease. and he laughs, throwing his head back so you don't see the red that spreads across his cheeks, dusting his skin like powdered sugar on top of a strawberry crepe. he always wants to be your satoru, so he figures he'll keep littering. a few money fines here and there mean nothing to his undentable wallet, or the erratic beating of his heart, trapped against his ribcage in a feathery blooming of flowers he only gets from you and your pretty smile underneath the layer of lemony sourness.
you walk along the road for a little while longer. the rain has lightened, but it's still goingâ incessant, dripping from the leaves of trees and the knotted black wires overhead. he still has his infinity up, which means he can't pet the cat the two of you spot on your way back, but he's perfectly content to watch you do it. you scratch its chin, smiling at the way it purrs and nuzzles into your hand, and he wonders if he'd do the same if he was in its position.
he's lost in thought when you speak to him again, shoes splashing against murky puddles in the backdrop of a never-sleeping city; tokyo's bright skyline always makes your eyes go round with wonder. you say something, and he chuckles, warm and velvety. and then you realize what's been off with him this whole timeâ he doesn't have his shades on.
you slip them off the collar of your shirt, smoothing down the fabric before you reach over and attempt to nudge his arm. you don't think it'll work, because he still has his infinity upâ and your sleeves are already getting spattered by rain that leaves darkened wet spots on the cotton. but to your amazement, your fingers make contact with his sleeve, and you watch in wonder as the rain actually fallsâ soaks into that little patch of wet fabric that you're able to feel on his arm. that he's turned his infinity off in that one spot so you could touch him. you spare a glance up at him, only to find his head angled away from you. you might be hallucinating, but the tips of his ears seem red.
you don't linger on it before you're tugging on his shirt with a frown, getting him to look down at you as you unfold his glasses and offer them over to him. he takes them quickly, and you don't miss the way the rain stops falling onto his arm again, back to bouncing off the invisible shield that protects him from everything (but you, it seems). he slips his dark shades back over his eyes, obscuring oceans of pure blue that seem like they've trickled in from the purest snowcaps on the distant mountains dotted with old red tori gates and shrines with scrapped paint. but you can't stifle the smile that spreads across your lips this timeâ giddy and fresh and filled with youth, blossoming like sakura petals in a spring that seems so far away yet so close with his presence by your side.
you don't say anything for a while. you're content to watch the rain wash down the pavement and into the gutters, past cute little coffee shops and parks with ponds as the droplets from the sky scatter the water in part of a never-ending cycle; watering the surface of the earth and bringing life that would soon spring up as shroomcaps and fresh dew on the clean cut green grass. you wonder what satoru sees through his lensesâ though, you already know. you've worn them plenty of times before, when he insists on having your perfume cling to the frame for long missions he's sent on alone, when he can't have you hold his jacket, or his hand, or scold him for sneaking a smoke when you're not watching. that, and the extra lemondrops he keeps in his pocket; gifts from you that he's fought hard for.
you're more prepared to not feel any interference of his infinity this time when you reach over, and this time you don't go for his sleeveâyanking him close to you by his hand and forcing him beneath your umbrella. you feel the way he freezes up for a moment, but his fingers fill in the gaps between your own like its the most natural thing in the world, palms pressed together in a little breathless hug that leaves no room for the humid air.
"don't waste your infinity on the rain, dumbass. you'll fry what little is left of your brain." you scold him, and he just grumbles and scoffs angrily under his breath, cursing you as he hunches over and ducks his head to fit under the umbrella to negate his height. his hair brushes against the plastic roof of the umbrella, and his lanky limbs are still awkwardly sticking out, but his fingers tighten around yours and his thumb rubs over your knuckles, still a little damp from your earlier encounter with the rain, and you can't help but smile a smile bright enough to wash away every last bit of cloud in the sky. his personal sunshine.
even though he still prefers sweet things, satoru's come to like the taste of lemondrops. sweet and sour go well together, after all. just like you and him.
its okay if it doesnt taste like anything to u as long as u enjoyed it :) thanks for reading !! the black betta in question is suguru btw my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !