I’m Just A Bitch With Bad Posture And An Irregular Sleeping Schedule 

Mammon: *with a walkie talkie following Belphie* The cow is out of the farm I repeat the cow is...

Belphie: *Taking the walkie talkie* THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

MC: *on the other side of walkie talkie* I am scared of you so Mammon keeps me updated to know if I leave my room or not

Belphie: I am not going to hurt you

MC: bitch you said the same and killed me I ain't risking it again

once i beat the depression and the burnout and the anxiety and the loneliness and the exhaustion and the guilt and the awkwardness and the apathy and the low income and the chronic illness and the impatience and the vulnerability and the creative block and the capitalism and the cruelty THEN you'll see

“Woaah look at the moon” Me literally every night no matter what phase the moon is.

Feral Gojo english dub highlights... Just close your eyes and listen..

If Obi-Wan had actually stayed on Mandalore with Satine after the Civil War and left the Jedi Order, it would've made The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones peak comedy.

Like, Qui-Gon would still be sent to Naboo and end up on Tatooine, he'd still meet Anakin and take him back to the Temple. But, in this AU, he survives the battle on Theed and takes Anakin as his padawan. And the entire Order would be making jokes:

"Congrats on the new padawan! Hope he sticks around longer than the last one!" "We'll keep this one off the bodyguard missions, eh Qui-Gon?"

So one day little Anakin’s like "hey master, what happened to your last padawan?" And Qui-Gon's like "oh he ran off with a girl, yeah he's royalty in the Outer Rim now".

And it's all fine and dandy until Anakin’s nineteen and they get assigned to protect Padmé, and Qui-Gon takes one look at this kid's face and thinks "You've got to be fucking kidding me, this shit again??"

sorry for acting batshit crazy I was feeling a little unwanted

Romancing Elliott be like-

Farmer- (Breaks into Elliott’s house at 10 in the morning on his birthday)

Elliott- Oh hello there Farmer.

Farmer- (Plays the piano for funny Elliott Easter Egg)

Elliott- That’s a nice tune-

Farmer- (Gives Elliott their only pomegranate that you know DAMN well they could have given to the enchanters bundle but didn’t)

Elliott- How did you know this was my favorite frui-

Farmer- I know everything. Now tell me about yourself.

Elliott- Well-

Farmer- Thank you. (Skitters away with their 4+ hearts)

Elliott- ….

Elliott- That’s my future spouse.

The boys from Mystic Messenger would never treat me like this.