I HATE MORAL OCD. Well I Shouldnt Say Hate Thats A Strong Word. And I Dont Want To Sound Like I Hate

So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school… let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didn’t take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.

Okay, so, freshman year, I’m deep in my “everything sucks and I’m stuck with these assholes” mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, let’s call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didn’t get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.

One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.

All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the ol’ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.

So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.

And Mr. Hargrove loved it.

It wasn’t just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.

Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, “Some pipsqueak.”

And that’s when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.

Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.

One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargrove’s complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix “ize” to a verb.

That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added “ize” to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.

And, people… The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.

And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying “fuck you” to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)

So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.

Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.

Yup returning to necromancy, I’m so back. And you’re so back, and you’re so back, and you’re so back, and you’re

executive dysfunction is legitimately physically uncomfortable. i’ll be trapped between two things, weirdly caught on how-much-time-it-might-take-me. i take hours worried im going to take hours doing things. i’ll sit on the floor for the entire day, caught up in the middle of not-doing the chores i actually do want to be doing.

& the amount of mental energy that goes into it. & the legitimate amount of anger and discomfort and self-hate. is not “being lazy”.  it’d be a lot less work if i didn’t have to fight myself to just get up and do it. 

i just need you to understand it’s not effortless. it’s never effortless. it’s not “okay let me just get up and finally start doing this.” it’s more like. i am slamming my foot on the pedal but the car is in neutral and nothing is moving. it’s more like shouting instructions into a dying telephone. it’s more like being trapped in a small electric box, and someone who hates me is administering shocks. 

im trying. im trying. please help me get up.

rule #1 of being a child soldier is to have fun and be yourself

bat mosaic at the rijksmuseum you are all i think about 💖

im so tired of seeing that Ukrainians are "white privileged." WHERE. WHERE THE FUCK. JUST WHERE. Ukrainians and Ukrainian culture whas been OPPRESSED. Ukrainian language and culture has been BANNED from everything by russia CENTURIES AGO. Ukrainian artists and writers have been KILLED AND OPPRESSED AND BANNED from writing literature in Ukrainian. we are literally being KILLED just because we are Ukrainian. what the fuck do you mean by white privilege.

What the fuck Zelenskyi has to apologise for?

Ukraine has been in state of active war for over 2 years, over 10 in a slow frozen conflict.

According to various factions on le internet, Ukraine has to apologise for

telling Isreael to resepct international rules too late

for recognising Palestine since 1988

for hitting oil depots in russia

for escalating the conflict

for not doing enough

for for being far right zionist state (???)

for killing russian rapists i meant russian soldier

for stationing air raid defence in cities

for swinding american tax payers

for getting too much international attention

for USA housing/education/healthcare crisis

for fucking breathing, i guess

There's a reccuring theme of Ukraine being blamed for a 3rd party problem, and we here are reacting with "So we have to solve your problem too?"

Text translation:

"Ran khokly (slur for Ukrainians) from their home in Mariupol, and now I'm sitting and resting on my yard. Thank you russian soldiers for such an opportunity. Glory to Russia"

These is yet another example of an ordinary russian person who has nothing to do with politics, just casually moves in into a home of a Ukrainian family who (best case scenario) fled their home.