I'm thinking about a canon adjacent au here okay hear me out. what if pre-scenarios hsy actually thought/knew she had DID?
with the blank spots of memory and lapses of time and tiredness and weakness etc hsy started to worry she had a brain tumor or something. went to a doctor & all the scans came back clear so she was directed to a psychologist instead. she learns of DID and is kind of excited to meet this apparently other person living her life (she's maybe 20 yo atp) yet her hopes are shattered bc her alter is apparently the most. uncomunicative bastard in the world. ignored all her sticky notes saying hi, all attempts at journaling or deligating tasks or following appointments on the shared calendar or working together on anything. radio silence from them, except for throwing the notes in the trash so she knows they saw them.
hsy is annoyed. the therapist suggests they don't feel safe or secure enough to talk yet and hsy begrudgingly accepts that.
its not like the other hsy is actually putting them in danger, as far as she can tell, they spent all their time on the computer doing who knows what (browsing data is always deleted after)
their body was literally collapsing under the weight of stress though, so even if the other her wouldn't help, hsy had to start managing this shit somehow. she's forced to be the responsible one and plan her day around the other her. has to take care of things like cooking and cleaning and eating and bathing in her own limited time awake, on top of things like friends and events and of course writing for work. has to choose to rest sometimes when she wanted to go out because of the other her.
she resents the other hsy for this at first - this is one of the things she spent a long time working out in therapy (among other issues besides the DID. apparently her childhood had fucked her up more than she realized) the therapist suggested the alter may not speak directly, but they're still communicating through their actions - to try to understand them and what they might be feeling. hsy does, even though she didn't want to.
the other hsy didn't seem to have any friends or leave the house, they didn't feed themselves or drink water on their own - hsy often woke up ravenous and thirsty and they were paranoid- han sooyoung found knives under her mattress once.
hsy knew these things, they were annoying, but looked at them in a new light now. for her to act like this, her other half must be damaged and cautious - the therapist had expected it, says these conditions don't develop on their own. it was a sobering thought. hsy can deal with a couple of inconveniences if it means she can stay the carefree and extraverted person she is, not miserable and lonely like the other her. maybe that's selfish but she deserves to be selfish sometimes doesn't she?
in the beginning, she tried to force the other hsy to come out - they spent a lot of time on the pc, so she took a weekend and went to the countryside, hiked to a camping spot and set up. she had her phone but no internet and wanted to see what the other her would do.
she woke up at midnight, dirty and sweaty, muscles screaming, in the closest bus stop with her phone at 2%. she could still feel the panic and adrenaline in her trembling arms, the way she had ran here. it scared her, she didn't try to force the issue again.
as for 1863, when young hsy tried to talk to her through notes she thought "oh shit oh fuck" but then realized its not like she can get kicked out (probably?) so decided to ignore her until she gave up. she tries not to interfere with her life more than necessary.
one time she woke up in a shrinks office, freaked out, threatened to stab the therapist and fled out the door. in her defense, she hadn't talked to a real life person in a month and really hadn't expected this. (for young hsy this was actually a breakthrough in therapy. she was very excited, gave her weeks of material to work on. after apologizing profusely.)
I just love this dynamic of twitchy, very maladjusted survivor who cares about very few things in life and herself is not on that list, and the exasperated young writer who wants to enjoy her life but has to deal with bullshit at home. frustrated, but at the same time curious and sad for the other her.
How this ends is. han sooyoung wakes up at the train station, looks around, and sighs with exasperation. the other her must have left her somewhere again. there is an odd hollowness in her chest that she writes it off and then the apocalypse happens.
hsy gets the avatar skill and wryly thinks its like it was made for her. she had always wanted to talk to the other her and now after so long she finally got the chance. she creates her, sees her for the first time- older than herself, skin tight around the eyes and a hard twist to her mouth like she hadn't ever smiled. shoulders hunched, she's got a confused, lost look in her eyes.
hsy says "hey, calm down, it's okay- well. things are crazy right now but you're mostly safe, I can explain."
the other her looks at her own palms, drags them up her forhead to clutch her hair, shaking her head and groaning. she stumbles away. "what have you done?"
hsy's throat feels strangled. "I- wanted to talk to you. what- what's wrong?"
the other her doesn't answer, looking blank, and then she bolts. hsy shouts and gives chase but eventually loses her, panting for breath and holding her knees in the street. "Fucking damn it!"
canon proceeds as usual. epilogue happens and hsy remembers everything, or more accurately, the other her comes back but this time without the walls dividing them. hsy feels complete for the first time in her life, and the hollowness she felt the day the scenarios started is gone.
post epilogue domestic bliss ensues where they actually get to know each other and talk openly about their experiences, after so many years.
My m/f ships post continues to blow up. This is step 1 in getting people to care about women 😔 step 2 is getting them to care about women on their own merits and without the involvement of a man
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Hug
Lies
Sore
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Neglect
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Restless
Burnout
Stranded
Bandages
Grounding
Dislocation
Head Injury
Lost/Found
Belittlement
Waterlogged
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Mood Swings
Fetal Position
“You’re next.”
Stage(s) of Grief
Dehumanization
“Don’t you dare.”
Sensory Overload
Too Weak to Stand
The Kind One Snaps
Tossing and Turning
Inexperienced Caretaker
“Get your hands off them!”
“You’re/I’m not going anywhere.”
If there’s a prompt above you don’t feel inspired or comfortable doing, you can switch it out with one of these alternatives!
X-Rays
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Heimlich Maneuver
“Why won’t you believe me?”
[You do not recognize the bodies in the water!!]
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A short little comic I did for halloween, I've been watching and reading some scp stuff lately and being the type of person to combine stuff I consume with the media I was currently hyperfixating on, I thought "why not do this little crossover for halloween"
It's been a while since I last made some spooky drawings! This one wasn't as spooky as my last ones, but I'm still happy with how it turned out
Reposting various old pen art
Some suit poses are referencing BARBA from Twt
Fave yoohankim dynamic is always when kdj doesn’t know he’s in a polycule and yoohan is just. aggressively shoving him into the triangle like shhh it’s okay guys nobody tell him, he wouldn’t know to run if he isn’t aware.
Kimco is all in on it and they take turns beating sp with a stick to keep him away. That’s their OT3 no one ruin this for them!!!
so i don't know if I've posted about this before, but considering that the basis of power in the star stream is the kind of stories you have, and that the stories you have lock you into a continual repeat of those stories, it is intensely important to gather stories that have the right sort of themes and utility for what you're trying to do. you don't want your achilles heel to be something you don't know how to manage, and you want your strengths to be something you can easily command.
kim dokja, trying to overturn the star stream, is gathering stories with a theme of deconstruction and rebellion. intensely, intensely useful for overturning the order of the world, but more critically, also useful for ensuring the stories themselves won't rule him to quite the extent other constellation's stories do. when a theme of a story is deconstruction, you can tear it down and remake it as many times as you need to in order to achieve your goals.
(this does get out of hand a bit later with the torch that swallowed the myth. we'll discuss it when it comes lmao)
equally important that his founding stories also have themes of saving the downtrodden and working together with them. he wants to see this world overturned, but more importantly, he wants his companions to make it to the end. these are all building themes that will ensure he tells the exact kind of story he wants to tell!
You know for all intents and purposes it was a mercy that Kim Dokja’s body was expelled after his death in the tenth main scenaio
Because how much more fucked would it had been if his corpse was left.
Like he’s died before, Dokja has left corpses before and came back alive. The time limits have changed in the past and his revival has been delayed before.
How long do you think the company would’ve held onto his corpse? How long would they hold off on that funeral?
Would they notice a difference when Dokja’s body went into rigor mortis?
Has his corpse went into rigor mortis before? Because if so they still may hold onto hope.
Would they wait for decomposition to start?
Would they set him up in the usual coffin and check in on it? You know, just in case?
How long would it take the others to get Dokja’s body out of Yoo Joonghyuk’s arms?
The conversations these people have are SO deranged. In the span of a single page
1.Han Sooyoung says she will seduce Yoo Joonghyuk, being delusionally overconfidant considering he has killed her once already but go off girlboss, live your #femalemanipulator #femmefatale fantasy
2. Kim Dokja looks her up and down and tells her she is 'so flat and so short being attracted to you is pedophilia & I know for a fact Yoo Joonghyuk is not a pedophile" which is SHADE that could only come from a gay man
3. They both recall the last time they met Yoo Joonghyuk. Kim Dokja casually says 'you know I beat him up last time I saw him so he probably wants to kill me lol' and Han Sooyoung strokes her neck and wistfully reminisces about her own beheading (??)
What I'm saying is that there's something very wrong with all three of them that is SO compelling. This is how you write character interactions
[Image ID: Anna Croft lays on the ground in a denim jacket + red flannel, with the flannel pooled around her looking like blood. There is an injury in her torso that Selena Kim is drinking her elixir-blood from. Selena Kim is wearing the out fit depicted in the webtoon with several arrows coming out of her back.
Next to Anna Croft’s head is a patch of dandelion, and she lies in front of some grass and raspberries. Farther behind her is a partially broken wall, which behind that has a weathered staircase.
At the far right of the drawing is a pillar covered in ivy, and on the intact part of the wall is a mural of Han Sooyoung holding Yoo Joonghyuk’s wrist up to Kim Dokja’s mouth, the latter of which is wearing a shirt and tie and holding his phone. Blood is coming from Yoo Joonghyuk’s wrist and is around the area Kim Dokja’s mouth would be. None of the people in the mural have faces.
The sun is rising or setting from behind another hole in the wall behind the staircase. /End ID]
The fact that the blood-elixir could have been an accidental discovery, like, maybe it was fore-seen but the fact that Anna being so gravely injured so often leads to her being able to heal others runs in parallel to yoohankim’s sacrifice to save one another.
Consumption running in parallel.
Dandelion - resilience, healing Raspberry - blood, love Ivy - fidelity, eternal life
This piece grown a lot from what it was originally going to be. At first I was going to just have it be Selena feeding on Anna's elixir blood (a concept I am shocked I have not seen anyone else do with SelenaCroft). But then I began to realize, in the process making of this piece, that I could call upon the parallels between Anna Croft and Yoo Joonghyuk and the way that the consumption of them can keep someone alive.
Any Pronouns, Agender Aromantic, ORV fan 💚On AO3 as WishingToBeAnonymous
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