Toh X Omori

today is video games’s birthday.

Are you alive

Don’t ask me no personal shit like this

a collection of some of my favorite mystic messenger chat bubbles

not now sweetie mommy’s bearing the curse.

hi everyone i hope you dont mind if i

(hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws)

I have a lot of feelings about this movie

TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 5

Omega: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase?  Echo: I accidentally fell down.  Hunter: WRECKER PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay HIS part of our rent!  Crosshair: Echo bet me fifty credits that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than he did falling down it, so I slid down the banister to get my money.  Tech: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Crosshair.

Omega: *eating a cinnamon roll*  Hunter: Cannibalism.  Omega: *confused chewing noises*

Tech: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?  Hunter: What did you just say-  Tech: Foetons! *Laughs*  Hunter: Wh-what? 

Wrecker: I give up. I am so tired.  Echo: Get the emergency supply!  Tech: *carries Omega and places her in front of Wrecker*  Omega: *smiles*  Wrecker: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO 

Hunter: Crosshair, Wrecker, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?  Crosshair, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Wrecker is sitting atop: Oh nothing much.  Wrecker: I love you too :) 

*In a group chat* Hunter: A pegan just flew into my window. Omega: Pegan? Tech: A what? Echo: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan. Wrecker: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO! Echo: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window. Wrecker: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window. Hunter: I literally just made a typo-

Crosshair: How do Hunter and Tech usually get out of these messes?  Echo: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out. 

*Tech teaching Wrecker to drive and taking Crosshair along for the ride*  Tech: That's a pothole. To the left!  Wrecker: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*  Crosshair, sticking his face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.  Wrecker: I don't think that's how the song goes.  Tech, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.  Wrecker: Country Roads.  Crosshair: To the place.  Wrecker and Crosshair in unison: I Belong!  Tech, crying harder: What the fuck?

Hunter: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Wrecker, putting his hands over Crosshair’s eyes: Guess who!  Crosshair: It's either Wrecker or the cold, clammy hands of death.  Wrecker, putting his hands away: It's Wrecker!  Crosshair: Dammit.

Echo: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK. Hunter: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG. Echo: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO. Wrecker: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins. Crosshair: Looks like someone's a HO. Hunter: NaBrO. Tech: I'm done with all of you!

Crosshair: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

Wrecker: Oh god, he texted you ‘hi.’’ Punctuation only means one thing, Tech. He's mad at you. Tech: No, it's Crosshair. He's just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Crosshair: And then I used a period so he'd know that I'm mad at him. Hunter: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Crosshair: I stand by my choice.

Echo: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Wrecker: Several traffic violations. Tech: Three counts of resisting arrest. Crosshair: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Hunter: Also, that’s not our car.

Tech: Hunter is late again. Echo: How did this happen? I called him at 8 o’clock this morning and pretended it was 11. Wrecker: I printed up a fake schedule for him saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon. Omega: I set his clock to say PM when it’s really AM. Tech: Oh boy. We may have overdone it. *Hunter bursts through the door* Hunter: WHAT TIME IS IT?

Tech: Would you slap Wrecker- Crosshair: Yes. Tech: I didn't even finish! Crosshair: Sorry, continue. Tech: Would you slap Wrecker for 10 dollars? Crosshair: I would do it for free. Wrecker: Rude...

Omega: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Tech: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Hunter: Three of us saw it, Tech. How do you explain that? Tech: *points at Crosshair* Sleep deprivation. *points at Hunter* Paranoia. *points at Echo* Delusional personality disorder.

Hunter: I think this might be a bad idea... Echo: Don't start thinking on me now!

Echo: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Wrecker! Tech: So Wrecker knows about this? Echo, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

Echo: Wrecker- Wrecker: *sighs* Crosshair used to call me Wrecker... Echo: ...Because it's your fucking name.

Crosshair: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer. Hunter: Crosshair: Hunter: ...Please, go back to bed.

Wrecker: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single? Tech: Do not do that. Wrecker: You won’t even notice! Phee, entering: Wrecker, you wanted to see me again? Wrecker: Tech's single Tech:

Hunter: I'm cold. Echo: Here, take my hoodie. *meanwhile* Omega: I'm cold. Crosshair: I can't control the weather, Omega.

Omega: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Crosshair: I only like dark humor. Omega, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? Crosshair: Omega: An IMPASTA!

Omega, trying her first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY! Hunter, an avid coffee drinker, on his twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

Tech: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli. Wrecker, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

Omega: Hey, Crosshair? I need advice. Crosshair: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

*Crosshair and Wrecker's house is on fire, but they don't know it*  Crosshair: Damn, it's hot in here.  Wrecker: I know, it's so hot there's smoke coming out of the vent!  Crosshair:  Crosshair: First of all, I'm assuming you have no idea what the problem with that statement is.  Wrecker: What?  Crosshair: Second of all, we need to get the fuck out of here, NOW. Wrecker: I think I did fairly well on my anatomy quiz! :)  Omega: I forgot I was doing a test.  Echo: Omega.  Omega: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny....  Tech: Omega.

Wrecker: Hey, Hunter. Why did the chicken cross the road?  Hunter: To get to the other side?  Wrecker: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?“  Hunter: Uh... fine. I don’t know. Why did it cross the road?  Wrecker: To get to the idiot’s house.  Hunter: ...Ok?  Crosshair: Hey, Hunter. Knock knock.  Hunter: No.  Crosshair: You were supposed to say “who’s there?”  Hunter: Fine... let’s get this over with. Who’s there?  Crosshair: The chicken.  Hunter: Crosshair: Wrecker: Hunter: Listen here you little shits-

Echo: You know what?  Echo: When I joined this group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.  *Crosshair, Wrecker and Tech continue screaming about mold water*  Echo: Not the other way around. Hunter: I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

Echo: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!  Tech: How can you still say that?  Echo: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Crosshair: Come on, Wrecker! How any times do I have to apologize?  Wrecker: Once!  Crosshair: ...No.

Echo: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.  The Squad: Awwww-  Echo: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."  The Squad: Oh.

Wrecker: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!  Tech: Wrecker, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.  Wrecker: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!  Crosshair: ...It was a bug.  Wrecker: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!  Tech: ...  Crosshair: ...  Wrecker: Stop looking at me like that!

Tech: Did you win? Or just not die?  Tech: Either way, hooray.  Hunter: ...Is "no" a valid answer?  Tech: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.

Hunter: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.  Crosshair: Hunter, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.  Hunter: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.  Crosshair: Well, I mean yeah.  Hunter: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.  Crosshair: Wait, you just made them?  Hunter: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.  Crosshair: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Hunter.

*The Squad when asked about their earlier confession of love*  Echo: Yeah, you're lucky. I like you.  Tech: I'd understand if you didn't feel the same way...  Hunter: *has a panic attack* What confession?  Wrecker: *winks* I know, babe. You like me too.  Crosshair: So what? Are you going to date me or not? 

*Tech sends more than 5 messages in a row*  Crosshair: I ain’t reading all that.  Crosshair: I’m happy for you tho.  Crosshair: Or sorry that happened.

Omega: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.  Hunter: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?  Tech: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.  Wrecker: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!  Crosshair: ...put it away. 

Crosshair: I’m quick at math.  Tech: Ok, what’s 38 times 76?  Crosshair: 24.  Tech: That wasn’t even close.  Crosshair: But it was quick.

Echo: While I'm gone, you're in charge Tech.  Tech: Yes!  Echo, whispering to Hunter: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad.  Hunter: Obviously.

Omega, piloting the Marauder: We have fun, don’t we, Tech?  Tech: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

Wrecker: *dangling from a rope over a pit of fire* Remember when I said I’d tell you when we’re in too deep?  Omega: Yes?  Wrecker: We’re in too deep.

Hunter: When life gives you lemonades, make lemons! Life will be all like "whaAttT?"  Echo: Life lessons that schools can't teach you.

Crosshair: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Wrecker will and will not eat.  Echo: Grass? Yes!  Crosshair: Moss? Yes!!  Echo: Leaves? Ohh, yes!  Crosshair: Shoelaces? Strange but true!  Echo: Worms? Sometimes!  Crosshair: Rocks? Usually nah.  Echo: Twigs? Usually!  Crosshair: Tech's cooking? Inconclusive!  Hunter: How did you… test this?  Crosshair: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.  Hunter: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.  Tech: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Omega, gesturing to Echo: Wrecker, look what you did! You made Mom upset!  Tech: Mom, please don’t cry, we’re sorry!  Wrecker: I’m sorry Mom... :(  Echo, near tears: I DON’T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU! 

It really was mystic messenger that ruined my life. You are really going to give me a scenario in which a super mega rich 26 y/o with his entire life together falls in love with me without seeing what I look like then proposes to me within like 10ish days of meeting me via text OH AND ALSO HES SO HOT?!?!?!? I have been set up to fail.