Some NPMD Motifs I Really Like

So ahhhhh I wanted a silly avatar with an aroace flag and dinosaur, but I didn’t find one that was the appropriate level of silliness, so I made it for myself and along with the others on the spectrum, enjoy

happy barbieheimer day

happy barbenheimer day 🫶🏼

I FORGOT TO REUPLOAD THIS STUPID JOKE

I laughed WAY too hard while making this btw

video series

The SS Warrimoo, a passenger steamship traveling from Vancouver to Australia, was silently knifing its way across the mid-Pacific waters. The navigator had just finished calculating a star fix and handed the results to Captain John DS. Phillips.

The Warrimoo's coordinates were LAT 0º 31' N, LONG 179 30' W. The date was December 31, 1899. "Know what this means?" First Mate Payton announced, "We're only a few miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date Line."

Captain Phillips was prankish enough to seize the opportunity to do the nautical feat of a lifetime. He summoned his navigators to the bridge to double-check the ship's position. He altered his course slightly to focus directly on his target. He then altered the engine's speed.

The calm weather and clear night worked to his advantage. At midnight, the SS Warrimoo rested on the Equator, exactly where it had crossed the International Date Line. The ramifications of this odd arrangement were numerous.

The ship's bow was in the Southern Hemisphere, in the middle of summer. The stern was in the Northern Hemisphere, in the midst of winter. The date on the aft portion of the ship was December 31, 1899. The date on the forward half of the ship was January 1, 1900. The ship experienced multiple days, months, years, seasons, and centuries simultaneously.

Every time I remember this I laugh so hard I cry

“Do you like girls?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you like boys?”

“I don’t know. I think I like TV shows.”

I remember when I was in middle school all the other girls were talking about the guys they liked and I said I didn’t like anyone. I just wanted to do my own thing.

I didn’t really get why I would want to date anyone. I understood friendship, companionship— having someone to share my interests and mutually info dump to sounded cool— but I struggled to understand the appeal of spending every day and every night with someone else. Of holding hands and going on dates. 

This led to a lot of homophobic bullying and a few of them would act disgusted that I might be into them. Constantly acting like I was looking at their boobs and sexualizing them (I never made eye contact with anyone and would frequently look at the wall or space out while looking in their general direction). Or make a big show of not being interested and many other things.

I didn’t get this either. I didn’t know why I would be interested in any of them. They treated me poorly and I thought attraction was something people made up and simply just claimed to feel towards other people.

Just like I never understood celebrity crushes. You don’t know the person so how could you possibly know you liked them? And I never understood how people “chose” who they dated. Did they just choose whoever they liked hanging out with the most?

But any time I voiced this it was always met with worse and worse reactions. It led to isolation among peers and my family. My parents made it pretty clear I wasn’t who they wanted me to be. That I wasn’t normal.

I soon learned to fake it. Pretend I understood it.

The idea of not being attracted to anyone seemed like a foreign idea to most people I met. Even when I branched out and moved away, I met a few people in the lgbt community who couldn’t grasp it either and reacted poorly and it made me feel stupid. Like maybe I wasn’t just screwed up to people who fit in the neat little box society wants you to fit in, but to everyone else as well.

Maybe I was wrong. If it’s an impossibility even in this community that champions diversity and acceptance then can that really be my reality?

I kept trying to force it. To date, but every time I did I always felt that same skin crawling discomfort and it always petered out. It didn’t matter who it was or what gender. It always felt wrong. It was suffocating.

I don’t think there’s a movie that better portrays that all consuming, suffocating stagnation of feeling so out of place– knowing you’re out of place compared to those around you– and in response forcing yourself to fit what other people expect of you than I Saw the TV Glow.

Whenever I think back to growing up or whenever I return home that same feeling this movie is centered around always drenches my experiences.

And even now it’s hard to put into words when I talk to other people what I’ve felt when it comes to this aspect of my life.

That comment from Owen about knowing there’s nothing there when talking about romance and attraction, but being too afraid to look and knowing that his parents know something is wrong with him hit harder than any other scene from a movie I’ve watched this year.

It’s that absence of something that is at the heart of asexuality that makes me always question what I choose to identify as when I have to explain it to someone. Because for the most part my explanation boils down to (in broad oversimplified terms): I’ve never felt attraction, I’m more interested in watching a Spider-Man movie than I’ve ever been into even just the idea of dating, every time I’ve attempted to date it’s been uncomfortable and I’ve actively dodged anything beyond friendship while in the “relationship”.

And when I try to voice that to another person it always feels like those experiences don’t hold water. That’s describing the absence of something. There’s no real proof of the identity.

With being bi or gay or lesbian there’s something you can I don’t know—point to?— that can help you know your identity.

And that’s the fact that you’ve experienced attraction towards one or more people of one or more genders.

It’s defined not by the lack of something but the presence of an experience.

And so every time I try and explain it I end up feeling stupid. Like I just haven’t tried hard enough to find someone compatible. That I need to get back into the proverbial saddle and try again. I always in some way feel ashamed and backtrack as a result.

This is in no way to say that it’s harder or easier to be one identity or the another. Everyone’s experiences are different and everyone experiences are valid. This is just a struggle I’ve found that’s unique to asexuality that many people I’ve talked to have also experienced.

I haven’t felt that part of my experience be seen in media until I saw this movie. Maybe I’m latching onto what I can get or maybe that was an intrinsic part of the movie. That’s not important. What’s important is that it’s something I felt seen in even if it was literally just one scene.

This is my really long winded and roundabout way of saying that I really think this movie is going to stick with me much longer than any other thing I’ve seen this year.

Things can be hard to put into words and as a result I tend to keep things inside. I’m fairly certain I’m ace but it might turn out I’m on a different romantic spectrum then I thought or I fall somewhere different than I thought on the ace spectrum. I don’t know what I’ll discover in the future.

I’m likely not going to express my label out loud to anyone but a select few. I still can’t express this particular label out loud to many people. My family is definitely never going to hear it. A friend or two might.

It’s something I struggle with on a regular basis. I’m fine with identifying with the label in my head—in a lot of ways it makes me feel comfortable and happy— but any time I try to voice it the words die in my throat and I can’t help but feel ashamed. It’s easier to just tell people I don’t want to date right now. That there are all these factors in the way (finances, time, jobs, etc) than it is to try and explain what I’ve just rambled about above.

I know many people have felt and understood that experience and I hope people know they’re valid. You can express your identity with your full chest, shout it from the rooftops and let people know, or you can keep it to yourself, identifying as your label solely in your head. Both experiences are valid. And if your label changes at some point in your life that doesn’t make what you chose to identify as at this point any less valid too. People are always learning and growing. You can gain a new understanding of yourself as time move forward.

Sorry for the way too long ramble. This movie made me feel things.

GUYS I JUST SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I AM DYING

Alternative Klance- Part 1

Hello! This is a Klance fan fic thing from this au concept- http://caseydambro.tumblr.com/post/167469469335/au-where-team-voltron-meets-alternate-team-voltron I got permission so write it so yEAH HERE YA GO

The tapping of feet could be heard, humming as if it was an alternative rock song. Though, it was horribly off and way out of tune, a big grin on the source of the sound. Lance was humming loudly in the lounging room along with Keith and Pidge, whom had their neon green headphones on as she typed on her laptop. The pale teenaged boy was visibly irritated, a headache forming as one of his favorite songs were being hummed by the one and only Lance. A growled emmited from him, and Lance chucked. “Aww, is Keith liking my humming? Shall I sing?” He cooed, then stood up before the other could respond. A series of lyrics rolled off the Cuban boy’s lips as he danced, purposely performing a disaster routine. Right before Keith was about to snap, Shiro walked in and a suspicious look grew onto his face. “Lance, why are you dancing? And infront of Keith?” The mullet head crossed his arms firmly, “and what’s that supposed to mean?” The other smirked and simply replied. “Nothing. Anyways, I came in here to tell you that Allura wants us all in the main room.”

By the time the whole team, along with the Blade of Mamora, gathered round- Lance and Keith were already bickering about music tastes. Then the familiar dark skinned altean cleared her throat, indicating for them all to listen up. “Hello everyone, I asked for you to all meet here because we have been asked to meet Elprup- the ruler of the planet Nonnac. He offers to give us food if we speak to him about joining the coalition, which we need to stalk up on. So I ask of Shiro and Kolivan to accompany me.” Allura looked at the two, and they both nodded their heads in agreement. “Perfect! Their civilization is very friendly, so the rest of you can check everything out- though there is a very violent group among them.” Lance cheered, ignoring the warning about the danger. They all started to head out, and they all looked around while exploring the town, many purple structures around them. Keith ended up settling down at a small carnival- or at least that’s what humans would consider it. He was tossing rings onto odd bottle-like targets. The boy was struggling but his stubborness got to him as he tried again and again. Eventually Lance saw the other, and watched him for a bit. Already after three throws, he came over to give Keith tips. The two resulted into a competition once he got the hang of it.

Neck and neck, both of the two teens were one point away from winning. Keith tossed his, but then fumbled from sudden contact. Warm arms wrapped around him from behind, and he could see his paladin armor as he blushed. “Lance..?” Keith turned around slowly to face Lance in tears with a faded scar across his face. His hair was unusually messy, along with chapped lips. The Cuban male suddenly swooped in and locked their lips together, and Keith could feel all the blood in his body rise up to his cheeks. Meanwhile, the ‘neat’ Lance had a shocked expression, trying to process this as the other glanced at him worryingly. As soon as they pulled away, the worned down Cuban spoke. “I thought you were dead, oh my god! I’m so happy you’re alive, I knew you wouldn’t go down to the galra.”

Mullet boy gawked, his jaw wide open as he glanced between the two red paladins. “Am I.. Imagining things? Am I the only one who seems this?” The relieved one turned his attention to his counterpart with wide eyes. He immediately jumped up, pointing at the other. “WHAT THE QUIZNAK?!” The ‘original’ Cuban stammered while speaking, though he was energized like the other. “WHO ARE YOU?! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME?” “SAME GOES FOR YOU!” The other replied. The two Lances were making quite a scene, and Keith pulled them both by the wrist and into an alley way.

“Okay, so I came here with this Lance, how did you get here? And why did you think I was dead?” The pale boy asked. The new blue started to explain. “Okay, so I kind of ran away from team Voltron to find you… You disappeared right after we defeated Zarkon, you left your lion without any trace. Keith, you’ve been gone for almost five months now! And I finally found you- I’ve been searching for you for so long- going planet to planet.. I even went through this weird wormhole to find you! And I did it- I have to tell the others.” “Woah woah woah, what’s this thing about the wormhole?” His counterpart asked.

“Oh.. That? Well I saw it open and I supposed Allura maybe left it open from the other side, but it wasn’t a circle, more like a tear.” The two rivals looked at eachother for a moment, seeming as if they were trying to ask the other what he may be talking about. The pale teen shrugged and turned his attention back to the warn down boy. “Well uh, what can we call you?” The other thought for a moment and smirked. “The tailor, cause I thread the needle~”

Keith face palmed with a sigh as the Lance he arrived with high fived the other. “But seriously, call me…. Lane! It kind of sounds like Lance, right?” The other two agreed with shrugs. “Let’s just… We need to tell the others, come on you two.” Keith started and headed towards the castle ship, hoping to meet Coran inside.