What Are Your Self-sabotaging Habits?
What are your self-sabotaging habits?
After MUCH self-reflection, I have realized that I have several things that I do that have led to me sabotaging myself. I doubt myself at every turn, I compare myself to other, and I never follow through for many things.
And if that isn't the holy trinity of a sure way to fail, I don't know what is.
For some reason, every time I start to think of the future or even think of starting a relationship with someone, doubt is the first thing that creeps into my mind. There's a really good job that I want to transition to? NOPE, they would never hire me. You really want to be in a relationship with that guy you really like? NOPE, he is only using you and wants someone skinnier. I don't know why my brain is set up to automatically put me down but that is something I am unlearning. As soon as any inkling of self-doubt starts creeping in I try to nip it in the bud. Because the first thing you learn when manifesting is that there should be no doubt, whatever I want is already mine. Why wouldn't I be able to start a new job? They would be lucky to have someone with so many transferable skills. Why wouldn't a man I am talking to want to get in a relationship? They would be lucky to have someone like me with so much love to give.
Something else I have had to unlearn is to stop comparing myself to others. I was busy trying to survive and I'm finally at a place where I know I can do so much more with my life. I love my friends and family and want nothing but the best for them but I find myself wishing I was at the same place in life they're currently at. Or even seeing someone on the street and wishing I looked like them. Comparison is the root of all my evils and I'm trying my best to celebrate myself everyday instead of trying to fix myself. I have many flaws but I am perfect the way I am. I would not change anything about me because it made me the person I am today. I am so much more compassionate, loving, and understanding because of the live I have been dealt and I am better for it.
Finally, another habit I am trying to break is building positive habits and actually sticking to them. Like eating healthier, keeping my spaces clean, keeping up with schoolwork, or even working out consistently. These are all things I have struggled with in the past but I am determined to be different this year. I am only 31 and I have so much life left and I don't want to spend it wondering "what if?" I had just stuck to my goals. Because "what if it all works out?"
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Day 15:
How do you deal with criticism?
It truly depends on whether the criticism is constructive or destructive. If I am in a work or school setting and someone is correcting something that I've done or giving helpful tips, I appreciate it to my core. And that is because I am a firm believer in always learning and if I am doing something wrong, I will never know until someone comes along to help. In essence, I welcome constructive criticism when it comes from a good place.
On the other side of that coin, there is destructive criticism which I will cry in private about later. These are instances when someone will acknowledge something I am self-conscious about in a negative way. Not to sound like a broken record but I am bigger and overall I am considered fat, so when someone criticizes me based on size, food, looks, etc. it truly does hurt. I will act like it does not bother me but deep down it shatters me. I am trying to hard to find self-love and to love the body that I am in and all it takes is a couple words to set back that progress.
Day 5:
In what ways are you inauthentic?
In most parts of my life, to be quite honest. There is so much that I put a front on for or just flat out lie about that sometimes it becomes too much. I lie about money, I lie about how I’m doing, and I lie about how I feel about myself and others.
Most days I agree to things because I don’t like the feeling of being left out but I literally can’t afford it. I’m too embarrassed to admit that I’m struggling right now. I need to start saying no.
I lie about how other actions don’t affect me. I lie because I don’t want them to know how much they’ve hurt me. My emotions have always been a touchy subject for me and that is something that I am working on as well. I need to learn how to express myself in a healthy way.
'Titania' from 'Typical Tales of Fancy, Romance and History' from Shakespeare's Plays by Alfred Fredericks, 1892.
I have prayed so loud my voice is hoarse
I wonder if He heard?
Does He know that the louder I scream
The more I retreat?
Where do my words go when I
Beg Him for help?
The last time I spoke
I whispered
and he disappeared.
Day 1:
How does the feeling of envy show up in your life?
For me, envy shows up in the sense of self-doubt. I will look at someone's life and what they have and compare it to what I do not have or how I do not look. I will look at strangers and friends and wish that what they had was me. I will look at someone happy in their career, happy in their body, or happily in love and seethe with envy.
It always comes down to, why not me? Why am I stuck in a rut that I can't climb out of? Why are good things in life never in the cards for me?
I am always stuck in a poor me cycle and I am realizing that I am blinded by the fact that I am getting in the way of my own happiness. My negative thoughts have encompassed my life for as long as I can remember I quite simply do not know how to be anything else. But I am tired, I am tired of being someone hoping and wishing from the sidelines, and have decided to take my fate into my own hands.
I will be the catalyst of change in my life and I will shed the skin I have conformed to and start anew.
Healing is difficult and facing my trauma is one of the things that I have dreaded the most in my life but the generational curse ends with me.
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howamisolucky reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
Just a girl trying to fix her life one sad post and self-help video at a time. I have favorited way too many videos on Tik Tok that are supposed to change and I have finally decided that it is time to turn my life around. This page is so that I can stay accountable. Best, Lucky.
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