Can I Interest You In An AU Where Aizawa Tries To Woo Mic With Horrible Pickup Lines From The Internet,

Can I interest you in an AU where Aizawa tries to woo Mic with horrible pickup lines from the internet, because he has no idea how else to do it? And mic thinks aizawa figured out his crush and is teasing him? Imagine he has a list of them and every so often he’ll bust one out like Is there an airport nearby, or was that my heart taking off? Completely deadpan.

Mic kinda half-laughs sometimes but once in a while he shoots one back in an attempt to defend himself. Aizawa considers this progress

Eventually Kayama pulls him aside like as hilarious as it is to watch you roast him, I think you’re starting to hurt his feelings.

Aizawa:

Like he thought they were really getting somewhere and Mic is just weathering the storm.

Aizawa has to try something else, since the pickup lines didn’t work. So he goes to the card store and gets the biggest, cheesiest I LOVE YOU bear in the whole place. The cashier asks him if he would like to add an audio message to the bear, and he says he would. Now the bear says “I love you beary much” in aizawa’s expressionless voice whenever you squeeze it.

Hizashi sleeps with it every night, even though he’s still not sure if Aizawa is making fun of him. but he took the bear so aizawa thinks he’s batting a thousand. Hizashi is a lot of work to win over but aizawa is used to working hard. It’s worth it. Especially when he ends up in Mic’s room for something or other and sees the bear on the bed - he’s in cloud freaking 9 because!! Success!! Meanwhile Mic is dying of mortification and praying for a villain with a murder quirk to show up and put him out of his misery. Aizawa thinks they’re dating now. The bear has been accepted.

Now aizawa has to google “how to be a good boyfriend.”

So Hizashi starts walking into the apartment after a long day of radio stuff and patrols to find Aizawa is just... standing in the dark doorway. Waiting. “Tell me about your day” he demands, in the same tone he uses to interrogate criminals as Mic shrieks and drops all his stuff. He can’t figure out what it is Shouta thinks he did, and if he did do it, and there’s... something on the table. It looks like it was food once, before the war.

“I made dinner” says Aizawa, from behind him. The kitchen is not actively on fire but all the windows are open and a suspicious smokiness lingers. It’s the middle of winter. There is snow in the apartment.

“That was... so thoughtful of you...” Mic says, putting his jacket back on.

Aizawa nods. Date night is a success. Another flawless victory, thanks to the internet. He had tried to cook along with a YouTube video but didn’t understand some parts were cut out, to save time. Hizashi eats it anyway. This is what love is.

Aizawa had planned for them to watch a movie after dinner but it takes six hours to clean the kitchen. Most of the pots are unsalvageable. He wanted to make chocolate covered strawberries, but they were out of season. So dessert is one of those cans of mandarin orange slices with Hershey’s syrup poured into it. Then Aizawa tried to light it on fire, for fanciness. It didn’t burn.

It’s still freezing cold in the apartment at bedtime, so Mic offers to share his bed so they can keep warm. “Is that moving too fast?” Aizawa asks. He really wants to, but Hizashi has been so slow to win over, he doesn’t want to blow it by rushing.

Hizashi thinks he’s making fun of him again. “I’m not going to jump you in your sleep Shouta,” he grumbles, and aizawa nods. So it’s like that then. He makes sure to keep six inches between them, as a buffer. The perfect end to the perfect date. He’s amazing at this.

Aizawa also sets phone alarms, so he remembers to do things like Text Hizashi To Ask About His Day. Hizashi has to get used to his 3pm "what are you doing" text from aizawa. There are no follow up questions.

One of the things on the list of good boyfriend things to do was "compliment your partner!" so Aizawa made a list of compliments to use and he texts mic one per day.

"You keep the bathroom very neat"

"You always remember the name of the takeout place"

"You're very punctual"

Hizashi, sobbing: I don't understand what's happening

The best part is that Hizashi already does all the good boyfriend things, so Aizawa thinks this relationship is going great!! He's a very lucky man.

Eventually, Mic just gets pushed too far. Aizawa's daily 5pm compliment text was "you look handsome today" and Hizashi just fucking snaps. He leaves work early and rushes home. Aizawa is in the kitchen trying to figure out how to cook a stir fry. After they finish with the fire extinguisher, Mic throws it aside and says "I can't take it anymore" and full on dips Aizawa into a kiss.

"Finally," they both say afterwards. They think they mean the same thing, but they do not.

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1 year ago

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hwcsnmd

1 year ago

WIP Ask Game! Erestor is Elurín and Lindir is Maglor (somehow no one dies) 👀👀👀 I have so many questions! And Intrigues!

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10 months ago

THH... exists?

I've actually been getting into V3 so much lately that I GENUINELY FORGOT THAT KIYOTAKA DIED IN DR1-

Like I'm not even fucking kidding here, I just read a Kiyotaka post and was like "Cool, blorbo is happy living :3" and then just like... stopped for a good minute. "Wait... that's not right..."

My stupid ass forgot Danganronpa 1 is an actual game. And continued after chapter 2... I forgot how forgettable THH can be when compared to the pacing and plot of SDR2.

I forgot about that shitty chapter 5 trial, and I forgot about Yasuhiro and... Toko and Sakura... and Kyoko and Byakuya and Aoi. I think that's all the survivors other than Makoto?

WTF I GENUINELY FORGOT SAKURA IN CHAPTER 4- WHAT-

I forgot about Alter-Ego too? Guys help it's leaving my memory. /hj

Tsumugi hyper-fixation consumes me.

THH resentment is leaving :DDD

Smoogieeee >:3

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hwcsnmd

2 years ago

HECK YEAH!