This Made Me Laugh With Absolutely Squat Context.

*sheldon voice

Queen Elizabeth sleeps while I play bongos!!

every single channel is airing news of the queen's death except E4 which refuses to interrupt reruns of the big bang theory

Ye Olde Contraception

Me: …

Ye Olde Doc: …

Me: sir keep your herbs away from my hoo-ha

Doesn't this just feel exactly like something Charles would do.

"OH MY GOD JAKE there were these girls and they were SO COOL!" "Did I tell you about the time we used our mouths to-" "Charles we know." "One of them slapped me and I think I died and went to heaven."

Things I've always wondered about in Keeper of the Lost Cities: Part 2

ID Dates. Remember when there was that random conversation in the middle of Neverseen and Forkle was like 'Oh, you're not actually 13 you're 14 because in elf we start counting life at conception. Birthdays? tf are those, we have ID dates which have no actual purpose.' And at first I thought this was just a poorly executed move to narrow the age difference and speed up Sophie's dating life, but re-reading it, the implication is that elves are pro-life, because the argument for that is that life begins at conception. I'm not sure if it was inadvertent or not, but does this mean elves are anti abortion? And does this mean Shannon Messenger is pro-life too? IDK, not sure how I feel about this one.

How can they not notice Oralie is Sophie's biological mum if they have both of their DNA?

Everything about abilities manifesting. Average age is 12-15 right? Imagine if when you manifested your voice cracked. That would 100% make the book better.

Tam and Linh's hair dye. Namely where do I get this stuff. But also...it's molten silver. Surely it would just burn off their hair. Imagine them attempting to make their super powerful statement and ending up with a pile of burnt hair mixed with goopy silver and Linh trying not to laugh while Tam stews.

“Oh Mr Sheffield!” - Fran Fine

"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing." - Oscar Wilde

But I read this fantastic article that pretty much said the opposite, so I'm torn between a 19th century gay romantic or a Scottish philosopher.

Aeon

In these dark times, the virtue we need is hopeful pessimism | Aeon Essays

We must keep the flame of pessimism burning: it is a virtue for our deeply troubled times, when crude optimism is a vice

Me: *picking up an old book because I feel obliged to read the classics*

Old book: Have some R A C I S M

Me: hold on-

Old book: How bout some ye olde S E X I S M

Me: what no-

Old book: Sprinkle in some hOmOpHoBiA

*Puts down old book*

M*A*S*H

My parents told me to go and watch this, so I was initially very very skeptical, because they told me Crocodile Dundee was gonna be good and that is a whole separate disaster.

But it's...so good.

Most of the jokes have aged so well and it is eerily clever how quickly it can transition from laugh out loud funny to bawling my eyes out sad.

I love all the characters so much (Except Frank. Hello Frank) And it was made in the 70s. But there are still elements of it that are progressive today, and the themes and ideas about war are pretty timeless.

None of my friends are watching it, and the MASH community on Tumblr is frighteningly small. I'm really hoping someone wants to yell about it with me.

My parents r now so invested in the quest to get Taylor Swift eras tickets that if we don’t end up succeeding my house will be looking very Shakespearean. Tragic stylez

Agatha Christie Appreciation Post

Can we all take a minute to remember back to 1926 when Agatha Christie went to a spa for a couple of days and the whole of England proceeded to fall into a state of chaos as it thought she'd gone missing.

She was the top story in all the newspapers.

The entire police force was looking for her.

And the real kicker is that her brother had told the police that she was at a spa and they'd just said 'nah can't be' and not bothered to check.