Ass Kicker

I’m making an AU series based on this tweet. It’s gonna be a Doyoung x reader. It’s turning out pretty good :)

| Itoshi Sae × [GN!Reader]

| those ocean eyes

| angst, sae's point of view, short, hurt/no comfort, no happy ending

| Summary: Sae sits down and tries to remember why, how, and where the so called ending began.

| Main Masterlist

| Blue Lock Masterlist

burning cities and napalm skies

It happened in the heat of the moment really. It wasn't supposed to go that far. Despite what other people may think, you and Sae don't really argue hard because you know when to stop.

But where did it go wrong?

Maybe it was your fault, maybe it was his fault. Or maybe it was both of your faults, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he's currently drowning in his own sorrows because he couldn't control his emotions again. Just like that one snowy night with Rin— He sucks in a breath. No. He wasn't going to go back that far.

His mind is in shambles. Would he go as far as to chase you even if half a week has already passed? He probably would, he thinks. If only he had the courage to do exactly that.

But he doesn't.

So let him drown himself into self-blame and doubt.

fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes

He couldn't. He knows he can't face you. He doesn't have the courage to face you when he every second in his mind he only sees your tear drowned face. Your helpless eyes begging him to take back the things he said, begging him to fix it, to tell you you both will be fine.

But he's Itoshi Sae.

And Itoshi Sae is a stubborn, calm yet egoistic, prideful man who when he snaps, it's all over.

He didn't know where or how it started. All he knew was that this one certain comment of yours triggered his pent up stress over dumb fucks in practice and annoying managers and exhaustion and he just— snapped. He couldn't stop himself nor could he even realize what he was saying.

He never even thought of his words. His mind was blank, he could barely remember anythi—

"—and these worthless plans and trinkets you give and talk to me. What thing of value do you even do at this point?"

no fair

Your head shooked as your hands trembled, your lips were shaking. Your eyes filled with tears and practically begging him to stop talking but he couldn't think.

"These demands you make to me, what makes you think they even matter to me? What makes you think I even care?"

Sae clenches his teeth and clutches his head. It hurts, his head hurts.... and somewhere in his chest.

He refuses to acknowledge the memory. Make it stop. Stop playing that hing in his head. Stop making him see things. Stop making it seem like you left him—

And then it clicks.

It was like every cog in his head has stopped and finished process.

That night. That arguement. The last time he saw you. The ring— where was the ring?

He lifted his head in a hurry and looked around the empty room. It had somehow seemed emptier.

He sees the familiar ring on a table. It was the ring he gave to you as a promise. A promise of forever.

But why was it here again?

"—you care about these useless things instead of doing things that actually make sense. How about you start doing useful things for a change? So you won't be ashamed of showing that ring just to add that you do nothing but cling to me with those useless plans."

You froze as he mentioned your ring. You instantly touched the ring hanging on the chain around your neck.

"S-sae, not the ring, p-please—"

"I'm surprised you still even have the courage to wear that thing."

You shooked your head desperately.

This was the only thing hanging your relationship on the single, thin thread right now.

"Are you even worth giving that ring?"

you really know how to make me cry

His knees almost stumbled and he clutched the ring and his head in pain.

He sits on the bed for support as your helpless face strikes through his heart again.

when you gimme those ocean eyes

He remembers it all.

His cold, thoughtless words.

His mindless, heartless eyes.

The dead, scaryly calm look on his face and words.

And the frightened, hurt look on yours.

i'm scared

He sighs and chuckles lifelessly.

He only ever knows to destroy the most precious things in his life, huh?

But among all his treasures, you were the one who had made him shatter with you.

Itoshi Sae always got everything he wanted. He had always maintained and sustained everything he's got because of his natural talent and potential. His brains and looks.

Itoshi Sae has never lost anything. He has never fallen from his glory.

But hah, how could he have the courage to even say that now?

i've never fallen from quite this high

Cinderella (Joshua Hong)

Here is part 1 for the series! I hope you enjoy them! I of course had to start with my favorite fairy tale, because why not? 

Master List

Keep reading

Please someone tell me how am I supposed to play windtrace for the first time with my social anxiety and terrible social skills 🥲

Me: Forgets my friend’s/family’s birthday. even my my own birthday sometimes.

also me: TODAY IS MY BOY PERCY’S BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUD ILY HAVE SOME BLUE CAKE

I NEED HELP !!!

Around 4 years ago I began reading a soukoku fic that was based on the movie your name, sadly I closed the window in which I was reading it 🥲and I have not been able to find it ever since.

If anyone has any clues, please help this soul

Please soukoku community, I believe in you 😭

[masterlist of masterlists]

updated: july 12 2020  

please tell me if someone goes on hiatus or off hiatus, goes inactive (formally stated by the blog) and if any of the links aren’t working! i will regularly (?) update this masterlist; also if you want me to put icons for different things then please request it! (like maybe a heart or writers that also write smut, or somthing)…this took a while to make :)…also if you know any authors not listed here, tell me//dm me, please! 

i will be adding a new key that will say is the blog writes smut or not. 

KEY:

★ ; favorite

☒ ; no longer active

☓ ; hiatus // semi-hiatus

bolded ; most recent additions

Keep reading

Lando Norris and 6!

something about him is made for somebody like me | lando norris

song; the boy is mine - ariana grande

a/n: anon let me tell you right now your mind is immaculate because i had a fic based on this exact song about lando but i didn’t ended up posting it howeverrrr i always had the idea to do something like this and you just made it possible so thank you 😽

part of the spotify wrapped special

You were never one for having many crushes. In fact, you could count on one hand the number of guys you’d liked, and you’d still have fingers left over. But Lando Norris? My God. You didn’t know what it was about him, but you were convinced you were destined to be together. He was made for you.

Of course, your feelings for Lando were your little secret. Outwardly, you had no intention of showing just how smitten you were. But back at your apartment at night, you’d consult your tarot cards, asking when the time would come for things to start falling into place. If your friends could see you, they would definitely be confused. Since when did you make such an effort for a guy? But they wouldn’t understand—Lando wasn’t just any guy.

Sometimes, it felt like your efforts paid off, like when Lando smiled at you in the paddock or greeted you casually.

“Hi, y/n,” he’d say, always with that mischievous grin that was so undeniably his.

He never skipped a greeting—not even on the days he had some model-of-the-month on his arm—but it never went further than that. So, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

It started innocently enough. You lit a candle for him and wrote letters, asking the universe to make him notice you the way you noticed him. Then, you began engaging him in casual conversations at the paddock before ignoring him for a couple of days, only to flash him a radiant smile as if nothing had happened. Not long after, Lando started bringing you fruit in the mornings to your workstation. You smiled to yourself—he’d never done that before.

One day, after a tough qualifying session that left him starting P11, you handed him a quartz crystal, saying it was for good luck. The next day, he won the race. Another time, you mentioned you’d light a candle for him, and he landed pole position. Lando started looking forward to your tokens or words of encouragement each weekend. And when you didn’t give him anything? Something always went wrong.

He began depending on you, convinced you were his good luck charm.

It wasn’t witchcraft, really. He was already a great driver—you just gave him a little boost of confidence, and he did the rest. But now, not a day went by when Lando didn’t scan the paddock for you as soon as he arrived. He began to miss you when you weren’t around. The endless stream of women in his Instagram DMs no longer mattered; the only woman who held his attention was you, and you always seemed preoccupied with everyone else but him.

It wasn’t just about luck anymore. Lando wanted to be around you all the time.

What was this feeling? And why did everything suddenly smell like vanilla and coconut?

Lando frowned when he finally spotted you, laughing with Oscar. Since when were you two friends? And why were you laughing so hard? There was no way the Australian was that funny, he thought. Jealousy coursed through his veins, and he had to restrain himself from dragging you to the most secluded corner of the paddock. Instead, he walked over to Oscar and casually informed him that Andrea was looking for him, leaving you and Lando alone.

“I was actually looking for you,” the Brit said, his expression serious.

You had to suppress a smile as you looked at him—furrowed brow, clenched fists, flushed cheeks. He was jealous. Another step in your plan was working perfectly.

“Well, you found me,” you replied innocently, flashing him a sweet smile.

Lando gave you a lopsided grin, studying you. You looked so soft and sweet—he wondered how you’d look in his bed. If only he knew.

“Nothing for good luck today?” he murmured. The air between you grew warmer, and you felt your cheeks flush under his intense, yearning gaze.

“I forgot to bring something,” you replied nonchalantly. “But I could draw some cards tonight if that would help you feel more confident.”

Lando shook his head, his eyes fixed on your lips.

“You and your witchy ways. They’re going to be the death of me,” he said, stepping closer until his face was just inches from yours.

“I’m not a witch,” you defended yourself, because you weren't. To your knowledge, at least.

The scent of vanilla and coconut flooded his senses, and he nearly groaned. Lately, he smelled it all the time. It took him a moment to realize it was just your perfume. Witch or not, Lando was utterly bewitched by you.

“Maybe something else?” he murmured, circling back to his earlier question. “Just a taste,” he said, his gaze dropping to your lips, and you knew exactly what he meant.

You hid your smile, realizing you now held all the cards.

“Let’s do something,” you began. “Get pole position, and then I’ll see you in my room.”

He actually whined.

“Give me something now—for luck,” he pleaded.

You shook your head.

“After what I’ll do, you’re going to become world champion.”

You winked at him and Lando smirked mischievously, while you concealed your darkest desires behind your sweetest smile. The boy was finally yours.

Jack of all Trades [l.mk]

Summary: After saving an unknown and injured man from dying. All of a sudden, you’re under the protection of one of Seoul’s notorious mafia.

Genre: mafia!au, strangers-to-lovers!au, angst, fluff

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, smoking, language, implied sexual content 

Pairing: Mark Lee x f!reader

Word count: 7.4k

You have never been more relieved to go home after a long, gruelling day at your job. You’ve worked for a cafe for a while as a part time job, then became a full time thing after you’ve graduated to earn a little more cash to support yourself. After all, earning money is not easy. 

During one of your breaks, you instantly remembered that the results for the Nursing Licensure exams are bound to be released today. Without missing a beat, you immediately pulled out your phone, a notification popped up the moment you typed in your passcode.

LOCAL MAFIA WRECKS HAVOC, POLICE ADVICE CIVILIANS TO STAY INSIDE:

Kim Sohye | May 4, 2020 12:29 

You cleared the notification after and decided to read the article later. Crime is pretty high nowadays but you can confidently say that you live in a safe neighborhood because you’ve been walking home alone despite these happenings. 

Refreshing the site for the result, your fingers typing your exam number rapidly. How you wanted to cry at that very moment. Luckily, you can still do a retake, but you have to wait for 45 days for the next exam which gives you more time to prepare.

Keep reading

LOST TO TIME — ft. sae itoshi

synopsis : nostalgia. it’s delicate but potent. “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from an old wound” in greek. it’s the twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone – a feeling of a place where we ache to go again. but in sae’s case, it’s the painful ache in his chest to return to someone that’s already been buried by the sands of the past; the yearning for someone that’s already been lost to time.

i'm very proud with this one so enjoy <3

“everything passes.” a famous quote from one of japan’s beloved authors, osamu dazai. a man too ahead of his time with his novel ‘no longer human’. a novel that evoked a deep sense of sadness, emptiness and even nostalgia to its readers. evoked a question, “what does it mean to be human?” that no one could ever truly be answered. sae remembered reading about the man and one line about his death struck a chord in him. 

“dazai was asked to die, and he simply agreed, but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.”

everything passes.

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. t’was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport! …… is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt to foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me. …… you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe he it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the necklace. can’t believe you remembered how much i loved music. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now! sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  Thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

fin.