idontknwyet

Latest Posts by idontknwyet

Ik black history month is over BUT I can just imagine black reader and Duke having a small truce just to fuck with the bat family

Just imagine quoting Dr. Umar every fifteen minutes.

Bruce: Let me see both of your grades.

WB!reader and Duke: Why do you need white man paperwork!!!

WB!reader and Duke speaking in sync to the batfamily: I have plans that I cannot share with you right now cuz the haters wll sabotage me!

*the rest of the bats having no clue what there talking about*

WB!reader to Bruce after threatening to take his credit card back: Let finish this conversation another time I have your competition on the phone

*Reader is holding there phone up while Ollie is on speed dial there's a green heart next to his name*

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

alfred gave them the sheets

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

What's Bruce's biggest parenting regret (wrong answer only)

[at a gala]

Tim: *brings Damian to Bruce's table*

Tim: He keeps interrupting my conversation with a potential merger, so he's your problem now.

Damian: Father, I was just trying to find someone to talk to.

Bruce: I understand it's hard being the only kid here.

Damian: It's boring as hell. I want to go home.

Bruce: We have an hour left. You think you can tough it out?

Damian: There's nothing to do.

Bruce: I just have one more speech to give and then—

Damian: I want to leave now!

Bruce: Dick, can you take him home?

Dick: I wish I could, but Clark's in the bathroom and I promised him I'd give him an interview about the Bludhaven PD.

Bruce: Jason?

Jason: I walked through Crime Alley to get here.

Bruce: Well, Tim's busy with the merger, Selina's out of town, Barbara left an hour ago with Kate, and Steph, Cass, and Duke all came with me. I'm sorry, Damian. It looks like you just have to wait.

Damian: If we do not leave this instant I will cause a scene so big it will make headlines for a month.

Bruce: No you won't.

Damian: Try me.

Damian: *starts screaming*

Bruce: Stop! There is one thing I can do.

Steph, gasping: No. You don't mean...

Bruce: I have no other choice.

Duke: Come on, B. Let's talk this over.

Bruce: *reaches into his bag*

Cass: Don't. Please.

Tim: You don't have to resort to this. There's always another way.

Jason: I'm telling you, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

Bruce: I'm sorry, guys.

Bruce: *puts an iPad in front of Damian*

Dick: *falls to his knees wailing*

If you get it, you get it.

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

duke: how tf do you know when one of us is doing something vaguely stupid?

dick: it’s my dick tingle

duke: don’t ever say that to me again

dick: :(

i'm gonna continue with the requests i swear. i'm just a bit slow lately so take these doodles from a while ago for now

rdr2 characters + iconic tweets: part four

part one / part two / part three

Certified cool uncle Arthur moment!!!

(Blank first slide bonus bc I think it’s a silly reaction image)

RDR2 Characters as posts I've seen (again)

RDR2 Text posts that are 100% true

You could say I’m a bit obsessed with these dumb cowboys <3

I love when people say "my Arthur/john" when talking about rdr, it makes me imagine we're all pet owners but all our pets are Arthur Morgan.

rdr2 has once again taken over my life

brainrot 🤤🤤

who ready for new sambucky content???

i am not immune to them

blue lions is full of idiots

Lmao I found that tweet Dante Basco sent out that was like “Maiko or Zutara?” And like 60% of the comments were Zukka and y’all I am DEAD

And, my personal favorite,

o k

Heavily inspired by this

ATLA X Animal Crossing!

Avatar: The Last Airbender & Legend of Korra: literally exists*

Me:

Yes, that’s right, I’ve started an ATLA Kindergarden AU.

And there’s nothing we can do about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Click the images for high quality low quality pics :))]