Imaboringtwat - Idk What To Put Here

*in siri voice*

"Pain has successfully been relieved."

*star trek noises*

"Thank you for using our service. Would you like to leave feedback?"

elon stink's voice echoing all the way from his stupid mansion in america: AHGHGHGHGSAJGDJHGASDGHJASHGHHHH

me: thank you, 5 stars, siri.

Reblog to give your period cramps to Elon Musk

A: occupied Poland.

First Felon has over 3500 court cases.

Now that he is a convicted felon, fraud, and adjudicated rapist, he wants to skip judicial process and one-way ticket innocent people to concentration camps in El Salvador.

i didnt read this

Those strong fingers moved up his arm, almost encircling his whole elbow. Was - was Aziraphale tracing the patterns on his tattoo?

Holy fuck that feels good.

Crowley gripped Aziraphale's bicep, the strong, solid muscle under his hand making him go slightly dizzy. Aziraphale's solidness always did something to him, but he had always shied away from admitting exactly how much he liked seeing the contours of Aziraphale. The first time he had seen Aziraphale with his sleeves rolled up, he had felt like a man in Victorian times looking at a maiden's exposed ankles for the first time. Those forearms, God help him -

Ah. Thirsty Crowley my beloved.

Chapter 18 of my fic Temporary Bliss is out, ahead of schedule!

aww thats soo cutee

They're openly going after immigration lawyers now

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!