Peter Parker Meets Batfam Fics Are Funny To Me Because I Think It’s Bold Of Y’all To Assume The Batfam

Shipping Sam and Joaquin 70% bc I think it would be funny for Sam and Bucky to both have feral, adhd, human golden retriever, heart of gold and so so stupid and self sacrificing boyfriends. I need those boys TESTING their patience. I need Sam and Bucky trying to fight off migraines with those two idiots vibrating with pure 20-something energy in the backseat of Sam’s hummer. I need them asking eachother why they thought dating younger superheroes was a good idea, not at their age with their backs. But oh, they’re just so great. They love their respective guys so damn much. Sam who flamed Bucky for Peter for months before him and Joaquin happened and now Bucky gets to be smug about how he told him so. I need them to spend so much time as a unit of 4 that it’s painfully obvious to both of them that they found the same guy in two different fonts. I need the Wilson’s being equally obsessed with how adorable Peter and Joaquin are. I need Sarah equally in Sam and Bucky’s business about marrying that nice boy, you know you can’t do better. I need Peter and Joaquin scheming, I need Bucky to experience pure terror when he asks Peter who he’s texting that he’s laughing so much and Peter replies “just Joaquin” and Bucky knows those two idiots are up to no good. I need Joaquin’s dumb, brilliant ass deciding he should go on patrol with Peter sometimes and Bucky and Sam being so, so unsurprised when they’re both falling apart come sunrise, and I need Bucky have to comfort Peter when the guilt sinks in as he hears Sam yelling at Joaquin in their guest bedroom bedroom that he’s not enhanced so he can’t do stupid shit like that, I don’t care if you have gear we’re not like them. You can’t do things like this because if something happened to you I’d- I can’t have anything happen to you, okay? I need you. Bucky kissing Peter’s forehead and rubbing his back as Peter whispers ‘I- I didn’t mean for him to get hurt I didn’t think he’d get hurt I forgot I didn’t mean to-“ “I know baby, I know. They know too.” And Sam has to come out eventually, quietly asking ‘Is it okay if he rests up a little bit?’ And Peter nodding aggressively. “Do you guys need anything else from the first aid kit? Can I run out for something? Can I do anything?” “Nah, we’re cool. He’s just busted up and I’m- I’m not mad he just scares the shit out of me.” “I didn’t mean for anything to happen to him” “I know Pete, I know”. And the silence gets awkward and Peter hates it and Bucky nudges Sam. “Go back in there. Cuddle with your guy he’s hurtin.” And Sam nods because all he needed was the push.

it's funny to me that the entry level requirement for being a good captain america is that you have to be in love with Bucky Barnes and that's why john walker was a shit one

i like the term "sworn enemies" it's like marriage vows but evil

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

Nobody:

Literally nobody:

Tony, poking Bruce: Let the Hulk out already, I wanna do experiments and you’re being boring.

canon means nothing when I can shelter my blorbo and keep him alive through the power of archive of our own

Only two ADHD tasks

1) this task will take me five minutes but I couldn’t possibly do it because I have an appointment in six hour a

2) this task will take five hours but I’ll just do it first thing in the morning before I leave

🌹Purple rose🌹- symbolizes charm, enchantment and “love at first sight”

When Tony went to recruit the hero known as Spiderr-man he didn't expect his world exploding into colour the moment his eyes met with the young Mr Parker. Meaning he wasn't just the vigilante known as Spider-man but also his soulmate. And their bond was much to delicate and new to risk damaging in the upcoming fight with Rogers.

"Do you yield?"

FUCKING BYE HAGDHHFDHFDJDBJBERUGJNF

I want to grab them by their scruffs and shake them around (affectionately). These two have gotten me to draw a background not once but TWICE!! I am legitimately so proud of how this turned out, I feel so fucking cool at the moment (excuseme for not being able to properly explain it's 2 AM 😭😭😭)

Inspired by Existential Crisis mode (chapter 31) written by @luciaintheskyainthi

subscribing to a fic isn’t enough I need the author to blast a bat signal into the night sky whenever they update