Ever Since I Watched 'lily Sunder Has Some Regrets' Again I Haven't Been Able To Stop Thinking About

Cas: is gone

Sam: keeps it together so that Dean doesn't fall apart

Dean: falls apart

Dean Winchester & hug dynamic analysis

I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.

Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:

The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.

(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)

Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)

I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.

Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).

He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".

In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.

So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.

This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).

I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).

And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language:

the confession scene being in the dungeon is so fucked and meta because destiel was always supernatural’s Thing We Don’t Talk About™️ and you weren’t supposed to open that can of worms but it’s finally out in the open after 12 long years but it’s NOT because it only exists in that dark and barren dungeon where dean is loved and cas is happy for one fleeting moment because then cas is gone and dean is crying on the dungeon floor and that’s it. he never talks about it. he leaves the dungeon and locks the door behind him. their love forever imprisoned by who the fuck knows and it never sees the light of day.

Sam, at the wedding reception: Hey everyone, wanna play a game?

Jack: Sure. What game?

Sam: It’s called “Castiel Or Baby”. I tell you things Dean has said, and you have to guess if he said it to him or the impala.

Mary: This doesn’t sound hard at all

Sam: You sure? Quote one: “I would die for you.”

All the wedding guests:

Bobby, under his breath: Fuck

i love that skepticalfrog post where dean realizes cas is just Some Guy to literally everyone else and then he has to chew on some leather [ID in alt]

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thinking abt this one post someone made a while back abt stanford era dean having a kid and the mom doesn’t want to be involved so dean raises the baby and it’s his ticket out of hunting and i can’t find the post now but like literally !! dean’s hanging around some town for a few months, ends up having a casual thing with some girl and she gets pregnant and dean’s like “omg i’ll stay. i’ll marry you. whatever please” bc he’s so desperate for an excuse to stop hunting and so desperate to have a family again and matter to someone but the girl is like “that’s sweet but i’m not interested in a long term relationship sorry” and dean’s like “ok ok but we can be friends and i’ll be here to help you raise the baby” and she’s like :/ “actually i was thinking of adoption” and he’s like “what. no let me raise the baby. i’m good with kids i practically raised my brother” so. they do that. he sticks around throughout the pregnancy and ghosts john and stops hunting and then she has the baby and is like, “well, bye” so he leaves with this little baby, in the impala (which he modified the seats for so he could install a carseat) and they’re on the road together and it’s rough at first, they’re in and out of motels but he feels like he has a purpose ! and he loves his kid so much and then eventually they end up at bobby’s and he opens the door and dean just holds up his baby and says “hey gramps!” in a little baby voice while waving the baby’s hand. bobby is like “what in the hell” and “where’d you get a baby ya idjit?” but then he sees the baby’s eyes and liddol nose and they’re dean’s eyes and nose and bobby takes off his baseball cap and starts crying. so dean and liddol baby move in and dean works in the scrapyard and later gets a job at a diner or something and bobby dotes on his grandbaby and eventually dean meets a nice gas ‘n’ sip cashier with the bluest eyes in the whole world and he mends things with sam by breaking the ice with a pic of his baby like “hey uncle sam” and dean’s family is complete and john never gets to meet the kid 

The digital remastered versions' greatest sin is that the new aspect ratio cuts off the shot of their hands halfway and you can’t fully see him literally CRADLING her injured hands. So here you go. Brb going to stare at this forever.

clingy couple (relax guys nobody is taking the angel/righteous man from you)