I Think A Destiel Kiss Would Have Absolutely Ruined Dean. Like. Dean Thinks He’s This Broken, Messed

I think a destiel kiss would have absolutely ruined Dean. Like. Dean thinks he’s this broken, messed up, tortured, walking, breathing curse, and he’s in love with this guy who’s pure grace, literally angelic, and just so fucking good.

Dean’s fully convinced himself he shouldn’t have him. Even if he could—he shouldn’t.

And then Cas comes in, confesses on his death bed while portraying Dean in this holy light he doesn’t deserve and Dean’s heart is going a million beats a second, he’s looking at Cas, into him, over him, memorizing every angle, every breathe of air, and sigh. His throat isn’t working—his feet less so and none of it makes sense. It doesn’t make sense. Dean doesn’t deserve this-this love, this confession, these words—this absolute angel of a man saying them. He doesn’t deserve it.

If Cas had kissed him, I think Dean would’ve found something a lot like religion in it. Cas would taste like home. Like nectar, like forgiveness, like love. And if Dean, who prides on placing himself in front of violence, had tasted what it was like to be loved gently. I think. I think he’d go insane with it. Rip a part the universe insane.

Quite honestly, it would’ve broken the fabric of reality so i guess i understand why the writers decided not to.