Oh Also In Case Anyone Was Wondering, They Said That If I'm That Ungrateful Then I Deserve To Go Back

Okay so yesterday I saw someone mention that during the two months that I was away they started selling lime and chili flavoured yoghurt back in Ukraine. I repeat, LIME AND CHILI.

Obviously I had to task my boyfriend with acquiring it so that I can try it the moment I step off the train at the end of the month. Also, obviously, I googled it. Here's what I saw:

Okay, sure. Some choices have been made with the colours (I find the purple atrocious but I'm not good with colours so who knows). But wait, the "flamin' hot" banner reminds me of something. Haven't I seen it before?

Yep. I looked it up - Чудо and Doritos are both owned by PepsiCo, and PepsiCo straight up recycled the Flamin' Hot banner.

I really, really don't know what to make of this.

Also as I type this I realised that they also recycled the fucking horrible purple colour. This is torture.

At the end of the month I'm trying the Doritos-flavoured yoghurt, apparently. Watch this space for a review.

Okay so uh this double breached containment and I'm really really scared because this was my second post on Tumblr dot com out of the two I made in total and now it has like 650 notes so I hope it'll make you guys happy to see my flatmate's mug that has The Phrase on it.

Bonus: the other side that says "what did I do to deserve this".

One of the biggest issues of moving to England as a person who is Ukrainian AND neurodivergent is not knowing how to answer the small talk question of "how are you", but today I was reminded that Ukrainian blessed me with the phrase that roughly translates as "living is hard but dying would be a pity" and can we please naturalise it so I can use it all day every day

Followed a Wikipedia source in hopes of finding something useful for my essay about Kafka's Metamorphosis and stumbled upon something much better

Tumblr seems fond of the Ukrainian "living is hard, dying would be a pity", so here's another part of Ukrainian vernacular that you guys might also like. This one is new and developed in 2022.

I would like to introduce it to you in the following context: it was August 2022, I returned to Ukraine for the first time since evacuating in March and was going through baby's first in a while air raid (in Odesa). I texted my best friend, who never left Kyiv, saying that I'm scared to go to sleep in case I wake up having died of a missile or whatever. She put on her very best Yoda face and bestowed upon me the following:

"1. Їбане так їбане." (Yibane tak yibane).

Now, this is extremely hard to explain, but I will try, to the best of my ability.

So, the basic meaning of it is: "If it strikes, it strikes". However, the verb for "strike" here is derived from the profane root word which basically means "to fuck". So a closer stylistic choice would be, "If it fucks you up, it fucks you up", or "If your ass gets struck, your ass gets struck". This is usually spoken before the person decides to ignore the air raid, set aside the feeling of impending doom and go to sleep.

That wasn't the end:

"2. І взагалі навряд чи їбане. (But in general it probably won't.)

3. Але якщо їбане - так їбане. (But if it strikes, then it strikes)."

That night I slept like a baby and didn't, in fact, wake up dead.

So if you are currently dealing with the impending doom around horrors you have no control over, take the wisdom of Ukrainians who have been grappling with horrors beyond comprehension for over three years now (some longer):

Їбане так їбане.

І взагалі навряд чи їбане.

Go to sleep.

The same "he". To me

He died doing what he loved. Being fatally injured.

Seeing a coworker/classmate sitting to the side and reading a book while on their break and then coming up to them and asking "what are you reading" should be illegal actually

I debated posting this on here because this sounds SO MUCH like a Tumblr fake story from 2012 that I don't think anyone will believe me but I promise you, before we get into this, that it did happen and not a single person clapped.

One of my origin stories as the person I currently am is going to appeal my results for a English language competition in like 10th grade (of Ukrainian school, so ~15 yo) because most of the marks I was deducted was because of my handwriting (hi undiagnosed dysgraphia) and them being unable to decipher what I wrote. So I come, the examiner and I sit at a desk and go through all my "mistakes", and she goes:

"See? You said "we don't know of it". It should be "about"."

And I swear to you, I went:

"Actually, Shakespeare used "of" in "Hamlet". "And makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others that we know not of"."

And then I pulled up the poetry foundation with To Be or Not To Be, showed it to her and she gave me the fucking point, too stunned to speak.

I had learned TBONTB by heart by reading it out loud to myself in the dark in my room at night multiple times in a row because I have always been sane and was never autistic actually.

It's such a loss that I wasn't on Tumblr as a teenager. I was grown in a lab to have a Tumblr blog that I will regret when I'm older.

Studying English as a second language my whole life literally ruined learning any other languages for me. I just googled the verb form "ignoren" in Spanish and saw that it was second person plural imperative and I went 'hm, second person plural? that's weird' and then remembered that MY NATIVE LANGUAGE FUCKING HAS SECOND PERSON PLURAL I USE IT DAILY