Thank You For Being Born

-Yoo Joonghyuk, pro gamer

I am suddenly very interested in reading someone’s fanfiction in which:

Kim Dokja’s Fourth Wall goes into overdrive when he has a panic attack, blurring him so much that he’s either entirely invisible or only a hazy distortion in the air

He endures this a couple of times alone when no one is looking for him

When he panics during an important moment, though, the others notice his absence and look for him

And one of two things happens: either 1) KimCom finds him and is able to protect him well enough for him to come back and be loved on, or 2) only Han Sooyoung finds him, and she uses her writer’s mind to comfort him, tie him back to reality, and help him reconnect with his sense of self rather than dissociating by describing what he looks like, piece by piece, painting a picture of him with her words as if he were a character (just like he tries to be when he copes alone), until he’s there, on his knees in front of her, tear tracks staining the corners of his eyes

I think it’s pretty clear which of those two scenarios I find more compelling, but I think the other could be fleshed out enough to hit pretty hard, too

Basically I want Kim Dokja to feel seen and real and like a meaningful part of the physical world

ur first and last recent emojis are ur gender now. mine is 🅱👨‍❤‍💋‍👨

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUFUCK YOU FUCK

I'm tweaking out so bad rn y'all have no idea I'm literally punching the walls and ripping up the pillows and shit

..............................

*looking disdainfully at orv top kudos page* kdj doesn't even fucking hate himself in these

anyway, have you made a fic rec post? I would love to see some well characterised orv fics but I don't know how to find them and you are the only person who knows hsy personally through prophetic visions :DD

i have not made a general orv one! im honoured you trust my taste enough to ask though honestly i'm not the biggest kim dokja angst fiend so im unsure if you'll get what youre looking for. still i'll give it a shot

i am the dreadful need (and the devotee) - i have recommended this before and i'm doing so again. a vaguely orpheus and eurydice inspired story focused on the inevitability of looking back. it's technically yoohankim but mainly a sort of yoo joonghyuk character study that i highly enjoyed

The Act of Creation - a post-epilogue tranfem yoo joonghyuk fic that is a fandom classic (to me at least) by my dear mutual! a very sweet fic and a good extrapolation of many of the trans themes/moments in yoo joonghyuk's story

The cough that won't go away - an adorable hanahaki au ( i shant spoil who between) set about 10 years post epilogue. made me laugh a lot and captures a lot of the warmth in the relationships in kimcom

the false last act - top 10 fics that make me wanna puke and throw up and die and kill myself and die again. slash pos. really good epilogue fic!!!

The Scars of Dreaming - a fic centred on conversations between oldest dream and kim dokja carried out over a period of time as they both try to adjust post-epilogue.

and you will find your way in any given storm - thee na bori/lee jihye fic as far as im concerned.

what the living do - another good epilogue fic. epilogue fics tend to be a favourite of mine im realising.....what can i say im fascinated by that time in their lives and i think this fic portrays it well

Moments that the Words Don't Reach - another epilogue fic this time focused on han sooyoung taking care of yoo mia after yoo joonghyuk leaves for space. when i say this devastated me beyond belief i am not joking. i will be thinking about the scene on the subway forever and ever

a couple general author recs are:

stuffandsundry has a lot of good fics but i especially recommend this selencroft fic, this 0th turn fic, and this 999th lee jihye fic! theyre all short oneshots that capture moments of relationships in orv that make my heart hurt

namci is another i recommend, they have a lot of good oneshots that i think i've recommended before. alternatively making me cackle and nod thoughtfully at character analysis. i would especially suggest this yoohankim university au

sonasona is an orv veteran and has a delightful array of works to show for it. what remains is a particular favourite as i adore cigarettes and the metaphorical implications thereof

i'm sure there are others im forgetting right now but these are more or less the best from my bookmarks so..hope you enjoy :)

Now posted

Past/future swap with KDJ but instead of his middle school self, he swaps with 51% and 51% has to deal with /gasp/ EMOTIONS

SQI-SQUI-SQUUUUIDJAAAA!!!

thinking again about kim dokja's face censor and how its such a good mechanic. foreshadows the most ancient dream reveal. shows how his desperate wish to be a normal child effects him still to this day. functions as an extension of his reader-self-insert status. and most excellently shows exactly how much his disassociation and distancing from everyone and everything in his life affects him, to the point where his loved ones can't even recognize his face. that when they think of him it is with his back turned and expression obscured because they never knew anything else. no one can recall his features, be reminded of them when they look at his mother or see his familiar facial expressions in his kids. he's perpetually a blank slate, someone neither we nor his loved ones can see anything distinctive in because thats the point of his character and i so deeply adore it. someone needs to get sing shong out of the kitchen because they cannot keep cooking like this

I'm thinking of making a temporary server for an ORV book club reread. This would be ideally for those who have read ORV at least once so we can discuss spoilers and stuff during the second read through. We can set up weekly/bi-weekly chapter counts, have discussions, and such.

The server would basically be just to talk about ORV during the time of check-ins and/or placing your thoughts/having discussions while reading. It's not supposed to be a gen chat kind of place or just an ORV fan server, just FYI.

Would people be interested? I was thinking of setting something up for August 1st so those who bought the english novel can start off reading that, but we can consider starting sooner if people want sooner.

Again, this server would only last the length of the reread and is meant for just discussion of the novel/meta commentary/etc for those who have read ORV at least once.

Those who are also interested in continuing into the side stories (which I will be doing as they are the continuation of ORV officially) can also stick around in the server to continue the book club from there. We'll figure out the "how" when we get a bit closer. They are almost as long as ORV is rn (somewhere in the 400-500 chapters fyi)

Doing an interest check.

assorted orvs again :]