All I Need Is For Someone To Gently Cup My Face And Tell Me I'm Not As Doomed As I Feel.

Talia and Tim must have the most awkward relationship ever and i bet Jason and Damian find it hysterical.

Bruce: of course you remember Jason and Damian, and this is Tim, the previous Robin before Damian took over.

Talia: yes. we’ve… met.

Bruce, sensing tension: ?

Jason, fully aware and grinning widely: do you call him step-daddy?

Tim: fucks sake Jason he just tried to make me his wife that one time, i was never actually WITH Ra’s.

Damian, amused: it is fascinating that for a short period my mother almost became my technical niece, though.

Talia: Damian.

Tim: i hate this family

Jason: really? because this is the first time i’ve ever been actively excited to be here

Damian, who grew up with advanced tutors in every subject at the loa, would NOT be chill with having to denigrate himself towards putting up with fucking. Gotham level teachers. so like what if after finding out one of his previous tutors that 1) Damian actually considered acceptable, 2) is skilled in multiple subjects, and 3) is Talia approved to the point of adoption, is actually in Gotham working as the Red Hood, Damian just stops attending the school Bruce signed him up for.

he’s smart about it; gets dropped off and picked up outside the entrance every day, lets Alfred/Dick/Tim/Bruce see him enter and exit the building, acts like he’s adjusting really well to the civilian school system, and yet on gods green earth that boy has not attended a single fucking class in five months. three minutes into first period he’s out the window and getting a ride to Jason’s safe house to continue learning at a pace that he actually benefits from.

i feel like having helped raise/teach the kid for a couple years in the league and having worked with/been on sort of amicable terms with a few other of Damian’s tutors (the ones that didn’t get killed anyway), Jason would be familiar enough with Damian and his little ways and habits that he would know that the kid would 100% benefit more from home schooling that whatever bullshit public school Bruce put him in. Damian’s very self motivated so he knows there won’t be an issue in slacking off if he allows Damian to ditch school and sort of rule his own schooling from Jason’s apartment. he’ll do his own advanced mathematics, history, science, whatever the fuck he feels the need to brush up on during that day. English and most physical training Jason does take control of, but that was what they did in the league anyway so that’s normal to them; they’re just settling back into what for them is a normal routine.

the only thing Damian doesn’t like about ditching Gotham Prep and going to Jason’s for school is that Jason forces him to join social groups at least twice a week, whether it be a reading group at the library, a painting club, volunteering at a hospital or animal shelter, just so that he can still learn to interact with civilians. still, he likes that the activities are always tailored to what Jason knows he enjoys and it is preferable to being in a school for five days a week, so he lets it slide. he even gets a bit more vigilante training bcs occasionally he gets to tag along with Red Hood during the rare day mission, so long as his identity is hidden. Jason always drops him back off at the school fifteen minutes before 3 so that Damian can sneak in and walk out the front doors when the bells go, just a normal school student like everyone else.

he keeps stealing letters addressed to bruce and intercepting phone messages regarding his absence, and eventually he fakes emails from Bruce that withdraw Damian from the school as a whole. Jason’s honestly really impressed that nobody’s noticed but the longer it goes the funnier it gets so he keeps helping out. it gets to the point where it’s been like a year and he’s convinced Damian to actually test out of high school early and start attending college courses part time, so he’s literally spending his days going to Gotham Prep five minutes after classes start, picking up his little brother, secretly driving him to the college that he’s attending under the radar, and then driving him BACK to Gotham Prep before school ends so that nobody knows where he’s been.

even funnier is that Damian ends up convincing Jason to start doing a lit course two days a week at the same college. so at this point Damian is not only lying his ass off about his own education, but he’s doing it by going to college with his brother who everybody else in the family still thinks is fucking dead.

eventually Dick reminds Bruce that Damian’s class should be doing an award ceremony for moving up a year, and they all decide to go to surprise Damian with their support. they go in and Damian isn’t a part of the group of kids graduating and they’re just like ‘wait what’

one of the kids sees them and is like ‘hey aren’t you the Waynes?’ and when they’re like yeah the kid goes ‘haha cool, you know my older sister goes to college with Damian and his step-brother, it’s nice that they still get to see each other often after Damian had to move from their mom to you guys.’ and the entire family bluescreens for about four different reasons.

they eventually show up at the college and see Damian and Jason on the grass outside getting into a rapidly spiralling argument about whether or not two of the professors there are secretly having an affair and the whole thing unravels.

Hehhe

if i had a nickel

happy pride

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

Alternative Klance- Part 2

Part one

As the three teens made their way to the castle, they got strange looks from many of the citizens. They swerved through the crowd, but ended up in an unfamiliar area. It was worn down, the walls tainted with orange dust and graffiti- or some sort of alien art. Blue bricks looked gray, and the wallpaper was peeling. It had an eerie feeling to it, as if something could pop out and attack you. An unpleasant musty smell filled their sinuses, and Lance scrunched up his nose. “It smells horrible! How could they live in this area?” He complained as a bug buzz by him, resembling something like a moth.

The boy jumped and then started chasing it, determined to kill it. Keith groaned a little, and then scolded his friend. “Lance! Stop that, we can’t goof around.” “Ugh, you’re such a mood killer.” The other whined, then a low growl emmited from some figure- too animal like to be a human. Lane grabbed them both, and dragged them behind a dumpster. A chill crawled up Keith’s spine as he shuddered from the reeking smell. Lance coughed, about to complain- but heavy footsteps could be heard.

A well built figure walked along the alleyway, their thick fur covering it’s bulky body. Both of the Cuban boys quietly gasped, recognizing that it was a Yupper. The species that Beta Traz Warden owned as a pet. Though, it wasn’t purple like the previous one they saw was. It’s coat was a dark brown, and the fluffy parts of his fur were a tanned yellow as his eyes seemed to be dark as night, though there was a small green tint glowing within them.

“What? What is it?” Keith questioned quietly, but neither of the Lances responded. Lance slowly started to stand up, gripping onto his red bayard tightly. He steadily aimed it at the monster, then pulled the trigger. It hardly missed the creature, skimming the fur on his coat. The yupper roared and turned to the three, racing at them. Keith immediately pulled out his Mamora blade, charging at it.

Before he could slash at it, something shot the monster in the eye with a bang. He cried out in pain, stepping back as he covered his wound. The pale boy took this chance to attack, quickly knocking it down. He regained his breath then turned around, facing the two. Lance had a shocked face while Lane smirked triumphantly. “Pew, pew, pew~” He gently chuckled. “How did you do that?!” Lance questioned, and Keith rolled his eyes. “Come on, we have to get to the castle.”

When Coran was informed on the situation, he immediately called everyone back to the ship. While he was searching for information about the problem, the two Lances talked to eachother about the team.

Apparently, Lane was the new paladin for the Black lion- Shiro piloting the Red and Allura with Blue. The original cuban boy smiled, getting giddy about himself in another reality. He then grew serious, “Can you uhm… Help me train? Your aim is amazing and I want to uh, help out the team more… I’m not really the best warrior, this is war so I want to train hard.” The male said, and then Lane had an understanding look. “Yeah… I get that- but Lance,” He put his hand on the other’s shoulder. “We- you have amazing talent. You need to recognize that, it took me a long time to notice it.”

Before they could continue on with their heart-felt conversation, the rest of the team bolted inside, and they were all mostly in shock at the sight. “Uhh, am I the only one seeing doubles?” Hunk questioned, getting a nod from everyone as a response. Shiro spoke up, “Who uh, who’s our Lance?” Lane pointed to the other, and then the other stood up happily. “You should all recognize me, my dear paladins.” He teased, then introduced the scarred cuban. “This is me, well from another reality. We call him Lane!” Hunk smiled brightly and became giddy. “Oh yeah, two of my buds!”

After everyone was updated on the situation, they had to find Lane somewhere to sleep. He suggested that he could sleep next to Keith, but he shut him down immediately, just like he expected. It was decided that he would sleep in Lance’s bed as he slept on the floor. Of course the other whined, but he accepted it for now. It was almost midnight, and both of the cubans rustled around. “…Hey Lane, you awake?” Lance questioned, and the other hummed in response. “Can you uh, help me train?” The other raised an eyebrow as he sat up quickly. “Lance, you need your rest-” “Yeah yeah, I know! But I just can’t sleep right now. So can you help me?” He begged.

The other thought for a moment, then sighed. “Fine, but only for an hour- no more.” Lane said as he got up, “But I’m not changing out of these pajamas, I really like them!” The other chuckled with a nod, then grabbed his paladin suit. The two arrived in the battling arena, both of them equipped with their bayards.

Lane started on level 32, one that Lance was far away from. He watched as the other sniped a few of the enemies, kicking the one behind him with great force. When it was on the ground, he shot it in the head. He was suddenly tackled to the ground, but he turned the tables and pinned it down, shooting it with his bayard. Suddenly his weapon changed forms, turning into two black desert eagle pistols. He turned around and shot the remaining robots, smirking a little in pride.

Lance’s jaw was dropped on the ground, his pupils wide as a penny. He cheered the other as they walked towards him. “Your bayard changed mid battle! That’s amazing- how the cheese did you do it?!” He asked with a huge smile. “Secrets- but soon I’ll try and teach you them.” Lane teased cockily.

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE SUPPORT SO FAR AHHHHHHH

video series

no webcomic will ever be as funny as this strip from oglaf

old cas gif i made months ago