Ii. Start Afresh

xlii. rain, romance and revelations

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CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO ─ rain, romance and revelations.

❛ but i can't help myself, when you get close to me ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Sunjae and I sat side by side on his living room couch, dripping with rainwater that soaked into the sofa fabric. The couch was large enough to seat at least four people, and yet we sat close together, soaking up each others' warmth, afraid to let go. One of Sunjae's jackets was now draped over my shoulders. My brain could hardy comprehend anything that was happening. He had found me in the rain and kissed me. I couldn't believe it. It was like a scene straight out of a rom-com movie. My heart pounded against my chest, and the rain and chilly breeze couldn't put out the fire inside me.

Sunjae reached for a towel, his movements unhurried and gentle, as if he were handling something precious. He stepped closer, the warmth of his presence cutting through the chill that clung to my skin. Without a word, he began drying my hair, his touch soft and deliberate. The fabric brushed against my scalp, and I could feel the care behind every motion.

My body froze for a moment, caught off guard by the intimacy of it all. My heart stumbled over its rhythm as I became fixated on him—on the way his eyes held a quiet tenderness, the kind that made it impossible to look away. His damp hair clung to his forehead, and I could see the faint shiver in his frame, but he didn't seem to care. His only focus was on me.

The butterflies in my stomach took flight, their wings fluttering wildly at the realization of how selfless he was. He didn't even think twice about his own discomfort, his own cold. His hands moved with a kind of attentiveness that made my chest tighten, like I'd stumbled into a dream I never wanted to wake up from.

Then he paused. His hands stilled, the towel resting lightly against my head. Slowly, he looked at me, his gaze shifting, as if he'd just realized how close we were—how my eyes hadn't left him for even a second. His expression softened, yet there was a flicker of uncertainty, of awareness that hadn't been there a moment ago.

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, spreading like wildfire. My breath hitched, and I wondered if he could feel the way my pulse quickened, even though I wasn't sure I could speak. The air between us felt charged, delicate, as if a single word might break whatever spell we'd found ourselves under.

"What's the matter?" he asked softly. His voice rung like the melody of a love song.

"You're so sweet," I breathed out after a few seconds.

His face melted into a smile, showing his adorable dimple and his eyes becoming like crescent moons. My own lips stretched into a smile. All I wanted was to see him happy; No matter who he was with. But now here he was, wrapping his arms around my waist, smiling sweetly at me.

"I cant believe you avoided me for so many days."

"I do feel a bit silly now, thinking back," I giggled out, "But you really gave me a scare. I thought you were going away for good."

"I would have," he confessed, "If it weren't for someone making it impossible for me to go anywhere."

"I didn't realize you were so cheesy."

"So what, you don't like me anymore?" he asked, bringing his face closer to mine.

"I still like you," I answered with a laugh, giving him a short kiss. I watched his face and ears turn red in an instant and I couldn't help but chuckle. He's so cute...

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening startled the both of us. Before we had any time to process what was happening, Sunjae's dad appeared with a blue cloth bag and an umbrella in his hand. He stood before us, paralyzed in a state of shock. I moved a bit further from Sunjae, trying to increase the distance between us.

"Oh! Eunyoung!" he exclaimed finally, "I see... you both got drenched in the rain! Oh, dear, you must be very cold..." He rattled on.

"I'll get going then!" I got up suddenly, waving an awkward goodbye to both of them.

"Sunjae, I'll- uh, return your jacket! Later..."

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I watched as Eunyoung practically bolted out of my house after muttering out an excuse for my dad. Dammit, now I have to explain myself to my dad. Looking at my father's smug smile, I realized he must have put two and two together already.

"I wasn't born yesterday, son," he said, still smiling.

"I know," I gulped.

"I can't say I'm surprised."

"Oh, you're not?"

"Not a bit," he said rather confidently, "You finally got your act together!"

"So," I began, "You're okay with this? With Eunyoung and I-"

"Okay?! Oh, I'm more than okay!" he let out a hearty laugh, "You have my blessing!"

I felt my heart relax and I let out a sigh of relief. I had my father's permission. He was a stubborn man, and it was a huge deal. I just hope Eunyoung's mother is as supportive.

Narrator's Perspective

Eunyoung, her mother and Yumi sat in the living room for dinner while the rain pitter-pattered against the windows. Everyone was eating in silence- as they often did, but tonight, Eunyoung kept smiling to herself every few seconds while still looking down at her plate. Her mom glanced at Yumi, hoping that she would know why Eunyoung was so happy. 

"We gotta get used to this," she said loudly.

Eunyoung looked up at Yumi in confusion, "What?"

"Why is that?" Their mother asked tentatively. 

"You wanna tell her or should I?" Yumi asked Eunyoung.

"Tell her about what?"

"About your boyfriend."

Her mother's eyebrows shot up, "Boyfriend?"

"Oh," Eunyoung realized, "Right. I was going to tell you after things were official... but I guess since Yumi's already spilled the beans... I'll just tell you. I'm dating this guy..."

"Who?"

"Oh, you know," Eunyoung avoided her gaze, looking at the walls behind where her mother was seated, a red tinge appearing on her face, "It's umm... Sunjae. Ryu Sunjae- you know he lives-"

"Oh," her mother exclaimed, pleasantly surprised, "The guy next door? He seemed nice..."

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nana's notes: cute chapter after all the hell i put them thru :P last chapter before my hiatus :( see u in april!

delphi's notes: somebody check my blood sugar this is too sweet-

next chapter: april 1st list of chapters here!

viii. heartbeat

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CHAPTER EIGHT ─ heartbeat.

❛ no proof, one touch, but you felt enough. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Huh?"

"Get on the bike," Taesung repeated. Yumi stood completely still for a few moments before asking him again, "Are you sure? Is it safe?"

"Sure, it is," he answered, chuckling at her inquiry, "The offer expires in ten seconds, think fast." He then began counting down from ten to one. Thinking that this was her only option to get home at a reasonable time, she quickly hopped onto his bike, his countdown sounding like a ticking bomb ready to explode any moment.

"Welcome aboard," he announced in a mocking formal tone, "Hold on tight."

Yumi awkwardly pinched one side of his jacket. "It's okay, don't be shy," he assured on seeing her hesitation, "You've never been on a motorcycle, have you?" Yumi slowly shook her head.

He gripped her wrist tightly and without any prior warning. Yumi's eyebrows flicked up in surprise at the sudden urgency. Without waiting for a response, he gently but firmly pulled her closer, guiding her arms to wrap securely around his torso. The movement was swift, ensuring her safety before she even realized the need for it.

"Stay like this until I stop, okay?" Taesung instructed. Yumi's throat had gone completely dry, the ability to speak evaporating into the afternoon heat. He turned his head on hearing no answer. She simply nodded at him.

"Okay, I'll take that as a yes," just after he said this, the engine made a loud, unpleasant growling sound as he twisted the throttle, "I'm just praying you don't have motion sickness."

💿

A soft tapping sound on the pavement sounded in the narrow lane through which Sunjae and Eunyoung journeyed from the bus stop to their homes. At first, awkwardness prevailed as Sunjae's eyes rapidly darted from here to there, wondering what he should say next. On the other hand, Eunyoung's gaze was fixated on the path, her blank face masking the countless thoughts racing through her head.

Like a rude awakening, the sound of a motorcycle engine pierced through the air, shattering the silence and peacefulness of their walk. Without a moment's hesitation, Sunjae's hand clamped onto Eunyoung's wrist, pulling her to the side gently yet firmly as the bike zoomed past them, the smell of gasoline lingering in the air. Her breath hitched, and the pace of the motorcycle as well as Sunjae's prompt reaction sent her heart racing. With her back against Sunjae's torso, she let out a sigh of relief, "Thanks for"

Her voice failed her as she looked up at Sunjae's face, their eyes meeting for a split second before they realised how close they were. The two pulled away with flushed cheeks, "Thanks for that," said Eunyoung with a hint of awkwardness in her voice.

"Don't mention it," Sunjae spoke with a smile.

"That's so dangerous," Eunyoung commented attempting to divert the conversation, "I think they were wearing our school uniform."

"Yeah, I noticed that," Sunjae nodded in agreement, "I think I've seen that guy before."

"You have?" asked Eunyoung as they resumed walking.

"I'm not sure where..."

💿

"Thanks for dropping me off," Yumi said to Taesung as she got off the bike.

"No worries," he replied, smiling after removing his helmet. An awkward silence followed it since neither of them could think of anything to say.

"I guess... I'll see you around?" Yumi attempted to break the silence.

"Yeah, sure. I should get going, then."

"You can go ahead, then," she replied politely, "Just one thing before you go─ don't talk to anyone on your way back."

"Okay," he said in confusion. 

"Hey! It's you!" a voice accused. As the two turned to look at the person, Eunyoung stood before them, "You too were the ones on the bike?!"

Yumi avoided her gaze, looking at the ground, while Taesung stood staring at Eunyoung, oblivious to the cause of her agitation. 

"Yeah, why?" he asked. It was as if a cloud of misfortune had started following Yumi everywhere. She sighed in an attempt to rationalize with Eunyoung, "Look, he was just dropping me off. The bus strike is today, remember?" Eunyoung's expression momentarily softened, "That's right," she realized.

Turning to Taesung, regaining her composure, she said, "Thanks for dropping her off; But don't ever drive like that again, I'm warning you─ especially when Yumi's with you.

"Got it," Taesung gulped, "Sorry about that." With a bow, he hurriedly departed with his motorcycle, wanting to run away as soon as he could.

Once the sound of the obnoxious engine revving sounded in the air, Eunyoung turned to Yumi, who was trying to sneak into their home without her sister noticing, "Where are you scurrying off to? Where did you meet this delinquent anyway?! Don't you dare hide from me!"

"He's in Inhyuk's band, actually," Yumi informed her.

"Really?" the harshness in her voice subsided, "No wonder he was kicked out. He doesn't seem like too great of a guy."

"You don't even know him," Yumi defended him, not understanding why she did so.

"And you do?" Eunyoung retorted.

"This is stupid, let's not fight," Yumi diverted the topic, "Let's be friends again."

"Fine," Eunyoung said, trying to stifle her smile.

Entering their house, Eunyoung noticed the blue umbrella sitting by the door. Her gaze lingered on it and she called out to Yumi, "Listen! I'm going to return Sunjae's umbrella. I'll be back soon!"

"Okay~" Yumi yelled back from her room.

Skipping down the flight of stairs, two at a time, she made her way to Sunjae's house. Not long after her short journey, she was faced with a blue gate. Her fingers reached out to ring the doorbell. Clutching the umbrella, patiently waiting for someone to open the door. Sunjae's father emerged from the front door, advancing to the outer gate. Smiling on seeing Eunyoung, the iron gate swung open as he unlatched it, "Oh, it's you! Tell me, what brings you here?"

"I just wanted to return the umbrella I borrowed the other day. Sorry for not bringing it back sooner; It completely slipped my mind."

"Oh, don't worry about it," he waved his hand in front of his face, as if to fan away Eunyoung's apology, "He's gone to the swimming pool just now; I'll return it to him once he reaches home. Thank you for bringing it back, dear."

"Oh, that's alright. It wasn't a big deal," she smiled appreciatively. Turning back to go home, she was attacked by a sudden heavy downpour, which caught her off guard. 

"He'll need the umbrella while coming back," Sunjae's dad thought out loud, mostly to himself.

"I'll give it to him," Eunyoung offered generously.

"Are you sure?" he asked to confirm, but he had already handed her the umbrella, "Thanks a lot!" He said, running off into his house.

So, Eunyoung was off toward the school swimming pool.

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nayoung's notes: eunyoung's animosity towards taesung has begun 👀 i just love wonyoung's expression in the header. that's her judging taesung. hope you liked this chapter!

delphi's notes: eunyoung the original knight in shining armour. the long legs make her work easier.

next chapter: friday! (out now) list of chapters here!

xxx. the memory of you

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CHAPTER THIRTY ─ the memory of you.

❛ i miss the old ways, you didn't have to change, but i guess i don't have a say now that we don't talk ❜

Kim Taesung's Perspective

I felt my heart drop the moment the woman who was supposedly waiting for me turned around. I barely recognized her at first; But my memories of her must have been etched into my brain permanently, because a part of me knew. That it was her. Her long and flowing hair was no more, and the only part of it left hung over her shoulders. As I stood there in front of her, staring, I found myself entranced by her face, just like I had all those years ago. I had seen her for the very first time at the music club, and the incident replayed in front of my eyes as if it took place only yesterday. Our eyes met- ever so briefly, and it was as if fireworks had gone off. Her features still held the same harmony- soft, with a air of gentility, yet they had an inexplicable charisma that captivated me.

I could practically feel my heart pounding in my head. My hand had begun trembling. I continued gazing into her eyes, trying way too hard to avoid the scar on the right side of her face. I practically had to tear my eyes away because my heart and soul ached as if they were being pierced by a thousand needles. There was that same emptiness in her eyes that always perplexed me. It made me so curious. What could she have possibly gone through for her eyes to look so lifeless and miserable. I wanted to know so badly. I wanted to know her better, and I failed to do it every time.

Our eyes met again after some stupid formal dialogue, the sound of which was drowned out by the deafening sound of the frantic beating of my heart. I felt like I was back in my teenage body, staring at her from afar and overthinking the gift she gave me- that I bought over and over again for years. The flush on my face must have been so obvious and for a second I almost felt sorry for my colleague who stood and watched us in confusion. My gaze shifted to her scar again, and I had to look away from her entirely because of the pain I felt in my chest. It was as if someone had ripped my heart out of my body and broken it in a million parts like it was made of glass. 

The truth was that I blamed myself to this day. There was nothing that I regretted more than failing to protect her. In hindsight, I wondered how things would have turned out if I just followed basic safety protocol. What was I thinking? Riding a bike with no helmet? That too with someone I cared about. I would give up anything to go back in time and fix it. Would that have fixed everything?

On my way home, the only thought that occupied me was that despite everything that had happened- the time that had passed, and the very obvious scar on Yumi's face, she was still just as pretty as fifteen years ago. That's the thing that made me feel ridiculous; In front of Choi Yumi, I was just a nineteen year old boy with a stupid crush.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

I sat in my room, staring at the floor, lost in thought. It was insane. I had endless questions that could never be silenced. How had I run into Taesung in this timeline? Why and how did he end up become a police officer...

Then, something inside me clicked

A familiar face flashed in front of me- Gahyun, the crazy bitch obsessed with Taesung. Her screaming voice and her shaking hands pointing to me in accusation appeared in front of me.

"You!" she shrieked. Her hollering voice echoed and rippled through the previously quiet, still hospital halls. The other patients shrunk back, closed their curtains to avoid looking at the scene she was causing and others went to call for help.

"What do you want?" I sighed, "And for god's sake lower your volume."

"You're the reason my Taesung is injured!" she continued yelling, "If it weren't for you, he would be perfectly healthy at home! Now- all thanks to you, he's going to have that hideous scar on his shoulder! Ugh, it's all your fault! How could you be so selfish?!"

A fire began burning inside me that started as a spark then exploded in an instant as I cried out with tears of agony forming in my eyes, "Don't you dare pretend like you know shit! He CHOSE to drop me. In case you haven't noticed, this damn thing on my face is going to be permanent. God, just stay out of it! You don't deserve to come here and yell at ME and cause a scene! Get out!"

My breathing became erratic, and it was as if steam was coming out through my ears. I was furious. Not because she was crushing on the same stupid teenage boy as me. Because of how right she was. If it wasn't for me, Taesung would be okay.

"Yumi, is everything alright?" asked a concerned Eunyoung who had just returned home, looking even more miserable than me.

"I remember everything now," I said, feeling dazed and confused, but at the same time things seemed to make more sense, "Did we really yell in the hospital like that?"

"Oh, yeah," she tried to tell me gently, "Everyone heard."

"God."

I ran a hand down my face, sighing for what must have been the millionth time that day, "What's up with you?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Don't even ask," she responded, sighing, "Sunjae's death was suicide."

I suddenly sat up straight, my ears perking up. The word seemed to crash right on my head as my chest began feeling tight. I never spoke about it, but my mother's death haunted me to this day. She couldn't endure the abuse from my father and ended her own life. I was too young to understand it when it happened, but it dawned on me now. The thought that I was not very different, that I would turn out the same made me cower in fear every time I thought about it.

I pulled Eunyoung into an embrace, and I could feel her surprise to my impulsive action. "I'm sorry," I whispered. The room was then filled with the sound of our breathing and the soft banging of the snow against the window.

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nana's notes: wonyoung's face card in the header tho-

delphi's notes: taesung having a whole melancholic monologue is everything.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xlix. drifting away

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CHAPTER FORTY-NINE ─ drifting away.

❛ still want you all the time, still in a corner of my heart ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

A couple weeks after college lectures began, I felt as miserable as ever. It was as if I was living the same day over and over again. From the moment I opened my eyes, there was a throbbing pain in my head that weighed me down. As I went about my routine, I felt like a machine, soulless and mechanical. The feeling of regret had become increasingly oppressive, leaving my brain feeling foggy. I could feel a constant ache in my heart and my brain dwelled on my stupid, drunken actions.

Not only had I gone and confessed to Sunjae like an idiot, but I had also kissed him? I couldn't believe I had been so impulsive. Thinking about how uncomfortable he must have been made me want to bury my head in a hole in the ground. At the same time, I couldn't stop reminiscing on how magical the moment felt back then. His soft lips against mine, and the silent whisper of the crickets chirping on that chilly night; I could vividly remember the warmth of his body, and how it was like every inch of our bodies were meant to hold each other.

I had told myself a million times not to get worked up over a drunken kiss. I reminded myself several times that he hadn't said a word to me since I told him to forget about it. The logical part of me said that I did the right thing by apologizing, because in what universe would Ryu Sunjae like me? Yet, there was another voice in my head that said that he would have pushed me away of he didn't like me. There was something in the way he kissed me that I couldn't quite explain. Or maybe, I knew what it was, but admitting it meant that everything became real, and I don't think I was the least bit ready for it.

The truth was that in the fear of losing him, I had ended up pushing him further away from me. Maybe that was how it was meant to turn out all along. Maybe it was better this way. The further he stayed from me, the safer it was for him. My attention turned to the clock, and my movements became immediately hasty and panicked as I grabbed my bag and rushed out the door.

 Choi Yumi's Perspective

I dragged my feet along the pavement, my head hung and a yawn escaping my mouth. It wasn't even that early, yet I could already feel a strange sort of fatigue weighing me down. Ever since the field trip, I had spent several sleepless nights, contemplating everything that had happened. This third time travel had been the most eventful one by far, I realized. I would stare up that the ceiling in the middle of the night, millions of thoughts racing through my tangled head. 

I wondered what it all meant; Taesung offering to be my boyfriend to help me get rid of Minjun. Even after Minjun had given up on harassing me, Taesung and I were still "dating." Everyone knew about our "relationship" and the both of us agreed that it was best to put up a show for a while longer. But I couldn't help but wonder whether he had any ulterior motive in suggesting that?

Another thing that I couldn't stop thinking about was the way he had kissed me in front of the whole department. His touch, that felt demanding yet gentle at the same time, the sweet aftertaste of the kiss, and the distance between us that had finally disappeared for a few short, fleeting seconds, were all so vivid in front of my eyes. Every time the thought crossed my mind, I could practically feel his soft grip on my wrist, and the warmth in his touch that quieted all my fears. It was just for show, I told myself. But it all felt so real...

A high-pitched meow from somewhere in the  nearby bushes perked my attention as I followed the sound. I bent down when I saw a tiny, black kitten between the branches of a wild scrub that grew on the sidewalk. A smile surfaced on my face as I reached out a cautious hand to stroke it's little head. While I continued to pet it, I let out a chuckle as the kitten kept pushing it's head towards my hand every time I paused.

"Looks like you're having a good time."

I stood up abruptly on hearing Taesung's oh-so-familiar voice sound in my ears. For a good few seconds, I found myself staring at his face blankly. Somehow, I was always in awe of how good he looked, without trying at all. There hadn't been many moments him and I had spent alone since the field trip, and seeing him like this, outside school, with no one around made me feel oddly vulnerable and nervous.

"Where'd you come from?"

"That's not how you greet your boyfriend, now, is it?" he said cocking his head to a side, smirking. I scoffed at him.

"You're not really my boyfriend."

"For now I am," he argued.

"Only in front of others," I countered.

He went quiet for a couple moments, staring blankly at my face. I felt my cheeks heat up as the seconds passed by. I tried to distract myself by looking at the telephone pole behind him.

"How's your scar?" he asked suddenly, meeting my eyes, "Does it hurt anymore?"

I was definitely flustered, and muttered out some incoherent nonsense. He had never brought it up since we were in the hospital.

"What?"

"I said umm..." I said, trying to muster up some courage to answer him, "It doesn't hurt now, it's just there," I went quiet for a second and them asked, concerned, "How's your shoulder? Does it hurt anymore?"

"Nope," he said, putting on a fake brave face. But I could see the hurt behind his eyes, "It healed pretty quickly."

Seeing him trying to hide his pain made my heart ache like never before. Will things ever go back to the way they were?

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nana's notes: eunyoung you blind fool get yourself some glasses-

delphi's notes: taesung in the header TT

previous chapter next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

⁺　ׂ　　⋆　 t-t-touch me, and you'll never be alone ☆

xxviii. the aftermath

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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT ─ the aftermath.

❛ once the flight had flown, with the wilt of the rose ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The surroundings seemed familiar. My mind was clouded with confusion, I couldn't understand what had happened. Moments ago, I remember being on my way home on Taesung's motorcycle, and then we...

"Yumi?" called out Eunyoung's voice which seemed to reflect my puzzled state. That's when I realized where we were. It was our shared apartment in Seoul and we were back to the present. I turned to look at her with furrowed brows, "Check the date quickly!"

She reached for her phone, and the screen displayed 00:02, 1st January, 2023 as the time and date, "What's going on?" she whispered, sounding lost, "This... this means we really time travelled."

"Yeah," I breathed. We had really gone back to the past, to 2008, and now we were back. I stood up to look at the CD player. It displayed 2:00 now instead of 3:00, "What does this mean?" Before I could sit back down, I caught a glimpse of my face in Eunyoung's vanity above her desk. A huge scar on the right side of my face, stretching from my cheek down to my chin. I ran my fingers over it, but there was no odd texture, "W...What's this thing on my face?" I whispered in horror.

I don't quite remember what happened...

❪ flashback ❫

I couldn't make any sense of anything. Where was I? How did I end up there? I had no clue. I could hear loud chattering, someone screaming, the sound of cars passing by in the distance. Then a blaring siren and someone taking me away. What happened after that? I had blacked out completely.

When I opened my eyes all I could see was a white ceiling above me and then the scent of antiseptic hit my nose. Soon, I realized that I was lying down, and my eyes scanned my surroundings. I was wearing a white robe- or was it like a nightgown? I don't have any nightgowns. There were white curtains around the bed I was laying on and that's when the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was in a hospital.

The needle piercing through my hand sent a sharp, shooting pain up my arm as I noticed it was there, making me wince. There was a huge white bump I could see on the right side of my face- bandages.

The rest of my memories were in a blur. I could still hear people's voices in the back of my mind.

My mom's voice, screaming, "KIM TAESUNG YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Eunyoung's panicked voice and sobs, "Yumi, I'm so sorry..."

My own voice, yelling, "Look what you've done to me! This! This thing on my face is thanks to you! I'm going to have to live with this all my life. So, I'm sorry if the scar on your shoulder is an eyesore. Because that's too fucking bad."

❪ end of flashback ❫

"Don't you remember?" asked Eunyoung after a long pause, "Taesung was dropping you home... and... and then you..." her voice sounded choked and she closed her mouth, realizing it was too painful to remember.

"I think I remember," I said, spacing out. My hand reached to touch the scar again.

"You swore you hated him," added Eunyoung, "You guys had a huge fight. Screaming in the hospital and everything."

"It must have been quite the scene," I bit my lip, recalling the embarrassing memory.

"Yeah," she said. We both sat in the painful silence that hung in the air. The snow pattered against the window, as if it were knocking, asking to be let in.

"I'm sorry," I told her gently, "I'm sorry for all the horrible things I said to you."

"I'm sorry too," she said, reaching for my hand, "It wasn't my place."

"No, it was! It absolutely was!" I cried as the strength returned in my voice, "You're my family and you had the right to be worried. And you were right! He was trouble! And and... and he-"

"Shhh, it's fine," she said, noticing how my voice shook as I spoke, squeezing my hand, "It's over now. It's all forgiven."

Her eyes moved to her phone screen, showing the news article that Eclipse's Ryu Sunjae had passed away. Her eyes widened, then became moist, "It's... I couldn't do anything..."

I could do nothing but gaze painfully at her state, "Look at the display on the Cd player. I'm guessing it means we have two more chances. Two more chances to set things right."

Narrator's Perspective

Waking up and going to work the next morning seemed like too big of a task for me. From the moment the harsh sunlight streaming through the window entered my room, to the shower, it was as if the melody of sonaki rang in my head as tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. It was completely unlike me- I had never felt so pathetic and depressed in my 34 years of living, and I was feeling it now- all at once.

"Adulting is so hard," I grumbled under my breath as I left the house, wearing black because I was grieving. It had barely been a day since I had returned, but my heart ached with desperation and longing. I already missed my daily bus rides with Sunjae, our carefree, almost meaningless conversations. His smiling face and eyes that seemed to me dripping with honey occupied my mind the whole car ride.

"Teenage life was so easy," I muttered to myself as I parked my car and made my way up the elevator.

The moment I opened the door, I saw a sea of people- employees, all clad in black from head to toe. For a moment, I felt a sense of pride. I had made this happen; a team of people who actually gave a damn about journalistic integrity and not just nosy busybodies who wanted to pry into the lives of the rich and elite. A smile almost surfaced on my face when I thought about my slightly dramatic rise to power as I overthrew the previous CEO of The Seoul Daily.

"Ms. Choi," someone called out to me. A familiar face appeared before me as we bowed and exchanged greetings, "Kang Seoyoon, the head of the entertainment department released the article regarding Singer Ryu Sunjae's death because she lives near the hospital he was taken to. Would you like us to start research on the cause?"

The words felt like icicles against my skin- they were too official, so cold that it almost sent a shiver down my spine. I cleared my throat, trying to pull myself together; I then said to her, mustering up all the professionalism in my voice, "Yes, please get started. Tell Seoyoon that it was extremely prompt of her to write the article even though it was after work hours. Thanks."

With a brief nod and bow, she ran off. "You're all doing a really great job!" I cried out to all the hardworking people sitting withing earshot, plastering on my best fake smile, "Keep up the good work and report to me after the front page placements are done."

The news that I heard a while later felt as if someone ran a knife through my heart. Sunjae's cause of death- it was suicide.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i guess listening to sad kdrama osts makes me work faster 🤧😭

delphi's notes: sunjae needs to get his death pass revoked frfr :(

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxii. you and me and awkward silence

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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO ─ you and me and awkward silence.

❛ don't you notice how i get quiet when there's no one else around? ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Why are you all standing like that?" Taesung asked his friends who stood on the other side of the safety door of his house.

Taesung's birthday had arrived at last, and his friends' plan of throwing him a surprise party had fallen into place. Yumi stood at the front- against her will, for Inhyuk had pushed her ahead while everyone fumbled. The Eclipse members and Sunjae held balloons in their hands, and Yumi held the box containing the cake and a small paper bag.

All she could do was stare at his face as he repeated his question impatiently. Realising Yumi wasn't responding, Inhyuk jumped in and exclaimed, "Happy birthday! Did you think we'd forget?!"

A slow smile appeared on Taesung's face as he chuckled in disbelief. His hand reached for the doorknob, which he pushed open. The party was not a large one- the members of Eclipse, Sunjae and Yumi, but it was a meaningful one. They entered his house one by one, as Taesung stepped aside to make way. While everyone else dispersed, putting up the balloons, Yumi stood frozen before him, staring blankly, "Happy birthday," she uttered quietly.

Taesung stood motionless for a brief moment, admiring the girl in front of him. Her voice sounded like music in his ears. His eyes remained fixed on her, unable to pull away. She was dressed in a baby blue dress that hovered above her knees. The dress was sleeveless, drawing attention to her graceful arms, and it boasted a sweetheart neckline that framed her collarbone beautifully.

"Thanks," he smiled, "I'm glad you're here, piano girl."

There it was again. That nickname. Yumi thought to herself, clearing her throat. It took all the willpower in her not to misinterpret his words. What did he really mean? Plus it was really hard to focus with him standing right in front of her. She couldn't bring herself to look away from him. He was dressed in a simple monochromatic outfit- black jeans and a plain white t-shirt, and it was evident that he wasn't expecting company. Yet, there she was, staring. She moved past him, placing the cake on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Is that for me?" he snapped her out of her thoughts, gesturing to the bag dangling from her wrist. 

"Huh?" she blurted out, "Oh, right! I got you a little something."

"What is it?" he asked as he peeked into the bag after she handed it to him. 

"Look at it later!" she spoke more urgently than she intended to. Taesung's face twisted into a confused frown, setting the bag aside for time being. His suspicion was evident through his expression, and Yumi realized that she had pretty much shot herself in the foot. A blush surfaced on her face from embarassment as she moved to where everyone else was standing.

Why am I even here? She wondered. She barely knew these people. Yet a part of her wanted to be there for him. How heartbreaking was it that his parents couldn't be there for their only son's birthday? Yumi wondered if what she felt for him was pity or something more? Yumi pushed the thought away, refusing to explore it further. It was too terrifying, too soon. She prayed she'd never have to confront those feelings.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

It was as if  I had zoned out for the entire duration of the party. I think this was my fatal flaw. I spent to much time thinking. I never took action. I just sat and thought. And thought. And thought some more until even I was afraid of my thoughts. Before I knew it, everyone had left, leaving me alone with Taesung. The thought made me want to dig a hole in the ground and bury my head in it. I told myself that since I was the only one there, I should help clean up the mess. Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that every moment spent with him was special.

"You don't have to stay," he remarked, breaking the awkward silence that previously filled the room, "It's getting late."

"Are you kicking me out?" I asked with a hint of hostility in my voice, "I want to help."

"Who am I to argue with you?" asked to no one in particular.

We worked in silence, neither of us knowing how to start another conversation. I realised what a horrifying thing it was to be alone with my thoughts- especially with him around. Why was I behaving like this? It's not like I'm a teenage girl- I mean, I am, but I'm not at the same time. Half of me wished I could go back to my time and everything would be normal. I would be working at a miserable law firm, just like I studied for; But there was another part of me that kept stealing glances at Taesung as we picked up the trash from the wooden floors. 

What the hell is wrong with me?!

After we finished picking up the confetti and remains of the balloons (that had been popped by our small yet lively party), we stood in the living room, which had now become devoid of any evidence that it was full of liveliness a while ago.  My gaze wandered around the room and I stood completely still as if my feet were rooted to the ground. My eyes finally fixed on the green guitar placed against the wall. It was as if I was hypnotized by it as I took an unconscious step towards it.

"Do you like it?" he asked, as I tore my eyes away.

"What?"

"Do you like the guitar?" he repeated himself, the corners of his lips tugging at a smile. 

"Ummm," I stuttered, "I... I guess so? It's a nice guitar."

"Do you play?"

"No."

"Do you want to?"

I suddenly found myself unable to answer his seemingly simple question. I froze there, my stubborn voice refusing to speak. The truth is, that I felt drawn to the guitar. It was something new and exciting. I took another look at it; It was as if it had been calling my name this whole time.

"I can teach you if you like," he offered, and I thought he might have observed the manner in which I was staring at his guitar.

"Right now?" I said with too much enthusiasm. I bit my lip- was it too much?

"I mean, if you really want to," he stammered out, taken aback by my sudden display of eagerness.

I glanced at the clock, "It's already 9 o' clock," I observed.

"You're right. I should let you go home," he realized, "We can meet after music club practice tomorrow. If that's okay with you?"

"But it closes at 5," I frowned, "Where will we go?"

He thought about it for a brief moment, "How 'bout you come here?" I felt heat rise up my cheeks, "Here?" I asked, trying to figure out if I misheard him.

"My dad is usually not at home, so we won't have any disturbance," he explained.

"Sure," I agreed, trying my best to sound nonchalant.

It was almost as if I was breathless. What do I call this feeling?

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: the tension between yumi and the guitar-

delphi's notes: something is brewing...

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

li. thunderstorm

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CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE ─ thunderstorm.

❛ meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

My footsteps sounded on the concrete pavement as I ran with all my might towards Eunyoung's house. All the strength in my body was being utilized just to bring me to her and fix all the misunderstandings once and for all. I felt the chilly wind through my hair, and the breeze picking up dust and sending it flying everywhere, as if transporting me to my first meeting with Eunyoung. The skies had begun to grow darker, grey clouds casting their shadow over the Earth. I felt a sharp pain in my left leg, but I kept going, desperation flowing through my veins, pulling me closer to Eunyoung.

How clearly I remembered the very first day I encountered her. It was a day so magical and surreal, unlike any other; And I doubt any day could be compared with it. We had only known each other for a brief few minutes when she took my hand as we ran through the rain without a care in the world. Her actions were so elegant, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and for the first time, I found myself unable to hate the rain. It left me breathless and awestruck at her sheer beauty- and that smile that I could never erase from my mind.

Memories with little stolen moments with her flashed before my eyes. My mind wandered back to the night of the field trip; Her delicate fingers tracing the contours on my body, her warm touch and seemingly careless drunken words that meant the world to me. At first, I had been quick to believe that it was all a mistake. But there was an undeniable sincerity in her voice, something too real to be ignored.

Realizing that she was upset and in tears because she thought I had left for America blossomed hope inside me. Though it was hard to believe that someone as dazzling as Eunyoung could ever like me back, a feeling in my gut told me that it was meant to be. And all the moments we spent together had come to this. For a split second, I had considered going to America and giving it another shot. But then the thought of being separated from Eunyoung made me feel dizzy and sick.

As I turned a corner, my pace slowed down as I saw her at last, walking in her rain with no umbrella. Eunyoung.

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Rainwater trickled down from my hair, onto my face and even my clothes. I felt it slowly dripping down, soaking my jacket as the downpour grew heavier by the minute. The storm was just like the day I met Sunjae, and we ran through the rain without a care in the world. There was a different kind of storm brewing inside of me. The memory came back to me, but rather than feeling happy reminiscing on it, it felt more like a needle pricking me, piercing through my skin.

I dragged my feet along the street. I couldn't even find the strength to lift my feet. No matter how I tried to explain to myself that Sunjae going away was a good thing, and that he would be happier, my stubborn heart continued to ache with longing. The thought of not being able to see him again was unbearable and the thought of which brought tears to my eyes.

My tears, mixing with the rainwater, cascaded down my face like a mighty waterfall. I had never felt more pathetic. Not only had I embarrassed myself in front of the boy I loved, but I had also lost the chance to say a proper goodbye. It was completely heartbreaking and I could feel the pain in my chest as I started to sob loudly. The rain drowned the sound, and it was as if the skies cried with me, engulfed in sorrow.

Just then, I felt someone's grip on my wrist. The touch startled me, and I turned to see who it was with hesitation. My eyes, red and sore, still streaming tears, went wide. It was Sunjae, wet hair dripping down his face and he was breathing heavily. His furrowed eyebrows softened on seeing me, and my heart skipped a beat. Even in this situation... he looked as beautiful as ever.

"Sunjae," I breathed out, "What- what-"

Before I had the chance to finish my sentence, both his hands grabbed my face and I felt his lips crash onto mine. My heart pounded in my head, and I felt my body getting warmer despite the cold rainwater sticking to me. The kiss was aggressive at first, as if desperate to prove a point. I was taken aback. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought something like this would happen. I found myself melting into his kiss without another thought, my body yielding to his touch in the most natural way possible. 

My hands reached for his waist, and in that moment, the world fell away. The sound of the rain pounding against the pavement was muffled, as if we were lost in our own little universe, a place untouched by time or reality. All thoughts, all worries evaporated like mist, leaving just the feel of him—us.

His lips moved against mine with a kind of tenderness that made my heart stutter, like he'd been waiting for this as long as I had. It was as though each kiss carried a silent promise. The raindrops slid down our faces, mixing with the heat of our skin, and it felt right—like the storm itself was rooting for us, draping us in its cold embrace while we burned in the middle of it.

His hands cradled my face so delicately, fitting there perfectly—naturally—as though we'd been sculpted to match each other. The warmth of his palms grounded me, even as my knees felt ready to give way under the weight of everything he made me feel.

And his lips... God, his lips. They were soft, impossibly soft, as though I'd finally found the place I was meant to be. Like they were spun from clouds, stitched together with every unspoken desire I'd ever had. Every gentle brush sent sparks along my skin, igniting a fire that I didn't want to put out.

The rain poured harder, soaking through our clothes, tangling in our hair, but I didn't care. I could have stayed there forever—wrapped in his arms, our bodies close, and our hearts speaking louder than any words ever could. For the first time in forever, it felt like nothing else mattered but him and me. Just us, against the world.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: at long last!!!

delphi's notes: everyone clap for eunjae 👏🥳

previous chapter next chapter: friday list of chapters here!

a/n: sorry for the mess up in the chapter order and late chapter i was travelling :(

xxv. between notes and secrets

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE ─ between notes and secrets.

❛ and i feel so high school

every time i look at you ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The sunlight peered into my room through the translucent curtains hanging over my window. The light cast itself on every surface- my desk, the wooden floor littered with various teenage junk and my spinning chair. Even my bed, which was in an obscure corner of my room couldn't avoid the stingy hot rays of the sun. I lay on my bed like a dead starfish abandoned on the sea shore, staring blankly at the ceiling above, deep in thought.

It's been a couple of weeks since I started learning guitar from Taesung. No matter how hard I tried to be nonchalant about it- I couldn't help myself. He was on my mind, all right, consuming my thoughts day and night. Here I was, rotting in my bedroom on a perfectly pleasant summer Sunday afternoon, thinking about a boy who probably never had a comprehensible thought in his life. Scenes played in my mind like flashbacks in a movie. His gentle tone explained things to me; How our hands would brush ever so often and my stupid heart would start racing like a mad horse.

I wanted to believe so desperately that I was the only one in the world who knew this side of him. Sensitive, kind, gentle- vulnerable. His tough-guy act was all just a pretence. I could see a new part of him now that I had spent so much time with him. His eyes showed a glint as he spoke about music- passion. There was something else about him that he wasn't ready to tell me. The melancholy in his voice whenever the subject of family came up- neglect.

I felt pathetic thinking this to myself, but I wanted to know. Curiosity pierced through my heart, a desire to know him better. What kept him up at night? What makes him smile? Or cry? I wanted to know it all.

I lazily moved to my desk, slouching in my chair as I propelled myself towards the table with my legs. I gazed at the music sheet lying on the table. This music sheet wasn't an ordinary one. It was for the song Taesung was teaching me on the guitar. My fingers played with the corners of the paper, mindlessly folding it. My other hand reached for my pencil as I began to scribble on a different scrap of paper.

The long-hidden time, calls us back again.

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Have you ever felt like someone is keeping something from you?" I asked Sunjae as we walked back home from the bus stop through the warm Monday afternoon.

"The feeling of being lied to?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Like they're withholding information on purpose."

"I don't know," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck that glistened with sweat, "Is something on your mind?"

"It's probably nothing," I shrugged, looking up at him to smile reassuringly, "Yumi had been coming home late these days. She said there are extra lessons at the music club, but I have a feeling that isn't the whole story."

He smiled back at me, flashing his dimples. My face must have turned the colour of a fresh tomato because I could feel the heat rising. I tried to play it cool, but it was no use. 

I knew it was silly. But there was something about him that just drew me in. Maybe it was his kind eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, or his laugh that not once failed to bring a smile to my face, or it was just the way he made me feel. Whatever it was, I couldn't deny it. I had a stupid, hopeless crush on him.

"It feels amazing to take off my shoulder brace," he sighed as we turned a corner.

"Does it still hurt?"

He shook his head, "The doctor said that it won't get triggered unless I engage in strenuous physical exercise."

"I'm glad you're better now."

A comfortable silence filled the air, our smiles never leaving our faces as we journeyed home. I don't know when I'll be going back to my time, or how much time I had left. In that moment, none of it mattered. All that was important was the soft melody of "Sonaki" in my mind and Sunjae's company which was as warm as the summer breeze flowing through my hair.

💿

I stared blankly at my flip-phone screen displaying a message from an unknown sender.

Hello Eunyoung. 

It's your dad.

My heart raced, threatening to burst out of my chest. I felt my breath become shaky and my hand reached up to my heart in attempt to calm myself. There were a million thoughts and questions running through my mind since the moment I saw the message. What did he want? How did he find my number? But one question brought my spirits crashing down to rock bottom. Where had he been my whole life?

Everything seemed to come back to me. Memories of me as a baby, tiny and vulnerable, desperate to be loved. Now I remember everything I did to try and get my dad to look at me longer than a fraction of a second. I once even tore his favourite pair of shoes to catch his attention. That seemed to make things worse. I thought he hated me. I never once thought he was capable of love. The way he screamed at my mom...

I covered my ears in agony- I could hear the scene replay in my head.

Another message flashed on the screen.

Let me make things right. Can we meet up somewhere?

"Eunyoung?" My mother's voice fell upon my ears. In shock, I spinned in my chair to look at her beady eyes staring down at me.

"M-mom..." My voice stuttered and stammered as I felt a lump in my throat, "D-did you..."

I want to cry.

"Listen, Eunyoung," she began, her voice cold and stiff, "I know this isn't your fault, but under no circumstances will you agree to this. Do you understand? I hope I've made myself clear."

"Yes, mummy," I said, faking a smile, trying to blink away my tears. A warm smile appeared on her face as she pulled me in for a hug, "You're all the family I need." I said to her, biting my lip, trying desperately to hold back the urge to cry my eyes out.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i'm so proud of that header 🥹 also eunyoung is so real for that last line.

delphi's notes: the way she calls her mom mummy ;(

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xiv. the space between us

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN ─ the space between us.

❛ our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea 'bout me and you. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae and Eunyoung sat silently in Eunyoung's living room, the sound of occasional hiccups or sobs breaking the silence. She reached for his clenched hand, gently squeezing it as an acknowledgement of the agony that he felt as if to say, "I'm here for you."

"How did you know?" Sunjae asked quietly, trying to conceal the spark he felt at her touch, "That I got hurt."

"I realized you never showed up the the bus stop, so I asked your friend," she answered, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" he countered, "Even though we haven't known each other for long, you've been here for me like a pillar of support. You always seem to say the right thing at the right time. I feel comfortable with you. You've got nothing to be sorry for. In fact, I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have listened to your advice."

His words seemed to melt her heart like ice cream on a sunny day as her face began to feel warm, "It's not your fault, Sunjae. I should have tried harder."

"No," he said firmly, taking both her hands as she gazed into his glassy eyes, "You tried to warn me, but I was too stubborn. You can't possibly blame yourself for what happened to me. Maybe fate has other plans for me."

His words echoed in her mind; all she could do was sit and stare at him because she was the only one who knew what destiny had in store for him.

Their eyes locked as both of them desired to look nowhere but at each other. The air seemed to grow heavy with words they had been holding back since their first meeting. Eunyoung's breathing became slow and the sound pierced through the silence. As she continued to stare at his perfect face, her gaze shifted from his pillowy, soft lips to his eyes, moist from crying, then fixed on his lips, unable to look away. Sunjae, slowly, in a moment of realization, became aware of where Eunyoung was looking. Eunyoung's breath hitched ever so slightly as he leaned towards her, the action filled with hesitation. Their lips were a whisper apart, a secret yearning about to be fulfilled.

The doorknob rattling filled the air as they pulled away abruptly. Sunjae let go of his grip on Eunyoung's hands, startled at the rude interruption. Both their eyes began blinking rapidly, looking everywhere but at each other. 

As Yumi entered the room she stopped in her tracks, trying to make sense of what they were doing. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What are you two─ have you been crying? What happened?" Her voice was now laced with worry, oblivious to what she had walked in on.

"It's nothing," Eunyoung said sharply. A hiccup escaped her mouth as she sloppily tried to cover up the situation. 

"I'll leave you two alone," said Yumi, although as she walked to her room, her eyes seemed to convey a message to Eunyoung, as if to say You're telling me everything later.

Sunjae and Eunyoung were left alone once again and the silence felt louder than ever. Tension filled the room as she avoided his gaze. A tangled web of emotions and unspoken desires hung heavy in the air, a barrier that was both thrilling and terrifying.

💿

The newspaper room of Jagam High School was usually a lively place to be. The place always buzzed with heated discussions and the sound of busy fingers typing. However, at this moment only Hyejin and Yerin sat lazily in their designated chairs, gazing out at the bright summer day through the single, huge window in front of them. Yerin's cellphone buzzed, breaking the silence.

"Hey, look Mrs. Hong just messaged," she told her friend, who peeked into her phone, curious as to what their teacher had said, "The meeting is shifted to tomorrow."

Hyejin groaned, "The one day we show up early the meeting gets cancelled. Great."

"It's so unfair," Yerin grumbled.

"By the way, did you hear from Jiwoo? How's she doing?" Hyejin asked after a few moments of silence.

"I spoke to her yesterday," answered Yerin, "She's supposed to be discharged from the hospital this weekend. I can't believe she got chicken pox; It must have been so painful."

"Who wrote her article about the swim team?" Hyejin inquired.

"Don't you remember the teacher praising Eunyoung about─ oh yeah, you weren't there," she realized suddenly, "Do you know Choi Eunyoung?"

"Yeah, of course I do," she answered as if it was the most natural thing in the world, "She's probably the prettiest in our grade─ or maybe in our whole school."

"Well, she's the one who wrote the article," Yerin said, "She wrote it well, honestly. All the teachers like her."

"The people in my class said that Jiwoon sunbae likes her," she remembered suddenly, "He tried to get close to her and stuff last year. They're saying he's planning on confessing his feelings to her."

"Really?" Hyejin exclaimed, "I saw her with Ryu Sunjae on the bus the other day─ I thought they're going out. He kept her head on his shoulder and all. It seemed kind of serious if you ask me."

"No way!" Yerin remarked, shocked, "She's like─ really pretty, though. She and Sunjae would look good with each other. I've heard she's kind of reserved, so I don't think she would go out with someone for fun. I know so many people who tried to speak to her, but she gave them the cold shoulder and was really formal."

"Ugh, I hate girls like that. They always turn out to be so bitchy," she grumbled, "She has a sister who she's close with; but I don't think she has many friends. It's so high-and-mighty of her."

"Have you ever spoken to her?"

"Can't say I have."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: the first scene of this chapter is literally just a product of my intrusive thoughts lmao. i randomly came up with it and ended up keeping it. hope you liked it!

delphi's notes: yumi's got no idea what she walked in on 🫢

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!