Hornyhandmetaphors - Untitled

Touch starvation is no longer a problem all I have to do is press my teacup to my face and its almost like the warmth of a hand. 

i know hearing people on this website love to pass around those posts with links to free sign language lessons but you know you need to actually put effort into learning about Deaf culture, too, right?

On the journey to getting better but I am gonna complain about it the whole way through 

pioneering something called "gritted teeth optimism" where everything is gonna turn out okay even if i have to bite and claw and gnash my way through it

"Who Is Superman? A Private Interview with Lois Lane" a fancomic about hope and connection. I've had this story in mind for so long and I'm very excited to be able to share it at last. Thank you for reading, and happy Lunar New Year!

HANDS

When hands are used to depict longing and desperation

Yeah that's the good stuff 

Also. Kendrick opened with an unapologetically loud performance focused on Black America with a ton of political messaging. And the women sang “someone better squabble” in almost a mocking tone?? Because so many white Americans only know Kendrick from the Drake beef, and they’re there to see two black men fight, not a celebration of Black Culture.

The american flag literally dissolved into depictions of violence and shooting. And then, once the performers were united in sync again, the audience flashed “WARNING, WRONG WAY”

That has so many meanings, both in the context of the performance being about politics and the path America as a whole is going down—the wrong way.

But also in that specific moment, when black men were working together as a whole, America would rather see them fighting. After that section is over, Uncle Sam mocks Kendrick.

Once the performance turns into a pop song Uncle Sam says, “yeah, that’s what I’m talking about! That’s what America wants—nice and calm! You’re almost there. Don’t mess this-“ and he is cut off by Not Like Us starting. White America is content to watch Black artists as long as the art is palatable to them, but Kendrick disrupted that with the Drake beef, and white America watched because it glorifies violence between black men.

But Kendrick emphasizes that this is not what this performance is about. When asked if he’s really about to do this, he says “It’s a cultural divide, Imma get it on the floor.” And “40 acres and a mule, this is bigger than the music.” He is doing this for Black America. Not Like Us has brought folks together when America has tried its hardest to divide and conquer. Hell, Kendrick had Crips and Bloods dancing on stage together at a concert. He’s managed to work through centuries of oppression and trauma to bring Black America together in this moment. This is bigger than the music.

And he brings it back to politics with “yeah, they tried to rig the game, but you can’t fake influence.” There’s a reason he said that with the president in the audience. Kendrick had the biggest stage in the world and he used it to say “They Not Like Us” with the president, a known child predator, in the audience. And the rest of the crowd was screaming the lyrics along with Kendrick.

Kendrick Lamar the man you are

i'm going to listen to the album of the artist you like even though he's not really my vibe. i'm going to read the book you suggested even though it's not a genre i usually enjoy. i'll watch the show. i will try the recipe. i will play the video game, or at least watch a deep-dive youtube explaining the really-long lore so i have some idea of what's happening. the movie you suggested is too scary for me, but - i mean, the wikipedia page is kind of interesting - look at the length of the section Controversy.

this is not a burden. i think maybe "burden" and "love" might be oppositional, the way sometimes "love" and "hate" are not opposites. a burden is a dragging. i love you because you brought me to the water, and it is the horizon of your heart. i love you because of your nervous pacing around the edges of the rabbit hole.

often you are right. some songs on that album remind me of the spark in your eyes. the book was really thought-provoking.

more i just want to understand enough that you can talk to me. that you can explain, in depth, why it matters that wheat has shallow roots. i love you, even platonically - your love of this thing leaks into me. i watch you, cautious and dancing, the shy desire for you to smear the colors of this thing into my life, too.

they are your colors, though. of course i want them here, in the marginalia of my life. you matter to me. i want them to crowd the little moments of my day. i want your fingerprints scattered throughout the rooms of my heart.

one time i spent about six months reading and researching a particular author, just so i could talk to one of my friends about him. i never got the chance. she betrayed me, broke my trust, and sided with her abusive ex-boyfriend. standing in the sodden floodplain of what she left over, some bitter part of me asked - isn't that tragic? you have all this knowledge and nothing to do with it.

but i did have all that knowledge, though. when i reach for it, i still feel it glow.

I've been thinking about my cousin lately. She killed herself in December and she was someone I thought I would get to grow old together with. It feels strange that I have to divide my time from before and after her. I haven't told some of my friends because as little as they know about her there is a version of her still alive in their minds. One day they will ask me how she is and I'll have to tell them the news, but until that day she is alive. She is alive and she is trying to push me off the slide.

I can be so normal about that very inconsequential topic brought up in conversation 

Maybe if I loved you a little less then part of you would still be here