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Duck tape wisard!

Thinking about a duct tape wizard

it just now dawned on me that all Those Windows in the mystery shack are not some clever background design choices, or funny haha easter eggs, or visual puns, or chekhov's guns

that is a house Ford in-universe canonically built with his own hands.

he. he made those.

My dad's a pastor and I'm so tempted to send it to him but I do this think he'd get it

my most controversial batman opinion to date

ok, fake cryptid batfam is feeding me so well right now

like “the rumor around gotham is that a Bat watched the night” type

Bruce meets the JL and they all think hes some sort of meta when in actuality they could probably kill him with no sweat if he was unarmed

Bruce taking every precaution to make sure they keep thinking that way

Robin gets introduced as Bruce’s son/fellow cryptid and they all collectively freak out bc “HOLY SHIT THERES ANOTHER ONE???”

Bruce having to make up some bullshit excuse for why Robin is a child and going around fighting crime (some excuse like: ACTUALLY he’s technically a thousand years old, so this is fine)

the rest of the batfam shows up with just elaborate fucking backstories all based in the original story that bruce made up

dick’s robin retires?

no worries, jason says, he’s currently waiting on his metamorphosis bc their species has to go through that before becoming an adult

jason dies but the backstory was that they were immortal?

no problem, tim explains that sometimes their species goes dormat because they’ve lost too much energy

they acquire steph, but only for a few days?

no worries, bruce explains, sometimes their species goes under shifting to find the right body

one of the ones that I read had Bruce using and recorder and faking having 2 hearts, which Clark could hear, and when the recorder broke, to bring in Robin and explain that Dick was his 2nd heart splitting off of him (The Hearts of Gotham by schrijverr on ao3)

another one was literally batfam pretending to be slightly human versions of the animals they were named after and kon, being desperately in love with tim as he does, decides to uses ttk to create and shape wildly expensive gems and diamonds for tim because he thinks that “birds like shiny things, right?” (tim is rightly very worried that kon, in his dumbassery, decided to make large enough diamonds to completely dismantle the industry) and clark is later shown these diamonds, also very worried about the sheer enormity of these gems (‘a fake cryptid and a real romantic’ series by suzukiblu on ao3)

another one had batfam using engineered wings for fight and flight and their wings were a perfect complement to their costumes

clark meets tim without wings and is freaking out because holy shit he has no wings did he rip them off where are they??

batfam bonds through wing painting and fixing and the jl is in awe of them and their wings

best part is most of batfam does not realize that jl thinks their wings are very real and not mechanics and only realize when one of the younger ones ask abt them (Loading and Aspect Ratio by JUBE514 on ao3)

plz plz plz give me more recs bc i love this trope so muchhh

I was telling my friends about this a few days ago I guess it was fate that I found the post again

“Alexandria’s Genesis, a.k.a violet eyes (a genetic mutation).

When someone is born with Alexandria’s Genesis, their eyes are blue or gray at birth. After six months, the eyes begin to change from their original color to purple, and this process lasts six months. During puberty, the color deepens to dark purple, a deep purple, a royal purple, or a violet-blue color and remains that way. It does not affect the person’s eyesight. Those who have this mutation will never grow any facial, body, pubic, or anal hair (not including hair on their head, on their ears, noses, eyebrows and eyelashes). Women also do not menstruate, but are fertile”

Yes, just yes

I just want madness for the Batpham. Like picture Danny just being a friend of one of the Bats (Tim, Damien, Jason, etc.) and being invited to their house. When he's invited to his house, he was just in time for a meal. And it was a full house, so Danny was able to meet all of the family and was surprised by the amount of black haired and blue eyed people at the table. Dinner goes on and Bruce is the last one to join the family for dinner. (Whether it was because of Bat business or Wayne business is unseen.)

So he sits down and enjoys dinner with his family, talking to everyone and asking how all of their days were.

It wasn't until a few minutes after that he notices an extra head at the table and, seeing as Danny fits the description of his robins, just panics that he might of forgotten about a child. EXTRA: The robins going along with it and gaslighting Bruce into thinking Danny was their brother and Bruce had forgotten about him.

The story of the Australian white ibis is hysterical in many ways.

These birds are native to Australia, yes, but they're not technically native to the cities. Or, well, kinda?

So, Australian ibises typically lived in inland wetland areas. Australia, however, is a dry-ass continent, and the swamps aren't always wet, so whenever there's a dry spell and the swamps dry up and the food dwindles, the ibis colonies will migrate to the coast for food. I suppose when their presence caused enough competition with existing coastal birds they'd fly back inland and hopefully the wetlands would be wet again.

Enter the Europeans - the ibis didn't have much contact with the white man for a hundred years or so, wetlands were too annoying to actively clear, so the white man mostly stayed out and the ibis generally doesn't leave while there's food. Or maybe they did, and the white man towns were too tiny to register for them and they just did their usual thing.

Come the 1970s, severe drought conditions once again led to ibises to flee the wetlands (and the wetlands were probably extra hurt and extra unable to recover due to water diversion for agriculture).

They went for the coasts, and there, due to the absolutely boom in Australian urban sprawl, they found....

Huh. That's new. But was there food?

The answer was yes there was, and not only that, it was almost like the food set out specifically for them!

I am of course talking about bins.

Bins have a couple of nifty features if you're an ibis. One, they contain food scraps, especially protein scraps. Two, the openings tend to be fairly far off the ground, so rats and other flightless creatures can't get to the food (the cockroaches can, which is a plus for the ibis because they eat bugs!)

Two, the bottoms are low, and ibises are wading birds so they have long legs and long beaks. Seagulls, crows and pigeons all have to wait for the bin to be fairly full - ibises can get in there at half full!

And three, natural environment for the ibis is diving into a fetid stagnant swamp with nasty bacteria to eat wriggling things. Their beaks and heads are specially adapted for that - they're bald, and the skin is specially adapted for diving into gross places. Their beaks are sharp and dextrous, so they can open packaging or simply pierce it to get at the tasty, tasty leftover fried chicken or whatever. And if the chicken's already got maggots? Fantastic, they love eating bugs.

So they don't wanna go back. Why the hell would they go back? And with every new drought, even more ibis leave the drying wetlands, find the cities, and decide to stay.

I mean, there's probably a selection effect - the birds that are scared of humans eventually return to their home wetlands, but the ones that aren't decide they're just gonna start nesting in the urban parks. Wetlands are also getting drier and drier (water use issues) so the wetland populations are crashing while the urban populations are exploding.

I think, the bin chicken has to be a symbol of luck. It is so insane to me that the human-designed environment ended up being an ibis paradise, where we've systematically murdered all their enemies and established abundant self-replenishing food sources that they and only them can access.

May you be as lucky as the Australian white ibis. May you leave your normal life for foreign shores and face not the expected adversity, but instead abundance and safety beyond your wildest dreams.

Goncharov broke containment.