These are in chronological order of when I posted them, starting with the oldest fic. Most contain swearing, any other warnings will be posted in the description. You can also find me on AO3 here. I will be updating!
The Whole Truth - First fic I ever posted! Baz is interrogated and placed under a truth spell.
A new kind of fire - Based on that Fangirl excerpt where Simon is about to fall off a cliff, and Baz saves him.
Simon Snow’s birthday. - (why does this fic not have a proper title) Baz decides to be nice.
Leavers ball - (ditto) There’s a roommates dance, and Simon refuses to miss out on his last Watford tradition.
The lucky one - Simon wants his magic back, and Baz hates seeing him like this.
Last words and first kisses - Simon decides to prove that Baz is a vampire once and for all.
Being in love with your mortal enemy is only acceptable when you’re under a spell. - Penny devises a love spell, and Simon identifies the perfect target.
The one where I stole someone’s soulmate AU idea (I think the tags said that people could use it as a prompt?) (Anyway, in hindsight, that was super rude of me.) - The first time you call your soulmate by their first name, you’ll know.
If Philippa Stainton hadn’t run out onto the drawbridge… - Uh-oh…
Just forget this ever happened - MY MOST POPULAR FIC!! Baz finds a spell that erases people’s memories, and gets addicted to using it on Simon…
Next-Level Plotting - The war is happening, and Baz is obviously plotting, and not at all concerned for Simon’s wellbeing because that’s uNrEaLiStIc.
It’s all yours. - Baz shares his magic with Simon like Simon used to share with him.
Only time will tell - Agatha has to decide between Baz and Simon, and spells herself into the future to try to find out the best outcome.
come back to me. - Snowbaz are already together, and Baz hasn’t come back for eighth year. Or, the beginning of Carry On rewritten as if they’re already a couple.
Prankster - Simon decides to prank Baz the Normal way. Then one prank goes too far.
Smells Like Home - Baz is missing, and Simon can barely smell him in the room anymore.
Dating Agatha Wellbelove - Fifth year. Simon is dating Agatha, but he’s obsessed with Baz.
Opposite day - Simon accidentally casts a spell that makes everyone say the opposite of what they mean.
Magic separates her from the world - Agatha in first year
Even if it’s just pretend - What if Simon had stayed in the car with Agatha and Penny? PART ONE: SIMON PART TWO: BAZ
Secret santa 2016 - Post-canon bit of fluff where everyone flies
Disengaged - Soulmate AU where you sleepwalk to your soulmate
Tired of hiding - Baz starts going to an LGBT+ club at Watford, Simon finds out and it changes the way he sees Baz. Warning: homophobia (or at least, Baz thinks that’s what it is, but there is no actual homophobia in the fic)
Roses are red - Baz sends Simon Valentine’s Day cards
Spell me out of this - Simon can’t deal with his feelings for Baz so he uses magic to repress them
Two can play at this game - Agatha tells Baz that Simon loves him, but it’s the day before April Fools, and Baz is not falling for that.
Room enough for two - AU where there is only one bed
Nemesis Mine - Superhero AU:
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Epilogue
Plotting face - fluffffffffff
secret notes - Simon writes Baz an anonymous note
Mine - More tooth-rotting fluff
fight me - They have a fight. (But don’t worry. It’s all fluff.)
When intentions are lost in translation - Simon gets hurt, Baz takes care of him, and Simon accuses him of plotting
Fic every day in April - Here’s a link to my FEDA tag (which contains a lot of the last few fics listed plus some small drabbles)
Deepest Darkest Secret - Soulmate AU where you know your soulmate’s biggest secret:
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22
12 August 2017 - It’s been 15 years since Natasha Pitch’s death.
Don’t let go - Simon is freaking out about Baz having been locked in a coffin.
I Wanted It to be Real - a fake relationship AU:
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
Carry On Countdown 2017 - Simon and Baz have been messaging each other online, neither knowing who the other is. I incorporated prompts from the countdown into one ongoing story, but I didn’t do every single day, so this might look confusing but this is all the chapters in order:
Day 2. Social media Day 4. Rainy day Day 6. Angst day Day 9. Flowers Day 10. Song inspired Day 14. Fairytale retelling Day 18. Stuck in a room together Day 19. Late night/early morning Day 24. Stars Day 27. Snowy day
Made your mark on me - Soulmate AU where the things your soulmate loves show up on your skin.
Only Because It Rhymed - Simon casts a spell that forces Baz to rhyme everything he says, then has to figure out a way to undo it.
Alexa, this is so sad. - The Alexa meme can be used as a spell that plays a song that describes what someone’s feeling, which causes some problems for Baz.
In which Baz is scared of flying - the title pretty much says it all
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four
Summary: Part three of the soulmate/enemy au based off of this post. Not as angsty as the last part thank goodness.
Words: 1800
Warnings: Someone has a panic attack (relatively mild)
I’d love to hear what you guys think :)
Simon
Baz is definitely plotting something. So far this year he’s been acting even more suspicious than usual. Sometimes I catch him staring at me really intensely in class, like he’s going to eat me or something. The way light catches in his dusty grey eyes, dark hair falling in his face, sends shivers down my spine, he looks so evil.
I squint at him across the classroom. Maybe if I stare hard enough I’ll be able to figure out some clue to his plot. He taps his pencil and brushes his hair back, then looks at me and raises an eyebrow as if to say What’s you’re problem, Snow? I turn away. I check back a few minutes later and find him staring at me with that same hungry expression. I growl, frustrated, and shift restlessly in my seat. The end of class couldn’t come soon enough.
My classes have felt especially long today because today’s a special day. Today’s the day I’m going to ask out Agatha. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, almost since I first met her, and now I’m actually going to do it. I just need to find the right moment.
______
Agatha
“Agatha!” I turn around and see Simon Snow hurrying towards me across the grass, his hair blowing in the slight breeze. My own long hair streams out to one side and tugs gently at my head, ethereally floating and twirling in the air as if asking to break free. I put my hands in my pockets and watch as he approaches. As he gets closer he slows and looks down at his feet. He looks nervous. Finally he stops in front of me, still looking at his feet.
“Agatha.”
“Yes?” I have a strange feeling I know what he’s going to ask me.
“I was wondering,” He rubs the back of his neck. “If you’d like to go out sometime.” He looks up, hopeful blue eyes shining in the late afternoon Autumn light.
“Like on a date.” He’s so boyish and expectant, I almost want to say yes. But I can already feel the usual panic welling up inside of me in a thick buzzing swarm. I try to shove it down but it’s like trying to stop the rising tide. My lip quivers and the pressure behind my eyes builds, and Simon’s still waiting for an answer.
“I- I’m sorry Simon. But no.”
“Oh. That’s okay.”
“It’s just,” All of the sudden I can feel hot tears on my cheeks, I can’t hold it back anymore. “You can’t know, don’t know what-” My voice breaks.
“Agatha, are you okay? Did I do something? I’m sorry.” He puts a hand on my shoulder. I step away.
“It’s just, I’m not like you. You couldn’t know but I can’t date you because I’m fake and I’m not right for anyone and, and-” Simon’s looking at me with this horrible confused expression on his face. I back away and then I’m running and running, hair whipping around and getting stuck to the wet skin on my face.
I can’t date Simon because I’m a freak. It doesn’t matter how pretty I am, how flawless my hair is, or how perfect my life seems to be because it all feels like a lie. When I look in the mirror I don’t see any of that. I see blank wrists and the helpless voice in my head that always seems to be shouting things that never leave my lips.
______
Baz
Classes have ended for the day and it’s the time when Snow usually hangs out with Bunce or Wellbelove, so I get our room to myself. It’s liberating to be able to stretch out on my bed without having to put on any sort of show for Snow or anyone else. I glance around the room. Snow’s stuff is strewn everywhere. I’m tempted to take something and hide it under my pillow or whatever. Partially to spite Snow, partially because I’d just like to have something of his. Just to have. And maybe hold sometimes when the yearning, tearing feeling in my chest grows unbearable.
Moving as if in a trance, I find myself standing on Snow’s side of the room looking down at one of his ratty shirts. Slowly, hesitantly, I reach down and lift it up, handling it like it’s made of glass. Oh. It smells like him. Sweet and warm. I can’t resist, I bring it closer and I’m just pressing it to my face when the door swings open and Simon walks in. I freeze, heart in my throat.
______
Simon
Baz is standing there, clutching one of my shirts to his chest and holding the sleeve up to his nose (sniffing it??). I stare at him, shocked, and he stares back at me. Neither of us reacts for one long, uncomfortably drawn out moment and then we both start talking at once.
“What are you, um, why-”
“I was just, you see, Snow-"
We both cut off abruptly. More silence. The shirt drops from Baz’s hands and I clear my throat. I didn’t think it was possible but Baz looks…flustered, caught off guard. Suddenly he strides smoothly across the room, brushing past me and out the door.
I walk over and carefully pick up the shirt he had been holding. It’s just a normal shirt. He probably spelled it with some sort of itching spell or something, that seems like him, and I caught him in the middle of it. That’s the only explanation for his reaction.
Holding the shirt as far from my body as possible, I place it in a corner of the room away from the rest of my clothes, then try to put it out of mind.
My laptop’s sitting on the bed. I have an essay due tomorrow that I haven’t even started on. I sigh and I try to flip open the screen but it won’t budge. I tug and attempt to dig my nails underneath the screen but it’s stuck to the base as if super-glued. I growl, it’s Baz. I know it. He’s spelled my laptop shut so that I’ll look like a fool when our essays are due. If I could only un-spell it…I think I remember Penny mentioning the counter spell at some point.
Closing my eyes, I reach inside and try to draw the magic up. After a moment it fizzes under my skin, popping and buzzing and building up. It’s too much, like pouring an entire bag of Pop Rocks in your mouth all at once. I grit my teeth and focus, trying to just let one spark out.
______
Baz
I walk back into our room to find Snow on the floor, staring wide-eyed and helpless at his smoking laptop. It’s just the distraction I need from the shirt incident, he looks ridiculous. (And absolutely adorable, I might add).
"You know Snow, blowing up your laptop won’t make the homework go away.” He looks up at me from the floor, pouty and disgruntled. It’s all I can do to stifle my laugh. I try to smirk but end up smiling foolishly instead.
“I wasn’t trying to blow it up.” He pokes at it with one finger then jerks away as the laptop sparks sporadically. “This is all your fault, you spelled my laptop shut!”
“I most definitely did not. You’re just paranoid, and obsessed with me as usual.” Then I remember, I did spell his laptop shut, but that was weeks ago. Whatever. I’m not telling him that. I can’t believe he hasn’t discovered it until now.
“I’m not obsessed with you.” He mutters. “It’s just, I have an paper due tomorrow and Penny’s tutoring Agatha so she can’t help.”
“Poor little Snow, can’t even write a paper by himself. How pathetic.” I say, but my heart’s not really in it, and the insult falls flat. He looks so hopeless.
“Crowley Snow, it’s just a paper, it’s not the end of the world.”
“I know.” He frowns unhappily. I hesitate then say, “You know, if you’re really that desperate, I could help you.” Snow looks up.
“What?”
“Nothing. Never mind, it was a stupid idea.”
“No, you said you’d help me.” His eager expression stirs something in my stomach. I was going to regret this.
“Yes. I did say that.” Snow thinks for a moment.
“Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“Okay, you can help me.”
* * *
We’re sitting on the floor between our beds. Neutral territory. Neither of us has acknowledged the incident with the shirt. Simon’s chewing on his pencil, eyes burning holes in the paper as if that would somehow make the essay appear on the page. I can tell he’s having trouble focusing, he seems even more distracted than usual. Suddenly, without looking at me, he speaks up.
“I asked Agatha out today.” My stomach drops to the floor. I feel sick all of the sudden and it takes all my energy to look indifferent.
“Hmm. And why are you telling me this?” My throat is dry.
“I don’t know.” He looks at the floor, not meeting my eyes. “She said no.” I blink.
“What?” He and Wellbelove would be the golden couple, the perfect match while they were both waiting to meet their soulmates. It doesn’t make any sense for her to say no. (Not that I was complaining, I was just surprised).
“Yeah. And then she sort of…started crying.”
“What? Why?” I was intrigued despite myself. He shrugged. “I don’t know. She was saying something about being fake or something and then she just ran off.”
“I’m not surprised. One look at you and who wouldn’t run away crying?” I smirk at him, trying not to show how interested I am in his love life. Perfect angel-girl Agatha gets asked out by angel-boy Simon Snow, The Chosen One, and then runs away crying? It didn’t make any sense.
“Shut up Baz. I shouldn’t have told you. Just forget about it.”
We go back to working on his essay. My hand accidentally brushes his and I pull away so fast I nearly fall over. Simon gives me a strange look.
I hate him for making me this way. I never asked for it and I certainly didn’t want it.
Being so close to him is like balancing on a tightrope, one wrong step and everything I’ve worked so hard for will come crashing to the ground. And I’ll be the one breaking into a million different pieces, not Simon. Never Simon.
But sometimes I wonder if that would really be that bad. Because I already feel like I’m breaking and tearing into a million pieces every single time I look into those beautiful blue eyes.
ohhhhhh I truly cannot get over the EVIL GENIUS of having crowley make a point of immediately taking his sunglasses off every time he's in the bookshop or alone with aziraphale this season, showing just how comfortable he's become showing his emotions and his vulnerability to aziraphale since season 1, opening himself up completely at every opportunity, showing us a side of him that's remained almost entirely hidden for millennia, only for him to silently and purposefully put his sunglasses back on immediately once aziraphale rejects his love confession. like, bravo gaiman, I saw what you did there and I'm never going to fucking recover from it. well done
the reveal that gomens 2 is like a bridge season between two massive plots is so fucking funny
like part one: dozens of people in a literal race to stop armageddon fifteen minutes before it happens with heaven hell and humanity all battling it out with flaming swords and a kraken and brian cox as the personification of death.
part 2: we are forced to have A Conversation About Our Relationship after being yelled at by the lesbians across the street
seokjin : You’re smiling, did something good happen?
Junmyeon : Can’t I just smile because I feel like it?
Taeyong : kris’s current girlfriend dumped him.
Jeonghan : Very publicly.
Hakyeon : With a slap and a splash of wine in his face.
Jinyoung : Also yixing is coming home a month early.
Junmyeon : its like christmas and thanksgiving put together :)
“Thanos didn’t just destroy half of the universe, he destroyed their whole world.”
Found the best edit I’ve ever seen ohmygod
@/lvfrcptnswns on Twitter
1. An orgasm 2. Attention 3. $50,000
One more! Because I’m a sap for happy endings and there were like... so many options.
On a personal note: I am completely floored by all the comments, tags, messages and additions to that other comic. I’ve read and cherished each and every single one. <3
Your words pierce right through me Even if I leave You would never blink an eye
Right Through Me — DAY6 (Even of Day)
Mentally I'm stuck in Thriller Bark