Official Bulletin

YES!*

*no.

Kyana: me and my boys are gonna mess you up

Dani: I rolled a one

Vhas: I rolled a one

VRLA who rolled a seven: Fuck

Let's thank our villainous voice actors!

Everyone say "Thank you!" to Georgina Leahy, the voice actor who brought to life Stella, this horrible lady-demon-bird-thing whom it feels so good to hate!

Anyone can chew scenery, but to really make a character feel odious in a way that makes it feel cathartic to hate them… that takes talent and hard work.

And the way Leahy voices Stella just a little lower and hoarser than her natural voice… that isn't something you can do all day without risking permanent consequences.

~@~

Let's also remember to thank Jason LaShea, the voice actor who brought to life Andreaplhus, the most punchable conniving bastard in web animation!

Sneering isn't a talent, but building a lawful evil antagonist with just the right balance of arrogance and sliminess, while matching the physical appearance and mannerisms of an animated character, is very much a talent, and also requires a lot of hard work!

So, as we wait for Season 3 and dream of wringing these characters' scrawny little bird necks, let's remember to show some love for the humans behind our villains, yeah?

Interesting how many of these stories follow the pattern of "monster terrorizes town, townsfolk reach accommodation with monster, epic pagan hero or mythical Christendom saint slays or banishes monster." It's fun to headcanon that this is the story as told by the victor, and actually these monsters were symbiotic, providing a defense against transient monsters (Les kaiju, ils se battent).

Maybe even the non-human foods they were fed was a refinement of the original accommodation, and the monsters weren't even eating people at all, by the time Ser Pointyhelmet comes along.

Could be a fun thing to work into a modern narrative: hero comes to town, hero hears about monster, town begs hero not to slay monster, hero slays monster, hero moves on, town gets destroyed by wandering monsters. Or maybe the town forces the hero to stay around and defend them against the transient monster population...

Dragons & Folklore de France

Translation below

The Tarasque dwells in the waters of the Rhone river near the town of Tarascon, where it devours travelers and destroys dikes and dams to flood the Camargue. Saint Martha chained it, and the people of Tarascon killed it.

The ruins of the amphitheaters of Metz were infested by hundreds of snakes. The largest of them, the Graoully, had a venomous breath, a mouth bigger than its body and devoured men. Saint Clement chased it away into the Seille River.

King of serpents, the Basilisk takes many forms throughout history and appears in many tales. One of them takes place at the Gate of Saint-Eloi in Bordeaux, known today for its Big Bell, where a well was occupied by a Basilisk. It petrified with its gaze anyone who went there to fetch water. It was defeated by a man returning from the Egyptian crusade, who petrified the beast with its own gaze using a mirail (mirror).

The Cocatrix is born from a rooster's egg incubated by a toad. The egg has magical properties but must not be broken. People who cross its gaze die immediatly.

Made of wicker and covered in flowers, the Grand Bailla wanders the streets of Reims three days a year and feeds on gold and sweets. It was banished by Archbishop Charles Maurice le Tellier.

The Grand'Goule haunts the marshes of Poitou, the waters of the Clain and the flooded cellars of the abbey of Sainte Croix. It feeds on nuns and casse-museaux (snout-breakers, cakes). Saint Radegonde chased it away with holy water.

In the rivers of the Jura and the Alps there is a group of diverse dragons, the Vouivres. They are generally flying serpents covered in fire and guardians of treasures. Many have for a single eye a gigantic carbuncle with extraordinary powers, desired by those in search of wealth and power.

Hidden in the caves of la Pointe du Roux near La Rochelle, the Rô Beast traps and devours travelers in the coastal marshes. It was impaled by seven heroic pagans from the seas.

Mythical dragon of the Basque Country, Herensuge gave birth to the Sun and the Moon, swallowed all of Creation in ten days then regurgitated it in flames. Now asleep in the mountains, it sucks up flocks and shepherds in his sleep. When it wakes up, it will destroy the world in flames and blood. (illustration)

Durandal is the mythical sword that Charlemagne gave to the knight Roland. Some claim that it was inherited from Hector, the warrior of the Trojan War. At war with the Saracens in the Pyrenées, Roland wanted to break the sword so that it would not fall into the hands of the enemy but Durandal split the mountain. So he threw the sword, which went to stick miles away, in the rock of the town of Rocamadour.

The belief in the Tooth Fairy is widespread in several countries in Europe, and is sometimes amalgamated with La Petite Souris (little mouse). It exchanges baby teeth for money. No one knows what it does with all these teeth.

The Camecruse is a bogeyman that haunts the moors and marshes of Gascony. It is agile, can jump and hide in the night to better devour lost children. No one knows exactly how it feeds.

The caves under the hill of the town of Hastingues are home to Lou Carcolh, a monstrous snail, long, slimy and hairy. Its shell is as big as a house. With the help of its tentacles, it grips people to devour them.

The Questing Beast is hunted by kings and heroes in Arthurian legends. It symbolizes evil, incest, violence and chaos, and takes it name from the loud noises that come out of its stomach, similar to the barking of dozens of dogs.

The fairy Mélusine, cursed princess of Albania, was condemned to change into a snake below the waist every Saturday. She married Raymondin de Lusignan with whom they had 10 prodigious children. But Raymondin broke his promise never to see Mélusine on Saturday : he surprised her in her monstrous form, and she left her family forever.

Yesterday I deleted most of the reblogs in my queue. I need to either commit to this being a shitpost blog or GTFO. If I can't leave a compliment or comment on something, it's just not getting one. Anyone who cares can browse my likes.

It would be an interesting challenge to write a narrative of some kind where the adults are selfish assholes to the kids in the show, but nothing the adults do is illegal, nor is it socially or culturally inappropriate or bad. It's horrible, but all plausibly deniable.

The poor kids just have to bear it, maybe the focus is their coping mechanisms or something, like Bridge to Terabithia or something.

Image by Bharat S Raj, CC BY-SA 3.0

snack time!

Begging the void I'm shouting into, to post pictures of lizards and reptiles edited to have external ears.

Worst kind of ears only, please

Happy shmoo hunting, Tumblr!

My local library has thrown away its reference section. "That stuff is all online, now."

They have thrown away most of their archive. What remains is buried in the basement under junk, and all record of its contents is lost. They have no interest in doing anything with it.

For job hunting tips, we direct you to the three biggest job hunting websites.

Homework help and tutoring comes from a local NGO, when they can afford it, although they do use our building.

We do finally have crafts, though! We turned the quiet room and the young adult reading area into a luxurious crafting station.

Legal aid isn't available. We can refer you to a local lawyer, or that local NGO. But you can look up documents online, and print them for free!

I tried to provide compassionate human connection when I worked there, but that's one of the reasons I was let go. Apparently that's something patrons are supposed to provide each other.

And we still have books! We have more and more books about fewer and fewer things, and soon we will have more fiction than ever, we just have to get rid of all the useless nonfiction that's not about hobbies, home renovation, cooking, or poetry. Nobody ever reads those books, they're just taking up space we could use for James Patterson novels!

Truly, there's no better time to visit your local library.