You Gotta Write For Funsies Sometimes. Everything Doesn’t Have To Be Groundbreaking. Like. Who Cares

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

-[Missed!]-

Clark Kent has been ordered to go write a story about the "Most Haunted Town in America" from the Daily Planet. He broke a pretty big story on corrupt landlords, and Perry told him to go out of the city for a bit so that things can cool off.

He arrives at the town and immediately witnesses a Ghost Attack.

He also witnesses the local teenage hero prevent any civilian casualties or injuries, and only a little bit of property damage.

Clark is, honestly, super impressed.

There's just.

One little, tiny thing. It's bothering him,

The GIW.

There is no such thing as the Anti-Ecto Acts; Clark knows, he shot off a message to Bruce and Bruce confirmed it.

So instead of doing a fluff piece on Amity Park, Clark finds himself digging into a man called Vlad Masters, and what his connections are to the Mercenaries posing as government agents.

Because he's doing this whole thing as Clark Kent, he has to stay in his civilian persona.

This means that he's getting rescued by teen hero Phantom. Like, a lot.

Okay, Clark's not gonna lie. He's having fun.

This is fun.

~~~~~~

Danny, however, has never been so stressed in his entire life.

He's trying to save the nosy out-of-town reporter, who keeps getting attacked by Vlad's minions.

But every time he saves Mr. Kent, Mr. Kent congratulates him and like...grades him? Gives him pointers?

Danny doesn't know how to describe it, it feels like when his teachers are trying to teach him something after reading his assignment over his shoulder but he hasn't turned in the essay yet.

And Danny swears this guy is having fun.

~~~~~~

Vlad's had enough of this troublemaking reporter, and he's done sending out his minions to play.

He's going to handle this personally.

Dear everyone who is currently working on a Thing, whatever that Thing may be,

Good luck with the Thing. You can do the Thing. You will do the Thing. You just have to do the Thing.

Best wishes,

Someone who is also doing a Thing

Streamers say 'mods' the same way a medieval lord would say 'guards'

The Angry Robin

"Were very sorry sir. The children thought your people were from the government."

A small DP/DC promp

Casper high is on a field trip in Gotham.

Danny is in the team with Tucker, Kwan and Dash as most of the time.

They have a picture hunt around Gotham.

After a while they notice strange people in white following them. White jackets, black ties.

As Amity park kids the of course thought, these were GIW agents they don't know.

Everybody knows Danny is having to much ecto in his system. They sometimes see his eyes change color. No surprise if you think of the Fenton Parents lap safety.

So as the people get closer and one of them grabs Danny's arm. Dash hits him before they can speak.

They got in a big fight.

Penguin gets called cause his Goons are fighting a school class.

Things calm down quick as Oswald came. The Teacher told them to stop.

As he was talking to Mr. Lancer the Teacher said:" The children are very sorry. They thought your Henchpeople were part of the Government."

Penguins Goons are also very sorry:" We thought it was a Wayne kid."

Penguin has also some Questions in his head like: why would high school kids get into a fist fight with the Government?

And why did the Teacher think that was a reasonable explanation?

"I can’t write today. My desk isn’t clean. My vibes aren’t right. Mercury is in retrograde. I ate too much cheese. I haven’t suffered enough yet."

- Me

An alien race rallies before Earth, demanding to speak to Earth's "Protector". While all heroes are arguing about who, exactly, they are talking about, the aliens get impatient and broadcast an image of...Daniel Fenton.

Everyone is very confused.

The aliens are getting angry and impatient and not willing to answer questions. No one knows why they think Daniel Fenton is the "Protector of the Earth", except perhaps Daniel Fenton himself, who looks very embarrassed.

John Stewart picks him up and forces him to the WatchTower, so they can put an earpiece in his ear and instruct him on how to be a diplomat.

They have Fenton all set up, in front of the giant screen broadcasting his face to not only the aliens, but all of Earth.

Except.

The aliens are chattering amongst each other in their own language, and Fenton goes from looking nervous to looking pissed.

"Oh that's real fucking rich coming from a bitchass pussy that looks like three day old dog shit, come at me you stupid motherfu-"

Three things happen.

First, Flash snaps himself out of his stupor and slaps a hand over Fenton's mouth.

Second, Fenton's parents, who were waiting outside of the room, immediately start shouting at him about his language and how grounded he is.

Third, the aliens are bothering their translator, who is refusing to translate.

They have no idea how Fenton speaks the alien's language, and given that he's actually struggling and escaping bit by bit, clearly using powers they hadn't been aware of previously, they're starting to think it might be a Young Justice situation.

A teen hero capable of going to other planets, who somehow made one of them think he was Earth's Protector, and who's parents have no idea.

Shit.

Or; The aliens get their information about other planets through a very complicated process that, without them knowing, goes through the Infinite Realms for a hot second. This means when they looked up "Great Protector" they got the name Daniel Fenton. Because of the Yetis. Danny, who can understand all languages but currently only speaks English and Esperanto thanks to ghost powers, overhears the aliens talking mad shit about his mom right before negotiations are supposed to start. Danny reacts accordingly.

DC X DP: My Specter Roommate

CW: none

Tldr: Tim has a few odd experiences in his apartment only to learn he doesn't live alone.

Word Count: 417

Sometimes, it is easier to have space from everyone at the Manor. It is easier to decompress and take a breather from the madness the manors' halls can sow. That's why Tim got an apartment near Wayne Enterprises' main office.

It was well worth the investment and wasn't bad either. It was a two bedroom, one bathroom, close to the tower, cheap for the area and between him and all his siblings offering to help, secure.

No one would've bat an eye if he just used trust fund money or asked Bruce to pay for it, but Tim wanted to try to do this on his own. After all, he was old enough to vote, might as well act like an adult, and learn to live like it. The arrangement was kind of nice, however lonely too.

And that loneliness is why he didn't immediately call Constantine or some other magic user hero after coming to the conclusion his apartment was haunted. It took an embarrassingly long time for Tim to notice it, perhaps because he doesn't spent as much time here as he thinks he does between running WE and his night job.

The specter seemed harmless enough in Tim's opinion. He first noticed the strangeness when he was certain he left dirty dishes in the sink the night prior only to wake up and find them not only cleaned but put away too. He thought it was just his mind tricking him then so he carried on with his day only feeling uneasy if anything.

The next noticeable sign he was being haunted was when he set his coffee down on his desk and walked away to take a phone call. When he returned, the cup was significantly less and on the opposite corner where he left it. Maybe he mindlessly moved it or drank it while on the phone?

If it was a ghost, kind of rude, but ok, at least they didn't knock it over the case file he was reading.

His final confirmation was finding an envelope on the coffee table with a note and $100 in it.

Dear Tim,

I'm sorry for stealing your coffee, I decided I like it here and need a new haunt. Hope 100 is good enough for this months rent

DP

Not only was his roommate a ghost, but a polite one. Tim was so tired from his night job he didn't even care, just shrugged and decided it was tomorrow's problem and went to bed.

---

a/n: Found this in my drafts, don't remember where the plot was going so enjoy this little drabble. If I figure out where to go with this I'll make a part 2.