Fuck I Almost Cried
fuck i almost cried
Can’t Keep Lying
PLOT: Jin’s been distant lately. Maybe it’s the work flow, maybe it’s something you said. Or maybe, maybe it’s just the girl at work.
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Masterlist
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Jin x Reader
Warnings: Language
…
It was happening again. Jin was absent. Well, not completely. Jin was there, as he always was in the late afternoon, sitting at the kitchen table eating his dinner. But you could see it in his glossy eyes, see it in the way his fork mindlessly pushed his food around the porcelain plate, he was absent. His mind was elsewhere whilst his still body sat in the seat of your kitchen. This had become your normal. The chatter and laughter you two shared before, replaced by an unsteady silence ever since he began his new acting role. You cleared your throat, his eyes finally showing some sign of life as he glanced up at you.
“How was the filming today?” You asked, hoping you sounded more uplifting than you felt.
“It was great!” He also smiled back at you, a taut, fake smile that you’d been receiving more and more lately. You were becoming increasingly aware of Jin’s changes in behavior, that fake happiness had began to forge on his face often. Normally, he could go on for hours. He would tell you about his day, he’d tell you what he’d done and what he was up to. He’d always talk in a very animated and vivid way, fueled with enthusiasm and excitement. Then he’d lovingly question you about your day, you’d go watch a movie or go for a walk together, and then curl up to sleep. That had been your routine. But Jin didn’t continue the conversation further, you knew that after he was done eating he’d go shower and fall asleep before you could say anything. He no longer made jokes, or kept you up teasingly poking at your sides and chatting. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d heard him genuinely laugh.
“Jin.” You said. You were done letting him put on this little act, you needed to know what was wrong. “Talk to me.”
He didn’t look up. Jin’s eyebrows knit together, a concerned look covering his face as he set his fork down.
“You know that I would never want to hurt you, right?” He asked. You nodded, even though he was still not looking at you. “.. And I realize, that as much as I would hate to, I’m going to. Because there is no way I can go about this, that will not hurt you. There’s no good way to let you know this.”
You pushed your plate away from you, your heart was pounding. You were afraid now, everything suddenly seemed at stake. You were running over the memories in your head, wondering if you’d ever done anything wrong, if you had anything to do with what he was about to say. Jin finally looked at you, you nodded at him to go on.
“As you know, I’ve gotten along with the crew on the film I’m working on. There’s a lot of people on it. The director is talented and kind to us, the cast members are amazing and great to work with. There’s Jiwoo, Jaehyun and.. Oh, I did tell you about Seoyeon, didn’t I?” He asked, the tone of his voice became more nervous at the mention of her. You did the only thing you’d been able to do, nod. This was where it was getting difficult, Jin was visibly hesitating to speak again as he reached out and held onto your hand. You wanted to pull away from him, but something told you this might be the last time you got the chance. So you gripped onto his hand and listened. “Well, Seoyeon. She is a love interest of my character, you know that. We were both understanding of it, it’s only a role and it’s part of the job. We did not hang out afterwards, she knows I’m with you. We kept it all professional. One day we went out to celebrate the shoot going well, and we spoke. After that, we kept in touch. Then we started hanging out together on set.. And off set. I’ve realized over time, that maybe, well..” Jin was not one to stammer over his words, but he couldn’t help it. “I’ve realized that-”
“It’s not just part of the role.” You whispered, almost afraid to say it. In the short silence that followed, you wanted Jin to laugh and shake his head and tell you that you were wrong. Unfortunately that’s not what he did. Instead he just bit his lip and looked away.
“I think I fell in love with her.”
You were frozen. Everything was gone for a second, and when you finally came to your senses you felt the warmth in your limbs and realized that your hand was still in his. You yanked your hand away, the chair legs forcefully skidding on the ground as you came to a stand. Jin jumped in surprise, he was also rising to his feet. There was finally emotion back on his face, fear and confusion.
“I love you Y/N.” Jin assured you, but it was of no comfort.
“No, no you don’t. Maybe you did, but you know you don’t anymore. That’s what you’re trying to tell me, right?” You choked.
“.. I just can’t stay with you anymore.”
“So you told her you’d leave me? So she’s waiting for you to come back, single? I was just the obstacle in your way?” You spat. The silence from the male proved that you were correct yet again. Why couldn’t you just be wrong? He looked composed, serious, maybe a little hurt but not anything compared to how you were feeling. His empty hand was back at his side now, his eyes searching you for understanding.
“Then I guess she gets what she wants. I want you-” You paused as your voice cracked, taking a breath before trying again. “I want you, to grab your stuff, and get out of my house.”
Jin’s eyes widened in shock. He knew that it would resort to this eventually, but hearing it is something different. He never actually did mean to bring you so much distress, but he needed to tell you the truth while he still could, and a part of him really did love you. He moved towards you, trying to grab onto your arm and mumbling your name softly. But you pressed your hands into his chest and pushed him away. “No! I’m going to go outside, and go for a walk. By the time I get back, you better be the hell out of my house!” You stormed past him, your throat was drowning with the tears you were swallowing back. You threw the front door open, stomping down the stairs and walking down the sidewalk. The sky was turning dark with night time, the wind had also began to pick up. Your lungs filled up with chilling air everytime you sobbed, the cold was nipping at the tears on your cheeks turning them into trails on your red skin. But you refused to return. It’s a surreal feeling. Heart break is in every movie, every book, every song. People all over the world who pour out their feelings of pain, and you can sympathise with them, but it’s completely different when it’s you. To realize that this person that brings you so much joy, who accompanies you everywhere and makes you who you are, is going to be gone. You don’t get to wake up to him anymore, you don’t get to hold his hand, you don’t get to kiss him. You do not get Kim Seokjin anymore, and there is no one in the world like him that can replace the memory he’s left. The worst part of it all, is knowing that someone else will. He is someone else’s joy now, leaving you wondering if perhaps you just weren’t good enough to make him stay.
You were walking and shivering for so long now, you couldn’t feel your toes. You finally decided to make it back before it got any colder or darker than it already was. As your house came into view, you stopped when you realized that Jin’s car was gone. You stared wide eyed at the driveway, slowly piecing together what had happened again. And then you started running, your shoes pounding the cement as you sprinted down the road and to your front door, throwing it open. You started to take big unsteady breaths as you looked around, his jacket was gone, his shoes at the door were gone, his papers on the coffee table were gone. You ran up the stairs, down the hallway and into your shared room hurrying to the closet. You flung the large doors open so fast they collided loudly with the wall but you didn’t care, your eyes scanning the small room. The shirts he had hanging up were gone, his pants were gone, his shoes and hats were gone.. Jin was gone. You thought you’d already cried it all out, but then there were more tears pouring down your cheeks. You stumbled back, slumping down besides the bed and bawling your eyes out. So that was it. You’d told him to leave, and he had. You’d held his hand one last time, and now you wouldn’t ever again. Your cries were muffled by your knees as you pulled them up to your chest, clutching onto your jeans.
“Come back.”
More Posts from Hugoraph and Others
↳ Index [Chapter 08 - Prandiculum]
Pairing: slight Jimin x f.Reader, Taehyung x f.Reader
Warnings: suggestive themes, Jimin being a lot, blood drinking, Tae being angry, confusion
Wordcount: 5.3k
a/n: boy if you don’t-
You really like the songs of birds. You have always liked the songs of birds, even when you were a little girl – too naïve for the world and with far too much energy to spare – you really liked birds and their singing. It calmed you down, but also made you think of many amazing stories in your head. Most of the time those stories were about the topics those little fellas were singing about. Where the spots for catching worms were hidden in your garden, how the air all the way up in the sky felt like, or maybe just about how many people they have pooped on today. You had the silliest stories for every kind of bird and its melodies.
Now that you are all grown up – still maybe a little naïve but feeling far more tired than energetic – the music of birds reminded you of home. Your parent’s house is surrounded by a spacious garden, so your childhood was filled with happy whistling and little songs, hence the many stories. So whenever you are woken up by the songs of birds, you feel like you are back in your childhood bedroom, ready to start a new day of adventuring.
So when you open your eyes to a new day and don’t find yourself in your bedroom, you are confused. Now bear in mind, you hadn’t expected to wake up in your childhood bedroom, your mind was awake enough to realise that this was impossible. But you had expected to wake up in your apartment. White walls, which were slightly yellowed from all the previous people living in it, a big water stain on the left corner of the ceiling, the smell of your radiator heating up. But you weren’t greeted by those things, instead the clear blue sky greeted you.
You blink a few times, rubbing at your eyes when the image still remains.
“Huh.”
The sky is still here even after you rubbed your eyes. You look at your hands and start counting your fingers. You have more fingers in dreams, so your father always told you. You only have your required amount, not one more and not one less. So you aren’t dreaming. You are actually resting under a glass dome. Also what is that smell? Like old books and expensive wood?
You look around. A library.
“Oh!”
You must be stupid in sleep. You stayed over at Taehyung’s place, now you remember! This is his library, a secret he shared with you last night before you and him spent hours watching the stars and kissing until your lips were tender. You touch them, feeling your heart flutter. Last night was so amazing. He took you dancing, walked with you under the moonlight, showed you his most precious possessions and then told you that you are important to him under the starry sky and then fell asleep with you while you were resting in his arms.
You giggle, hiding your face behind your hands. Last night was epic.
Keep reading
BTS AND HOW THEY CUDDLE 💞
Plz reblog if you liked this <3
Heeyy!! Here is BTS AND HOW THEY CUDDLE (or rather how I think they cuddle).I added a few songs that remind me of the individual members if you'd want to give them a listen 💗. Also i wanted to apologise for this not being NSFW like my usual work, i'm not feeling it today :/ but anyways, enjoyyy!!_______________________________
Jimin
- likes being big spoon so he gets to nuzzle his face into the back of your neck
-sometimes he lays on you'r chest because he likes listening to you'r heartbeat that reminds him your not just a dream
-deff COVERS you in kisses whenever your cuddling with him
-he has those big-ass plushies ALL over his bed (and they probably have very wierd names, like 'roosik' or smt💀) and sometimes just to be petty he chooses the plushie over you to cuddle. But he comes back to you in a few mins.
-LOVES it when he lays down in you'r lap and you play with his hair @////@
___________________________________
Namjoon
(hes too precious STOP 😭)
- likes being big spoon because he LOVES feeling you'r hips/waist as you lay on you'r side infront of him
-watching movies and cuddling >>
- he always asks how you are feeling throughout the whole thing because he doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable at all
- he makes sure to let you know that he loves you at least more than 3 times
-he lends you his sweatshirts if your cold (ik thats the most 'uwu y/n 🥺' thing but plz dont kill me 💀)
- fluffy blankets everywhere!!!
___________________________________
Taehyung
-hes surprisingly very clingy
- i can only imagine him as a little spoon
-he would want to get hugged from the back and when you put you'r hand on him to hug, he would hold it by his chest
-if your watching a movie or smt he will make drinks and you'll sit in between his legs
-like jimin, he also likes plushies but he probably has the very small ones which you could basically use as a neck rest so he lets you take those if you'r neck gets tired
__________________________________
Yoongi 😼
- RANDOMLY tells you he wants to be little spoon and it usually catches you off guard
-he rly likes it when you touch his waist/hips when hes little spoon
-he lets you borrow his clothes
-whenever you guys are bored, he lays down in you'r lap and lets you do his makeup or skincare
- you guys deff squeeze each other's cheeks (on the face 🤨) as a joke until one of you gets hurt or smt and the other nourishes them
___________________________________
J-Hope
- doesn't seem like he'd cuddle very much. I think he just mostly individually hugs you and cuddles you when your sleeping. Hes both big & little spoon
-A SHIT-TON OF KISSES >>
-he jokes around a lot with you so no matter what your doing, he'll cheer you up :))
- he buys you comfy things like ; socks, blankets, hoodies, plushies, and little cute slippers so that your not cold at all
- he whispers a lot of cute things to you in you'r ear while cuddling
___________________________________
Jin
- BIG SPOON
- he usually cuddles you face-to-face so he can look at you and kiss you
-the hot chocolate this man makes is chef's kiss 🤤
-he loves it when you have anything of his belonging on you. Weather it be an elastic band or a necklace, it just makes him very happy
- i think he tells you stories while you cuddle 💗
__________________________________
Jungkook
- usually big spoon
- actually ADORES it when you lay down on his chest
- he finds it very calming to hear you'r voice so he likes it when you talk to him as your going to bed
-taking pics w/ you while cuddling >>
- he enjoys playing with you'r hair a lot
___________________________________
Sorry this was pretty short but i hope you liked it. ALSO I STAYED UP TILL 12:50AM TO FINISH THIS SO BE GRATEFUL 🙄. Anyways MERRY CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!! Im very thankfull for you reading this! Reblog if you enjoyed and dont forget to like!! Send request if you have any Byebye guysss!! :)))
Masterlist
BTS reaction to their s/o getting in a car accident
BTS reaction you like them but they like your friend
[Hyung Line] [Maknae Line]
BTS reaction to playing Pokemon GO with their s/o
BTS reaction to their ice skater s/o getting injured
BTS reaction to their s/o not wanting kids
BTS Hyung Line reaction to their crush liking another member
Songs that remind BTS of their s/o
BTS reaction to their s/o moving them to tears
BTS reaction to their s/o shaving off their hair
BTS reaction teaching their s/o how to dance
BTS reaction to having a crush on another member’s best friend
[Hyung Line] [Maknae Line]
BTS reaction to their s/o getting late night snacks
What Disney song BTS would sing with their s/o
BTS reaction to s/o being afraid of the dark
BTS reaction to the silent treatment (fluff)
BTS reaction to their pet doesn’t like their s/o
BTS reaction to their s/o talking to themselves
BTS AU: Finding their soulmate [Hyung Line] [Maknae Line]
BTS reaction to the members making a dirty joke about s/o *
BTS members as your boyfriend [Hyung Line] [Maknae Line]
BTS reaction to their s/o finding a bug
BTS members as your best friends (HC)
BTS reaction to kissing their crush + holding their hand
BTS reaction to getting their wisdom teeth pulled
BTS reaction to hearing their s/o singing in the shower
BTS reaction to their s/o walking in on them showering
BTS reaction to their s/o finding them smoking
BTS reaction to their s/o scaring them
BTS reaction to s/o jokingly threatening them after they apologize
BTS reaction to sleeping with their best friend when drunk*
BTS reaction to ruining the mood*
BTS reaction to breaking up with s/o and regretting it {Hyung Line} {Maknae Line}
BTS reaction to s/o wanting them to be their first time*
BTS reaction to s/o being an airhead/gullible
BTS reaction to having a POC s/o
BTS reaction to s/o having chubby cheeks
BTS reaction to rejecting you
BTS reaction to their s/o being younger
BTS reaction to their s/o getting hate during mukbang stream
BTS reaction to their s/o being short
BTS reaction to you confessing your crush on them
BTS reaction to accidentally yelling at you
BTS reaction to their s/o having a stalker
BTS reaction to their s/o crying over character’s death
BTS reaction to their s/o kissing them in front of the others
Downsides of BTS Member’s (HC)
BTS reaction to their s/o calling them pet names
BTS reaction to going to the zoo with their s/o
BTS reaction to finding out they’re gonna be a dad
BTS reaction to their s/o asking to hold their hand in a crowd
BTS reaction to their s/o getting sunburnt
What BTS would put their s/o’s contact name as
BTS reaction to their s/o crying over them dying in a fanfiction
BTS reaction to you leaving love letters in their locker
BTS reaction to their wedding
BTS reaction to their s/o learning Korean
BTS reaction to being their crush’s bias
BTS reaction to not being their s/o’s bias
BTS reaction to their s/o graduating
BTS reaction to finding out their s/o’s mother passed away
BTS reaction to finding out their s/o sings very well
BTS reaction to their s/o not being touchy
BTS reaction to their s/o having an identical twin
BTS reaction to picking their s/o up from a delayed flight
BTS reaction to their s/o overworking
BTS reaction to their s/o having one meal a day
Seokjin
Can’t Keep Lying
Namjoon
English battle with s/o
Stargazing
Yoongi
Pranking him with a fake hickey
Tsundere!Yoongi, your birthday
J-Hope
House of Memories
Dance practice with his s/o
Jimin
None yet
Taehyung
Art Museum with s/o
Jungkook
Visiting his s/o’s hometown
Member’ teasing him about your relationship
I've decided to write this for the mere possibility of saving someone's life, not just from Ukraine, these guidelines will help you if you ever find yourself under bombing/rocket/missile threat.
1. It is important to know where the attack is coming from, that is, the general direction (north, south, east etc.), and, if known, how much time do you have in order to reach safety. This information will be helpful for the next steps.
2. Your best option is always A SHELTER. Some European underground railway stations classify as ones.
3. If you don't have a shelter/can't reach one fast enough - find a stairwell, like the one in multi-story buildings, climb at least two floors up from the entrance or two floors down from upmost floor. STAY AWAY from windows, glass coating or any openings.
4. Can't get to a stairwell? Opt for the innermost, most window-less room of your house. If your know the direction of the attack find the room that meets the requirements above farthest away from that direction. Again, stay away from windows, glass objects or anything that might fall or shatter in case of explosion.
5. If you are out in the open and can not reach any of the above, lie flat on the ground, facing away from the direction of the attack, hands over (protecting) your head. It is important to remain like this even in a case of nearby explosion - explosion wave thrust goes up, lying on the ground might protect you from debris and projectiles.
6. If you find yourself under attack while driving, safely pull over and follow options 2-5.
7. DO NOT. Under no circumstances. Emerge from your place of shelter before official state authorities gave a clear.
Some of these instructions are very simple, but can and will save you! Stay alert, be prepared, follow official authorities' guidelines, and most important, protect yourself and stay safe.
we gon’ change. happy birthday taehyung ♡
glass cage
READ ON AO3
✎ metastacia ❝ 24k ⚐ mature
Seokjin is still figuring out if the fall was worth the flight.
duality pt. 37738329293 (cr. namuspromised)
+ kindest smile 😔
taehyung: what’s for dinner?
jin: i’m serving looks tonight.
taehyung: …
taehyung: jin hyung please, we haven’t eaten in three days.
the absolute prettiest 🤍
i’m so in love with him :(
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"If this can no longer resonate, no longer make my heart vibrate; then this will be how I die my first death."
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