If I Can Hold You Again, I Won’t Let You Go.

My new headcannon is that before Merlin became Arthurs man servant he used to brush his own hair, dress himself, and wash himself in the bath. But Merlin, not knowing any better, assumed that was his job, so he did those things. Then you have Arthur who, as a prince, everyone holds themselves apart from him. Then along comes Merlin giving him the contact that he craves. Arthur refuses to tell him otherwise, because he doesn't want to lose the intimacy of Merlins touch so freely given.

Merlin discovers these tasks aren't part of his duties after a casual conversation with Gwen shortly after arriving, but does not say a word.

After they are in a relationship, and another servant has taken his place so that he can attend to his court sourcerer duties, Merlin continues to brush Arthurs hair, and tie his tunics. Sometimes saving Arthur doesn't involve a sword or magic.

AND IT’S ONLY THE 4TH EPISODE!

Arthur is literally standing in a jail cell, jailed, because of his love for Merlin. How did Uther not know his son was gay, “why do you care so much? the boy’s just a servant.” MAYBE he did know fuck. ARTHUR GOT ARRESTED BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE FOR MERLIN. LET THAT SINK IN. 

It’s always either or

real. my merthur WIP is full of plot holes but that one scene SLAPS

(unfortunately said scene needs context so I gotta actually write the rest 😭)

me as a writer

sometimes i open a private browser and leave extra kudos as a guest because the fic is JUST THAT GOOD

Me: *reading a fic*

Me: that was awesome. Need to leave some kudos

Ao3: u left here kudos already

Me: are you sure?

Ao3: yes I am

Me: I just try again

Ao3: I tell you u left already

Me; ok ok don't scream at me.

Me: I will come back in few months and try again

Ao3: nothing will change!

ok i have a dumb Merthur fic idea: Farmer Wants a Wife AU

hear me out:

Arthur is a rich bachelor who owns a farm

Merlin is his farm hand who lives in the local town

He’s been working for Arthur for 3 years- they got off on the wrong foot by insulting each other but since then have become close friends (not that either of them would admit it)

Morgana secretly signs Arthur up to the TV show Farmer Wants a Wife

Arthur has to host 4 beautiful women on his farm and take them on dates (and everything is being filmed)

Arthur starts to realise he misses Merlin- that he would rather be mucking out the stables with him, than on a boring picnic date

Maybe he kisses one of the women and realises he’s not attracted to her and he’s like Oh Shit: Sexuality Crisis

Of course some fun banter between Merlin and Arthur around the farm when they’ve stopped filming for the day- Merlin teases Arthur about the whole Wife thing

Maybe one of the women is Gwen and she Notices how much Arthur talks about Merlin, and she Notices how awful it was when Arthur kissed her, and she puts the pieces together

Maybe Arthur and Gwen become close as friends, and at some point he confides in her (off camera) and she’s like “I know.”

MAYBE ALL THE GIRLS HAVE INDEPENDENTLY FIGURED IT OUT- and they compare notes “yeah, he was SUCH a bad kisser” “definitely gay for his farm hand” AND THEY WORK TOGETHER TO COME UP WITH A PLAN TO GET ARTHUR AND MERLIN TOGETHER

Arthur doesn’t know what’s going on, but the girls keep calling in “sick” and he keeps ending up on romantic dates with Merlin???

Don’t really know how to end this, but of course they end up together, Arthur’s a good kisser when it’s Merlin he’s kissing, he remains good friends with Gwen and the girls, and they make television history

(Edit: I started writing it. Stay tuned)

(Edit: chapter one is up- read it here)

Rewatching Merlin S1E2, when Merlin is dressing Arthur for his duel and just generally being incompetent because it's like his first day on the job, but imagine:

Merlin: *hands Arthur his helment* great, yeah, I think you’re all set

Arthur: Aren’t you forgetting something?

Merlin: *frowns*

Merlin: Oh, right

Merlin: *kisses Arthur*

Arthur: *turning red* No, you idiot! My sword!

Please, more your thoughts on arwen ☺ I feel like it's a taboo, but I don't know why.

It does feel taboo! But it shouldn’t be, because that’s not what fandom is meant to be about.

Now. I am going to try to be succinct, but I have strong doubts about how successful I’m going to be, lmfao. I have Many Thoughts™️, head is extremely full. In fact it’s taken me several sessions of coming back to this ask and adding more to my draft post to capture everything, so. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We can safely throw succinct out the window.

I want to start out by saying that I love both Gwen and Arthur as characters; just adding that as there seems to be this odd idea in fandom sometimes that if I don’t ship them together, it’s because I hate one of them. I also am going to preface this miniature novel (lol) by specifying that the characterisations I love are based on those in season 1 of Merlin — that’s what I see as their canon characterisations.

Okay, so in no particular order, here are my thoughts on Arwen and why it just doesn’t do it for me.

A sunburst does not an epic love story make. The writing of their love story is just so mediocre and half-arsed, and it’s particularly obvious given we have several points of reference to compare to. The BBC really did just go “okay, he’s a boy, she’s a girl, they’ve known each other for years and had absolutely no interest in each other until One Day™️ he stays in her house and they kiss and there’s a sunburst behind them — peak romance bby!!!!”

The BBC any time there’s a romance scene: SUN BURST SUN BURST SUN BURST

Tbh, even this dismal effort could have been a cute — if not super compelling — love story IF we hadn’t had such obvious alternatives to compare to, for both Gwen and Arthur.

Arthur is not Gwen’s type

Gwen clearly shows us — pretty much from episode one, actually — what type of person she falls for, and how she acts around them.

She canonically has a major crush on Merlin almost as soon as she meets him, and ditto with Lancelot. This tells us a lot about the men she is drawn to. Both Merlin and Lancelot are the type of men who unashamedly wear their hearts on their sleeves; they are open, kind, easy with their affection, and just so… lacking in ego. I think it’s also important that they’re “ordinary men”, as Gwen herself puts it — they’ve both come from commoner backgrounds, so there’s a level of understanding between Merlin, Lancelot and Gwen that will never be there with Arthur.

Also, I love Arthur to bits, but he does have an ego, and he’s much more blustering and posturing about things. While he does broadcast every single emotion from his eyes, lmao (babygirl xx), he isn’t easily open and genuine like Merlin and Lancelot are. Gwen herself points out that he’s not her type, early on in the show.

She also turns down Gwaine, and in some ways Gwaine is similar to Arthur in that he’s more showy and macho, on the surface. Gwen likes men who show tenderness and sincerity.

Personally I’m a Gwen/Lancelot stan through and through, but I can also understand shipping Gwen with Merlin or Morgana — the chemistry and connection is genuinely there in the show, so it just makes more sense to me.

Gwen is not Arthur’s type

For one, she’s a woman. Lmfao. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

The main thing that’s lacking in Arthur and Gwen’s relationship, for me, is banter. The BBC tried to show they were in love by making it all cute and sweet, but I actually think that shows a fundamental lack of understanding of their own characters — particularly Arthur. Arthur isn’t sweet — not in an outwardly normal way, anyway. He’s emotionally constipated and shows his affection by punching people in the arm and calling them names; pulling their pigtails, essentially. We don’t get that with Arthur and Gwen, and it’s a shame because I think it would have made them feel like actual humans who might just possibly be in love.

It’s also not just Arthur’s relationship with Merlin that demonstrates this — the way he acts with Morgana also shows us what Arthur looks like with his guard down, with the people he’s closest to. Yes he can be sincere and earnest, of course, but he also bickers a lot with the people he’s closest to. This is part of his personality! It’s part of his love language! It’s also something I’ve seen in my own relationships and the relationships of my friends — the banter and shit-talking is part of the affection. But Arthur is never like that with Gwen, so it just feels like an act; like Arthur is being who he thinks he should be with a woman he’s courting, rather than actually being himself.

Also, Arthur doesn’t stare at Gwen for 37525 minutes a day with his whole heart in his face. Like we SEE what Arthur is like when he’s pining for someone, and it’s just LACKING in his scenes with Gwen.

OKAY ARTHUR. Christ on a bike.

But back to my first point, about Arthur and women. I know this isn’t the most popular headcanon, but I think it’s actually really integral to Arthur’s character that he’s gay. There is something SO comphet about his character that is just so important. It’s about the repression, the fact that he’s had to mould himself into exactly what he needs to be, to be palatable to his father. It’s the fact that he CAN’T be gay, because he’s the prince, because he HAS to marry a woman for the sake of the kingdom and so he bottles it all up and refuses to even look at it. This is further reinforced by the fact that Arthur — on multiple occasions — has to be literally enchanted in order to show interest in objectively attractive women. The boy is gay.

But even if the BBC had taken the time to, oh, I don’t know, develop the chemistry between their TWO MAIN LOVE INTERESTS lmao, the love story still falls flat in terms of being dissonant with their characters:

Arthur wouldn’t have married for love

Look; it’s a nice idea. But it again fundamentally ignores his character, and what drives him. Arthur is THE epitome of self-sacrificing miserable loser. We see it time and time again; he would sacrifice anything for the sake of his people, for the betterment of the kingdom. And the reality is, that would mean marrying for political advantage. It doesn’t matter if Gwen would be a ‘good queen’; what would have really mattered is securing a political ally and doubling your lands, resources and armed forces by marrying royalty from another kingdom.

What annoys me about this, too, is that it actually would have made the love story SO MUCH more interesting. Give me Arthur marrying Mithian, and pining over Gwen from afar, while she marries Lancelot and moves on; angsttttttty and delicious. THAT would have been a rich love story, and true to character. So much better than a fucking sunburst.

Gwen and Arthur don’t understand each other as much as others

I kind of mentioned this earlier, about Lancelot being an ordinary man and how this connects Lancelot and Gwen, because he understands what it means to live an unprivileged life. Arthur does not.

Now, Merlin is also a peasant, but the key difference is that Merlin does understand what it’s like to have the weight of destiny and otherness on your shoulders. He gets Arthur, because like Arthur, it’s his responsibility to carry immense power, and use it — hopefully — well. They really are two sides of the same coin.

This isn’t to say that people from different backgrounds can’t fall in love, but again this is my personal opinion, and I think that Arwen falls flat as a romantic dynamic because Merlin gets Arthur in a way Gwen can’t, and Lancelot gets Gwen in a way Arthur can’t.

The writing lets Gwen down so bad

Aside from my personal feelings about the ship dynamic, the writing of their love story also just really lets Gwen down. She’s turned into this 2D prop that is only there to be Arthur’s love interest, or the object of a love triangle, and then later on, to simply be his queen. I love Gwen’s character in season 1 so much; she’s so awkward and delightful and genuinely sweet and soft yet strong… and then the BBC go “well! She’s Arthur’s wife now so that’s that”.

Not to mention… the writing also goes super hard on the romantic and homoerotic subtext between Merlin and Arthur, without having the same amount of romantic subtext (or text) about Gwen and Arthur. Like, if you’re going to tell a story about two men who are each other’s destinies, are two sides of a coin, and have a dumb old dragon spout shit like “a half cannot hate that which makes it whole” — sorry, but how am I meant to take Arthur and Gwen’s ‘romance’ seriously? They barely spend any time on Arthur and Gwen’s relationship development in the show; meanwhile, every second episode Merlin and Arthur are trying to die for each other and Arthur is saying shit like “You’re the only person I trust” (ARTHUR YOU HAVE A WIFE) and “You’re the only friend I’ve got and I couldn’t bear to lose you” (IS YOUR WIFE NOT ALSO YOUR FRIEND??) and then DIES IN THE ARMS OF THE MAN HE LOVES (again: not his wife????). Also this is the man who took the woman he was courting on a picnic where he told her in no uncertain terms that, if he could do anything, he’d run away somewhere nobody knew him to live a quiet domestic life, oh, except of course, he’d take Merlin. WHAT

This is the same man that also made sure Merlin was there when he proposed to his wife, and took Merlin on his anniversary picnic with his wife. Arthur, I see you, and I know what you are. Lmfao

I really need to wrap this up because you can clearly see I’m unhinged, but yeah, at the end of the day — Arthur and Gwen’s relationship wasn’t adequately developed in the show; it felt rushed and hollow a lot of the time, to me; their chemistry was lacking, compared to other pairings between each of them and other characters; and it was a disservice to both of their initial characterisations.

maybe I'm dumb that it took me this long to realize but when Arthur tells Gwen he has a dream to run away and be a farmer his only frame of reference for how farmers actually live is that one time that he was in Ealdor with Merlin sleeping on his cold floor and eating porridge and he hated it, my god, did he hate it but he was also with Merlin and it's the only time he didn't have to be Prince Arthur he could just be Arthur and he remembered that feeling of being just Arthur and Merlin and he coveted it so deeply that it became his dream?????