Despair Is Easy, Hope Is Hard. And Brother, I Like To Stay Hard

every day i think about the cat on twitter who looks more like a scheming eunuch than any creature has ever looked

monkey i love you beloved little freak i would die for you

crinoids are so insane what's up with them

????? plant

??????? plant whos schmoovin

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.

take me down to catgirl city where the boys are girls and the girls are kitty.

I genuinely don't think the trans/queer community at large has separated itself from the transphobic idea that everything trans men do is embarrassing and cringe, and it rlly shows in the way some of you talk abt your questioning of your gender back in 2020, as well as artists and people associated with teenage/young transman/masc culture, and it's rlly disappointing to see, esp since it's so common in the transmasc community itself

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

Fellow trans men I need you to know that shitting on other trans men is not going to make people who hate trans men like you.

Sure, they’re nice at first. After all, you’re One Of The Good Ones. You’re not like those other trans men and transmascs. You’re not some cringe achillean soft boy playing the ukelele and listening to Cavetown. You’re not gonna date a straight man and detransition for him in a few years because you’re actually trans and not some stupid girl trying to be trendy. You understand your issues don’t matter as much as everyone else’s and you spend your time uplifting everyone else and shutting down any of those insufferable pooner fakeboys claiming otherwise. You don’t even listen to them directly, you let everyone else tell you what they’re saying so they don’t contaminate you.

But one day you’re going to step out of line. You’re going to disagree with someone on something and you won’t be able to just sit back and shut up on it. Or you’ll do something you didn’t even realize would be an issue. But you’ve done it. You’ve said it. And now your status as One Of The Good Ones has evaporated into nothingness. You’re just another Aiden now. You probably sing shitty bedroom pop songs about wanting to be a bug. They’re imagining you in their heads as having a picrew icon with the toothpaste mlm flag. Hell, give it two years and you’ll be a terf and that’s assuming some cishet dude’s dick doesn’t turn you into a cishet girl.

Then you’ll have two options. One is to realize it never mattered how hard you tried to convince these people you were worth listening to or caring about by playing the part they wanted and being their token, they still ultimately never cared about you and you made a mistake throwing other transmascs and trans men under the bus. Your other option is to dig yourself deeper, deny deny deny, and then hope you can find acceptance in a new group where the same cycle of events will repeat.

Only one of those options will let you heal.

Crying with my mama—

I ask what the limit to her love is.

She says that there’s nothing,

still some clarity is wanted.

She doesn’t understand

becoming something different,

but I can hold her hand

and she can ask forgiveness.

There’s a

blue sky ahead—

it grows

by keeping promises.

If god

made wheat

for bread,

then god made me to be an honest man.

Daily in communion with my deepest wishes—

shaving in the mirror,

reading science fiction.

Tomorrow and tomorrow, I will learn the meaning,

of the lengths that I will go to be alive, and love, and listen.

There’s a

blue sky ahead—

it grows

by keeping promises.

If god

made wheat

for bread,

then god made me to be an honest man.

I will not repeat the tenets of my born religion,

or lend weight to an argument that I am not sufficient.

I am not determined by the love that I am given.

I am here because I’m here because I’m here,

and it is written.

There’s a

blue sky ahead—

it grows

by keeping promises.

If god

made wheat

for bread,

then god made me to be an honest man.

I will choose myself over the institution.

I will not believe the propaganda that I’m used in.

I can break my heart to own my revolution.

Oh, and I am more courageous for the wanting.

I am more courageous for the wanting.

And I can choose to be

an honest man.

Mama, I won’t plead,

I’m simply what I am—

and you can still believe

whatever that you can.

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)

Dir. Beeban Kidron