People Underestimate How Much It Fucks You Up To Be Subtly Excluded As A Kid. I Would Try To Talk To

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

what emotion is this supposed to convey

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pins and needles or sensory overload mabye

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i-have-all-the-genders

8 months ago

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I ive only ever heard is this post was not expecting to see the original

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i-have-all-the-genders

2 years ago

I need to see John being homophobic after Cas and Dean do somthing like kiss, and Cas going full 'Angel of the Lord' on his his ass, wings out, broken light bulbs and everything

All I’m saying is we got to see Dean fight Castiel’s Dad it’s only fair we get to see Castiel physically fight John Winchester

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i-have-all-the-genders

10 months ago

The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.

With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.

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i-have-all-the-genders

8 months ago