Babe Wake Up, New Wishing Well Chapter Just Fucking Dropped

I love all six of my followers, including the porn bot.

tfw your best pal who you’ve been gaying off with for 20+ years finally comes out and everything suddenly becomes painfully real

He's an ally

frank has been handling most of mac and dennis’s taxes and finances and shit for years and a while back he came to the realization that it would save him a good amount of time and money if those two just had a joint account. so he casually slipped them a couple of documents to sign one day and so for the past few years mac and dennis have been legally married with no idea whatsoever.

the thing is when they do find out dennis is all pissed off that frank kept it a secret from them more than he’s pissed off about being married to mac. and mac is all pissed off that the sanctity of marriage was ruined because they never even had a wedding. and dennis is like wait That’s what you’re mad about? and mac is all like yeah! i always thought that when i’d get married one day there would be a whole wedding in a big ass church and they’d be playing bon jovi on the organ and god would be watching. and then dennis starts getting a tension headache and it escalates into a heated debate/yelling match about weddings.

and frank is like woah woah woah woah alright listen best i can do is a cake and some streamers and we’ll clean cricket up a little and he can be your priest is that good is that gonna get you two off my back about this? and the truth is they both suddenly got really excited about the idea of a wedding so they’re like… yeah okay fine whatever.

AND THEN

they’re like fuck okay we gotta speedrun this whole thing starting with batchelor parties. mac drags charlie along with him and dennis drags dee to his. mac is all like i want today to be full of beefcakes i wanna have one last big gay hoorah without having to think about dennis at all and then spends the entire day talking about dennis anyway and charlie is on the verge of blowing his brains out. meanwhile dennis spends all day trying to justify marrying mac to dee as a logical and financial thing and how he’s definitely not in love with him or anything like yes he’s his best friend and yes they share a level of intimacy that they could never have with anyone else and yes sometimes it’s sexual but it’s not Romantic and dee is also on the brink of blowing her brains out all day.

eventually it starts getting competitive and both of them desperately wanna out-do the other’s bachelor party and things get a little too intense (cops, crack, hookers, knives, the mcpoyles, you name it) and they all wind up back at the bar at the end of the night drunk and high out of their minds and just happy to see each other.

they get married hungover in paddys the next day

saluting the macdennis apartment like it’s a purple heart honoree

"you can always go to a03 if youve finished the show and want more"

And what if I've read through every macdennis fic available. What then.

Real footage of me reading through the tags and comments on my timeline post that I made over a year ago

Mac is literally the cleanest of the gang, I don’t care that they dropped his bossiness a bit in later seasons but he was still the one cleaning Charlie and Frank’s apartment in “Mac and Dennis break up”, so I’ll just take that scene as representative of his entire character from now on, thank you very much

But seriously, it makes sense. We’ve seen his mom, how she’s a mess alone (and his father wouldn’t make much of a difference if he was present). Lots of people that grow up in an uncaring and messy environment tend to grow up and take cleaningness very seriously. I speak from personal experience when I say I get anxious when I see a messy bedroom precisely because it brings me back to my early childhood. Mac took the role of “man of the house” very seriously after his father went to jail, it’s very evident his bossiness and need to take care of people came from that. He NEEDS Dennis to need him, because if he doesn’t, what’s preventing him from just leaving?

Speaking of Dennis, I wouldn’t describe him as clean like other people have. He’s not messy, he likes to have things organized, but only to the extent of his own willingness to clean. I actually think Dennis would be very laidback in general, he grew up with maids and butlers and never actually lived on his own. His college dorm must’ve been a hellsite, though the majority of dorms usually are. Mac cleans after Dennis, metaphorically and literally.

This then leads me to think a bit more about their living dynamics (though I dwelve into more headcanon-y territory) like how Dennis probably takes care of the money aspects (tbf Frank’s credit card takes care of it), Mac does grocery shopping because I think if Dennis did it, he’d come back with like 4 protein bars and some apples to last them the whole month. Mac totally cleans Dennis’ room, atleast in minor ways like dusting and taking out the trash, wile Dennis keeps their apartment tidy by decorating shelves or keeping things in their places. It’s a silent part of their living arrangement and the kind of thing they’d never trade off.

im still debating internally whether the rose is a reference to the golden bachelor or to the machelor. which im positive is intentional and very, very evil of rcg to do to my delicate little brain.

Ashamed to admit I completely forgot about this. spiraling now