“I’m Numb And Alone. What I Want More Than Anything Is To Feel Something And Have Someone. But I

im sorry to everyone who has ever tried to talk to me and then realized my communication skills are equivalent to a stale piece of bread

I’m on probation but too mentally Fukt to even consider staying completely sober so I think I might’ve failed my last drug test n my PO isn’t responding to my email so. Idk I’m kinda planning on killing myself as soon as things start going south lol

hey love,

noooo love. killing yourself won’t solve anything, i know it seems like a nice exit sign, but please don’t follow it. okay so once i wanted to kill myself and the person i confided in told me something that had me a little shook; she told me  “is that what you really want people to think of you? people who said you were fucked up, crazy, you want to just be an other story they’ll get to share about how odd you were and then you killed yourself? prove them wrong, prove every single one of these assholes wrong”

and yep. it’s still one of the reasons why i’m here. prove them wrong. get your act together, sober, and try to be better. i believe you can, i know it’s not easy, but i have faith in you my love. you can get through this. take it one day at the time

xx

Coming to the conclusion that nobody actually wants me or needs me. I’m unimportant and invisible. I’ll soon disappear and everything will still be the same it’ll be better for everyone, the good thing about people not caring about me

you can still radiate light if you’re sad. you can still be kind and soft-hearted if you’re a bit cynical. you don’t need to be the happiest person to make someone else’s day better.

All my friends are on t.v

Not to sound to conceited

They don’t know my name

They don’t know me by face

But we’re as close as blood clots

Under the skin of aging hands

And as tight as 4c coiled hair curls

I have never fit in totally ever

Different aspects of myself connected

With entire peoples characters

I never had the chance to 100% me

At all

But my friends on tv they are exactly like me

I can relate to them and them to me

They bring me on adventures

Take me out drinking past my curfew

And invite me in the room when they make love

They are my closet friends,

All from different groups and channels

And I like it that way

Because they can never let me down

They can never get tired of me or use me

I accept them and in return they let me in

In a way no one has ever done

And isn’t that what friends are for?

do people miss me I can’t imagine myself as a person others think about

“I don’t know why I have to stay alive if i’m going to live forever sad…”

—

“those who don’t have a dream, it’s okay. it’s okay if you don’t have a dream. you just have to be happy“