READING CHECKMATE IS MY DOWNFALL. Time To Draw And Write Angst Izuleo 🤭

¡! ❝ REDAMANCY .. ❞

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natsume sakasaki x reader smau

warning(s) : ooc character, nothing else i hope

w/c : 766

“natsume? natsume dear, come downstairs!”

upon hearing his mothers voice call out to him, the redhead got up from his bed and made his way to the living room where he assumed she was waiting for him.

“yes, mother?”

“come; sit, sit! let’s talk a little! i’ve been so busy with the planning of the gala i barely had time for my son,” the older woman ushered him to sit on the couch next to her and turned to look at him, “how are things going on your end?”

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this is canon in my head

— HEREAFTER 

ft. isagi yoichi ; itoshi rin ; nagi seishiro ; bachira meguru ; chigiri hyōma ; mikage reo

summary: how you met them ! (high school setting)

note: well hello there, aren’t you all sick & tired of seeing me every saturday? dw i’m in a slump. 2 more & i’ll be gone (no mf you can’t get rid of me that easy wym)

⚘ ISAGI YOICHI

ㅤㅤit’s cheesy, the way you were sitting down next to each other at the train station, waiting for the rain to stop. it had been a lot noisier back then, when a group of friends had taken up almost the entire space, leaving isagi with no other available seat except the one next to you. not that you mind anyway, he seemed less intimidating than those other people. but when they finally got up and left, he didn’t move to the other end. neither did you. the rest of the wait was spent in complete silence. it wasn’t until it was announced that the train would be arriving late that the two of you made a sound; it’s kind of funny how you sighed at the same time, both utterly defeated. you laughed together at the predicament you’re in, looking at each other afterwards before realizing that you were wearing the same uniform. this prompted a rather pleasant conversation, resulting in the two of you being so immersed in each other’s company that you ended up missing the train. in the end, the rain kept pouring and it was getting really late, so you opted to walking back home together — shoulders touching just like a moment ago.

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i ran to make this. it’s 4:33 am

take your pick (cabbage edition)

I’M NOT INTERESTED!!

SUMMARY: in which 2nd-year y/n l/n one day turns up at their high school’s football club and falls in love with a certain 3rd-year, one who has a strict ‘no-dating’ policy.

PAIRING: itoshi sae x reader

GENRE: social media au, high school au, crack fluff and angst most likely

WARNINGS: swearing, inappropriate jokes, this is my first smau series so it’s probably gonna go wrong somewhere… i’m really disorganized sooo

START: 11/04/23

END: -

PROFILES!! - y/n’s minions | prodigies

CHAPTERS!!

一 - new term new me

二 - love at first sight

三 -

四 -

五 -

六 -

七 -

八 -

九 -

十 -

十一 -

十二 -

all right reserved © please do not copy any of my works!

more doodles of that au

✎Regret, love and death

Itoshi Rin, Itoshi Sae, Michael Kaiser x g/n!reader

Summary: The bllk boys break up with you not knowing you're terminally ill and they meet you again but this time you're dying right in front of them.

Warning: Angst, no fluff, breakup and breakdown, death, grief

A/n: this is super cliche ik but this has been on my mind for months now, it's time i actually write about it. Listening to ditto while making this. I tried to make it g/n so bear with me

Itoshi Rin

"Stay in the middle, like you a little"

Itoshi Rin who left you months ago after a stupid argument he wishes he could've prevented. He tells himself that he doesn't need you anymore and that he'll never open up his heart again.

Itoshi Rin who gets mad when he sees happy couples, he swears it's anger and jealousy but it's mostly confusion and betrayal. He believed that it was your fault that he became this vulnerable but he willingly gave his heart to you.

Being a professional athlete like Itoshi Rin it's common to regularly get some injuries here and there so he visits the hospital.

He waited patiently right outside his clinic, an earbud in one ear and he listened to the environment around him. Squeaky wheelchairs, cries from a hospital room nearby and patients conversing in daily chit-chat. The line at the clinic was taking too long so he decided he'll go next time; but something caught his eye. The soles of his shoes clack on the marble floor at the empty hallway and the music he's listening to but he hears the faint beating of a heart monitor. Then, he sees your name in one hospital room.

He couldn't believe his eyes. There was a folder attached loosely on the door, your name written in lazy cursive and numerous descriptions he couldn't understand. Rereading and rereading the name on the folder over and over again, his eyes narrowed as he decided to look over to the glass window at the door; he saw you. Rin doesn't understand why you were here and why the folder was marked "terminal— confined" . The writings are too messy for him to understand but his heart beats loudly through his body like a gong.

He tries to convince himself it's probably someone else but he knew you too much to know that the one stuck in that wrinkly hospital bed was you.

He has to go, he has to but he doesn't. He takes a deep breath and opens the door. You open your eyes as you realize your peace was disturbed from the loud creaking of the door. You scrunch your nose and blink your eyes as you take a look at the figure standing at the side of your bed, it was Rin.

"You… why are you here?" He whispered, you could barely hear him but he stared down at you with pity, anger, grief— you don't know.

"I should be the one asking you that." Your voice was muffled by the oxygen mask strapped to your head as you sat yourself up and looked up to him, he tried to avoid your gaze as he looked over to the IVs inserted into your wrists, wires everywhere he was sure he almost stepped on one.

Rin furrowed his brows in irritation, all this pent up anger from the break up bursting all at once, "What the fuck happened to you?"

You gave him a weak smile, "A week before we broke up… I was diagnosed with a heart disease. I couldn't tell you what happened to me, then we fought but I was too scared and stressed I broke things off."

Rin breathes raggedly, fear and guilt flooding his senses; wondering why he was such an idiot to leave you.

"Will you get better?"

You smile again at his stupidity, you know he's seen the document attached at the door saying 'patient in hospice' but Rin wants to hear it from you, he wants you to confirm his thoughts. Maybe even deny it so he'll feel better. You feel tears drip down your arm as you watch him shaken like he's seen a ghost.

"I won't, so go now."

Rin wants to pour out all his emotions, everything welling up inside his heart— the thoughts brewing in the depths of his heart that ate him alive from the time you were seperated but he holds himself back.

His knees buckled and his strength prior to this incident dissipated into nothing as he held onto his remaining resolve. Like the coward he always was, he leaves and never comes back… but he will come back to you eventually; with a chrysanthemum in hand this time and a fresh black suit he picked out.

Itoshi Sae

"Don't want no riddle, Say it, Say it back"

Itoshi Sae who visits Japan for the first time in months, only going back to renew his passport.

It wasn't his intention to pass by your old friend group in public, he eavesdropped on their mindless conversation then they started talking about you.

Itoshi Sae listens to their conversation, getting some details about you. Hearing that you got confined somewhere and that there was no one to take care of you other than the nurses and hospice workers stationed at your room.

Itoshi Sae who tries to keep that newfound information out of his mind but the thought of you being confined in a hospital is making his heart race. Not in love nor from the butterflies he used to get when talking to you— no. He couldn't stop thinking of you. He promised to himself to never interact with you, avoid every single thing that reminded him of you but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

Itoshi Sae who visits the hospital and asks where you are, pretending that he was a visitor to the nurses was easier than he thought.

"Are you asking about that patient?"

He nodded, the nurse was stupid enough to fall for his charms as she sent him the directions to your room. Sae knows what dangerous game he's playing, if he comes back to you again then it defeats the purpose of avoiding you forever like he promised himself but he still goes.

It was a nice afternoon, birds chirping and he saw little children from the nursery running around in the hallways with toys in their hands. He mentally prepared himself for what he was about to see, turning away from your hospital room for a moment before entering.

His eyes softened for a moment when he laid his eyes on you, you were reading a book— an eerie one at that. Sae raised an eyebrow when he noticed that you didn't hear him enter, what if you were deliberately ignoring him? He was sure you were but he didn't catch your attention until he stepped closer to your bed, a shadow looming over you as you slowly looked up to him.

The two of you stare at each other for what it felt like forever, he's still looking at you like that. Love in his irises but there's a tint of melancholy.

You could see Sae saying something to you, you tried to read his lips but his words fell on deaf ears.

Sae was getting irritated on why you didn't respond but you took the white board that was resting on your bedside table. He patiently watched you write something on the board, clack, clack, clack.

'Im deaf. I can't hear you.'

Just months ago you were fine but he gets more ill with worry when his mind starts to drift and wonder what could've happened to you when he left you here all alone.

You erased the writing on the board, giddily like a child as you handed him the board next, signaling him to also write you something.

The athlete hesitated for a moment before grabbing the board off your hands, writing something hastily. He feels like if he wasted any more time he'll lose everything— but he knew that he already did the moment when he called it quits months ago.

'What happened', he wrote on the board, streaks of ink staining his palm but that's the least of his worries.

You sat up in a more comfortable position before opening the drawer, taking a clipboard, medical documents clipped to the board. Sae reads the papers, his throat starts burning and he feels tears building up in his eyes. He flips through the papers, information about your condition printed on the tiny pieces of paper as he reads through everything.

You couldn't understand what he was muttering under his breath but you were sure it was something… the way he bit his lip to hold back the tears and the way his hands got sweaty as he scanned the board.

Sae loved many things, you, soccer, coffee and the beach. There was something about hospitals that made him uneasy. Hospitals correlated to injury and death— a big no no for him. But as an athlete, a pro one at that it's not surprising that he regularly visits the hospital for nutrition advice or medicine. Though… this one was his worst visit yet. He told himself that he won't ever cry or love you again, that's why it's 'Sae loved' but he realizes he still loves you. Even though you're stuck on the hospital bed, sickly and dying, your arms littered with scars from the tubes that go in and out your skin and maybe the way you look so frail and skinny now compared to what you looked like months ago; he still loves you. He realized that in this moment he's always going to be looking for you the way you pathetically looked for him in the hospital, wishing he was there after you two broke up.

At least now the gods were merciful enough to grace you with his presence for the last time, even in this situation you still smiled at him like he deserved to see that again.

Itoshi Sae who visits you again tomorrow before you pull off the plug, Pain plastered on his face as he holds you tightly. He broke his promise.

To you, to never hurt you.

To himself, to never love you again.

Michael Kaiser

"Oh say it ditto, Can't wait till the morning, So say it ditto"

Michael Kaiser pretends he's fine after the break up and to distract himself from the pain, he dates other people— looking for someone who can fill the void you carved in his heart, looking for you.

Michael Kaiser who still wears the cardigan you bought him, giving him solace and comfort when he curls up in his bed alone, wishing you were there with him.

You and Kaiser didn't break up on bad terms, more like a confusing and neutral breakup. He told you he was done and you didn't beg him to stay, after all he neglected you for his selfish desires. He's like an icarus who has flown too close to the sun, his ego representing the melting wax wings of icarus— it burned your skin and melted your patience.

Michael Kaiser still stalks you in his other account you forgot that existed. He wouldn't admit it but he patiently waited for an update on your account.

Michael Kaiser who stalks your account and finally sees something. Your parents' post talking about you being stuck in the hospital.

Michael Kaiser doesn't cry, he can't. Images on the posts ingraining— burning itself in the deepest parts of his brain then it triggers something in him. Confusion.

He doesn't know the exact details of your situation but he's too curious to scroll past the post.

Michael Kaiser who gets a cab and arrives at your hospital, like a man with no shame he looks for your room.

It was nighttime and the hospital was uncannily quiet, he wasn't sure why but the guard was doing a terrible job at guarding the entrance of the hospital. Kaiser walks past the sleepy guard, ignoring the thumping sound of the guard falling on the floor as he makes his way to the lady on the desk.

"What brings you in here, sir?"

He pushes up his glasses, "I'm looking for my lover, [patient name]", he says boldly, lying through his teeth but he knows it's the only way they'll let him in.

"Give me a minute," the nurse starts flipping through the hospital log book, "They're at room 405, third floor."

Kaiser nods, thanking the nurse as he takes the elevator.

'ding' Kaiser enters the elevator, checking his watch while waiting for it to arrive at the third floor. The elevator was dimmed and it looked like a scene straight from horror movies, another old lady in a wheelchair strolls to the elevator.

"What's a handsome young man like you doing in the dead of the night here?" The grandma says in a hoarse voice, grey hairs covering her face as she holds onto both her wheelchair and fruits.

Though Kaiser is an asshole, a liar, he naturally had a soft spot for children and the elderly. "I'm here for my… lover" he doesn't know what gave it away but the older woman noticed the hesitance in his voice.

The grandma nodded at his reply, 'ding!'

"I guess this is my stop." Kaiser stepped out of the elevator, waving goodbye to the elderly woman and ambled in the hallway.

The scent of disinfectant invaded his nostrils, though the smell gets more diverse as he passes by different hospital rooms. He hears people screaming and crying at the room to his left and the other room dead silent, as if a corpse inhabited the room to his right.

Sweat starts trickling down his forehead when he counts the hospital room's numbers and realizes he's getting closer to yours. 'shit, shit, shit' his mind spiralling into madness, anxiety as he braces himself for what he's about to see.

His legs started to feel like jelly as his feet dragged him in front of your hospital room. A feeling of uncertainty, something he never felt again after breaking up with you.

Months ago when you two broke up he wondered if maybe you'd crawl back to him, like a child who ran away but comes home again the day after, but you didn't.

The door pulled open as he made his way inside, the lights were turned off but the sound of humming took him by surprise.

"I can hear you, you know."

Oh, that voice. That voice that could soothe him on days like these, your voice so gentle he thinks it's a sweet melody, a lullaby so sweet it would bring the devil down on his knees begging and repenting for forgiveness if he ever heard your voice.

The German boy doesn't come forward, only staring at your disheveled figure on the bed, waiting for death themselves to take you away from your misery.

"Have you eaten yet?"

Your fingers traced the lamp before finding the switch, making a flick sound as the soft illuminating glow lights up the room. You nod as you sit up, hugging yourself as you find comfort in the bandages that wrapped around your body.

"I'm sorry." It was the first time he's ever said this to you in ages, he wished he said this to you back then, he wishes that he was there for you.

Maybe he was the devil, cruel and mean, strong yet so weak. His knees buckled as he let out a choked sob, his fears that builded up couldn't hold in much longer as tears streamed down his face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kaiser says in between his sobs, the prideful man being broken down into a pathetic, crying mess.

Your fingers fiddled together in anxiety, you always had that stupid habit of yours when in distress. As much as you couldn't forgive Kaiser— he's too weak, too vulnerable for you to ignore.

Still Kaiser was shameless but not too shameless to go even a few inches closer to your bed, his mind racing— thinking that everything is all his fault as his heart rate goes up.

"Why should I? We're not even together." His chest tightens, if anyone could see him right now they'd think he's a fucking idiot— crying over the dying lover he left to rot in the hospital? Piece of shit.

"Yeah I know." He tries to calm himself down but he knows it's useless when you pick up on his uneasy behavior.

Kaiser wanted to ask you, 'let's get back together?' or maybe 'please forgive me' because he's a shameless prick but it's the first time he doesn't let his pride take over his senses.

He grieves right in front of you, your eyes never leaving his as his body language is signaling you, begging you to say something but it's better that you didn't.

He has all the time in the world to grieve for you after all, he's a shameless, selfish man… isn't he?

Notes: hell nah i'm sorry if there was so many grammar mistakes and stuff this isn't really proofread and i'm thinking of opening requests so like uh what do you guys think should i open requests

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡

royalty au (pt. 1)

characters: UNDEAD, Knights (-Leo), and cameos from future characters

x gn!reader, fluff, ~4.8K words total

a/n: Royalty AU! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, and I plan on doing some other groups too with this idea, so hope you look forward to that! I didn’t expect for this to be almost 5k words long…it’s now my most longest work currently. Hope you enjoy! (Because of so many characters, the sections for each of them are shortened compared to my other works, just a heads up!)

UNDEAD

As a citizen under the kingdom ruled by the Sakuma family, you say that you’ve had a good life so far. Here and there were bumps along your journey, but it’s not been anything life threatening.

You’ve been in the forest exploring, when all of a sudden you hear rustling in the bushes. Preparing for the worst, you quickly start to retreat away until a pair of bright red eyes locked with yours.

Keep reading

— ੈ✩ DISTRACTIONS !

# 05 - breaking bad

— MLIST ;; otoya would kin jesse pinkman or vice versa SEND TWEET

after changing into his regular uniform, rin walked out of the gym to the parking lot to find his bike. his legs were fatigue from the constant movement of his legs and his feet were sore—he felt as though his bones may shatter at any given moment but he didn't dare pay attention to any of his bodily pain and continued to search for his bike.

he scanned the large parking lot which was mainly empty except for a few bikes and cars of the students and teachers who stayed behind to observe/participate in the clubs.

his eyes finally landed on his black motorbike which was parked directly behind one his club member's car. he walked towards it with his backpack precariously clinging onto his left shoulder. he threw the backpack down and began to ignite the engine of his bike.

before doing so, his eyes absentmindedly travelled to the car parked in-front of him due to hearing 2 familiar voices—one of the said voices belonged to his club member who went by the title "ninja" (and believed himself to be a descendant of one) while the other was the byproduct of his coach engaging in coitus.

he shrugged at first, not caring about whether or not the two teenagers were poisoning themselves. however, as he tried to situate himself appropriately on the bike, he couldn't help but glance in the direction of the car, yet again.

he felt an unusual, foreign feeling in his heart—it felt heavier than usual. was it anger? rage? sadness? no, it couldn't be any of them since why would someone like him ever be upset over people like them?

eita otoya, the "ninja", was someone who rin didn't bother with much. in his eyes, eita was a rather adequate player of soccer and he acknowledged his playing skills and considered him to be a "fit" opponent. however, his skills were nowhere as rin's—it was a fact, proven multiple times.

consequently, his feelings towards yn were contradictory: he admired her bravery to ever speak up against and he admired her for calling out one of his fatal flaws yet he despised her for the same exact reason. his feelings were an oxymoron.

still, he thought of how he felt when he saw her with the white-haired soccer player—he felt heart-heavy, as if his heart had betrayed him and was unable to supply him with an adequate amount of oxygen.

today, he noticed how her eyes would always land on his figure as he played the sport. he knew that every five minutes or so, she'd turn to look at him and look away as quick.

but then, upon the arrival of eita, she didn't dare gave him something as small as a glance—her eyes remained fixated on eita and that sparked a rather unusual feeling upon his chest.

was it anger? hatred? he was unaware yet he was feeling the same way as he did then when he now looked at the lair of teenagers that were situated in a car. furthermore, eita's arm was wrapped around her shoulders while she lightly leaned towards him. he didn't know why such an action could spark such peculiar feeling within him.

merely moments later, he realised it was envy but why would he be envious of either of the pair of teenagers? he had no reason to envy eita as he was a slacker. yes, he was good at soccer but his abilities were nowhere near his nor was his education any better, in-fact, they were far worse.

now, looking at yn, why would he be envious of her of all people? she was simply too mediocre to be envied by the rin itoshi.

again, he thought, why was he so focused on his feelings all of a sudden? ever since the fallout with his dear brother, he'd only ever focused on his goal of overcoming him. he always put his feelings aside so he could focus on himself better so why now?

he thought, simply, that some meditation and yoga would fix the mess that his feelings were. hopefully.

yet upon doing so, he realised it wasn't enough. he lacked something, that he was aware of but why would he worry about such mundane concepts when he was close to becoming something much better than that?

ultimately, he decided to hide his feelings, put them aside and focus on his goal and goal only. he didn't want to be distracted yet his haphazard thoughts betrayed him.

if only, if only, if only...

for hours, he thought of ways to regain his focus on soccer and not on himself but all his attempts were futile. he was failing miserably at connecting himself to the one thing that ever gave him importance.

why? that question loomed in his head yet again but to no avail could he muster out an answer that satisfied him.

so he gave up. it was unlike him to ever stop looking for an answer but searching for this specific answer hindered his abilities so he'd search for it another time, when he finally achieved his goal.

it was a fair deal and it was enough for him.

chemistry was never one of yn's favourite classes due to a multitude of reasons. for one, it was genuinely a strenuous subject for her to understand and comprehend—the complex equations and formulas she had to remember put a stress on her brain.

secondly, nagi seishiro was her partner for this subject. she didn't mind nagi however, due to his lazy and lukewarm behavior, she couldn't understand the lesson as much since most of her time would be used up in assisting him in the subject or in the games that he played.

worst of all, she shared this class with rin itoshi.

the infamous rin itoshi—the best soccer player in her year and the younger brother of saw itoshi, himself. who wouldn't fawn and desire to know such a man?

however, unlike everyone else, yn desired nothing more than to bash the man's skull into the nearest wall.

ever since their fight, two weeks ago on her first day, he'd been avoiding her. not having small talk with her, not greeting her—he didn't even give her something as small as a glance. it was as if she never existed to him.

and it pissed her off. sure, she had her few shares of people ghosting her but to completely disregard her existence? she wasn't having it.

so, instead of longing for his attention and desiring to talk to him, she began to ignore him too.

she didn't look at him during practice, she didn't greet him like she always did. nope, nothing of the sort.

until today.

she didn't know how it happened. one minute, she was bickering with nagi about the latest valorant update and the next? her chemistry teacher, mr miyazawa, was glaring down at the both of them—with such hatred and disappointment in his eyes.

'ms ln, i know you're a good student and i believe you have the potential to become one of the best but sitting next to nagi and talking with him will only hinder your progress in my subject,' he stated, she didn't know if he was complimenting her or not.

'due to this, i believe it would be the best to separate your seats from now onwards. i feel as though you'll do better if you're sitting next to a person that's genuinely serious about my subject so that's why you'll be sitting next to rin itoshi, moving forward.'

yn's breathe was caught in her throat—she was fine with sitting next to anyone in her class but rin? no. not at all. after all, she'd been avoiding him for an entire week while he was doing it for a much longer period of time. how would he of all people help accelerate her grades? if anything, he'd distract her further.

'sir, you have to understand, i don't—can't sit next to him,' she pleaded but all her attempts were futile since no matter how much she pleaded, her teacher was stubborn and so she had to ultimately deal with the consequences of her actions and be forced to sit next to rin.

upon arriving at his desk, he didn't even do as much to even spare her a glance-his eyes remained glued to the board in-front of him. that really annoyed yn, she couldn't believe that he'd be so ignorant.

once mr miyazawa went back towards the board to resume his lesson, yn sharply turned to the man next to her. if he wouldn't talk with her then she'll just make him even if it meant losing her dignity.

'what's the matter with you?' she asked with an eyebrow raised making sure that her tone sounded annoyed and exasperated due to his behaviour.

'actually, yn, i'm made of cells—do you not even know basic chemistry?' he retorted. yn couldn't believe her ears. did rin itoshi just use sarcasm?

she scoffed loudly, 'you're insufferable.' she turned her head back towards the board and didn't bother communicating with rin any further.

however, what she was unaware of was that for a small moment—a mere millisecond, rin itoshi's lips curved at the edges. he smiled. though, it was lost as quick as it came. he didn't know why but he was rather amused by the girl's behaviour.

a sort of amusement which made him feel something foreign.

just what was happening to him?

TAGS !! @vvasant @hugs4shizu @catsrkool @beidousbubz