I Kinda Miss Our Talks.

If you want to predict where you will end up in life all you have to do it to follow the curve of tiny gains or tiny losses and see how your daily choices will compound 10 or 20 years down the line.

Are you spending less than you on each month are you making it into the gym each with are you reading books and learning something new.

Each day tiny battles like these other one's that will define your future self.

#atomichabits

Turned over 20 pages.. Still couldn't find any new twist to spice things a bit..

Ahh but won't lose hope.. Its somewhere around to make an iconic entry to cheer me up

Imma waiting keenly for ya kiddo

“Move on. It’s a chapter in your life. Don’t close the book, just turn the page for a new chapter.”

— Brooklyn Copeland

I'm exhausted from listening to music,

Making an effort feels impossible,

Waiting seems endless,

Even the things I love feel burdensome.

Nothing I do helps me feel better.

Getting up from my bed is a struggle,

Relieving the pain feels like an uphill battle,

Accepting the pain is overwhelming.

I find it hard to validate myself,

And to give my heart the love it deserves.

What's the point of living if you can't be there for yourself?

Why did I give myself to someone without any guarantee?

I hate to acknowledge its return,

And this time its aim is ambiguous,

Which makes it all the more disturbing.

It breaks my heart,

I feel like a soul trapped in my body,

Trying to break free from these unwanted thoughts.

I feel imprisoned in my own mind and body,

My soul shackled by my physical form.

Every racing heartbeat feels like a cry for help,

As if it’s banging on a door, begging to be freed.

My mind acts like a silent watcher,

Its evil laughter echoing,

Seeming more wicked than ever.

I know this isn't me,

Because if it were, I would open the door,

And let my inner self find happiness.

I feel helpless,

Falling back into the dungeon.

And I don’t know if I'll be saved again by someone,

Or if I’m just waiting to drown and crawl back to my space.

I don't want to drown,

I'm scared like a baby.

I can hear people calling my name,

I can hear her calling.

It feels good to be called by name:

"Arundhathi... Arundhathi..."

It's my friend calling,

Pooja is calling me,

And I’m twitching suddenly.

Help, please, please ask for help.

Am I being overdramatic, or am I just a little stressed?

I don't know what can help me feel better.

Exercise, a walk, or a long talk with my friend, or making new connections?

What can I try?

Is this a poem? No.

Writing poems relieves stress,

Makes me feel like I'm good enough.

Honestly, I don't doubt my abilities anymore.

I know I'm good enough.

And poetry ensures that feeling always stays.

But this isn't a poem; it's a stream of consciousness written in verses.

Can't wait for my friends to find the love and happiness they deserve.

Don't go with the flow, be the flow

- Elif Shafak

It means instead of just doing what everyone else is doing, you should be the one who decides what to do and how to do it. Be unique and make your own path instead of just following others.

I hate liking people. Y’all fail me every time

I'm so happy tht I'm not crying now

Guessing the tablets indeed worked

I can take care of myself

For tht I need to die first

Nd then reborn and recreate

please don’t get tired of me. i’m trying my best