the bed dips, and you feel your eyes slowly open. that’s when you know that chris is home.
he whispers your name softly, with a warm sense of waiting as though he expects a reply. you know he doesn’t, that by this time you’re normally fast asleep with no chance of waking up, but you take the time you have on the one night you are awake. “hello.” you call out, so quiet and dazed that if he didn’t catch it, you wouldn’t be surprised. however, he does, and you can practically hear the speed his head turns at.
your eyes are barely open, and you’re struggling to see a thing, but you can judge that he was mid-way through getting changed when you called out for him. silk-like and smooth, you know you’re right when he crouches down beside your body, hand shooting up to stroke the hair out of your face.
he treats you as though you’re a kitten: soothing, calm touches and strokes that make you curl into the comfort of his hands, desperate for the lazy scratch of his fingernails against your skin. like a magnet, your hand reaches for his body, meeting the cool surface of his bare chest. underneath your fingertips, you can almost feel the goosebumps rise, but you don’t stop tracing your hand across his body.
you bring it up to outline his collar bone, wrapping it around the side of his neck before meeting his nape and tenderly running your fingers through his hair. he must’ve showered at work, because you can feel the slight remaining dampness and the soft curls that’ve started to form. you love it—adore them, even—and he is well aware.
“are you getting in?” you ask, and if he can’t tell from the tone of your voice, you’re desperate for an answer of yes.
instead of answering in words, he walks to the other side of the bed and crawls into the cover, bringing a cool chill to meet your skin. the new presence under the quilt is familiar, and the comfort of his body being so close once again feels strangely euphoric. you’ve missed this. you’ve missed him.
rolling over, you face your body towards his, so you’re both on your sides. it’s strange; the lights are out and only the peak of moonlight from behind the curtains provides a brightness to the room, but you can still make out his every feature. his nose, his eyes, his lips. perhaps you’ve stared at him for too long, admired every inch of skin he has so well that your mind recognised it even in the dark. but knowing that, knowing him, brings the most shameless smile to your face. you’re lucky, you think, to have a love like you do—utterly sweet and saccharine like a maraschino cherry on top of a warm chocolate brownie. a love that feels like him.
the cool touch of his fingertips dips under your shirt, meeting your bare waist. gently, he draws them up and down, using one hand to create patterns on your skin and the other to bring you closer, pull you towards him. you wonder for a second whether he loves you like you love him, so unconditionally and selfishly and pure. but you don’t have to guess, or debate or worry, because with the word of his touch and the utter fondness in his eyes, he is telling you he loves you a million times over.
goodnight, you mouth, not daring to break the calm silence that has settled between the two of you. without trying, your eyes are closing, but you still manage to make out the way he whispers back the words to you, a hidden grin kept subtle on his lips. he reaches forward, pressing the softest kiss onto your forehead, and settles with you like that. one hand securely on your waist, as though he could lose you if it wasn’t there, and the other drawing none sense on your skin as he lulls you to sleep.
it’s silly, you think. he could be on the other side of the world, having not touched you for months—years, even—and he’d still never lose you. after all, you can’t be lost if your heart is forever in the palm of his hands.
SKZ Hyunjin Link Masterlist
Hyunjin sobers up in you after getting quite tipsy.
Hyun punishing you after being a brat <3
Hyunjin taking u against a wall
4 hyunjin Links (requested) 18+
More to come...
(If links are missing that were there before sadly they do not work anymore, for the Twitter account has been suspended)
Can you do an Innie friends to lovers fic. Thick mc. Smut obviously but like baby bread to daddy toast🤣🤣
Aphrodite's Pain
Jeongin x thick female reader
Word count: 6.4k
Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY! Verbal and emotional abuse, physically intimidating behavior, mentions of gaslighting, body shaming, unprotected piv intercourse (be safe use protection) cum eating, praise, body worship, a little spanking (like one smack), Jeongin has a big dick (is that a warning?) I think that's all but as always if I missed something please let me know and I will add it!
A/N: Hope everyone enjoys this one! I had fun writing it. I'm sorry for the terrible joke at the end but I couldn't help myself. I'm cheesy like that.
You and Jeongin became inseparable almost immediately when the guys first introduced the two of you. You loved all of the guys but you and Jeongin had a lot of similar interests and the same sense of humor so you fell into a very comfortable friendship quickly. Movie nights, coffee hang outs, amusement parks, arcades, you spent most of your free time with Jeongin. The guys thought for the longest time that you two would perhaps become more than friends and it was frequently discussed amongst them but they didn’t want to push you so they all swore not to say anything to either of you. For all intents and purposes, Jeongin was your baby bread and you were his Noona. If you ever needed help with anything he was always a call away and you would always drop anything if he needed you. Jeongin was your friend and you appreciated and needed him more than you could ever express.
The one thing that you just couldn’t understand since you and Jeongin had become friends was, in the three years that you had known each other you had run though countless boyfriends. For whatever reason they couldn’t handle the fact that you and Jeongin were so close. You were always up front with your them about your best friend being a guy and you did everything you could to make sure your partners felt secure in your relationship. It never seemed to matter by the end though. Every time the inevitable happened and the guy you were seeing dumped you, your confidence took a hit. Was your friendship with Jeongin just an excuse, a means to an end? Was it really because of you? Were you not pretty enough? Was it because you were heavy set? You had never questioned your weight or appearance or appeal until one guy after another kept leaving you. They all couldn’t really be leaving just because of your friendship with Jeongin. Right? Every time another guy ended things with you those questions plagued your mind. Of course, Jeongin was always there to help hold you together and assure you it was the insecure idiots that you had been dating that had the problem and not you, but Jeongin was your friend he was supposed to tell you things like that. You always held back just a bit never really touching on your insecurities about your appearance. So, while it helped to hear the things he would tell you in the moment it did very little for how you were actually feeling in the long term.
When you met your current boyfriend Matt you were apprehensive about dating him, about dating anyone really. You were at a place in your life where you were thinking maybe you just needed to be single, reflect on yourself and what you’re doing or not doing to not be able to sustain a relationship. You were convinced the issue had to be you in some way. Matt was persistent though. He would send flowers, text you sweet little things all the time, and he didn’t seem to mind Jeongin being around or the fact that he took up such a big chunk of your life. Before you would consider seriously dating Matt you felt the need to express the fears you had about getting into another relationship. How you wondered if it was truly your friendship with Jeongin that made guys in the past leave or if it was the fact that you were thicker or not attractive enough. You laid it all out, admitted more to him than you ever had to anyone, maybe even to Jeongin and Matt had assured you that he wasn’t like the rest of those guys. That you were beautiful and he knew you and Jeongin were friends and that was all.
“You are gorgeous baby, don’t say stuff like that about yourself. Regardless of how stunning you are, I’m not the jealous type. I trust you; I wouldn’t have pursued this with you if I didn’t. I know you’d never do something to betray me like that Y/N so don’t worry so much. Okay?” Against your better judgment you believed Matt. He seemed so sincere and so far, he HAD been better than your ex’s when it came to you and Jeongin. It wasn’t long though before the same things that always happened started. Matt would try to get you to cancel on Jeongin to go out with him instead and get mad when you wouldn’t. If you invited Matt along to spend time with you and Jeongin he would throw side eyes and glares even though Jeongin always made sure to be nice, for your sake at least. Matt would make snarky, jealous remarks whenever you brought up Jeongin. He was actually worse about all of those things than other partners had been and still you would try to reassure him, you would try to make things work. At first after he did things like that, he’d apologize but after a while the apologies stopped and the gaslighting started. He would blame you for arguments he started and try to make you think you weren’t being loyal because you wanted to spend time with your friend. Even still, you hoped you could work out these issues and be happy with Matt. You were trying your best to, as hard as it was.
You and Jeongin were finally getting to hang out after what seemed like forever for the two of you. Between your work and really focusing on trying to make things work with Matt, not to mention Jeongin’s busy scheduled, you hadn’t gotten to spend much time together recently. So, you were both excited to get to do one of your favorite things, stay in at your place and watch movies. At least that’s what you were trying to do when Matt started texting you. He blew up your phone through most of the first movie you were watching to the point you had no idea what was going on. Jeongin was glancing over from time to time but you were too absorbed in the conversation, well more like bickering, with Matt to realize. As soon as you started the second movie your phone started going off again.
That stung. Your face contorted into a grimace after reading it and your chest tightened a bit. Jeongin noticed your stiff posture, the frown and the worry lines on your forehead becoming more prominent. He knew those worry lines only showed when you were trying to hide that you were upset.
“Everything okay Noona?” You looked up from your phone and realized Jeongin had been watching you for a minute now.
“Wha- oh yea. It’s just Matt wondering when we’re gonna be done.” You didn’t mention what he’d said in the last text. Jeongin shook his head.
“Jeeze we’re only just getting through the first movie.” Jeongin made a vary valid point and you agreed.
“I know he’s just upset…” Before you could finish your sentence, you heard a knock at your door. You looked in that direction and then back at Jeongin confused.
“Are you expecting someone?” he asked. You shook your head before getting up to see who was at the door.
“I’ll be right back.” You called back to Jeongin as you disappeared down the hall way. When you got to the door you looked through the peep hole. When you saw who it was you were not only surprised but furious. You opened the door and were immediately met by Matt yelling at YOU.
“Why the fuck didn’t you message me back!?” You looked at him like he was a crazy person because he was acting like it. You looked behind you checking to make sure Jeongin was still in the living room and then walked out into the hall closing the door behind you to try and keep him from hearing the commotion Matt was causing.
“One, lower your voice. You JUST messaged me. You didn’t give me time to reply before you were knocking on my door. How long have you been wai- you know what never mind it’s not important. You were being mean Matt if I had replied, what was I supposed to say to that that wouldn’t have just ended up being a huge fight? I’m trying to have a good time with my friend and watch some movies.” Matt scoffed and rolled his eyes. He looked behind you at your closed door.
“Why did you close the door huh? Afraid I’m gonna see something you don’t want me to?” This again. Matt started pacing the hall back and forth as you pressed your fingers into your temples trying to will away the headache this was bringing on.
“We go through this all the time Matt! He’s like my little brother. It’s not like I hide or lie about spending time with him. I invite you to join, don’t I? If you call or text I always answer, don’t I? I spend almost all my time with you and do everything I can to make you feel secure in our relationship and you still get so jealous. You knew Jeongin was my friend before we started dating. We had a whole conversation about this, multiple in fact. You said you understood, you said you were okay with it. So, why are you getting so bent out of shape?” Matt spun around and walked back up on you quickly, his finger out, pointing at you. You flinched a little surprised by the aggressive action.
“Yea I want to tag along and be the third wheel with my own girlfriend on your little dates with your little boyfriend.” You let out at heavy sigh. You were getting exhausted with this.
“We don’t have little dates and we are just friends Matt. YOU are my boyfriend.” Matt laughed and started pacing again.
“Not any more I’m not. You always say the same shit, it’s always ‘he’s like a little brother why are you mad?’ You must think I’m fucking stupid. I’m so done Y/N, this is over. We’re over! You’re not worth this shit.” Matt spun around and faced you again.
“Just admit you’re just a whore and fucking him already!” Your jaw dropped.
“What did you say?!” You were shaky and had tears in your eyes. You couldn’t believe he would say that. You truly had never given him any reason to think that you and Jeongin were anything but friends, in fact you’d done everything you could to prove otherwise. Matt took a few steps closer, baring down on you, looking down his nose at you. Anger radiated off of him.
“I SAID that you’re a fat whore. And that I KNOW you’re fucking him.” The tears in your eyes fell and you choked out a sob. He knew where to hit you so that it hurt and he took his cheap shot. Just then your door flung open behind you and Jeongin was standing there. It was obvious he’d just heard the whole exchange between you and Matt even though you had tried to prevent it. Jeongin’s face looked like it had no emotion in it. It was stiff like it was made of marble. His fists were clenched and the veins of his arms and neck visible. He was clearly trying his very best to restrain himself. You had never seen him like that in all the years you’d known him.
“Y/N, go inside.” His voice was firm but he spoke calmly to you and moved to the side to allow space for you to go in. You didn’t say anything. You did what he told you to and ran into your apartment still crying. Once you were inside Jeongin pulled the door closed behind him this time and stood in front Matt.
“Wha-“ Jeongin cut Matt off before the first word.
“Shut the fuck up.” His words were calm but they still dripped with venom. Matt was stunned. Jeongin had always played the quiet shy kid around him up until that point, mainly for your sake. So, when Jeongin told him to shut the fuck up, he shut the fuck up.
“You have got to be the dumbest asshole alive do you know that? You have never deserved Y/N. She would never cheat on you or willingly hurt anyone she cared about for that matter. Never, and I would never try and make her to do something like that either. We are just friends you fucking neanderthal. We have never fucked, are you hearing me you insecure dip shit.” Matt looked angry and confused, like he wanted to believe Jeongin but didn’t. Jeongin wasn’t done though he leaned in closer and lowered his voice.
“I have never fucked her Matt BUT… I assure you… tonight? I will.” Jeongin looked Matt right in his eyes as he said it. Matt puffed out his chest like some gorilla trying to assert his dominance, challenging Jeongin. Jeongin squared up to him totally unafraid. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes remembering you were upset in the apartment and just wanting to get back to console you. He didn’t have time for Matt’s shit.
“I don’t want to Matt. I’m really, really trying not to. So just get the fuck out and I won’t have to do something we’ll both regret.” Matt hesitated for a moment thinking about calling Jeongin’s bluff. When Jeongin opened his eyes again Matt saw how serious he was. He rolled his eyes and huffed before turning and walking towards the elevators without another word.
“Oh, and Matt?” Matt stopped and turn around.
“You won’t be around anymore but rest assured, if I ever hear you calling Y/N a fat whore again, nothing will stop me from absolutely rocking your shit. Got it?” Matt pressed his lips together. He didn’t say anything but Jeongin knew he got the point. Once Matt was on the elevator and gone Jeongin went back into the apartment. He found you in the living room curled up in the mountain of blankets you had been under watching movies, with your face pressed into the couch cushions, you were still crying. He walked over and sat by you and started rubbing your back, trying calm you.
“Noona? Y/N? Please don’t cry.” You pushed the covers off and turned over facing Jeongin. When he saw your red cheeks and teary eyes, he almost walked back out the door to find Matt and give him the beat down he deserved. Instead Jeongin wiped your fresh tears away as they fell.
“It’s my own fault Innie, things have been getting worse for a while. I should have known; I should have just ended things myself but…” You sniffled and more tears fell.
“What’s wrong with me?” You tried to choke back another sob unsuccessfully.
“Come here Noona.” Jeongin opened his arms to you and you sat up and fell into them pressing your face into his shirt. He let you cry against him as he stroked your hair. After a minute when you started to quiet down Jeongin spoke.
“You know it’s not you right? Seriously. What could be wrong with you? Huh?” You pulled away from him and fiddled with your hands in your lap.
“I’m…” you hesitated to say it but knew Jeongin was your friend and that you could tell him anything.
“Because I’m… you know…fat.” You said the last word so quietly as you wrung your hands together. Jeongin looked at you speechless for a moment. How long had you been dealing with these feelings and he had no idea? He felt horrible.
“First of all, you have fat, you’re not fat. You’re more than your body type Y/N, so much more. It doesn’t matter if you are skinny or full figured. You are kind, and funny, and you are absolutely stunning Y/N, just the way you are.” It was your turn to be speechless. Most of your friends would deny the words if you said you were fat to them, or just tell you that you were pretty which didn’t really help, as much as they were trying to. Not Jeongin though. He didn’t want to convince you that you weren’t thicker, you are, he wanted you to know that it didn’t matter because it was just a fact about you, like having blonde hair or green eyes. It was not who you were and no matter what you were beautiful. He had the most serious look on his face as he continued.
“You’re so willing to try and see the best in these guys and you don’t see the best parts of yourself and they refuse to, all of them, and then you end up hurt. I hate it. I hate that you get taken for granted by these assholes. Y/N, you deserve someone who wants to worship you because you… are beauty personified.” You blushed but you couldn’t help but scoff in disbelief at his words.
“Innie, you’re sweet but…” Jeongin cut you off before you could say anything else.
“No Y/N no buts you are SO beautiful add to that that you are a genuinely good person. Anyone should count themselves lucky to have you. I know I would.” You looked at Jeongin. His eyes bored into yours. Then you blurted out the next words without even thinking.
“Did you mean it?” Jeongin looked at you confused. Did he mean what? That you were pretty? That you deserved better? You scooted closer to him on the couch. Your eyes were so big and dreamy, they sparkled from the tears that had been in them moments before. Jeongin couldn’t help but get lost in them.
“Mean what?” He finally managed to make himself speak. Suddenly you climbed onto his lap and straddled him, one of your thick thighs on each side of his legs. You rested your arms on his strong shoulders and sat your plump ass on his thighs, your fingers started fiddling with the hair at his nape. Jeongin froze.
“That you were going to fuck me tonight?” His eyes went wide suddenly. You had heard that?!
“Uh… I-I’m sorry… Noona I-I was just talking, trying to make Matt mad… I’m sorry…” Your face fell and you stopped toying with his hair.
“You didn’t really mean that you wanted to then?” You started to get off Jeongin’s lap, your face flushed with embarrassment as tears started to prick your eyes again. You felt incredibly stupid for saying and doing that, what were you thinking? Of course he didn’t want to fuck you he’s your best friend. He said that to make your ex mad and he was saying all those things to you to be nice. To comfort you like a good friend does. Before you could get off Jeongin’s lap though his strong hands grabbed hold of your full fleshy hips and held you in place on top of him.
“Don’t! Don’t get up.” He pulled you the rest of the way down on his lap again so your full weight rested on his thighs. Jeongin pushed your hair away from your face so he could look you in the eyes again before his hands moved to rest on the curve of your waist continuing to hold you in place.
“If you want that Y/N, then yes, I want that. But…” Jeongin was hesitant say the next words. Your fingers played with the hair at his nape again, coaxing him to go on as you looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.
“But I don’t just want to fuck you. I… I’m in love with you Y/N. I always have been.” It seemed like your eyes glowed even brighter when he said those words. Your lips turned up into a small smile that Jeongin was relieved to see.
“Innie, all this time… why didn’t you ever say anything?” Jeongin sighed.
“We’re friends and I thought you wouldn’t take me seriously since I’m younger than you.” You shook your head.
“Inn… Jeongin. I’m only 2 years older than you it’s not like it’s a huge age gap.” Jeongin shrugged his shoulders.
“I know but you always date older guys and you call me baby bread like the hyungs do, you always told your boyfriends I was like a little brother to you. So, I thought you would reject me if I said anything and I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship.” You nodded as Jeongin explained, understanding now why he had never said anything.
“I was compartmentalizing my feelings Innie, so that my partners would feel more confident in our relationships, so that they wouldn’t feel threatened and try to interfere with our friendship. I didn’t take into account how that might affect YOU in our relationship though and I’m sorry.” Jeongin grabbed a hold of your face, his hands were rough but so gentle. He leaned in closer to you, his lips hovering so close to yours. You closed your eyes and held your breath.
“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about Y/N.” Jeongin’s lips met yours. Soft lips pressed against soft lips. It was like a supernova went off in your chest the way your heart thumped out of control. The kiss started tender, lips slotted together, soon your tongues were tasting, tracing the inside of each other’s mouths. Before long you were practically ravaging each other, teeth tugging at full lips, both tongues trying to assert dominance. When you shifted on Jeongin’s lap his hard on pressed against you pulling an unexpected moan from you. Jeongin broke the kiss and looked at you. His eyes were such a dark brown.
“FUCK! That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard Y/N.” He growled the words and his lips crashed into yours again. Jeongin feverishly kissed you as his hands gripped the soft love handles on your waist and rocked you against him harder making you moan louder into his mouth this time. You both were completely fueled by lust as you moved against his firm cock over his jeans, the pressure against your clit, even through the fabric separating you, was making your body thrum with excitement. Jeongin leaned back against the couch still guiding your movements. He watched with hooded eyes, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth as you held onto his shoulders and rode him, your big breasts bouncing along with your rhythm.
“God you’re so fucking gorgeous Y/N. Does it feel good?” You were flushed and softly panting as you shook your head up and down.
“Good baby, I’m gonna make you cum now okay pretty girl?” He leaned forward and kissed you again wrapping one of his arms around you to pull you closer to him. Jeongin slid his hand down your plush tummy past the waistband of your pants and panties. When his fingers dipped into your soft wet folds your breathing hitched and you stopped moving.
“No no baby. Don’t stop, keep riding my fingers. Want you to cum for me. Can you do that Y/N?” You shook your head again you were having trouble forming words he was making you feel so good. You started rutting your hips against Jeongin’s hand as his lips and teeth worked over your neck and shoulder, leaving love marks behind, his tongue soothing each one after. Every grind against his fingers sent chills through your whole body and you could feel your climax creeping up on you quickly.
“I-Innie…fuck…I-I… I’m so close…” Blush was creeping up your chest and neck as your labored breaths came in between you trying to form words. Jeongin slid his fingers past your clit and pushed them inside you, curling them so they rubbed against your g spot with every grind of your hips. Your jaw fell slack and your eyes went wide.
“JEONGIN!” A slight smile crept on to his face hearing you scream his name like that just because of his fingers.
“Come on you can do it, cum for me beautiful, make a mess on my hand.” Jeongin started pumping his fingers deeper into you as you continued to slide across his lap chasing your orgasm. When Jeongin pressed his thumb firmly against your clit it pushed you over the edge and you came.
“Oh… oh my god..Jeo..Je..In-Innie… !” Were the only words you were able to remotely form as you fucked yourself on his hand, his fingers still pushing into you, his thumb roughly rubbing against your clit. You hugged Jeongin’s head shoving his face into your supple breasts. He pulled your tank top down and kissed and nipped at the soft skin on the top of your breasts as you shivered and twitched through the remnants of your orgasm.
Jeongin removed his fingers from you and brought them to his mouth, licking the pads of them to taste you before sticking them into your mouth. You sucked on them willingly and your teeth grazed his fingers as he retracted them.
“Fucking gorgeous, god damn. Just gorgeous.” Before you could think, let alone reply to Jeongin’s words, he gripped your thick thighs with his big hands, lifted and flipped you so you were under him on the couch now. You let out a little squeak at the show of strength.
“Jeongin!” You breathed out his name in surprise. He looked down at you a little glint in his eye and a smirk, one that looked mischievous.
“What? Are you surprised I know how to handle my girl?” Another wave of arousal washed over you hearing Jeongin call you, HIS girl. You tugged at your bottom lip with your teeth.
“I’m not baby bread anymore beautiful. I’m going to show you how you should have been treated all along.” Jeongin stood and pulled his shirt off over his head and then quickly started working at his pants and boxers tossing each article of clothing aside before kneeling on the couch and helping you remove the yoga pants and tank top you had been wearing. Once you were completely naked under Jeongin his fox-like eyes narrowed and took in every curve, every soft cushiony piece of your body. Completely enamored by you. He started speaking absent mindedly, his thoughts just forming in his head and coming from his mouth as he took in your form.
“Y/N did you know most artist depictions of Aphrodite show her with hips and dips, a tummy and full breasts.” Jeongin leaned in close and whispered in your ear.
“How do I have the real-life Aphrodite under me right now?” You blushed at his words and looked away but he tilted your chin urging you look at him.
“Look at me.” You did.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on Y/N, every piece of your body should be kissed and loved baby.” Jeongin placed a kiss on your lips, your jaw, your neck. Soft kisses trailed and traced along your body as his hands caressed the curves of your breasts and hips gently touching you where ever his lips and tongue were not. After truly worshiping your body with the soft prayers that were his lips he kissed your mouth again, this time deeper, more passionate. Tracing his tongue across your lips as it dipped between them. Your head was buzzing but you wanted more, needed more. You needed Jeongin.
“Please! Jeongin, please fuck me.” Jeongin leaned over you bending your knees and pushing your legs apart so he had better access to your dripping cunt.
“Anything you want baby. Anything for you.” With those words Jeongin spit in his hand and rubbed it over the head of his thick cock, sliding it through your wet folds before guiding it towards your aching core. When the head of his dick pushed into you you let out a soft gasp.
“Are you okay? I’m not hurting you am I?” Jeongin asked sweetly. You shook your head no.
“No…I’m okay… mmmmm… just BIG. Go slow?” Jeongin gave you a small smile and nodded at you as he slowly sank into your cunt deeper. Your finger nails dug into his shoulder leaving little indents behind as you felt the stretch and sting of Jeongin’s thick cock being pushed deeper and deeper inside of you until he was fully engulfed in your sweet warm wetness. You could hear the low growl come from the bottom of his chest as he tried to compose himself and not just start ramming into you mercilessly. It was hard to control himself but he didn’t want to hurt you so he slowly pulled out to the tip and pushed into you again a little faster than the last time. He kept doing that in and out. Slowly until you started rocking your hips and meeting his gentle thrusts into you.
“I’m gonna go a little harder now baby. Are you ready?” You bit your lip and nodded.
“Yes Innie.” Your voice was so sweet to his ears it shouldn’t have sent more blood rushing to his cock making him throb inside you, but it did, he was so hard. He pulled out and pushed into you the hardest he had yet and you moaned out in pleasure as the head of his dick hit your g spot.
“FUCK! Jeongin… right there… keep doing that.” He heeded your instruction and started moving faster thrusting into you at that same angle and abusing the soft spot with the tip of his cock over and over. You pussy was soaked and the sounds of his skin connecting with your wet cunt every time he pumped himself into you deeper egged Jeongin on to fuck you harder. He gripped you by your squishy hips and his fingers dug in as he fucked you faster and harder.
“God baby you are taking my big cock so well. You’re so pretty. Every inch of you feels so fucking good. I can’t get enough of you baby, gonna have to have you on my cock all the time beautiful.” You moaned out at the praise. He made your body buzz with his words.
“Yes… yes Jeongin. Want you to fuck me when ever you want. How ever you want.” Hearing you say that Jeongin flashed you a mischievous smile again. He pulled his dick out of you and wrapped his arms around you pulling you up flush with his own body. Your big soft breasts squished against his chest as he kissed you.
“Turn over baby. Push out that beautiful ass and let me see your pretty pussy from the back.” His words were like ecstasy and practically made you drip down your legs with excitement. You did exactly as he told you to and bent over presenting your ass and drenched cunt to him arching your back. Jeongin’s hand came down and connected with your supple ass cheek causing a delicious sting.
“Innie!” You jerked and moaned out in surprise looking back at him. His smirk grew as he rubbed the red hand print that was appearing. As he massaged away the pain, he sunk his cock back into your soaked pussy. His hands gripped your hips and gently pulled you back on him as he pushed his aching cock into you deeper. Jeongin ran his hands from your hips over your voluptuous ass and up the small of your back easing you down, your face rested on the couch cushions, arms out in front of you holding onto the arm of the couch. His hands followed back up the trail they had come from stopping to grope your ass and spread you so he could see his cock sliding in and out of you covered in you juices. The sight set something off in him. He gripped your soft hips firmer than he had before and stopped moving.
“Y/N you better hold on to whatever you can.” As soon as the warning passed his lips his hips started pounding into you full force and fast. Each thrust pushing your face into the couch cushions harder as you tried to keep your hold on the arm of the couch.
“Fuck! Oh… God-fuck yes fuck me hard Jeongin Fuck me, yes.” He continued fucking into you hard and fast bringing you closer and closer to your climax. Your walls tightened around his cock, he let out a grunt and squeezed his eyes closed.
“Oh fuck baby… I’m so fucking close. Are you close beautiful? Are you gonna on my cock?” You moaned out in utter ecstasy unable to form words. He knew you were close the sound your sopping pussy made every time he slammed into you made it obvious. Still he wanted to hear it from your mouth.
“Talk to me gorgeous… FUCK… are you gonna cum for me baby?” You panted the next words out.
“Ye-yes I-I-Innie… go-gonna c-c-cuumMMM! Jeong-Je-J In!” You screamed out fragments of his name as he drove his cock deep into you. You twitched and throbbed around him coming so hard you couldn’t see. Jeongin kept fucking you deeper rocking his hips hard against your ass searching for his own high as well as riding you through your orgasm. Making your cunt tighten and squeeze his cock harder.
“Fuck. FUCK! Baby… baby… I’m gonna cum!” You moaned out and begged for it.
“Yes Innie give me your cum. Want it Innie please.” He grunted and slammed deep in to you one more time before pulling out and stroking the head of his cock quickly. He moaned out as his thick, warm, cum painted your full ass in stripes. You could feel it warm pooling on your lower back, dripping down your ass and onto your cunt.
“Fuck baby, so much cum covering you right now. You look so fucking good covered in my big load pretty girl.” Jeongin massaged one of your ass cheeks with his finger tips as he tugged on his cock, smearing the last of his cum across your ass. He pressed the underside of the tip of his cock between your ass cheeks and slid it up and down over your cum overed ass hole. You clenched at the sensation as he smeared his cum up and down, twitching from the overstimulation to the head of his dick. You propped yourself back up on your elbows and reached around with one hand, running your fingers through the pool of warm cum that had landed on your back and sucked them clean. Jeongin’s eyes rolled back and he closed them biting at his lips.
“Fuck baby. How do I taste?” You ran your fingers through his cum again and sucked more off humming in appreciation as your wiggled your cum coated ass against the head of his cock he had pressed against you.
“You taste so good Innie…mmmm.. taste soo good.” Jeongin kneaded your ass cheek for a moment longer with his cock nestled in between them, appreciating the complete mess he’d made of your ass and cunt. His smeared cum coating your ass cheeks like a glaze as you continued to run your fingers through it and clean yourself off sucking and savoring the taste of him on your fingers each time as Jeongin watched you.
“Fuck baby, you look so sexy eating my cum.” He leaned over, kissed and playfully took a bite of one of your ass cheeks and your pulled away laughing still sucking the last of his cum from the tips of your fingers.
“How about I get you cleaned up and we can watch this other movie?” You leaned back down on the couch and nodded as Jeongin got up and ran to get a warm cloth to clean you up with. When he came back, he wiped what you hadn’t scooped off and eaten off your backside and then ran it down your sensitive cunt. You winced at the sensation of the warm rag just a little but it was soothing.
“Did I go to hard? You’re not hurt are you?” Jeongin asked as he finished cleaning you off. You turned over and laid on the couch on your side propping yourself up on one elbow looking at him.
“No Innie, I’m fine. You were great, that was amazing really.” You lazily smiled as you laid there your cheeks, chest and breasts, even the tops of your thick thighs were painted in blush. Jeongin slotted himself between you and the back of the couch and wrapped his arms around you. You grabbed one of the mountain blankets from before, covered up and turned the movie back on as Jeongin held your soft body against his. You tilted your head and looked back at him. The tv screen giving you just enough light to admire his face this closely for the first time. His strong jaw, the five o’clock shadow that was starting to peek, he looked down at you.
“What, do I have something on my face?” You laughed and shook your head no.
“Just you were right. You are NOT baby bread anymore.” His eyes narrowed a bit and he smirked.
“More like daddy toast now.” His eyes narrowed further as he gave you that look he always gave you when you’ve said a stupid joke. He shook his head and laughed pulling you tighter against him. Legs and arms tangled; you watched the movie until you both fell asleep on the couch. Jeongin was your best friend and from that night on your lover.
hueningkai links pleasee
Hi! I just posted this!
I don't give a fuck about your friends - 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢
𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: lee minho x f.reader
friends to lovers
↳ Oh baby, take a look around I'm the only one that hasn't walked out, Im right here.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, smut warning below the cut.
𝐚𝐧: part of a series called ohmami of short one shots inspired by Chase Atlantic songs. This one was inspired by Right Here. If you would like to be tagged in all stories for this series or a specific boys please fill out this form.
𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, soft dom minho, rougher passionate sex, creampie, size kink, dirty talk, minho calls the reader the name Pretty.
It’s been a rough night to say the least. A night out with your friends went wrong. A bunch of drunk girls in the club is never a good mix, followed by watching a so-called friend makeout with your ex who you thought at one point you were gonna marry him. The sight of them kissing was like a bucket of cold water being dumped on you. Tears well in your eyes as you rush off to the hallway near the bathrooms. You fight back crying as you call the only person you want to see at that moment.
Walking back to the table where a few friends were, you let them know you were heading out. The buzz you had has faded away as a feeling of sadness takes over. Walking outside the cold air catches you by surprise. Taking a deep breath you wrap your arms around your body trying to find some warmth. You stand outside alone for all of five minutes when you see the only person you want to see walking towards. He’s dressed in gray sweats with a hoodie underneath and coat over the top.
You practically jog towards him, wrapping your arms around him, throwing yourself into his chest. There is a moment of silence as you cling to him. His hand gently rubs your back making you feel warmer.
“Thank you for saving me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he presses his lips to the top of your head.
Pulling away he takes off his coat and holds it out for you. You know he’ll probably be cold walking back to his car but there is no use in fighting him. Pulling his coat on you immediately notice his eyes are focused on you. He steps closer to you resting his hand on your cheek. Ever so slowly be wipes away the stray tear that had slid down your cheek.
“You’re too pretty to be sad,” his voice was calm and gentle.
Arriving at his car he helps you in the passenger side before shutting the door. The drive back to his apartment is quiet. You can feel him looking over at you every so often as you wipe away the stray tears that keep falling. He hasn’t really asked you what’s wrong but you know he will.
You arrive at his apartment he shares with Jisung and you notice right away there is no sign of his roommate. Without thinking the moment he shuts the door you lean forward to kiss him just like you always do. You’re caught off guard when he pulls away the moment your lips touch. The small feeling of rejection stings but you know it’s because he knows you’re upset.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” He seems frustrated. You can’t blame him though. Recently anytime something has gone wrong in your life you always call him. He never tells you he can’t come to your rescue. He always does and every time no matter if it’s day or night it always ends the same way with you naked and spread out underneath him. He normally doesn’t say anything when you throw yourself at him. Peeling away your clothes as you desperately cling to him trying to make yourself feel better.
“Mae was all over Hyunwoo at the club. I looked out on the dance floor and saw my friend making out with the guy that broke my heart.”
He doesn’t say anything, he just takes a deep breath and steps closer to you. Minho hated Hyunwoo and after you got your heart broken he hated your ex even more.
“She’s not your friend if she would do something that she knows would hurt you.” His hand rests on your side standing close to you.
“I’m probably just being sensitive,” you sigh, wiping away your tears. “I have that trip with them next weekend. I know she wouldn’t intentionally do something to hurt me.” You're an absolute fool and you know it. Mae and a bunch of the other girls are selfish and you know deep down inside you need to cut them off. Minho has told you over and over again he doesn’t like most of your friends in that group and you know why. He doesn’t say anything for a moment instead he moves away from your hand and gently rests his hand on your cheek. His thumb swipes away the tears that are staining your cheek.
“Come stay with me next weekend. I don’t think you should go on that trip.” From the moment Minho heard that you were supposed to have a girls weekend he was instantly against it. He thought most of the girls that you had started hanging out with since college were fake. After seeing one of them make out with the man that broke your heart led you to believe he might be right.
“They’ll be upset if I cancel on them,” you sigh.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“‘Min they’re my friends. It does matter.”
“I don’t give a fuck about your friends. I’m the one who is always right here. They don’t treat you right. If they were true friends they would have seen you were upset tonight and wouldn’t have let you leave crying.”
“Min,” his words catch you off guard.
“I’m being honest. I don’t give a fuck about your so called friends. I just want you to be happy and I think being with me instead of them would make you happy.”
Even though your head is telling you that you should go on this trip, you want to listen to your heart and stay with Minho.
“What happens if I stay here?”
“We’ll figure out whatever we are.” He pushes his figures through your hair tilting your head back. His face softens as your eyes lock.
“We’re not just friends?” You’re not dumb you know you’re more than friends. If you were just friends you wouldn’t throw yourself at him any chance you get. If he was just your friend you wouldn’t daydream about kissing him.
He pulls back from you shaking his head. “I don’t fuck my friends.” He starts walking away from you heading off to his room. You’re caught off guard by his bold statement but it lets you know he feels the same way you do. Without thinking anymore you follow him. Walking into his room you notice the light on in the bathroom connected to his room. You wait sitting on his bed for him to walk back in. Walking back into his bedroom he pulls off his shirt tossing it in the hamper by his closet. He strips down to his boxers. You silently sit there watching him. You should have known at some point or another things between you and Minho would come to a head. You couldn’t go on sleeping together without talking about how you really get.
“Are you going to skip that trip?” He finally breaks the silence.
“I want to know what it’s like to be more than friends with you.” This is your way of telling him you aren’t going on that trip.
“Stand up for me,” he says walking towards you. You listen to him standing at the foot of the bed. “Those girls aren’t good for you. They don’t care about your feelings and I don’t like that.”
“I know they don’t.” You get sad again thinking about how your night went.
“Strip down to your underwear please.” He doesn’t normally boss you around when you sleep together. He’s always had dominant energy about him, but when you have sex he always lets you do what you want. Every time you’ve slept together it’s been when you’re upset or want a form of stress release. You realize you’ve been selfish and never really asked Minho what he likes or what he wants.
Standing there in just your underwear you reach out resting your hand on his cheek, “what do you want from me?” You ask.
“Anything you’re willing to give me. I want every part of you.”
“Minho I mean what do you want if you don’t want to be just friends?”
His hand rests on your bare side pulling you close to him. You take a deep breath taking in his closeness. “Pretty, I want to be your everything. I want to make you happy and show you what it’s like to be loved.” Leaning in closer he rested his forehead against yours.
“I want you to be my everything.” You didn’t want to just be friends. You wanted so much more with him.
His lips crash against yours and he kisses you like he needs you to breathe. His hands grip your soft sides as your lips move together.
Pulling away you both removed the rest of your clothes. Laying on his bed completely bare he sits between your spread thighs as he rubs his hardened length through your folds.
“Min put it in,” you practically whine wanting him inside you.
A smirk tugs at his lips as slowly pushes his length into you earning a moan. He moves at a slow pace letting you adjust to his girth. The groan that passes his lips as he bottoms out is intoxicating. Your hands reach for his wanting to hold on to him. He thrust into you at a firm but steady place. The blissed out look on his face makes you weak.
“Pretty, you’re so tight. Is my cock too big for you?” He loves to make you feel small. You weren’t a tiny girl by any means but the way he talks about his size makes your head spin.
With one particularly hard thrust makes you practically scream his name. A soft laugh passes his lips as he thrust hard again causing your breast to bounce.
“Min-“ you moan.
“Do you like it when I’m rough?” You just silently nod your head, unable to fully respond. He grabs one of your legs, putting it over his shoulder before he continues his pace. His finger toys with your clit knowing just the right way to touch you to make you scream his name again.
He keeps his steady pace leaving you a panting mess. One of your hands grip the cotton sheets next to you while the other grasp your breast. Your thumb drags across your sensitive nipple adding to the overwhelming sensation taking over your body.
“Fuck you look good touching yourself while you’re taking my cock,” he groans. His dirty words come close to pushing you over the edge.
“I’m so clo- clo close.” He’s left you a stuttering mess.
“Does pretty want to come?”
“Fuck,” you whine nodding your head.
“Do it then,” he says, thrusting harder.
Pulling your leg off his shoulder he quickly changes his position so he is hovering right over you. He keeps his pace as he leaves a trail of open mouth kisses from your chest up to your lips. The moment your lips together you moan into his mouth as you fall apart. Your walls flutter around him as a white hot wave crashes over you. He thrust into you over and over again as you ride out your high.
His thrust gets sloppier as he chases his own release. He comes painting your walls white moaning your name. He stays plastered on top of you riding out his release. Ever so slowly he pulls himself away from you. He sits back on his hunches watching for a moment as his release drips out of you. Reaching over to his nightstand where he keeps a box of tissues he always wipes his release before laying on the bed next to you. You’re absolutely exhausted and feel like you’re on the verge of falling asleep.
“Pretty?” He says pulling your sleepy body close to his.
“Yeah?”
“I meant what I said. I’ve always been right here, and I don’t want to be just friends.”
You smile nuzzling close to him, “Minho we’re definitely more than friends, and I’m glad you’ve always been right here.”
His lips gently press to the top of your head before you fall asleep in his arms.
Regarding taglist:
If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.
I'ma BIGGGGGG sucker for this trope for some reason even tho i do not condone irl. BUT GAHDAM THIS WAS HOT AS HELL. MEANIE PROF CHAN YEZ PLS
Genre: teacher!Chan, legal student!reader, smut
Warnings: teacher x student relationship, unprotected sex, size kink, corruption kink, cunnilingus, slight spanking, praise kink, cockwarming
Request: no
Member: Chan
Y/N sighs as she opens her textbook. She's never been one to care about her sexual status - in fact, she never even thought about it until today.
The entirety of lunch, her friends had been making fun of her for still being an "angelic virgin", as they put it - they were all extremely sexually active, and for some reason after being made fun of it for the better part of an hour, Y/N can't stop thinking about it.
She doesn't know whether she's upset or not about all the teasing … all she knows is she's been clenching her thighs together ever since she got to her last lesson, and she has no idea why.
Y/N watches as Mr Bahng walks into the classroom. She can't help but let her thoughts wander as her gaze lingers on her math's teacher smart appearance; is he sexually experienced like all of her friends? For some reason she can't imagine him going home and having sex with anyone …
She clears her throat and violently shakes her head. No. She can't be thinking such explicit things about a teacher … that's completely inappropriate. Clearing her mind, Y/N looks down at her book as her thighs tighten under her desk, and she's unaware of her teacher's gaze on her.
It's not long before the last lesson finishes. Y/N is slipping her books away into her bag in a daze when Mr Bahng's soft voice calls out to her.
"Y/N? Can you stay behind after class, please? There's something I want to discuss with you," Mr Bahng says, leaning back in his seat. His slender fingers casually spin a pen around, and Y/N is taken aback at his request. Am I in trouble?
She does as he says, despite the strange looks from her classmates. Her friends cock their heads to the side, questioning her with their eyes.
Y/N shrugs. "Just go on without me. I'll text you."
They leave the room and soon Y/N is alone in the classroom with her teacher. She zips her bag up and is unsure whether she should get up and go to his desk or not; she's saved further pondering when Mr Bahng gets up from his seat and walks over to her.
Y/N can't help but gulp as he approaches her. He's always intimidated her; intense gaze, perfectly slicked back hair, crisp white shirts, their sleeves rolled to the elbow - his forearms are lightly veined and she can't help but stare as he tucks his hands into his pockets, his blazer left on the back of his seat.
She watches as he reaches the desk next to hers. He pulls out the chair and spins it around before sitting down on it, his arms leaning against the top of the back rest.
"Don't worry," he suddenly says, and a small dimple flashes in his cheek as he smiles. "You're not in any trouble."
"Oh," Y/N says faintly. He's so close to her that she can smell his cologne; it's woody and fresh, with an intoxicating base layer of sweet warmth. Y/N feels strange. She doesn't know whether it's because being anywhere near a man has always intimidated her because her father left, or because of another reason.
She clears her throat and smooths her skirt over her rigid thighs.
"I noticed you looked a little down earlier," Mr Bahng says. "You're always quiet, but today you seemed like there's a lot on your mind. Just wanted to ask if you're okay?"
Y/N blinks at him. She's unfamiliar with this sort of thing - an adult, asking how she is? She doesn't remember the last time anyone asked her how she was; she gulps, tilting her head slightly.
"I'm fine, sir. Just … tired," Y/N says. She tries for a smile - it must falter because Mr Bahng looks at her with slight pity that makes it hard for her to breathe.
He leans back against the desk, watching her intently. "Y/N, this is a safe space, okay? I'd like it if my students felt comfortable enough to confide in me … about anything. It doesn't have to be school related, it can be about anything that's bothering me. You can tell me anything, okay?"
Y/N nods. She's unsure what else one would say in such a situation.
Especially since the man's voice is doing strange things to her stomach. Things she's never felt before.
"So … what's bothering you?" Mr Bahng asks.
"I don't know … " Y/N bites her lip. Should she tell him?
Mr Bahng raises an eyebrow, willing her to go on.
So she takes a deep breath and looks down at her knees under the desk. "I'm a virgin," she blurts out, and Mr Bahng's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "And my friends make fun of me for it."
He's not sure what he was expecting, but this was definitely not it. Mr Bahng doesn't know what to say for a moment, temporarily robbed of his words. He shifts position; something about those three words are doing things to the comfort of his trousers.
"Oh?" Mr Bahng lets out a quiet chuckle. "I uh … wasn't expecting that."
"I'm sorry sir."
"No it's okay," Mr Bahng gently places a hand on her arm; Y/N jumps, the contact making her inhale sharply. "I'm glad you told me."
A short silence passes between the both of them; it's not awkward, but almost as though the man is trying to gather his thoughts.
"I'm sorry about your friends," Mr Bahng continues. "You know, you don't have to sex if you don't want to. Don't listen to the things they say to you."
"But that's the thing," Y/N bites her lip again, fiddling with her skirt. "I do want to have sex. I don't know what any of it's like and I want to know."
Mr Bahng swallows. He really should tell her something like 'you'll find out when you're ready' and send her away - she's his student.
But at the same time … he is a teacher. Surely teachers don't just have to teach maths …
"I could teach you … " Mr Bahng says slowly. "If you wanted."
Y/N's head snaps up in shock. "W - what?"
"I can teach you how to have sex," Mr Bahng says, more confident now as he leans closer to her. "I mean, I am your teacher after all."
Y/N exhales shakily. She knows the right thing is to say no. But gosh, the way he looks at her with those dark eyes …
"Okay," she whispers. "Teach me."
"You're sure?" Mr Bahng asks. "We don't have to, if you don't want this."
"No, I want to," Y/N breathes. "I want you to teach me how to have sex."
Chan smiles then. He reaches out and gently runs his thumb over the girl's chin, brushing it over her lower lip. Her breath hitches at the contact and her eyes flutter shut, her breath warm puffs against the man's finger.
"Have you had your first kiss yet?" Mr Bahng asks. "I'm sure you have."
Y/N shakes her head against his touch. "I haven't."
"You haven't?" Mr Bahng's eyes widen in disbelief. "Seriously?"
"Yeah … " Y/N replies. Her cheeks grow warmer by the second, and the faint touch from the older man's touch is sending her slowly but surely into a heated frenzy.
Mr Bahng smiles. He suddenly stands up and holds his hand out to her. "Come with me," he says.
Y/N stares at his hand; it's slender, veiny, and incredibly attractive. She takes his hand and he pulls her out her seat, lacing his fingers slowly through hers as he leads her down the length of the classroom to his large desk.
"One second," Mr Bahng lets go of her hand and walks to the classroom door; he locks it quietly before pulling down the blind over the small window. The man smiles when he turns around again, Y/N biting her lip as he seems to get taller and taller the closer he gets to her. "Better be careful, hmm?"
"Now, where were we?" Mr Bahng sits down in his large chair, his legs spread casually as he looks up at the girl. "Oh yes. Your first kiss. Come here, baby girl."
Baby girl. Y/N's mouth practically waters at the pet name; she suddenly feels very small and very shy in front of this man. She can't do anything but listen to him, letting his hands guide her so that she's suddenly sat straddling his lap, looking down at those intoxicating eyes of his.
With one hand, he caresses her jaw and brings her face closer to his - he cups her face before closing his lips over hers.
Y/N immediately moans; her body is pressed up against him and she can't help but arch her back further into him as his plump lips kiss hers, each stroke of his lips sending heat and shivers down her spine. His hands travel over her body and seem to stop over her ass where he slips fingers up her skirt before squeezing her plush behind.
"Mmm," Y/N moans into his mouth; Mr Bahng smiles as he seizes the opportunity to let the tip of his tongue stroke her lower lip. When she gasps, he slides his tongue inside her mouth and sucks her tongue gently, letting the wet muscle slide against hers in a manner that makes Y/N automatically grind her hips into his.
"Such a good little girl," Chan breathes as he moves his mouth against her jaw. His hands are large compared to her body and he easily cups her in them, the size difference only making Y/N melt further into a submissive pile of nerves. "Aren't you?"
"Yes, sir," Y/N whimpers. She's panting heavily with anticipation as the older man's head begins to duck further, his teeth ever so slightly grazing her throat. "I'm … a good girl."
"My good little girl," Mr Bahng continues; he's reached the collar of her shirt, and Y/N's chest is heaving with her shallow breaths. She watches with wide eyes and trembling thighs as Mr Bahng stares into her eyes, his slender fingers slowly unbuttoning her shirt to the middle. Once he's reached the middle of her torso, Mr Bahng slowly pushes the crisp material away and bites his lip at the sight of Y/N's breasts rising and falling against the cups of her pink bra.
"Sir … I feel … strange," Y/N breathes.
"What kind of strange, baby girl?" Mr Bahng asks as he ghosts his fingers over her deep cleavage. He palms his hands over them, pushing them up slightly and making Y/N's thighs squeeze around his.
"Like … I have a heartbeat down there," Y/N whispers. Her core seems to be pulsing and clenching with its own accord, the sensation making her squirm. "My tummy feels like it's full of butterflies."
Mr Bahng smiles as he strokes his fingers over her bra. "That's a good thing, baby girl. Let it happen."
With a moan of acknowledgement, Y/N watches as Mr Bahng pushes her bra down; her breasts spring free, swollen with pleasure and hard at the nipples. The sight is so wrong to her that it sends exhilaration down her body in pleasurable tingles as Mr Bahng begins to fondle her breasts.
When he leans forward and clamps his mouth around one of her enlarged nipples, Y/N whines. She looks down, watching in fascination as her math's teacher sucks her breasts seductively, his tongue trickling saliva all over her sensitive skin and making her continue to squirm all over his lap.
"You're such a pretty little thing," Mr Bahng groans around her breast. His other hand caresses the other one, his fingers flicking its nipple and sending waves of pain and pleasure through her skin. "I always wondered what your uniform was hiding."
Y/N's eyes widen; Mr Bahng laughs, and he suddenly picks her up from her lap before setting her down on the desk in front of him. "Surprised, little one? I don't know if I should admit this or not, but believe me … I've had plenty of boners thinking about it."
The stunned girl moans at his words; she gasps when he suddenly spreads her legs, her skirt flipping up over her thighs and exposing her drenched underwear. The pale pink is now a dark pink, and Mr Bahng's eyes flood with dark lust as he realises just how wet his favourite student is from his touch.
Mr Bahng pulls his chair closer to the desk before he rests his fingers on the insides of Y/N's thighs. "You smell so good, pretty baby," Mr Bahng groans; he slides his hands down her legs, gently snapping the tops of her stocks over her thighs and making the girl squeal from the feeling. He takes his time using his hands, massaging over legs before spreading them wider, and pushing them back so she's half laying on the desk.
"Let's get rid of this," Mr Bahng whispers against the curve of her thigh; his thumb pushes against the wet fabric of her underwear and Y/N jumps, her breasts shaking against her bra. She gulps as he pulls them down her legs, and when his eyes widen at the sight of her already dripping over his desk, she flushes.
Mr Bahng trails his fingers lightly over her folds; he parts them with both his hands, exposing her completely to him before he winks up at her. Then he closes the distance between her lower lips and his mouth, his lips kissing the top of her pulsating area before he licks over her wetness.
"Sir … " Y/N whines, her breath getting stuck in her throat as her teacher begins a slow rhythm of his tongue lapping at her folds. "What … what are you doing?"
"Shh, pretty baby girl," Mr Bahng hums against her citoris; his voice vibrates throughout her and she moans, her body shuddering. "Just focus on the feeling, okay? Sir is going to show his pet such a good time that she's going to come back begging for more at the end of every class."
Biting her lip at that, Y/N does as she's told. She gets rid of any more curious questions and watches through slitted eyes as he continues to push her folds apart, the very tip of his tongue licking against her swollen clit and the flat of his tongue lapping at her hole.
He slowly increases his pace, and with every lick, he moans against her folds; Mr Bahng breathes heavily as he smiles up at the girl who's a squirming mess on his desk, her cheeks red and her eyes fluttering shut as wonder floods her face with evident pleasure. The sight of her naked in his classroom makes his cock continue to strain against his trousers, and he moans as he continues to eat his student's pussy.
"Sir," Y/N suddenly pants; her eyes are wide and her thighs have begun to tremble even more. "It … it feels like … like I'm going to pee. It feels weird … "
"That's normal baby girl," Mr Bahng hums. "Don't hold it back … let everything go, my pretty girl."
His words seem to have a igniting effect on her body for she suddenly can't help but scream; her entire body tenses and she digs her fingernails into the wood of the desk as an overpowering sensation floods though. She feels as though she's burning in the best way, her core pulsing and clenching as pleasure continues to rip through her. It makes her breathless and she shuts her eyes, arching completely off of the desk as her breasts push against her shirt.
"Sir," Y/N half sobs; she looks down and is shocked when she sees the desk wet beneath her. She feels sticky, her ass slipping against the wood as she sits in her own release. "That felt … " she trails off, completely lost for words.
She's taken aback when Mr Bahng collects her juice with his fingers; after running them through her folds, he sucks the glistening liquid off of his fingers, and Y/N's eyes widen.
"You're such a good little girl, baby," Mr Bahng stands up then, and now that he's hovering over her naked form, Y/N shivers. "You taste so sweet … I could eat you for hours."
"Sir … " Y/N flushes again and looks away; she gasps when Mr Bahng cups her jaw and turns her face to look at him again, and when le leans down to kiss her mouth, she's shocked to taste herself on him.
Mr Bahng pulls back after a while, his hands squeezing her breasts. He kisses her forehead before he starts to slowly unbuckle his trousers, the leather and metal falling to the floor with a loud clang.
"Ready for the next part of your lesson, my pretty girl?" Mr Bahng strokes down her thighs and playfully slaps her ass; she bounces against the wood as she nods, wanting anything and everything this man can give her.
"Yes, please sir," Y/N moans.
She watches in a lust filled daze as Mr Bahng slowly pulls his cock out of his trousers; it's unlike anything Y/N thought it'd be like, and the way he's swollen on the tip of his long girth makes Y/N squirm further. She can feel herself growing wetter by the minute as she stares at Mr Bahng's hand wrapped around his cock, and she's sure she's almost about to drool.
"You think you can take sir's cock like a good girl?" Mr Bahng hovers over, gently stroking the head of his cock along her folds. "If you do, I'll reward you with another orgasm, baby girl."
"Yes," Y/N nods eagerly. "Yes, yes, yes."
"That's my girl," Mr Bahng cups her neck before he starts to push inside of her. "Oh, you're still so wet."
Y/N moans; the feeling is exquisite. He's as hot as she is, and the strange, smooth hardness pushing into her and moving her walls out of the way makes her buck her hips towards him. She's ever felt empty before, but with him slowly pushing inside of her, she suddenly feels full in a say she didn't know one could feel.
"Sir … " Y/N moans loudly; Mr Bahng throws her legs over her shoulders and he pulls her closer to her, her skirt half way up her stomach and her breasts bouncing with every movement. He smiles when he pulls out again, making Y/N cfy out at the feeling before he pushed in again, his balls slapping against her thighs.
"Baby girl, you're so adorable," My Bahng groans. "You're so tiny and yet you've taken all of my cock so well. Looks like you deserve a reward, hmm?"
Y/N nods with her wide eyes; she lets him hold the both of her wrists above her head as he starts to thrust into her, each thrust squelching wetly and filling the room with the most explicit sounds Y/N has ever heard.
"Sir it feels so good," Y/N chokes; her eyes have already begun to roll to the back of her head, not having yet come down from her previous high. "You feel so big."
With a loud groan, Mr Bahng suddenly pulls her thighs towards him; in a split second, she's on her knees on his chair, her breasts hanging over the top and her ass quivering in the air. She barely has time to process what just happened when she feels his hand fist in her hair at the nape of her neck, tugging lightly before he slams back into her again ftom behind.
They both gasp; the new position feels so different and Y/N can't help but let out a constant string of high pitched moans as Mr Bahng continues to pound onto her. Every stroke ensures the tip of his cock is stroking the sensitive spot inside of her, and soon Y/N is a whimpering, whining, completely flustered mess.
"Oh baby girl," Mr Bahng gently slaps her bouncing ass as he fucks her. She moans, the slap enhancing the pleasure and she begins to see white dots floating around her vision. "You're so beautiful. You're doing so well, my little baby."
She moans as she nods in acknowledgement; the same pressure from earlier has begun to build up inside of her and she grips hard onto the chair as Mr Bahng leans over her, his shirt cool against the hot of her back.
"Think you can cum all over sir's cock?" Mr Bahng whispers in her ear. The sight of her ass bouncing on his cock is making him struggle; the thought of being the first man to ever see her like this makes him shiver. "Let sir see his cock covered in his pet's juice."
"Yes, sir," Y/N gasps; two more thrusts later, she moans extraordinarily as her second orgasm rips through her. It's deeper this time, making her entire body shake and dip onto the chair, and she suddenly blacks out for a short while as the pleasure takes her to a completely different world.
"Good girl," Mr Bahng is panting, sounding almost strangled and incredibly sexy when she comes back to her senses. "You did such a good job, my baby girl."
Y/N can't help but smile as she collapses onto the seat; she doesn't even realise when Mr Bahng moves her again, and suddenly she's sat on his lap with him still inside of her. His shirt is suddenly gone and her cheek rests against his chest as his large arms wrap around her softly, hugging her as he lets her regain some of her strength.
"I'm so proud of you," he's whispering to her as he cards his fingers through her hair. He gently rubs circles into her back as he cradles her small body against his larger one. "I can guarantee none of your friends ever got fucked this good for their first time."
At that, Y/N can't help but giggle. She then yawns, and she curls her fingers over his chest as her core continues to clench around his cock. "Do I have to go now, sir?"
"No, baby girl," Mr Bahng kisses her temple. "You can stay here for as long as you want to."
Y/N smiles. She curls herself further around him, shutting her eyes. She doesn't particularly want to leave at all; something about this older man's aura has her in a chokehold, and she wants to stay with him inside of her for as long as she possibly can.
Even if he did mean what he said earlier …
Y/N swallows. Maybe seeing him everyday after class isn't such a bad idea.
---
Tag list ~ @koos-euphoria @es-kay-zee @raethethey @hugs4chan @hotmesshapa @manonblackbeak-trash @hendsernoodle @sir3racha @stanskzseungmin @loving-unicorns106 @ateez-babygirl @dalamjisung @dinosdawn @cookiemonstermusic258 @strwbrryfroyo @gazelle-des-pres @qtieskz @stigmvta @necromancersupreme @sulfurcosmos @super-btstrash-posts @changlix-mp4 @exonations @fluffybitch0325 @jeyelleohe @planetdemon @dani41 @jumbocircus @octalalica @velvetand-roses @foivetimesacharm @anaaam @waverzzzzzzzz @peachy-flxwr @lady-hunkyhair @justamessofablog @elizabeth11moreno @lenfilms @xhazmania @hotboyyeonjun @starshine-moon @justoutfromdead @snow-pegasus @lixiesbabyhands @chansbabydoll @serphinsquans @bbychannie97 (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)
Part one of the CSC series. You can find this series’ masterpost here. This can be read as a stand-alone, but you may have questions that will be answered in future installations. Keep in mind this is the intro.
There are three things you hate more than anything: 1. Your english Lit. professor, 2. Frat parties, and last but most definitely not least, 3. CollegeSluts.com and their founders. There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything: 1. College, 2. Back alley blowjobs, and 3. The frustrating desire to fuck you silly.
PAIRING: hyunjin x f!reader
GENRE: enemies to lovers; smut; crack; angst; college au
WC: 17k…. fear me! (also broke my record!!)
WARNINGS: reader is going through it and will continue to go through it. there’s no development for them at all in this installment i apologize (😭) reader calls skz sex-crazed demons, she’s very confused but not irrational, there’s not many warnings besides for the smut— profanity, alcohol consumption, mentions of alcoholism, annoying characters, insanely inexperienced reader, bet making, one-sided hatred, hyunjin wants to figure you out & thank god for that otherwise this series wouldn’t exist, sexual tension bottled up as hate bc yn is stupid. virgin/corruption kink, loss of virginity, overstimulation, dirty talking, unprotected sex…, creampie, fingering, pussy eating, teasing, breast play, and i think that’s it…
A/N: hi angels, i finished this in three days somehow and even though i didn’t plan on this being my post for 400, we hit it recently so this is it! and it’s fitting since a lot of people are waiting for this series <3 I hope you enjoy the first installment, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, my ask box, or in a reblog! & lmk if you want to be added to the taglist for this fic or my permanent one which is linked below! i hate writing the introduction to a fic and if you feel like this entire one-shot is pointless i promise it’s not 😭 there’s a lot of drama to come soon but i had to establish some things first!
i managed to make a playlist for this series! please enjoy 👩🏾💻
mlist; taglist; navi; | ⇦ previous | next ⇨
There are three things you hate more than anything.
Your english lit. professor
Frat parties
last, but most definitely not least, collegesluts. com and it’s founders.
It’s the literal bane of your existence, the reason why it’s so hard for you to sleep at night, and the one thing that makes your skin itch even more than the fuzzy sweaters your grandma knits every winter season.
Maybe if the creator of the site wasn’t such a douchebag, and maybe if the site users weren’t even worse, you wouldn’t abhor it as much as you did. But that’s a lot of maybes— ones that create a reality much different than your own and don’t make you feel much better.
You were first introduced to the hellsite in your second year of college— only made a year before. After you found out, age twenty hanging high over your head and no longer a fresh face in the school system, you’d tried and failed to get it shut down. Multiple times.
Happy, carefree people, would just ignore its existence— get on with their life, allow people to be college sluts in peace, but you couldn’t do that. Only you saw it for what it was, right? A sex site for college-goers to ruin their lives before it even started. Everyone else was too blissed out, a hand shoved in their pants every night as they watched their classmates fuck each other without fail. Only you could really see—
“Hello, can you hear!?”
Your eyebrows furrow at the voice behind you and your shoulders tighten when a finger pokes harshly at your skin.
“What?” You groan, rubbing the section of your arm that was unjustly abused. “Can you just be nice like a normal person?”
“Well, you’re an asshole so why would I be nice to you?”
“Fuck off Seungmin. What do you want?”
The only thing that betrays the fact that he heard you at all is the laugh that echoes behind you. Your chest tightens in response, and you fold your arms over your chest.
Kim Seungmin. A close fourth on your list of things you hate more than anything else. He was one of the users on the-site-that-must-not-be-named. A platinum member actually, a fact that always made your skin burn even in the coldest of weather. He was even friends with the site creators, and you wouldn’t doubt he had a hand in making it completely. He’d never been shy in supporting his use of the site, because nowadays regular cam sites were somehow uncool. He even had shirts with the college sluts logo in big, bold, letters. He was a part of one of the things you couldn’t stand. A big part of it even, but you ignored all that so you could call him your best— and one of your only— friends.
Kim Seungmin is first on the things you love, and that automatically removes him from the list of things you hate. When an arm slings itself across your shoulders you barely react, simply steering you both in the direction of your first class. It’s too early to deal with your best friend, and especially his toothy remarks and sarcasm, but you don’t say so and simply allow him to talk your ear off while you concern yourself with more important things.
Things like Hwang Hyunjin and Christopher Bang. The admins of College Sluts and the cause of the twitch in your brow. Sometimes the amount of hatred you felt for the two amazed you. To others, they were college boys— hotter than most, smart, talented, promiscuous. They had a good personality, a future, and were people a lot of other people got along with (and their other friends but you won’t get into that lest you pop a vessel).
To you, it’s agree to disagree. In short, they’ve got everyone totally fooled. Only sex-crazed low lifes actually managed to create a porn site. It’s one thing to think of it, sprawled around their dorm rooms knocked off their ass and barely sober, but it’s another thing to actually do it— work hard on it, execute such ideas— it’s completely baffling to you. How can no one see how perverted that is? You don’t even know what to call it, but the fire that erupts in your gut is enough to tell you that it’s bad.
There’s a bunch of girls and guys crowding around them, laughing and hugging and touching. Touching as if they were in the privacy of their home and not outside where others could see. It makes your chest heat up, and makes weird maggots swallow up your stomach, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. You hate it. They’re demons. Sex-crazed demons.
“God, I’m starting to think you’re like anti-sex or something.”
You grunt.
“Literally we’re just walking by and you look like you’re contemplating murder.”
You hum.
“Jesus,” Seungmin sighs, shaking his head before waving over at his friends. More like his sinner acquaintances. Don’t get it wrong, you’re not overly religious or particularly shameful— despite how you might seem— but it’s something about that entire group (Seungmin sometimes included) that makes you feel like breaking something. Choking something? Crying? Screaming? You’re not sure anymore.
When you catch Hyunjin’s eye he smirks and you frown. Just the sight of him is enough to make your head hurt and your knees weak. At least, that makes sense to you. The rest of the student body? Not so much.
You hoist your bag up on your shoulder and tear your gaze away from him. Your building isn’t much farther and if you squint really hard you can pretend you don’t see Hyunjin approaching from the corner of your eye. It’s a hot day and when he sidles up to you, shoulders almost touching, it gets much hotter.
“Hey,” he greets, slapping palms with Seungmin and holding one down low for you. Your hand hesitates, almost greeting him in return before you slap his arm and send a glare his way.
“Bye,” you grit, turning your head away from him and grabbing at Seungmin’s arm. “I have somewhere to be.”
“Loosen up!” He calls, his long legs easily catching up to your fast pace. “I just wanted to say hi to my favorite girl.”
Your breath stutters the tiniest bit but you ignore it, not bothering to grant that remark an answer. Hyunjin is flirty. Too flirty. Stupid flirty. The kind of flirty that gets girls like you all riled up even when you’re supposed to be hating him, even when you’re supposed to curse the very ground he walks on, and it just makes the dreadful maggots in your system start up their annoying fluttering.
Seungmin doesn’t say anything, even when your grip on his arm tightens at a painful rate. You will your heart to stop beating so damn hard and for your entire body to stop reacting so easily to him. You don’t even know him so why does he hold so much influence over you? Someone like him? Someone who spends their time and their intelligence on a haphazard college porn site? No. No way.
“What do you want, Hyunjin?”
The devil with the long brown hair, and soft cheeks, and cute dimples takes the chance to lean close to your ear, making sure you hear whatever it is he has to say.
“Don’t be too mad at me, bug. I just wanted to tell you that you look gorgeous today.” Hyunjin pats your cheek, smiling before he leans away, turning back the way he came.
“See you later.”
And that’s that. The sex demon comes to set your cheeks ablaze and leaves once he’s done, letting you deal with your muddled feelings on your own. Once you start walking again, ignoring the stare boring into your cheeks and the confusing pounding of your heart, there’s only three words on your mind.
Fuck Hwang Hyunjin.
There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything:
1. College
2. Back alley blowjobs
3. The frustratingly clear desire he has to fuck you silly.
Hyunjin isn’t sure when he realized it exactly. He doesn’t even know why he reacts to you so strongly. If you were anyone else he probably wouldn’t give you a second glance. He’s sure of it. Maybe it’s the desire to want something you can’t have, or the fact that you aren’t groveling at his feet.
It’s not like Hyunjin has any idea of why exactly you’re so hellbent on hating his guts, nor does he really care all that much. So you don’t like College Sluts, that’s your right as is anyone else’s, but it’s not like he’s shoving the damn shit in your face. He minds his business, manages his porn site, and does it all with a smile on his face. You, though? It’s a miracle he’s seen you smile once. And that was when he wasn’t paying attention and knocked into someone carrying a full tray of food.
Chan laughs at him all the time and so does Minho, wondering if he has some weird kink for wanting people who clearly don’t want him back, but more and more he’s thinking that isn’t the case. He’s always been bold, always been a bit flirty even when he wasn’t trying, and he knows he’s easy on the eyes. It’s not a secret, but your reaction to him isn’t one of disdain or clear attraction, but rather confusion, and that confuses him.
He flips the mic in his hands, switching between cradling it and flinging it every which way. The speakers of the karaoke system effectively drag him from his thoughts as the music gets louder and Jisung spins Felix around on their makeshift stage. Whoops and hollers echo from around them, the rest of their friends cheering at the performance in front of them. Hyunjin can’t bring himself to laugh even as a smile threatens to take hold of his features.
“Yo, what’s up with you?” Jisung plops down beside him, slinging an arm around Hyunjin's shoulders as puffs of breath leave his lips. “You’ve been sitting here brooding. What’s going on?”
“I don’t brood,” Hyunjin argues, though he maneuvers his body so he can tell Jisung exactly what has him brooding. “It’s just— I’m still thinking about Y/n.”
“Bro.”
“It doesn’t seem weird to you?”
“Weird that she’s just not interested? This is a new low, Hyunjin. Not everyone is gonna be attracted to you—”
“I know, but that’s not what I’m saying. Doesn’t her whole attitude towards us seem a bit excessive? All over a website.”
“It’s not your typical website.”
“Sung, it’s probably one of the safest porn sites out there because of how exclusive it is. No one but students here can get on it.”
“Does she know that?”
“That’s my point,” Hyunjin sighs, running a hand through his hair before starting again. “If she doesn’t even know the full details of the site, how can she possibly hate it? Hate us?”
Jisung pauses, looking back towards the stage. It’s true that all eight of them have thought about this at least once. They know there’s people who hate the website, who steer clear of it in all instances, but none who have made petitions and gone to the superintendent requesting an audience about it. No one who’s actively been so hateful to them specifically, refusing to look in their direction unless it’s to send a glare their way.
“Maybe there's another reason?” Jisung offers, sending Hyunjin a sideways glance. “I mean, maybe she just hates porn.”
Hyunjin snorts at that. How can anyone hate porn?
“You’re laughing but I’m dead serious. Has she ever even had a partner?”
“How the fuck would I know?”
“You think about her 24/7. I wouldn't be surprised if you knew what she ate for breakfast.”
“Not fucking funny.”
Jisung barks out a laugh, falling over into Hyunjin’s space. “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.”
Hyunjin isn’t so sure but he nods anyway, allowing Jisung to go back to the stage for the next song. Hyunjin knocks back his drink, throat constricting barely at the bitter taste. He doesn’t care. He really doesn’t, but there’s something weird about your behavior and he’s more than determined to figure it out. Maybe he needs to just mind his business but fuck that, he thinks, no one is gonna hate him for no reason. Maybe he’s a little too riled up at that, maybe Jisung is right and this is a new low. Maybe he just really can’t deal with rejection well. Maybe.
Minho’s screeching into the mic does it’s hardest to ruin Hyunjin’s night, but the way the rest of his friends tackle him and attempt to steal the mic just makes him laugh, leaving a warm feeling in his chest. This is all he needs— his friends and a good drink to put a smile on his face. And the college porn site he worked very hard on, of course.
The group only gets through a few more songs before they decide to leave, deciding to ignore the fact that some of them have classes in six hours or that they’ll be nursing a bad headache for the entirety of it. Hyunjin is one of them. He laughs along with his friends as they walk, and he watches them from where he stands in the back.
Jisung has his phone out and is making a concerned face, typing furiously on the device. Either they’re having technical issues or his girlfriend is getting on his ass once again. Minho has an arm slung around his shoulders, laughing at whatever it is he’s typing and whoever it is that’s typing back. Next to them Felix and Jeongin have joined hands and Felix swings them back and forth, giggling as he does. Jeongin pretends he doesn’t like it, like usual, but Hyunjin notices the hint of a smile on his face. He always notices.
Chan and Changbin are quiet on either side of him, walking in the tranquil quiet that’s always rare for their group. It feels incomplete— Hyunjin wishes Seungmin could’ve come. He doesn’t know how the boy manages to be friends with the creators of the CSC and also be friends with its #1 hater. Maybe he’s selling secrets, telling you everything about the site, all its loopholes and glitches. Maybe he’s working against them now, coming up with a plan to shut them down once and for all, though Hyunjin doesn’t know if that’s possible.
Right after those thoughts trickle into his mind, he thinks about Seungmin wearing the handmade “merch” for the site, and doesn’t entertain them any longer. It would be ridiculous— even for him— to think that someone who repped college sluts like it was their brand would ever work even harder to tear it away.
The knot in his throat that’s been squeezing at his airways since earlier that night relaxes just a little. He’s never actually said this to anyone, but just as much as he thinks about why you hate him, he thinks about whether Seungmin will hate him too; about if he’ll lose a friend due to reasons he’s not even sure of. As much as he thinks about why you hate him so badly, he thinks about why he doesn’t hate you right back. He wonders why he— instead of wanting nothing to do with you— wants to know everything about you. Why he wants to understand you when you’ve made no effort to understand him, or worse, made up your own mind about who he is without even attempting to entertain the idea that maybe you’re wrong.
Hyunjin has lived his whole life suffering from other people's ideas of him, from their expectations that they held with no prior consultation with him, from the perfect picture of him in their minds that didn’t correlate with the real Hyunjin. He’s had his fair share of wondering, thinking, wanting. And it’s disappointing to see how even after all this time, since childhood, nothing has changed. He’s always wanted what he’s not allowed to have, but it’s not for lack of trying.
They don’t arrive at their frat house quick enough. As soon as the door opens into the building Hyunjin feels like falling asleep on the couch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he’s also not sure what last happened on that couch. Between spilled drinks and sex that was too rushed to even make it to a bedroom he’d rather take his chances on an actual bed. Chan doesn’t bother to turn the lights on when he comes in, and the seven of them shuffle around each other, spilling into the living room or into the kitchen to grab drinks and snacks as if they didn’t just come back from eating.
Hyunjin knows he’s been distant all night but he can’t be bothered to care as he sends a quick good night his friends’ way and makes his way upstairs. The house holds eight other boys besides them and he’s surprised none of them are downstairs or hanging around even at the late hour. Though, Hyunjin reasons, most of them have girlfriends and the few others that don’t are seniors and probably pull all-nighters in the library or some shit.
Hyunjin doesn’t want to think about that. The year only started back up again a few months ago, he doesn’t need to be thinking about work anymore than he already does. He makes a good living even without a real job, so he’s taking shit day by day. It’s not like anyone else is much different. Most of his seniors are cramming because they were so carefree. Hyunjin doesn’t think about the implications of that either.
The softness of his bed is long overdue and his body sinks into the plush bedding. He strips off his shirt and pants, not bothering to make his way to a shower or put pajamas on or do anything really. He has five hours before he needs to wake back up and this is nothing if not a power nap that won’t help him get through any lectures the next day. Or, later that day rather.
Hyunjin doesn’t concern himself with that though, because there’s only one thing that’s on his mind when he falls asleep and when he wakes up, and that’s what he’s going to say to you tomorrow morning in the first class of the day.
The first thing you manage to think of when you wake up is how best you’re going to ignore Hyunjin today. You’ve been brainstorming, wondering which response will humble him the best, maybe make him speechless for long enough that you can get away. If only those getaways could last forever, you sigh, pulling a fitted tee over your head. It’s low-cut, makes your cleavage pop just a little bit more, and you add a necklace for that exact reason.
You’re not the sex-crazed demon that the CSC most definitely are, but you do like a little attention every now and again even if you don’t get that much action. Or any, really, and you’re just fine with that. It’s one of the reasons why you don’t like the CSC. There’s no reason to sexify everything, and that’s exactly what they do. People can get by just fine without it.
Just fine? Seungmin would probably jab, but he’s not here right now and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You are just fine, but the mention of the-site-that-must-not-be-named just fills your stomach with stones and ignites your nerves like nothing else does. To you, that’s more than enough proof that it’s the CSC’s fault— not yours.
Anyway, today is the day you have to see Hyunjin bright and early, which always manages to set your day off to a bad start. No one should have to deal with him at this time of day, or any time of day, and you pity the ones that do. Seeing Chan isn’t rare, but he doesn’t talk to you like Hyunjin does. He stares every now and again, gives you a lazy smirk, and is generally sexy as much as it pains you to admit it, but he doesn’t bother you. Though you know he probably talks about you. His stares are too knowing, way too insightful even when you don’t really know each other.
The rest of the boys you’ve talked to on a few occasions. They aren’t as insufferable, but they are associated with Hyunjin and Chan and are, in fact, involved in the upkeep of the-site-that-must-not-be-named. To you, that’s more than enough reason to at the least dislike them. You don’t hold soft spots for any of them, except maybe Felix who seems way too sweet to be a sex demon, but then again, it’s always the nice ones.
Besides, it doesn’t matter what they say to you or don’t say, or if they look at you or not, or if they even know you exist. It really doesn’t matter. You shake the thoughts from your head vigorously, ashamed at the fact that you spent the first hour of your morning on them. It’s unbecoming of you. It’s good to remind yourself not to actively concern yourself with any of them, and simply fight for the site’s demolition like you’ve been doing.
Seungmin says you have no life, but Seungmin also wears T-shirts with cartoonish, glittery pink boobs and the site’s name in glittery cursive letters. You don’t think Seungmin should have an opinion.
The last time you attempted to do anything about the site was roughly two months ago, a month after school started back. You took your time to settle in, fall into a routine, and get your work and classes in order before resuming your mission. It was arduous, brainstorming and juggling school work, but it was your responsibility since no one else would work hard enough.
A quick shuffle through any of your things would tell people you were a perfectionist— articulate in your placement of items and the way you did things. Even taking the time to plan certain outings to a T, determined to make sure everything goes well. It’s not a secret how obsessive you get over things and how uncomfortable or incomplete you feel when things don’t go your way, when you have to follow someone else’s idea of how things should work. It’s the reason why most people don’t get along with you because to them you’re too controlling, too compulsive and dominating.
When you were a child that fact had bothered you. It was confusing— that was just your nature, and you wouldn’t have survived your childhood without it based on the way your parents lived. When kids would shun you, treat you like something sticky at the bottom of their shoe, it hurt your young heart. You felt apologetic simply for acting the way you always felt like you should act, for doing the things that left you satisfied after. Now, in college, no one demands classmates to get along, no one can shun you in the cafeteria and force you to eat in the library. If they don’t like you it’s fine with you, frankly it doesn’t matter. You have one goal and one goal only, and once that’s over with you can move on.
When you step out of your dorm the sun is blinding, shining down with unforgiving rays of light. All you can do is squint, tilt your head down a little and wish you had a hat. The walk to the Art’s building is long, but feels longer with how warm it is. The heat shimmies its way under your clothes and into your skin, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.
The scenery on the walk there is always breathtaking though, the pavement that makes up the pathway to the building is closed in by blades of grass that have been cut and trimmed to perfection. Rocks make up the border between them— large smooth stones that vary in size but are more or less the same oval shape. There’s an entire garden full of all types of flowers, Gardenias, Lilies, Irises, Tulips, and even some you can’t name. At the entrance of the building there are bright lights that illuminate at least 25 feet in front of it at night, and wide hedges that have been designed to look like swans, their necks curved in a way that if they were moved next to each other they’d be forming a heart. White flowers grow inside the hedges serving to make the entire scene look more beautiful, and as much as you hate walking there, the view is unmatched.
The Art building has always been your safe haven, Art in general being your home away from home. It took a long time for you to feel comfortable studying it— always caught up in the what if. What if you can’t make a living from it? What if you end up not liking it as you grow older? What if it’s not a sustainable career? Questions that still plague you often, and stop you from putting as much of your heart in it as you’d wish. These classes are somewhat self-indulgent. A way for you to escape from the hectic mess that is your life, away from the stress of work, from the anxiety of what comes next, and from the infuriating instances that continue without your control— away from the things you can’t control so you can run to things you can. So imagine your horror when you found out Hwang Hyunjin was in the same class as you. At the same time. Doing the same thing.
It felt like your escape wasn’t yours anymore, and that the stress from your day followed you everywhere you went. It wasn’t enough for Hyunjin to pester you often— he had to be everywhere you were too.
You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, setting your shoulders and regain the poise you take pride in– carrying yourself with the confidence you wish you had. It doesn’t take long for you to make your way to the entrance of the building, as you walk, having been kissed by the scorching light of the sun and brushed against by dewy blades of grass. It feels surreal and staggering to be outside alone so early in the morning, yet peaceful, for you know that it will be long before you get this chance again.
“Bug!”
Oh no. no no no. You walk faster, hoping to make it inside before Hyunjin can catch up to you. Hyunjin is never this early. He either comes right on time or late to the frustration of your teachers and peers although no one would ever say it to his face. You can hear his feet against the pavement louder and louder as he comes closer to you, catching up just when you take the first step up the stairs to the entrance.
“You didn’t hear me, bug?”
“Stop calling me bug.”
“Sorry, bug,” Hyunjin laughs, putting a heavy arm over your shoulders and bringing you closer.
You roll your eyes so hard it feels like they’re gonna stick. Maybe they should so you don’t ever have to see Hyunjin again. Maybe he’d think you look scary like that, your eyes rolled up forever. Maybe then he’d leave you alone.
Hyunjin is annoying. He always acts like you’re his friend, but you know it’s fake because why would he want to be friends with you, someone who hates everything he works hard on and hates him as well to an extent. It seems overly fake and forced to you, so you don’t ever entertain it. The last thing you need is to fall for it and then be made out to look like an idiot when he eventually embarrasses you.
“It’s too early.”
“It’s never too early, pretty.”
“It’s always too early to be dealing with you,” You groan, wrenching his arm away from where it laid over your shoulders. “Why are you talking to me?”
“Why not?” Hyunjin asks, seemingly unaffected by your attitude towards him. He shoves his hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised up to his chin in a shrug. “I like talking to you.”
You snort, looking up at him with eyebrows raised, “You like talking to me, the one person— possibly in this world— who absolutely hates you, and barely spares you the time of day?” You ask, tilting your head in mock confusion. “I’m sure this is the longest we’ve ever had a conversation, but nice try.” You squeeze his cheeks, hard, and when he swats your hand away you can’t help the giggle that you let out. If his cheeks felt like dough under your fingers you’re choosing to ignore that, wiping a hand on your jeans with way more intensity than needed.
“But see,” Hyunjin starts again, “We’re having a conversation right now and neither of us wanna choke each other.”
“Speak for yourself. I’m barely resisting the urge to punt your head like a baseball.”
It’s silent for a moment before you both burst out into a fit of giggles. Hyunjin braces himself against his knees as he laughs, his hair falling over his face as he does, and you’re not much better— staggering where you stand to laugh with him. It only takes a few seconds for you both to calm down, and slowly the reality of what happened catches up to you.
“Do you even punt baseballs?” Hyunjin snorts, and you just laugh harder.
“I don’t know, Hyunjin, if you haven’t noticed I’m at the arts building not sports.” You wheeze, fighting through another laugh. “Now I’m just imagining your head flying over the gardens.”
Hyunjin lets out another chuckle but shivers a bit at the thought. He waits for you to calm down, your giggles turning into small huffs. A hint of a smile still remains on your cheeks, and the sun shines down so strongly on your features it feels like he’s seeing an angel— like divinity right in front of his eyes. When you straighten up, he can see every movement. The way you position your bag upright, the way a bit of your gums poke out from your lips. Your lips, soft, glossy, and look the most perfect in a smile. He can see the way your eyebrows lose the tension from your laughing fit, the way the crinkle of your eyes lessen as your face relaxes. He can see everything, so he can also see when your lips fall back into a firm line, when your eyebrows go back to that angry stance they always hold when you’re around him. The way your shoulders stiffen, and the grip on your bag tightens. He can see everything, and he reminds himself the only time you laugh is when he’s the butt of the joke.
“I’m going to class,” You murmur, walking the rest of the way up the stairs and into the building without looking back or waiting for him to respond. Though Hyunjin wonders what he would’ve even said.
I’ll come with you.
We can sit together.
No, you both can’t do anything together, and more and more Hyunjin wonders why he even wants to.
“You were laughing with Hwang Hyunjin? The sex demon??” Your friend hisses from next to you, stringing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You?”
“Yes, me, Jieun.” You huff. “I can barely believe it either. What did he do to me? I hate him, I can’t show weakness by laughing around him.”
“Honey,” Jieun laughs, leaning towards you, “You can laugh. Honestly the fact that you ran away after is hilarious.”
“I didn’t run away.”
“You ran away.”
“I didn’t run.”
Jieun settles on you with a heavy stare, face slack, and you roll your eyes. “Fine, I walked away.”
“I don’t know how either of you take each other seriously.”
“I don’t take him seriously.”
“Yeah you do, babe. You refuse to laugh around him. That’s very serious.”
You snort.
“And the fact that he gives you the time of day when this is the dumbest feud possible… I just don’t understand it.”
“It’s not dumb.” You sputter, smoothing your hand over the glossy wooden desk of the classroom. “It’s…” You trail off, staring into the large windows at the side of the room. You cock your head and lean forward, jaw slack when the sex demon himself waves outside. “Oh what a stalker.” You growl, throwing up the middle finger in his direction. “He’s got his little posse following him too.”
When Jieun makes to wave back you smack the back of her head and groan when she gives you an affronted look.
“What was that for?” Jieun exclaims, bringing a hand up to rub against the back of her head.
“Don’t fraternize with the enemy,” You hiss, folding your arms over your chest and staring back at your professor.
“Are you gonna explain the feud—”
“No.”
In your opinion, class doesn’t end quickly enough. You split with Jieun at the entrance, the both of you going in opposite directions, and attempt to reorder your frazzled mind. So you laughed. A lot of people laugh at people they hate. Plus, he laughed too— so why should you be overthinking it? You’ve laughed before, in situations you weren’t supposed to, and this is no different. Now you just need to make sure it never happens again. You nod to yourself as you walk, pulling out your phone to make sure Seungmin is already at the meeting spot.
The sun is still just as ruthless as it was earlier, but a light breeze grazes your skin and rustles the trees along the sidewalk and in the field in front of you. There’s a bunch of picnic tables, some occupied and some of them not. There’s groups of friends sitting under trees, some couples, some of them alone; reading or completing assignments in the nice weather. You spot Seungmin a few tables down, a brown sweater over a collared shirt and cute glasses perched upon his nose.
You take your time walking to the table, letting your skin soak in the warmth and tranquil peace of nature. When Seungmin spots you he shuffles over, giving you some space to sit next to him and you do, mumbling a small hey before knocking your head against the table.
“You’re going to a party with me.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Seungmin… Hi, how are you? How was your day? No, I’m not.”
“I wasn’t asking.”
“Well, unless you’re going to drag me, no I’m not.”
“I just might,” Seungmin sighs, “Why are you so difficult?”
“Difficult? You’re the one being difficult. I don’t want to go and you’re telling me it’s not a choice.”
“Because it’s not.”
You let out a groan, a long torturous one that has people turning their head to a straight faced Seungmin and you who’s head is still knocked against the table. When people think it’s stopped it starts all over again, a guttural groan filled with displeasure and frustration that loosens your chest when it’s done.
“Are you done?”
“Leave me alone.”
“It’s on Saturday. I can pick you up.” Seungmin says instead of arguing.
“Today’s Thursday.” You whine, just stopping yourself from letting out another groan— one that wouldn’t ever stop for as long as you have to deal with Kim Seungmin and his annoying, snarky, bossy self.
“…. I’m aware.” Seungmin says, and you don’t even have to look at him to know he’s making a face like and so what?
“I can’t stand you, I hope you know that. No type of warning, no preparation… I don’t party. I need at least two weeks to mentally prepare myself and another two weeks to get an outfit.”
“Damn.” Seungmin says, but he rubs a hand against your back, lightly pushing you to lift your head from the table. “Listen, I’ll help you. And it’s being thrown by people I know so you don’t have to worry. I don’t think many people throw college parties a month in advance but I’ll keep that in mind.”
All you can do is nod, waiting patiently as Seungmin finishes whatever assignment he’s working on. You’ve already completed the ones you have, the pro of not having much else to do and being on top of things always. Everyday you both meet up here, either at a table or under one of the trees and talk. Read, finish assignments, or even eat snacks. There have been some times where you meet there and then go somewhere else together, rarely off campus but it happens, and you get something to eat or go on a mini adventure. It’s the highlight of your day and you’re sure it is for Seungmin too, but you’d never admit that to each other. You don’t have to, though, because you’re both always on the same wavelength especially when it counts the most.
Though now he’s given you something else to worry about, that being this sudden party. It’s no doubt being held by a frat house, and you have an inkling which house it is. You haven’t asked, trying not to pop the bubble of secureness that surrounds you. You can go to a party being held by the CSC. You can, and you will, and if it isn’t being held by them then that’s even better. You try to convince yourself you really don’t care at all, but the thought remains. Can you really enjoy yourself at a party being held by them? You don’t know why it bothers you so much or why you feel so uncomfortable having a good time around them, but you just keep repeating the same thing to yourself over and over. It doesn’t matter.
“Jieun told me what happened this morning.”
“Of course she did.” You sigh, staring ahead at the group of squirrels running up a tree. The people under it startle when leaves start to fall over their heads. “We just left each other, how did she find the time to text you all that?”
“She called me,” Seungmin cackles, braces on full display as he scribbles furiously into his notebook. “Every story I hear about you and Hyunjin is against my will.”
“Every interaction between me and Hyunjin is against my will,” You counter, shifting so that you face him. “What did she say?”
“That you laughed with him and it embarrassed you. That you’re confused about your feelings towards him.”
“So are you two my therapists now? I’m not confused. I don’t like the things he does— I don’t like his carefree attitude, how he has no problem talking to me like we’re friends. I don’t like- No, I hate the fact that so many people fucking praise him because he created some crude porn site.”
Your heart rate picks up, your hand gripping at your jeans as a poor attempt to conceal your growing frustration. “I don’t like the fact that no one else sees what’s wrong with it. We shouldn’t have a fucking porn site for college students? I don’t think we should know what we all look like under our clothes and I’m tired of everyone acting like I'm the crazy one. He’s the perverted one, the weird one. Who the fuck thinks of something like that? It’s not just him, it’s all of them.”
Seungmin ponders your words, the grip on his pen tightening ever so slightly. “Hyunjin is a good guy. All of them are, and if that’s how you feel then why do you talk to me? I use the site, I'm their friend, I’ve helped them out when making it. Aren’t I weird and perverted too?”
You sigh, “Seungmin…”
“Help me understand. Because if you can stand to be around me, then why can’t you be around them? Or try.”
“It isn’t the same and you know it. It’s easy to ignore it when it’s you. That’s them. They are the CSC to me. A reminder of everything I hate, what I want to get rid of.”
“But why the hell does it matter? People want to use the site and that’s why they do. No one is fucking forcing it.”
“You guys just don’t understand it. None of you do. It’s like you’re blinded by it or something.”
“We’re grown adults, Y/N,” Seungmin growls, “We don’t need you to be a guardian fucking angel.”
“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy, just because all you fucking care about is sex or some college sluts, like can you actually be that shallow?”
“Why is it so hard for you to see reason? Do you see how angry you’re getting at me for asking a simple question? You asked me what Jieun said and I told you.” Seungmin spits, shutting his book with a slam.
“Stop asking me about that site. Stop making me seem like some confused hateful person just because you’re too dense to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not confused, I know exactly how I feel. I try not to bring it up because you like the damn thing so much, and you can’t seem to hold the same courtesy for me.” You stand from the seat, settling a dark glare at Seungmin’s angered form.
“Fuck your friends, fuck that site. Stop talking about me like I need guidance.”
You’re not irrational. You’re not. You have every right to be angry. Seungmin is your friend. Jieun is your friend. They’re supposed to be there for you, not gang up on you. You feel alone, so alone in everything you fight for, in everything you aim to conquer— as if the things you stand for don’t matter. It reminds you of middle school all over again, of high school— having people look at you like you were something from another planet. Someone people had always failed to understand. It’s lonely. You’re not irrational.
You didn’t blow up. You’re not angry. You’re frustrated, yes, but you don’t blow up. You don’t get mad. You aren’t irrational. Anyone else in your position would feel the same, right? Anyone else would be upset because it feels like your friends always take the side of the people you despise more than anyone else. Why aren’t they on your side? Why don’t they believe you? Why don’t they understand? It makes you feel stupid. It makes you feel like you have no right to feel the way you do. It’s lonely.
You’ve never been irrational. You’ve always had a good grip on your feelings. Always. And when it feels like the grip loosens it’s always the cause of something relating to the CSC. It’s proof that it’s what the root of your problems is. It’s proof that the CSC needs to be gone so you can finally go back to normal. So you don’t feel like the odd one out. So you don’t have to feel so upset. Because you’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way. You don’t get mad. You’re not angry. You don’t blow up.
You control everything, you control your actions, your emotions, and you make sure to hold control over your environment— of how things play out for every second of your life. This feels like it’s running out of control. That the CSC brings havoc in your life no matter what— even when you try to ignore it, it comes running back to fuck you over even further. You’re not irrational. You’re not confused. You don’t get mad. You don’t. You don’t blow up. You control everything.
The sun hides right when you need it. You pretend tears don’t blur your vision, you pretend that the suddenly gloomy environment doesn’t affect you the way it does. You pretend that the once comforting breeze doesn’t feel sharp against your exposed skin. You pretend because when things run out of control that’s all you can do. Pretend you’ve got it handled, pretend that you still have a grip on things, pretend that you understand. You’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way.
You never argue with Seungmin. Playful bickering from time to time or you two being rude to each other but always playfully. You’ve never cursed at him so maliciously, spoken to him like he was someone random, as if he wasn’t your best friend. You’ve never done those things— but you do when the CSC is involved. You never get pissed at Jieun, even when she’s annoying, even when she acts like the only thing important in life is the new boy she’s talking to— You don’t get mad. You’re not mad now, but you’re something. Something fiery, and everything always goes back to the CSC. You’re not irrational. You’re just the only one who understands.
Right when you see the blurry form of your dorm building it gets blocked by a large body and you slam right into its chest. You can barely see in front of you and you know your face is screwed up into the worst form imaginable, tears falling with no control. Without your control.
“Sorry, excuse me,” You laugh wetly, sidestepping whoever is blocking your way and running up the steps to your dorm. The sooner you fall into your bed and cry this out, the sooner you can forget about it. The sooner you can apologize and move past this weird limbo of feelings. It feels like purgatory, stuck in the in between, not sure which direction you’ll end up going in. It’s full of unsureness, of frustration. It feels like a loss of control. It angers you, makes you feel like nothing is going right.
But you don’t get angry. You’re not irrational. You don’t get mad. You pretend, because that’s all you can do.
Hyunjin is confused.
The last thing he expected to see this morning was you laughing, but now, he realizes the last thing he ever expected to see was you crying. Eyes glossy with tears, a nose rubbed raw, face screwed up into something pitiful.
Hyunjin doesn’t know a lot of things. He doesn’t expect a lot of things, but most of all he doesn’t know how to continue after seeing it. He doesn’t expect to care so much, not after the way you’ve regarded him. After the way you’ve both regarded each other. He doesn’t know why he can’t walk away and say nothing when he knows he should. If he brings it up you’ll get defensive, be embarrassed, be angry. He shouldn’t say anything.
He keeps walking, frowning slightly at the gloomy clouds. It was so sunny less than an hour ago. Things change so quickly, it doesn’t make any sense. He thinks back to earlier that morning, the light that shone on your face with every laugh you let out. He thinks back to just a few seconds ago. How dark shadows fell over your face as tears ran down your cheeks.
The walk is more automatic than anything else. He doesn’t take the time to stare at the scenery, he doesn’t look at the people around him. He barely sees the ground in front of him as he walks, his mind not registering what’s right in front of his face. He’s too caught up in you. Like usual, wondering why you do the things you do, why you feel the way you feel, wanting to understand. What did he do? What can he do to make you feel better? How can he make you hate him any less? He wants to understand, he wants to listen, to talk to you, to be near you. It confuses him.
His phone vibrates, pulling him from his thoughts. It’s chan, texting about the party on Saturday, and he sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He’s so tired, tired of running around for parties, tired of attending to the site, tired of waking up early for classes. He just wants a second to sit down and relax, to not worry about you ruining the one thing he’s worked hard for, to not worry about what class he’s flunking, about what party he’s expected to attend, to not worry about why you were crying in the middle of the afternoon. He just wants a moment to collect his thoughts and free his mind.
HJ: I got it
BC: alr cool, put it in the cabinet with the lock, you know how Hyunjoon gets
HJ: Fuck, is it that bad?
BC: he’s an alcoholic bud, it’s that bad.
Hyunjin laughs a little, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He wonders if Seungmin told you about the party yet and grimaces, wondering if that’s the reason why you were crying. If it is, he’s not sure who needs to get a grip. You, for hating him so bad, or him for continuing to try and get you not to. It takes a lot of effort for him to continue the power walk back to the frat, but he arrives sooner than later, stuffing the bag of drinks inside the cabinet and locking it shut. He thinks it’s a bit ridiculous that they have to lock the alcohol up as if they have small kids running around, and also wonders the effectiveness when Hyunjoon lives in a frat house and is an adult who can buy his own alcohol.
It’s Thursday afternoon but he finds that he’s not as excited for a party as he should be. Usually, he’d be bouncing on his heels, counting down the hours for it to start, and realizing he’s so caught up in everything else going around he doesn’t feel that normal excitement that he so often does. He makes sure to fix that, shaking the unnecessary thoughts from his head, pushing responsibilities to later. He has a party to prepare for and he's gonna act like it.
The rest of the boys don’t get back till later— they’d given Hyunjin the responsibility of buying cups and drinks and shitty snacks while they went off somewhere else. Hyunjin can’t keep track of what they do especially if he’s not joining, so he focuses on doing what he’s supposed to in order to make this the best party of the year so far. His frat has always held the record of best parties— has always held their winnings in high regard as well, and he’ll be damned if he gets the cold shoulder if he’s the reason the party isn’t as good as it should be. Most of all, he’s thinking about what he’s gonna do during it.
Hyunjin is not shy on having sex— never has been, never will be, and more often than not he’s having it. Sure, that may be expected since he made a literal porn site, but Jisung also had a hand in it and he has a girlfriend. Felix doesn’t have one-night stands often, nor does Seungmin. It’s different for all of them.
He knows there’s a few girls that have been actively trying to get in his pants, knows that he’s been trying to get into theirs, but he can only hope he can focus on them for long enough to do so without thinking about you. If you come, he knows that there’s no chance he’ll think of anything else, and he’ll probably spend the entire night just getting you to laugh again. To get you to explain to him why. why why why. It’s confusing, but he pretends it doesn’t matter.
Thursday comes and goes too quickly, and Friday does as well. The day isn’t over yet, it’s only the afternoon, but the implications of that make you anxious. Make your nerves ignite far more than they should.
Seungmin didn’t answer your calls for the rest of that Thursday. Didn’t read or respond to a single text until you decided to leave him alone. Jieun called, but you didn’t answer. You think the way you felt towards her is the way Seungmin felt towards you. Maybe something worse, so you gave him space and took some for yourself, a moment to really think about what made you react the way you did. You don’t think you’re in the wrong, you still don’t think you could’ve reacted any other way and you’re not sure what that says about you.
You take another bite of your sandwich as you walk down the street from the Art store, your phone cradled in your other hand and a drink poking out from the opening in your bag. It’s hard to mentally prepare for things that you don’t know anything about. You don’t know where the party is, who’s hosting it, how long you’re expected to stay. Thought that’s if you’re even still going. You want to take Seungmin’s silence as an answer that no, you aren’t, but you also don’t want to assume that and then he shows up at your door and you’re not ready.
You don’t want to go, not at all, but if it made Seungmin happy then you would. If he didn’t come to pick you up you briefly entertained finding your own way to the party and cornering him, forcing him to hear your apology before leaving and soaking your pillow with tears. But you don’t know where the party is. You also briefly entertained the idea of calling Jieun and asking her, but you’re not interested in the lecture that would come from that. You still don’t appreciate her words about you to Seungmin and the implication of them. Seungmin is your friend, you can tell him what happened all by yourself. You don't need Jieun to play messenger.
You swallow the last of your lunch and throw the wrapper in the nearest trash can. You want to start a new painting, one that can unleash the frustrations of your life as it is right now, and you can only do that by getting some new supplies. You save up constantly for this exact reason— for the ability to buy whatever your heart desires whenever it desires it. You dip your toes into whatever interests you, and all concepts of Art satisfies you more than anything. Writing whatever you desire, taking pictures of the things you find beautiful, painting whatever you want— it gives you the control that fuels you more than anything else.
The art shop by your university is quaint, always quiet and never very full, yet always filled with high quality supplies and fully stocked. You’ve made friends with the old lady who owns it and her daughter, constantly going there just to buy something in order to catch up with them on whatever has happened since your last visit. They’re like the mother and sister you never had, people who feel more like family than your own. It’s partly for that reason that you’ve made the trek there, hoping to get some advice for the things you’ve been feeling before going to the party that’s undoubtedly being held by the one group of people you despise.
The bells above the door jingle when you step in, and you let the smell of paint, chalk, crayons, pens, and faint air freshener soothe you. It’s just as cluttered as it’s always been— stacks upon stacks of sketchbooks and canvases on one side situated next to the easels and small desks. The paints have a section of their own, oil, watercolor, acrylic, matte, and more— on the opposite side there’s pens and crayons, colored pencils, oil pastels, and sharpeners of all shapes and sizes.
The walls are covered in paint as if before bringing in all the items they’d had fun splattering the walls in color. It’s messy, unruly, cluttered, and barely organized— so it doesn’t make sense to you why it comforts you so much. When you see a small form hobble out from behind a stack of books a smile forms unbiddenly on your face, and the small old lady smiles back.
“I missed you, dear,” She scolds, wrapping you up in a hug. “It’s been too long since you’ve come to visit.”
“I know, I’ve just been busy Ms. Yang. I missed you.” You sigh, rubbing your nose in the soft fabric of her sweater. She smells like paint and flowers— she smells like home.
“Sam will be here soon, she’d love to see you.”
“Yeah, that’d be nice. I need to talk to her too.”
“I can tell, child. You look stressed.” She sighs, shuffling behind the counter and sitting on one of the other seats behind it. “Get what you’re looking for,” She says waving a hand dismissively towards you.” I won’t make you explain it twice.”
You huff lightheartedly, making your way over to the canvases and picking one of medium proportions. You’re still not sure what it is you want to paint, but you know whatever you’re feeling is strong enough that you grab Oil paint, needing something rich and vibrant and something sharper to contrast the muddled and cloudy image of your mind.
It’s before long that you settle on a brand you normally buy, and the set of bells signal someone’s arrival into the shop. You turn your head, expecting to see Sam and her long curly hair, beautiful in its volume and her tawny brown skin, but instead you’re greeted with the sight of straight brown hair, swept behind the ears of a tall man, a mole under his eye and the reason for all your problems. You don’t know why you react the way you do, but with your items cradled in your hand you sprint behind a large stack of sketchbooks and hold your breath, staring with wide eyes at the cans of paint at your feet.
What the fuck is Hwang Hyunjin doing at your shop? This is your safe place— your safe haven. A part of you curses the ground he walks on, hopes that the store is too messy and cluttered for his liking, prays that he proves he’s as shallow as the company he keeps and that he leaves and doesn’t come back. Another part of you hates yourself for being so ridiculous. For letting your personal feelings about him delve so far that you’d think something like that. Sam and Mrs.Yang deserve the business, deserve the money, deserve the customers. You shouldn’t hope for anything different— but it still amazes you how he never fails to intrude on the things you hold dear. To intrude on the things you want to keep to yourself.
You don’t move from the spot you’re in. It could’ve been ten minutes, an hour, even, or maybe it was only thirty seconds, but you only peek out when you hear Sam’s voice ring through the shop. You survey the room, stepping out from your hiding spot when you confirm that Hyunjin is nowhere to be found. Though, you don’t think you could’ve hid regardless by the way Sam calls your name.
“Hi, Sammy,” You smile, coming up to pull her into a hug. She grips you tightly, her kinky hair tickling your cheek and her clothes smelling faintly of vanilla and roses. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, hun,” Sam smiles, albeit a little sadly as she looks over your face. “What’s wrong?”
“Hey, don’t leave a poor old lady out,” Mrs. Yang huffs, “Come over here and tell us both about it.”
Without even saying anything they’ve already cheered you up, your steps feeling lighter as you make your way behind the counter and sit on one of the three seats. You sit between them both, their eyes set patiently but concerningly on you.
“I don’t know, really,” You start, and then, you tell them. About your argument with Seungmin, about how lonely it is feeling like you’re the only one feeling this way, about how much the site angers you— how it makes you feel. You tell them about Hyunjin, about how he doesn’t stop bothering you no matter how much you make it obvious you don’t want his company. How much that frustrates you, as well, and about how the lack of control over the entire situation, and over the CSC’s place in your life makes you uncomfortable, and about how the CSC itself makes you feel things you’ve never felt before and how much that scares you. You can barely describe the way it does, and who else can you blame besides its creators.
When you’re done it feels like you’ve vented a lifelong event, it makes a heavy weight lift itself off your shoulders and the heavy silence that remains doesn’t feel like judging, but rather them trying to understand— soaking up the meaning of every word you said in an attempt to place themselves in your shoes.
“I think,” Sam starts, “That your cluelessness about your feelings towards the site in general turns into anger, and the fact that the boy,”
“Hyunjin”, You offer.
“Yes, I think his attempts at speaking to you only worsen it somehow, like you’re being cornered by this weird feeling that you don’t understand and it makes you even angrier.”
“You said your friend is a part of it?” Mrs.Yang interjects, a wrinkly hand kneading your shoulder.
“Yeah,” You murmur, “He’s good friends with the group and he loves the website.”
“That probably doesn’t help then,” She continues, “If you’re surrounded by people who know what they like or enjoy something you don’t like or don’t understand, of course you’re going to feel angry. You feel like the odd one out.”
“I think more than anything you need to figure out if it’s really anger you’re feeling, and if the only reason why you hate this website is not because of its purpose but because of your lack of control over it.” Sam finishes.
“I can’t say I agree with it either,” Mrs.Yang grunts, “It’s not something I think college students need to be worrying about. Things like that stick with you, but it’s their choice to indulge in it, Y/n, you can’t control that.”
You sigh. You guess so, but you still feel like you need to get rid of it. You’ve been slacking, not paying attention to it as much as you should because of all the chaos it’s creating. It’s been a while since you’ve done a petition or made a list of ideas as an attempt to shut it down, but for now it seems like enough to just hate it. They can’t change your mind. Not Seungmin, not Sam, not Jieun, not Mrs.Yang, not Chan or Changbin or Minho— not any of them, and especially not Hyunjin. You just want to be hateful in peace and you don’t know why you don’t seem to be allowed to do that.
You leave the shop feeling lighter, but also like you didn’t actually get any good advice. Sure they validated your feelings, but that’s it. You’ve been trying to figure out your feelings. You know why you’re frustrated, and even though it felt good to be validated it also felt like a waste. You hold the bag of art supplies closer to you as you walk. The sun is setting, painting the sky reds, and oranges, and purples— and you think maybe you’ll paint that. To represent the end of the turmoil that surrounds you, as something hopeful.
You relish in the soft slope of your shoulders, in the relaxation you so rarely feel nowadays, and walk briskly to your dorm so you can fall into your bed and try to forget about the fact that there’s a party you’re supposed to be at tomorrow.
And as if the thought brought it on, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out quicker than you’d ever admit and a relieved smile pulls on your lips when you see it’s from Seungmin.
pup: be ready by 9
you: ok!!!!!
you: i miss you
There’s no more responses but you don’t let that dampen your mood. He still wants you to go with him and that says enough. You do feel terrible about the way you acted— the way you’ve been acting— but you know it’s justified. You’re not irrational. Not at all.
If you collapse at the foot of your bed, art supplies sitting on the floor by your feet, and a paper by your head titled #686, no one has to know.
This Saturday has not been a day of relaxation for you. You didn’t have any plans, though instead of enjoying the peace you so rarely received, the day consisted of you running around your room with a frazzled energy following behind like a ghost. At first you contemplated showing up in a sweater and jeans; no makeup, no jewelry, just you and a lazy fit— but realized that would only bring you even more stares than if you dressed as slutily as possible.
It’s with a black leather mini skirt and a black, lacy, low cut long sleeve tucked inside that you finally allow yourself to relax. You’re probably dressed way too flashily for a college party, but you can’t entertain any thoughts like that or you’ll spend the next three hours obsessing over it— and that’s three hours that you don’t have. Knee length boots stare at you from the door and it’s with a sigh that you walk to the door and put them on.
There’s more reasons to be nervous than just the party, between the inevitable walk with Seungmin to the encounter you’re most definitely going to have with the CSC and all of its users, you’re out of your element. There’s not enough deep breaths to make you calm down, there’s no method available to help clear your mind. Your heart races much more than should be healthy. It feels like hell, even, and all you can do is let this plethora of nerves run its course.
When your phone buzzes with Seungmin’s ‘I’m outside’ text, it almost feels like your heart stops. Fuck, Seungmin’s gonna ask who you’re all dressed up for, gonna ask why you’re so nervous. Why are you all dressed up? Why are you even going? It’s too much, too much of not knowing, not understanding, not feeling right. What will it take to get you to feel right? Like in freshman year when your biggest worry was whether or not you were passing your classes, now it feels like that's a lifetime ago. Like you’ve encountered way too much to even consider anything like that— not that you need to worry about it anyway. It was supposed to be a carefree year for you. You’re always on top of your responsibilities, always prepared, and nothing ever changed that until you went on that site for the first and last time.
You stop, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath that’s otherwise pointless, and step out the door. You curse the day you ever went on that website. It’s why everything is all messed up now, but you rid those thoughts from your mind. You’re determined to have fun tonight no matter what, and no matter who’s there.
Seungmin waits at the door, A button-down hanging off his shoulders and jeans. His hair is combed back and he’s ditched the glasses.
“Hey.” It comes out meeker than you’d like, a little too timid for what your relationship with Seungmin is.
“Hey,” he smiles, the braces you love so much on full display. Your best friend is beautiful, and it’s with a pang to your chest, it’s with seeing him now— so welcoming and so normal with you— that a small part of you realizes maybe you have been being irrational. Maybe you have been acting too strongly, but then you remind yourself that you’ve never been irrational. Never.
“So I’m guessing we’re going to the CSC’s dorm?”
“You’ll fit right in,” Seungmin laughs, starting to walk. You struggle to catch up to him; it’s been so long since you last wore heels that it’s hard to get used to. You don’t grace his comment with an answer, simply relishing in the soft nightly breeze and the shine of the moon. The stars glitter from above you, light years away yet so visible. So sure of their stance in life. You don’t think stars blow up at their best friends, or feel confused, or feel lonely.
You arrive at the party all too soon. From a block away you could see people drunk, staggering in the same direction, and from down the street you could hear the bass of the music, but the warning signs weren’t nearly enough to prepare you for the actual sight of it. It’s like the typical house parties you’d see on TV, but louder and more nerve-wracking. People hang out in front, the music loud enough for them to enjoy even from outside the building. Lights flash from behind the window, an array of purples, greens, reds, and blues. You can see people's shadows from behind the curtains over the front windows, and you feel like you’re about to throw up.
“Oh god,” You mumble, taking a few shaky steps inside. You can't do this. You’re gonna freak out and embarrass yourself. You can almost feel the anxiety seeping from your pores, and the word no repeats over and over in your head like a mantra.
No no no no no.
You can’t do this, but you do it anyway. Stepping inside the party is a feat in itself, and you can’t tell if your hands are shaking from the strong bass of the music or because of pure anxiety. The music knocks into your body so strongly that your knees buckle, barely able to hold you upright. At any moment you feel like you might collapse.
You can’t do it but you do it anyway, taking one step and then another, and when the door closes behind you, you resist the urge to turn back and run away. The party is full of people— so full that it’s impossible to walk anywhere without bumping into someone, and despite your best efforts you do get stares. Whether it’s because of what you’re wearing or if it’s because it’s you at a party being held by the CSC… you’re not entirely sure. You don’t think it makes a difference. You try to ignore it, act unbothered, and it must work because after a while they look away, murmuring something or the other about what you’re doing there.
Seungmin drags you away from the door and to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and cabinets like it’s his home. You take in the somewhat chill vibe of the kitchen compared to everywhere else. It’s not nearly as full, but there are couples at opposite ends acting as if it isn’t a place where food is kept.
You take a few deep breaths, reassure yourself that you can do this, and even if you can’t you’ll do it anyway. Seungmin doesn’t say anything, just pours you something sweet and fruity in a red cup and hands it over with a raise of his eyebrows. You drink it way too quickly and you know you’re gonna regret it later, but you need the effect it’ll bring. The faux calmness that’ll help you get through the night. Though with how full the party is you think that you won’t be able to see the hosts anytime soon if at all, and that’s enough to bring your heart to a stuttering stop before it resumes its beating in a much more slow paced manner. You’re still not calm, but you’re doing your best.
“Try to relax,” Seungmin chides, his gaze heavy where it bores into you. “Everything will be just fine.”
You nod, taking a more calculated sip of your drink this time. You let the music relax you instead of startle you— focusing on the beats and the melody— on the lyrics, instead of the volume and how it makes your body tremble. You can do this.
When you finally feel like you’re able to relax, Seungmin parts from you, saying there’s some people he has to see. You’re an adult, so you can handle being alone for a few minutes. Eventually, though, the few minutes turn into something longer. You wonder if maybe Seungmin is still upset with you— you didn’t speak much about it on the walk like you thought you would. Honestly, it was mostly silence, and you didn’t think much of it before but you are now. You hold your drink close to your chest, dubbing it your life line for the night.
You last all of thirty minutes before you feel like you’re getting too hot— the building only gets even more stuffy as more people arrive, all of you packaged like a can of sardines. You take the fleeting burst of confidence to leave the kitchen and go to the backyard, hoping that it’ll be a bit more peaceful (as peaceful as possible considering the music blasting), and allow the fresh air to graze your skin like a soft blanket. You sit down on one of the benches in the backyard, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. What will it take to feel at peace? Maybe there’s nothing you can do. And it’s with these thoughts that you do exactly what you shouldn’t do at a party, wallowing in self pity and confusion. You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t notice when someone else joins you.
“Hey, bug.”
Your head whips up faster than what’s comfortable, and you barely hide the wince that struggles to leave your lips. Hyunjin speaks again before you can respond.
“Don’t leave, alright. Please?” He asks, sitting down beside you and smoothing his hands over his pants. “Can we talk?”
“About?”
“About us? About you? I’m tired of running in circles and I want to know why you hate me— the CSC so much.”
You’re silent for a moment, contemplating, thinking. You should get up, leave the backyard and this party altogether. You should ignore whatever it is Hyunjin has to say because he’s the reason for all this, right? Why is he always pretending he doesn’t know; acting like he wants to get to know you? Acting like it really matters how you feel. Everyone wants to understand, everyone wants to know why, but you don’t even know— but you’ll never admit it outright. You’ll never say the one thing that’s been your driven principle for the past year is something you’re unsure about. All you know is that it’s bad, that it’s made you feel ways that were foreign to you, and in order to regain control you need to get rid of it. No matter how anyone else feels about it, no matter who gets upset with you along the way. You need to do it.
Your voice is soft, but not meek. For once, you’re gonna get this entire experience off your chest. “When I first went on the site in the beginning of freshman year I was curious,” You start, glancing at Hyunjin and feeling the tightness in your chest return when you realize he’s already looking at you. “At first, I was curious, and then I was confused. I clicked on a few videos— I scrolled for a while— and I started to get this weird feeling. The more I watched the videos, the more I scrolled through pictures and posts, the feeling got stronger.”
You feel so stupid, but you continue. If Hyunjin makes fun of you he’s just proving your assumptions correct. “I’d never felt that way before and honestly, it kinda scared me, and it was annoying that I didn’t understand it. I didn’t do anything after that. I ignored how fast my heart was beating, how my body was reacting, and never went on that site again. Slowly, that confusion turned into anger— it’s not normal. The way I felt wasn’t normal, and that’s why I think that site needs to get shut down.”
“Bug…” Hyunjin laughs a little and you want to be offended, but you can tell it’s more shock than amusement. “Bug have you ever had sex? Or.. touched yourself at all?”
Your mouth opens and closes comically, but Hyunjin is patient, waiting and watching carefully for you to speak. “Is that what’s important?” You finally say, your eyebrows furrowed and you’re ready to defend yourself if need be. “No, I haven’t.”
“God, bug this is…” Hyunjin squints at you, “I think you were aroused.”
You splutter, feeling your heart rate spike in embarrassment. “What!? No. No.”
“That weird feeling? That heat in your gut,” Hyunjin says, and to punctuate he lays a large, warm, hand over your stomach. “You were horny.” This time, Hyunjin’s laugh is one of amusement, but you're too distracted by how big his hand is, splayed over your stomach and so warm it feels like it’s burning through your clothes.
“Hyunjin, the feeling— no, it doesn’t make sense.”
“Bug, if you’ve never ever been aroused before somehow, of course it felt weird. Holy shit.”
You don’t say anything, but Hyunjin continues before you can get a grip on your thoughts.
“I can’t believe this is the reason why you’ve hated us for so long, I honestly can’t believe it.”
“Hyunjin… that feeling wasn’t pleasurable. Control is pleasurable. I didn’t have a grip on anything that day and barely regained it on the days following. You can’t convince me that getting rid of the CSC won’t bring back a sense of normalcy. You can’t, and even if you’re right, I think that morally, the site is still wrong, and I’m not going to stop trying to shut it down.”
“There’s so much about the CSC you don’t know about, and there’s so much more to pleasure than control.” Hyunjin sighs, clearly more at ease now that he realizes you’re just confused. You don’t know, really, why you hate them. That’s clear. You’re stubborn though, he can tell, and even if this idea he has works— he’s not sure you’ll stop until you get what you want.
Earlier that day the CSC received an email from the dean, threatening that they’ll start looking into all that their site entails because of how often you keep badgering them about it. It’s starting to create a murmur between staff, and they’re growing increasingly frustrated. All that means to Hyunjin is you’re finally breaking through their resolve, running them down enough for them to consider shutting it down or supervising more intensely. Hyunjin can’t have that. None of them can. When Hyunjin approached you tonight he expected to have to beg— to have to plead with you to stop meddling. The site is bigger than you know, more important than some college stupidity. It rakes in a lot of cash, and he can’t have such petty reasoning stop that flow.
Hyunjin’s voice is husky as he continues and his words send an undeniable shiver down your spine “I can show you that the site, and sex by association aren’t bad at all. Mentally, you’re confused and physically, you’re pent up. We can’t have that can we, pretty girl?”
“No, we can’t.”
Wait. What? Yes, we can. Yes you can. You’ve been doing just fine right? You don’t need Hyunjin’s help. He’s not gonna change your mind because your mind doesn’t need changing.
“You can try to shut us down, but at the same time let us help you.”
“Us?” You murmur, attempting to understand what exactly is happening.
“All of us, the CSC can help you figure out what you’re feeling, right? We can help you decide what to do.”
“…You can help me?”
Hyunjin hums, removing his hand from your waist and trailing his finger along the skin just above the hem of your shirt. His fingers dip over your cleavage, tug at your necklace, up and up until your chin is in his hand, and he turns you to face him as his lips brush your cheek. “I want to see who will succeed first, so let me show you that there’s more to pleasure than control.”
He can help you. Out of all the people who ask you why, who say they want to understand but don’t try, he’s the one who’s offering a solution. As annoying as he’s always been to you, as much as he’s always embodied something you hate— the person who’s embedded such foreign feelings in your mind— he wants to help you. He wants to try, and he’s not telling you to stop your goal either. He’s not telling you it’s stupid, he’s not getting angry. He doesn’t make you feel irrational. You’re not irrational. You have a goal and it’s one you’re gonna complete, but… it doesn’t hurt to try, right? And if you succeed, if you shut them down and Hyunjin fails— if the CSC fails you’ll win. You’ll win and prove that you were right all along.
“Go easy on me.”
“Of course, bug.”
You keep your eyes downcast in embarrassment as Hyunjin whispers against your skin, his fingers gently turning your chin up and over to the point of focus. His lips. Pouty, sinfully crimson, curving upwards so surely, like they themselves know their effect on people. They look so soft, so wet. You want to feel them, and it’s as if Hyunjin’s read your mind because his lips are on yours before you can even blink.
“You just kissed me,” Your voice is airy, breathless, and usually you’d be embarrassed.
“Can I do it again?”
There’s a simmering, boiling tension both of you have been ignoring but you’ve lost the will to care about hating Hyunjin or Chan or the CSC. Momentarily, you’ve lost the will to feel much at all but a burning desire to take away any negative emotion you feel. You’re sick of it, sick of feeling confused. Last night you’d dealt with it by crying your eyes out, before that you’d dealt with it by having a screaming match with your best friend, and now you’re ready to look for something to fix it. This just might be the best way to start.
“Not outside.” You whisper, your hands clutching the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt with such an intensity you’re afraid it’ll rip off then and there.
The trip inside and upstairs is a blur. You’re sure if anyone saw you they stared, wondering what you two were doing together, wondering what you were going upstairs for. It’s a blur, nothing is clear but what you’re going to do at this moment, and with Hwang Hyunjin of all people. Of what you’re going to do in the future, with the CSC of all people, what you’re gonna do to them— what you’re gonna allow them to do to you— that’s the only thing on the forefront of your mind. Not about who’s watching, not about who wants to know. It’s about you. You’re the one in control, you’re the one who gets to decide. You’re the one who needs to know.
Warm. You feel warm all over, pressed against Hyunjin with his thighs spreading yours open, warm in his tight embrace. Your hands are clutching at his clothes, at his arms— It’s so hot, yet somehow the constant cool air of the room makes you shiver.
“W-what do I do?”
Hyunjin chuckles, his voice the softest you’ve ever heard it. “You don’t have to do anything, pretty. Let me handle it.”
Letting Hyunjin handle anything doesn’t sound like a very good idea to you in any instance, but in this case you let him. You’re otherwise clueless in this area and frankly, if you want his help you’re going to have to accept it when it’s given. His mouth lands back on yours, a certain kind of desire running through the kiss. His hands are all over you. Trying to grab at every inch he can, and you try your best to kiss him back with equal intensity— to move your lips against his with the same fervor.
Your heart kicks up an irritating notch when Hyunjin slides a warm hand up your shirt. You can feel the way his fingers ghost over your skin with an unnatural intensity, as if his touch is amplified tenfold. And if Hyunjin had imagined this during late nights, cock shamelessly fisted in his hand as he dreamt of you pushing your panties to the side for him to enter your tight hole, no one has to know.
“Look at me, pretty,” Hyunjin growls, your eyes opening at his command against your better judgement. His pupils are dilated, staring down at you with a foreign intensity. The way he looks at you is an awakening, and with a small burst of confidence, you bury your fingers into the collar of his shirt, bringing him down for another kiss. It’s a little awkward with your inexperience, all teeth and clumsy movements until he takes the lead. His lips feel like heaven and you want them everywhere, want to kiss him forever. You want to sink his soft groans into your skin, keep the taste of him on your tongue for the rest of your days as he licks into your mouth, coaxing feelings out of you you've never felt before— kissing you into blissful dizziness.
"I wonder why you're so pretty, hm? Been torturing me for months, sweet thing," Hyunjin teases, pressing your thighs farther apart, tongue pushing against yours, his lips cherry red. You want to kiss him again. "I don’t think you really hate me, bug.”
Your breath hitches when his hands move to your skirt, slipping under the hem and holding the fabric tightly. God, you feel so bare. Like Hyunjin is looking at you from the inside out. When he pulls your skirt down slowly, so slowly it feels like time stands still, all that’s on your mind is him. His breathing, his touch, his warmth. When your pink, lacy panties come into view the chuckle Hyunjin lets out is so deep it feels like a heavy blanket over your mind, soothing you yet igniting something in you that you didn’t know existed. God, you’re in the demon's bed but you feel like you’ve gotten a taste of heaven, and when those soft, cherry red lips ghost over your skin, trailing over your pelvis, leaving light kisses along your skin, all you can do is jerk in his hold. You’re so sensitive. So, so sensitive.
His hands grip your waist tightly and his lips trail upwards, the bridge of his nose pushing your shirt up until it’s so high your breasts threaten to fall, smothering Hyunjin’s face underneath them. You shiver at the thought, those sinful lips pressing kisses against the skin of your breasts; what would it feel like? Would it feel like this? This feeling that you’re still so unfamiliar with?
"Pretty girls deserve to know what it feels like to have me right here,” Hyunjin starts, leaning down to press a trail of kisses to your inner thigh. He bites and marks along the fleshiest parts, chuckling at your quiet whimpers and yelps. You didn’t know you could make sounds like that. He slides a hand up between your thighs and rubs between your folds, still covered by your lacy panties. “Did you come to impress someone tonight?” Hyunjin murmurs, before splitting them to rub your clit through the fabric. You feel like falling as he circles between your thighs, a gasp hiccupping at the base of your throat before it gets stuck— you can’t make a sound.
You faintly hear the rustle of clothing and the absence of Hyunjin’s touch, opening your eyes to see him pulling his shirt off, biceps flexing as he does. He’s so big, and fuck, his whole body could cover your own if he really wanted. He towers over you, caging you in and surrounding you from all sides. When his shirt is off and thrown somewhere to the floor, he looms over you, his hands pressing into the bedding at either side of your head, and all you can do is gasp— your eyes widening at his proximity.
“You okay?” He whispers, and you nod.
“Yes.”
It’s breathless. It’s not you. It’s not the person who wanted nothing to do with Hyunjin only a day ago, but you want answers. You want clarity. And right now, you want this.
Hyunjin wastes no time after your confirmation, his fingers slipping under your panties and ghosting over your skin. He lets out a harsh breath at the feeling where you’re otherwise silent, trusting that he knows what to do. When a rush of cool air blows over you though, your legs close instinctively, and Hyunjin hums, “Stay with me, bug.”
“I’m here,” You respond, slowly spreading your legs back wide and allowing him to pull your underwear down until they’re hanging off ur ankle, your arousal sticks to the fabric, but with a flick of his wrist they’re gone. They’re gone. Oh god. You’re really doing this. You take a deep breath, and when a warm hand comes to cradle your cheek you lean into the warmth. It’s okay. You’re okay.
Soft lips press against your skin, tainting the unmarked flesh with bites and bruises. He paints your neck purple and blue, fingers ghosting between your thighs, tracing and playing with the obvious wetness coating your arousal. His mouth travels upwards, pressing against your own as he claims your lips in a devouring kiss. Everything is on fire, hot and burning as lust begins to entirely consume you for the first time.
A small moan slips past your lips as he dips a finger into your slick, warm cunt, and you clench around the digit almost immediately as instinct. The cool air and your nerves make your thighs tremble, but it doesn’t seem to affect Hyunjin— not at all— if the way he keeps eye contact with you while he fingers you slowly is any indicator. Painfully slow. You don’t know if this is to help you or torture you, and you can’t help the way your thighs tense under his ministrations.
The man before you reaches his other hand towards the hem of your top to pinch the edge of it between an index finger and thumb, and pulls the cloth away from your skin.
His eyes bore into yours: “This okay?”
“Fuck, the more you ask me the more nervous I get.”
“Okay, okay. I don’t wanna make you nervous.”
“Just… be nice to me, Hyunjin. Okay?”
Hyunjin smiles, and you exhale, relaxing into Hyunjin’s sheets and letting his musky cologne consume your senses as his touch roams everywhere else.
And then finally— yet all too quickly— the shirt is tugged away from your breasts and they fall freely as Hyunjin eagerly leans closer. His nose presses against one of your hardened nipples, and you watch his pupils dilate quicker than you thought was possible. He’s barely holding back the urge to fuck you dumb, and the finger that still thrusts slowly into your cunt stutters in its movements.
Look at you. His eyes roam over the look on your face, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, bright eyes glazed over and hooded in a bliss that’s otherwise foreign to you, a particular ease directed towards him. Then he shamelessly let his eyes drop down to your thighs that tremble even harsher under his gaze. The action only forces his mind to run wild. He can’t help but wonder how you do it— looking all innocent— being all innocent but acting like you’re not. Like you’re so sure. You’re confused, god, you don’t know what real pleasure is— and it’s Hyunjin’s job to teach you. Fuck, did he want to be under you, gazing up at your through half lidded eyes, hungrily eating up the sight of you bouncing on his cock like the slut you could be.
He dipped his head down, holding your breast in his large hand and rubbing over your nipples with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. Your hands automatically perched themselves on his shoulders, and he grins, moving the finger thrusting into your cunt harsher, faster.
“Oh, god,” You moan, loud, your grip on his bare shoulders tightening ever so slight. His skin was warm under your fingers— soft and smooth and fuck if it didn’t feel good.
He groans, cock stiffening more than it already had. At this rate he was probably going to cum in his pants untouched, but he held himself back. He wanted to do this right— show you all that pleasure could be. He moved his mouth from your nipple to slip lower, down lower and lower still until he came face to face with your arousal.
“Fuck. You’re driving me crazy.”
“Oh- oh Hyunjin help me, please,” You pleaded, his shoulders too far to grip onto; your hands instead finding his hair, running your fingers through and pulling when he nosed at your clit, groaning heartily when your wetness clinged to his skin.
It’s with a lick to your clit that you wail, your thighs threatening to close, and they would have if Hyunjin’s hands hadn’t reached out to force them down, pushing further and sticking his face into your arousal with more fervor, licking and sucking with such vigor that it felt as if he was trying to devour you. Your thighs trembled with every movement of his tongue, poking and prodding at every inch of your cunt, his nose dug against your clit and for a moment it felt like you were seeing stars. Your eyes fluttered shut, your mouth letting out uncontrollable moans.
You didn’t think it’d feel this good. But, you remind yourself, control feels better. You can’t let him change that— he won’t change that.
The obscene sounds that came from his actions should’ve embarrassed you, but nothing like that came to mind. Hyunjin was relentless, and you couldn’t even think of anything more than the feeling of his hair between your fingers and his tongue slurping at your cunt.
You tried to quiet your moans by clamping a hand over your mouth, but sitting up and watching the way he sucked and licked at your arousal made your head spin. He made the action so nasty. So filthy. He was wild yet careful. But what did you know? All you knew was that it was driving you insane and you didn’t know anything could feel this good.
Besides control, of course. And you assume, the eradication of the CSC would, also.
Suddenly, your stomach tenses, your body locking up, and you quickly cream all over his tongue, shaky moans slipping through your pretty lips. Your thighs shook from the aftershock, trying to come down from this feeling. Afterwards, Hyunjin’s actions felt too harsh. He didn’t change pace at all, but it felt like your body was going to arch its way into oblivion. Unable to ignore the sensitivity of your body any longer, you pushed against his head until he stopped, attempting to catch your breath.
“You okay?”
You hum, begging the beating of your heart to soften, though as soon as it finally did you looked back at Hyunjin and saw his pants sliding down his legs. His toned, muscular legs, and it started its harsh beating once again. That wasn’t it? Of course, that’s wasn’t it, but fuck. You don’t know if you can handle anything more.
The headboard of his bed knocks against the wall as he climbs back up on the bed, moving his body closer this time and instead of only his chest hovering over you, this time his legs cage you in, one on either side, as your heart pounds itself into oblivion.
One hand supported his weight on the pillow by your head while the other was preoccupied, curled around his cock as he stared down at you— something akin to a beast in his gaze. Tip reddened and precum oozing from the slit while he groaned. The tingly feeling in your groin was coming back, similar to the fluttering you always felt whenever Hyunjin would come bother you. It intensifies when Hyunjin wraps your legs around his waist and pulls you closer to him, your body dragging the bedding from under you and you yelp.
He rubs the tip of his cock against your twitching folds, teasing actions feeling more like torture before he finally sinks in. Slowly, deliberately, but you still tense. It’s scary, having something stick itself inside of you.
“Relax,” Hyunjin murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Stay with me.”
You do your best, forcing your body to relax, as he sinks deeper and deeper still. Hyunjin grunts softly when you clench down on him, and he sighs as you blink dazedly up at him.
Pretty eyes are locked intensely on your cunt, Hyunjin watching the slide of his cock as he thrusts inside. His hair is plastered along his sweat slicken forehead, and he sinks back into your slick walls with another languid roll of his hips.
“Fuck you’re so tight, baby.”
You moan, high and light, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss while Hyunjin’s chest expands with a shaky breath. He rolls his hips into yours— sinking his cock into your virgin cunt saying the filthiest words you’ve ever known before his words break off into a moan, his tone lower and deeper than his playful one. Tonight you’re seeing a whole new side of him— a new persona. This isn’t the annoying Hwang Hyunjin who bothers you and calls you ‘bug’, this is the Hwang Hyunjin everyone else knows. The one you hadn’t met yet.
“Oh, please don’t stop— be nice to me,” You babble, your hands grabbing at whatever you can— his shoulders, his back, his hair; and that’s all it takes before he suddenly takes up a pace that’s a little faster, rougher as your pussy squelches, wet and messy while your arousal smears along your thighs and the sheets.
Your body jolts with each thrust, pussy clenching around him as Hyunjin moans—every twitch and squeeze of your pussy leaving him breathless. “Come on, baby,” He pleads, and you don’t know what to do. You’re too lost in the haze of pleasure that’s taken over you— you can’t hear past the slap of your skin and Hyunjin’s groans in your ear. You know you’re moaning, but you can barely hear yourself. It’s all Hyunjin. Him all over you, surrounding you, making you feel good.
He grunts as you clench down on him with another roll of his hips, sinking deeper into you with each thrust. “That’s it, pretty,” he grunts, “Taking me so well, fuck. So greedy for me.” And again, you feel that strange feeling before tensing up, your body convulsing and arching up as Hyunjin’s thrusts grow more frantic— harsher and harsher as he groans gutturally in your ear with one last thrust long and deep, and when something shoots deep inside, you shiver one last time before your body sinks into the mattress and Hyunjin’s weight cases you in.
You feel boneless, lethargic with your movement. You feel when Hyunjin gets off you, when he closes your legs after slipping your underwater back on. You hear it when he sighs, something light and satisfied, and you barely manage to answer when he asks you how you feel. You can’t do much more than sigh, but it seems like enough for him— like that was the exact answer he was looking for. You succumb to blissful sleep right before the door shuts behind Hyunjin.
“Hear me out,” Hyunjin sighs, a lazy smile on his features even still. You’re no joke even if you might not know it yet. “I think it could really work.”
“You want us to convince Y/n to what? Leave us alone or..?” Jeongin says, leaning against the table in the kitchen.
The party has long been over, there’s a mess everywhere but it’s empty except for the eight boys and you knocked out in Hyunjin’s bed. Jisung sits sprawled on the couch, head twisted ever so slightly to betray that he’s listening to the conversation, Jeongin leans against the table and Chan has his arms folded where he leans against the wall serving as the entrance between the kitchen and the living room.
Minho downs a bottle of water by the sink, and Changbin leans against the fridge, leveling Hyunjin with an intense look. Felix and Seungmin sit on the couch opposite Jisung where they have a full view of everything and everyone.
“She barely even knows what porn is, so I said I could convince her the site isn’t that bad— and is something she could grow to like, if not love.” Hyunjin explains, his eyebrows raising in wait for the retaliation that’s sure to come.
“Why should we?” Minho asks, with a swallow, “If she doesn’t like it, honestly what does it matter.” Heads nod in agreement.
“Listen, they’re starting to consider whatever the fuck she’s selling them at those little meetings, and I got an email about investigation if this keeps up. If we fail to change her mind, we can at least distract her enough for the heat to lessen a little.”
Chan nods, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” He shrugs, looking over at everyone in the kitchen. “We change her mind, then we got one less problem to deal with.”
“And if we don't?” Changbin asks, tilting his head at both Hyunjin and Chan. “And if this is just a waste of time?”
“It isn’t,” Hyunjin assures, “Trust me.”
The rest of them don’t argue, but Hyunjin feels Seungmin’s gaze boring into him from the couch, feels his questions burning at the tip of his tongue, begging to be let out, so he leaves before they can succeed.
“We can talk about it more later, but I think it’ll work. It’s a good deed, and I know how much you guys love those.” Some scoffs and laughs fill the room, but Hyunjin is already halfway up the stairs, a plan forming in his mind and a pleasant smile growing on his face.
a note from iris: this chapter was late because of that long ass smut scene so i hope it was enjoyable and that this wasn’t 17k worth of a snoozefest 😭 i’m sorry it’s late!! so sorry but it’s still friday even if it’s 11 pm <3<3 not beta read not nothin so pls.. spare me.. and i hope you liked it !!!
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my love, do you have any changbin links?
Changbin Hard Thoughts Visualizer
After an intense gym workout and seeing you in his favorite red blouse of yours, Changbin decided he needed to finish his workout. By finish his work out he really means pound you from behind and give you some pretty back shots<3
I WAS SEARCHING FOR A LINK FOR HIM FOR AGES OML. </3 HOPE YOU LIKE THIS AS MUCH AS I DO😮💨😮💨
If you like my content and would like to support me you can tip me! Or just like my post! That works too.<3
NO. I DO NOT YOU BETTER NOT😩🍬
GENRE ⭑ SMUT ! FLUFF ! ANGST !
warnings — mentions of cheating, alcohol, swearing.
WC ☆ 4k+
Teaser
"Are you telling me I'm blind? You saw the picture, Yeonjun. Are you going to try to tell me any different?" you weren't shouting, you sounded simply defeated, eyes puffy from crying. Ignoring your bleeding heart, you refused to shed any more tears. He flinched at your harsh words. You never called him that, it's only ever been 'Junnie'. But you had to be harsh. If you didn't put up this cold façade you would fall into pieces on the floor, unable to pick yourself up.
xxx
He couldn't answer, it was true. Horrified, he watched you zip up your black duffel that you had hastily packed with some of your belongings.
"That's what I thought.", you laughed in disbelief, grabbing the bag off the bed you shared with him for the past year of your three long years together. He followed you out of the bedroom, trying to stammer out some sort of rebuttal.
"I was black-out drunk, y/n. I don't even fucking remember it! Okay, look, I know that's not an excuse. I fucked up. Please, baby, let's talk through this. I can't lose you..", he darted past you trying to keep you from getting any closer to that front door. If you reached the door... he didn't even want to think about the end of "us".
"Don't you dare call me 'baby'! You should have thought of that before putting yourself in a situation where you ended up plowing some bitch the moment she came onto you!", you sighed, you had let yourself get worked up again. It was laughable, about the most cliche thing you'd ever heard. Who hasn't been drunkenly cheated on? Taken aback, by the entirety of it, you never thought this would happen to you. Yeonjun wasn't perfect, yet you could have easily said he'd never cheat before today.
"Yeonjun, even if I stayed. How am I supposed to forgive you? How am I supposed to forget? These hickies on your neck? I didn't make them, someone else did. The humiliation I'll face if I stay with you? I love you, Yeonjun, but I can't. Taehyun will be here for my things.", you stepped around him, not meeting his eyes. You didn't need to, you could hear his crying loud and clear.
"Y/n, please. You don't need to send your brother, you can just... please. I'm begging you..", you heard the thud of his knees as they hit the floor and you halted in your place. Because you would never forget, you couldn't turn around. Because you would never forget, you couldn't look at him. It takes everything not to give in, holding back your own dejected tears.
The notification of a new message; a photo. Tranquil, you slid the lock across your phone screen on the new notification bar. Heart in your throat as you took in the image, your mind was cracking at the edges. Surely it wasn't real. How could it not be? The dumb bitch sent you a selfie of your one and only Yeonjun laying naked, passed out on her bare chest. Hickies adorned over both of them. It was indisputable. She finally got what she wanted.
For the past year, after she transferred in her third year of university, she had her eye on your boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. It wasn't that she liked him. It has been irrefutable that THE Choi Yeonjun was far out of her grasp and she was the type to want something she couldn't have. Something you thought she couldn't have. Somehow, merely one frat party was all it took for her to pulverize everything. The dreadful remembrance overcame the wall that had barely begun to form around your heart. Bitterly, you laughed as your ceaseless tears fell to the floor with each step, leaving everything behind you.
A few somber months passed. Though it took two separate invitations and rejections, you were invited out for coffee with Yeonjun's "ex" best friend, Soobin. Needless to say, you had gotten to know the timid giant over the past few years and still held a good amount of trust in him. It was wrong to punish him for something he had no involvement in: he didn't gain any knowledge on what happened until after you had left. Soobin had been a good friend to you and it was just coffee.
As kind and gentle as ever, he paid for your drinks and pastries, bringing them to a table in the less populated area of the café. Somehow the meek bunny of a man easily drew out laughter and endless chatter from your battered heart. This was the most you've spoken since before.
Halfway through your chocolate-filled croissant, A broad figure stopped at your table, trapping you in.
You'd recognize your ex-boyfriend of three years anywhere. For lack of better words, he looked terrible. Purple dark circles grimly signified just how little he was sleeping. His cheeks had little color and seemed hollowed. He had lost so much weight, anyone else wouldn't have recognized him. You ignored the pang in your chest and the care you felt for him as a wave of furious anger boiled from inside.
"Soobin, what in the actual fuck?! Are you fucking kidding me??!", you scowled at the bunny you had defended in your head.
"No, y/n, don't blame him. I made him do this. Please, I just want to talk.", Yeonjun quickly intervened, preventing you from any further tearing into Soobin, who squinted his eyes shut tightly to brace himself for your rage.
"Get out of my way, I'm leaving." You stood, just about chest to chest with the man who had been the love of your life, looking up at him as if you were deciding whether to slap him or just decapitate him. He felt, either way, he deserved it.
"Please, give me 20 minutes, if after that you don't want to see me ever again I will respect your wishes.", Yeonjun pleaded, you could vaguely see the tears starting to pool, glossing over his eyes deep brown eyes that had lost nearly all their color.
"You have 15.", you hugged and sat back down in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest. Soobin took that as his queue to get out of dodge, bowing in apology before scurrying away so Yeonjun could take his seat.
"I've missed you so much, y/n.", he spoke almost in a whisper. You opened your mouth to cut him off but he quickly interjected, voice soft as ever.
"Please, for now, just listen?", he looked at you through his lashes, eyelids, all of him fatigued from fighting each passing day. Nodding, you agreed, avoiding eye contact so you didn't have to feel guilty, seeing how ruined he was. You could see his fingers playing with each other from the corner of your eye as he fidgeted nervously.
"I know what I did was so incredibly fucked up and I would spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. But you're my other half, I need you.
You don't have to accept right now, I'll give you as much time as you need. I'll never stop waiting for you. I beg you to think about it, y/n. Give us another chance. We can start over, yea? We had over three incredible years together and I fucked it up after I let myself have too much to drink. I will never allow myself to be in a situation like that ever again. I know I don't deserve another chance, yet here I am being selfish. Dragging my friends down with me just to get my sorry ass another shot with the best thing that ever happened to me." He grew silent, gaze caught on the table, tears incessantly streaming down his face.
Your heart throbbed. Never had you stopped loving him. However, while it had healed some, you still had an open wound on your heart that just wouldn't go away. Looking at the broken man in front of you, you yearned to tell him then and there that you felt the same. You may not look it but life without him wasn't life at all.
Thanks to the benevolence of your brother, Taehyun, and your best friend, Beomgyu, you had survived. Even so, there wasn't a day that went by without even the most minute thing reminding you of your lost soulmate.
Maybe the time apart was what you needed to be able to try again. If you were being honest, if he had come to you a week earlier, even. You would have still been too hurt to consider.
However, this was now. In life, you only get one soulmate and he was yours. You retrieved your phone from your purse, pulling up his contact and unblocking him.
He looked absolutely baffled as you typed at your phone for a moment without answering. Was there something on that phone that was more important? He lowered his head once more, heart laying in pieces once again after he had collected each scattered piece to bear to you only minutes ago.
The time you stopped typing matched with the ding he received on his phone, the only reason he'd have pulled it out at a time like this. He sniffled, wiping his nose on the back of his wrist, and pulled out his phone to see you had texted him.
"I need a little more time, Junnie.", read the text. Unable to ignore the flutter of hope in his heart, a faint blush appeared over his cheeks, barely distinguishable from the redness that was already there due to his crying session not long ago.
"I understand." He nodded and wiped away the rest of his tears, caring very little at the few stares they were still receiving. He stood and fixed himself up a bit before turning around to leave. Maybe it was too early to have hope but if space was what you needed to be able to possibly make that decision, by god he'd give it to you.
"Junnie?", the desperation in your voice caught his ears and he swiftly turned back around, the gnawing at his heart almost agonizing as he heard you say his name, his nickname.
In the spur of the moment, no longer holding back from the feelings you tried so hard to hide, you threw yourself into your ex-lover's arms. he stumbled back, stunned by the sudden impact, feeling his body tense as you enclose your arms around his middle. the feeling of your body against his a familiar and welcome embrace but one he had not felt in months. Still, it wasn't long until his body relaxed, heart softening and his own arms naturally wrapping around you tightly, not ever wanting to let go.
Yeonjun, to your surprise, was the first to pull away. It was nearly too much for him, fresh tears pouring from his eyes. You blinked back your own tears, taking a step back, your eyes falling to the floor. Embarrassed, you tried to collect your composure but ended up standing there, rubbing your arm awkwardly.
"I'll give you as much time as you need, y/n", he nodded voice coming out broken before backing away gradually, turning on his heel and leaving through the café door, it ringing before he disappeared from your sights.
It took you exactly a week to call him. Only because Beomgyu and Taehyun refused to let you call him that very same night. They were less ready to forgive him than you were and they didn't understand that at first. Watching you experience that heartbreak firsthand, it would take a lot longer to gain their trust back.
"Take me on a date." You had said when he picked up the phone. It was hard to hold back your laughter after hearing the panicked tone in his voice as he said your name, wanting to make sure you had meant to call him. 'Endearing' is the word you would always use to describe him, and it still stuck, even now.
You turned into teenagers in love again. Going on dates until late at night, taking a million silly couples photos for Instagram, getting nervous at each touch of each other's hands and standing at the door when he dropped you off each time, not wanting the night to end. Part of you felt you shouldn't give in so easily, but it seemed like it would be so easy to pick up right where you left off. It wasn't as hard to forgive him and regain trust with one another than you thought it would be.
Eventually, you were letting him pick you up after class again, all was going fine and well until a certain girl took notice.
"I heard you and Junnie are back together, you don't deserve someone as delicious as him." the girl spat, cornering you into the wall next to the girl's bathroom; which you had just exited a few moments ago.
"And you do?" you said back, although it ended up coming out less harsh than you had hoped for.
"Pfft pathetic, do you really think he cares for you ?! When he so easily gave in to his desires and fucked me at the first chance he got?", knowing exactly the right words to get on your nerves. You felt a sharp needle pierce straight through your heart. But you had no time to worry about that, only needing a way to get out. 'Where is he..' you thought, Yeonjun had walked you to the bathroom, so he shouldn't be that far away?
She hadn't taken that into account; wherever you were, Yeonjun was not far behind. Her back blocking your view, you didn't notice that your savior was already coming down the corridor, it didn't take long for him to speed up his pace once he saw what was going on.
"I wouldn't call that desire but a mistake.", he tapped the girl's shoulder politely. When she snapped around, hearing the new voice entering the space, he gave her the biggest, most insincere smile he could muster along with a wave of his hand as rage started bubbling deep inside him.
"See, I can only imagine what fuckery you're spouting to my baby, but I didn't think you'd have the guts to come around after you jumped my bones while I was intoxicated, knowing it was the only way you could ever get to me after all the times I've turned you down.", the man waved his hands around in exasperation. Only then did his sarcastic smile fall.
"I don't deserve to be with HER. And YOU don't deserve to be in her presence so I'd like you to take whatever ever bitchy bullshit agenda you have and crawl back into whatever disgusting hole you came out of like the naked mole-rat that you are. You have nothing on her. Come on, y/n", he wrapped an arm over your shoulder, His glare livid as a supervolcano about to erupt, his actions unpredictable, any wrong move, and he could blow up and take the world out with him. He was pissed. at her. And most importantly at himself. She was a reminder of what he did, what he allowed to happen, that ultimately ruptured your relationship.
"I'm sorry she's still bothering you. I can promise you that she'll have nothing to do with us ever again.", he lowered his arm after turning the corner, praying he didn't make you uncomfortable. Consequently, you were still a little shaken, only nodding in response. He slowed his pace, giving you a moment to ground yourself.
"Is it okay if I hold your hand?", he rubbed both his sweaty palms against his dark-wash jeans anticipating your answer. Appreciating how he cared enough to ask, you nodded and held out your hand so he could intertwine his fingers with yours.
The interaction made anxiety burst out of your chest, moving hastily throughout the whole of your body, only settled by the way Yeonjun stood up for you; like he always had. a reminder that he always loved you, back then and now. He could be a ruinous wildfire to the world, but for you, a soft, warm breeze passing through a meadow filled with flowers of blues and pinks, a trickle of cool brook a delightful sound to your own ears, a safe place for you and your heart.
Both of you itched as you awaited your fourth date, he picked you up after your last class of the day, whisking you away in a taxi to the little mom and pop restaurant that had been both yours and Yeonjun's favorite all that time you lived together.
A fleeting thought; you remembered how the apartment you shared so many memories in was only minutes away. You stayed late talking to the owner, and Yeonjun denied a drink when offered a complimentary soju bottle. He didn't drink anymore. By the time the two of you were leaving, scattered drops of rain grew into a steady downpour.
"Do you remember the first time I said 'I love you?", he turned to you as you looked out into the heavy sheets of rain, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear and letting out a soft chuckle.
Unintentionally, he had blurted it out first. He didn't know when he started feeling that way but now, for weeks, every time you spoke he could feel the words on the tip of his tongue.
Five months into your relationship, he walked you home from a much-needed, stress-relieving evening out.
Haplessly, it had started raining. Your brother's place was in running distance, but it started pouring so abruptly. There was no choice but to take shelter underneath (something). Howbeit, you still ended up soaked from head to toe, feet squishing in your shoes, marinated in rainwater.
Through laughter, chaste kisses, and shared eye contact, he drank in every little feature of your face and it slipped.
You nodded, reminiscing along with him for a moment, the sugary taste of nostalgia coated your mind until you noticed the distance closing between you and the 181.5 cm, fox-eyed man. The curve of his plush lips continuously held your attention and he took notice.
"Can I kiss you?", he whispered softly, if it hadn't been for his face merely inches from yours, you might have missed it. Another nod was all he needed to take your lips in his own in the tenderest of embraces. A quiet sob escaped your lips but he took it all for you, tears now falling like raindrops on stained glass, mixing with his. Callused thumb gently brushing away a freshly rolled set of tears, whilst he brought his other hand to the side of your face to cup your right cheek.
And with that, you gave in. Letting him take you home. His hands were gentle, treating you as if you were the most delicate bubble ever blown. Any harsh moves and you would pop in front of him at any second. So you kissed him harder, showing him you were okay, that you wouldn't break.
After not being intimate in months you were completely parched, you thirsted for his love, his touch, more than ever much like the dry valleys of Antarctica thirsted for a single drop of water, kept from them for nearly 2 million years. Yet, he was still timid, removing your drenched clothes piece by piece and lowering you back onto the bed you once shared. Admiring you as if you were a hand-painted portrait, he took his time leaving the lightest kisses on every inch of your body. Flowering them all over your collarbones, and trailing softly down the valley of your chest, only stopping at your tummy to press his forehead against it.
"You are so goddam beautiful, my love" he murmured into your body. He was finally feeling your skin again. If he thought about it anymore he'd surely cry, and now wasn't the time for that so he made his way further down past your hips, ghosting a kiss over your heat. His breath made you shiver, made all the thoughts you once had disappear, replaced by overwhelming need. Was he seriously teasing you right now?
"Junnie, please.", not caring how needy you sounded, you pleaded with him, needing to feel him, taste him, smell him, breathe him.
The sound of desperation in your voice, all for him, finally sent him over. Gentleness shrunk away, as he pulled you by your thighs to the edge of the bed. Kneeling on the hard floor, he threw your legs over his shoulders, diving hungrily into your wetness. Looking up at you with piercing eyes as he licked voraciously at your swollen clit, lapping up your dripping cunt. He loved tasting you but he never seemed this desperate to take you in the taste of your arousal before now. Your hands found their way into his hair gripping tightly as he sucked and licked at your cunt.
"J-junnie. Want you inside...", whining, you failed to push his head away, not wanting to wait another minute.
He moaned into your wetness kissing your pulsing clit before pulling away. His hand moved, thumb gathering your slick and rubbing it over your clit at a frustratingly slow pace, your eyes glossy as you quivered. Your head fell back, wet hair fanning over the sheets.
"You want me, baby? What do you say??" He spoke in a low alluring tone, his voice teasing you like sweet honey, licking your lips, you craved for him.
"Yeonieee, please...", he stood, wordlessly stripping himself of his underwear, his hard dick slapping against his stomach. He pulled you closer with one arm, his other hand taking his cock and pressing his head to your slit, pushing it up and down to coat it in your arousal, making you whine. Leaning down he placed wet open-mouthed kisses from your jaw down to your neck, leaving you completely breathless.
"Good girl." He whispered, as he slowly pushed himself into you until you met his hips, the both of you moaning in pleasure. Filling you up nicely, you could feel his cock touching the sides of your inner walls, you moan as you shut your eyes tightly, even now you still weren't used to his size. He started slow, rocking his hips into you, allowing your body to accommodate him, and watching as his cock disappears inside you and returns coated in your slick. Reveling in your warm tightness wrapped around him so nicely, he put one hand in your hair, leaning down to kiss you deeply.
Kissing back passionately, his lips tasted of cherry, oh how you missed these heated moments where nothing else in the world mattered apart from how he was making you feel. Breaking away the kiss, "Ahh... J-junnie." you felt around frantically for one of his hands, him taking it into his own, and intertwining your fingers. While leaning his body over you, pressing a soft kiss on your shoulder. Your arms wrapped around his neck in an attempt to feel his body even closer.
"Junnie... please." his low thrusts coming to a halt.
"Please, what, baby girl?" he asked, teasing you. "Please fuck me" and that's all he needed to hear from you, "Anything for you, baby." moaning against your neck, as he slid his cock out, the tip brushing against your g-spot, before pushing in again. Building up pace little by little, you could feel him twitch inside you.
He slid his cock out, the tip brushing against your g-spot, before pushing in again, taking his time to fuck you slowly, building up a pace little by little. Reveling in your warm tightness wrapped around him so nicely, he put one hand in your hair, leaning down to kiss you deeply. You turned your head slightly to pull away.
"Junnie, please go faster." You begged, he smirked at your desperate pleas, more than happy to comply. He followed your request, snapping his hips into you roughly, slamming past your g-spot and into your cervix repeatedly. Making you cry out, you were seeing white.
"So deep..." you whimpered. He growled in response, leaning back, gripping both of your hips tightly letting his nails dig into your skin as he pulled you to meet each uneven thrust. Skin slapping wetly as he fucked you harder, you dragged your nails down his biceps making him hiss out lightly.
"Baby, you feel so.... so fucking good. I love you....love you so much." He groaned, running his hand up your body and firmly grasping your breast as his gaze full of fervor locked with yours, "so beautiful..."
"L-love you, Junnie. Love you... gonna cum. Junnie I'm gonna cum."
He reached to rub over your clit, sending your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you moaned loudly.
"That's a good girl. Cum on my cock, baby." He could feel you cumming around him, squeezing him tightly.
Rubbing your thigh softly, he rutted into you with jagged thrusts as he came deep inside, cum spilling out onto the sheets with each slowing thrust. He leaned over you, head falling into the crook of your neck. Both of you breathed heavily, coming down from euphoria. This bliss with him was saccharine, it was healing. He was healing.
He stood, grabbing his discarded shirt, and started to work on cleaning you up. His touch was gentle once again as he wanted nothing more but to cherish you.
"Stay tonight?", he asked still a little breathless, only making fleeting eye contact as he tried to hide how badly he hoped for a yes to pass your lips.
"Yeah... I'll stay."
𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐒 — banner made for “I’ll Stay” by @kuroppiz all rights reserved to them. "I'll stay" written by myself, do not copy, repost, translate, or moderate any of my works. Editor; @kuroppiz I sincerely couldn’t have done this without you, babe! I love you and your amazing brain!
TAGLIST ⭑ @kuroppiz @junnieboyo @sweetiehyuka @yjs6x @bakubae000 @yakusoku0 @billiondollarworth @imanerdychubbyqueen @hwxngjins @sweetiehyuka @chaemoa
I love it when writers can manage to write a intimate scene that is so sweet without having to overly explain that they are being sweet to each other. And this one does that SO WELL. This is so cute and i loved it<3
pairing: minho x afab!reader
genre: smut, fluff, 18+ (minors dni)
summary: you have a cozy christmas morning with minho.
length: 1.1k
warnings: food mention, christmas mention, profanity, suggestive/sexual content, no sub/dom dynamic, grinding, unprotected sex (please wrap before you tap), cream pie, praise, pet names, afab reader, nsfw 18+ (minors dni)
ficmas 2022 masterlist
you stir awake when you feel a soft a kiss on your temple. your eyes slowly blink open and get adjusted to the dim morning light coming in through the window. breathing in, you take in the smell of a candle that smells like pine trees. but there's something else. maple? vanilla? coffee?
once your eyes are fully acclimated, you see minho sitting on the edge of the bed next to you, hands slowly running through your hair.
“merry christmas,” he says before placing a soft kiss on your lips.
“mmmm…merry christmas,” you say with a stretch and smile, voice still grumbly from sleep.
“i made us some breakfast. wanna have breakfast in bed? then we can open our presents for each other a little later?” he asks as he glances at the nightstand.
you follow his eyes, and you realize that’s where that wonderful smell is coming from. sitting next to you are two plates with snowflake shaped pancakes and two mugs of coffee.
you sit up excitedly with a grin as you pat the bed next to you. this is all the answer minho needs to grab the tray with the plates and mugs and carefully make his way into bed next to you.
you finish up eating and decide you're not quite ready to get out of the comfort of the bed just yet, so you both decide to snuggle up under the covers to cuddle for a little while. you're laying with your head on his chest as he traces small designs along your back, and you just chitchat.
when there's a break in conversation you shimmy yourself up a little bit so you’re eye level with him. you place a soft kiss on his cheek.
“thank you,” you say sweetly.
“i’ll always make breakfast for you, baby,” he replies with a little laugh.
“i don't mean breakfast,” you nudge him playfully. “well, yes, thank you for breakfast, but thank you for everything you do for me. you make everyday feel like christmas. but especially christmas day."
“it’s my pleasure,” he responds with a kiss to your cheek. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
your lips gently crash onto his. they move together slowly and sensually. he teases the seam of your lips with his tongue before you grant him access, allowing your tongues to move together in perfect harmony. without ever breaking contact, you roll around so you're underneath him on your back while he rests his body between your legs, warm blankets still draped over both of you.
you continue making out for what feels like an eternity while his hands softly run along every part of your body, feeling every part of you. your fingers tangle in his dark hair. though you want to stay like this forever, you feel yourself growing wetter and more needy by the second. you rub your hips up into him, and the obvious bulge in his pants tells you he wants you just as bad. you both continue in the same motions that you have been for a while, but you each begin to slowly grind against each other, breathy moans escaping each of you during the brief moments that your lips separate.
“min,” you plead softly, craving more.
he lifts his face away from yours for a brief moment to look into your eyes, silently ask permission.
you nod to him reassuringly. “please.”
with that he carefully rids you of your clothes before following suit with his. he settles back down between your legs after he drapes the blankets back over the top of the two of you.
he peppers soft kisses all along your jawline and neck while you both start to grind into each other again, your hands softly dancing across his back. you mewl as his hard cock rubs up and down between your dripping wet folds, reveling in the way it feels as it gently rubs your clit. you feel yourself clench around nothing as he lets out a low groan against your skin when he feels out wet you are, how you're coating him in your juices. he keeps a steady rhythm for a while, gradually building both of you closer to your climax.
“min,” you interject softly, almost a whisper.
he kisses the sensitive skin just below your ear. “yes, baby?”
“feels so good…but i want you inside,” you moan quietly.
“you're ready?” he double checks, looking at your face to make sure.
“i'm ready,” you nod.
he carefully lines his cock up with your pussy before pushing into you slowly. you both moan when he bottoms out.
“fuck, you feel amazing,” he coos, barely above a whisper.
you each take a second to get adjusted before he starts his movements again, thrusting in and out of you at a slow and steady pace. his lips find their way back to yours, and your mouths move together rhythmically while he pumps into you. moans and whimpers threaten to escape from both of you if it weren't for your lips glued together. everything is slow and lazy but still so comfortable and full of passion. when minho feels you clench around him, he doesn't do anything to change his pace. instead he snakes a hand in between your bodies to rub methodical circles on your clit. with this new addition, not even a minute later, your orgasm comes washing over. your legs shake as your pussy flutters around him, fingers scraping lightly down his back. you moan against his mouth. he follows suit not long after, hips stuttering against you as he spills himself against your walls, a groan resonating from his throat. he grinds in and out of a few more times to milk your bodies of every last ounce of pleasure they have left before he pulls himself out, plopping down onto the bed next to you. he takes you in his arms and pulls you close to him, placing a kiss on the top of your head.
“i love you so much,” he states.
“i love you more,” you say with a soft smile before kissing his jaw.
you lay in his arms for a while, relishing in how warm and safe it feels to be with him.
after a little time has passed, you break the silence with a grin. “so…what do you say we get cleaned up and open presents?”
he scoffs jokingly. “was all of this that just happened not enough of a gift?”
you both laugh.
“while i will admit that was a lovely gift,” you begin. “i do believe there are some more presents underneath the tree that are calling our names.”
“will those ones be naked too?” he jokes, eyebrow raised. you roll your eyes and shove him playfully.
Whoever this anon is i despise you🫶
Is ramdan or whatever an excuse for you to not finish the series bcs a while back you said you’d release it but its not even here
theres a thing called researching love, please understand why i can’t 😭
♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚: 𝟭𝟴+ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴.:; 𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 。˚ "°𝐌𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥.♡ ".ˏˋ°
125 posts