A Lot Of Adulthood Is Shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” Hours After You Put It In The Washer/dryer And

If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

No cause I need the Crows to meet up again after the events of rule of wolves. They come back, Wylan and Jesper are rich and married and own a cat named Tim. Inej is a highly respected pirate with 200 times her weight in kruger, NINA IS THE QUEEN OF FJERDA WITH A DOPE ASS TRANS HUSBAND, and Kaz is still alive.

How are we feeling, Mark Nation?

Cecil.

Caybe? Or.. Caybe not?

My only aspiration in life is to be so unsettling that middle schoolers everywhere lay eyes upon me and are forced to write a Creepypasta in my honor.

Reasons I'd get kicked out of Camp Half-Blood

1- telling Chiron to "stay gold, Ponyboy"

2- belting the chorus of "sweet home Alabama" every time I see a couple in the camp

3- making your mom jokes to Athena and Aphrodite kids

4- randomly spraying Percy with a squirt gun to check if he's really water resistant, even when he's not expecting to be in contact with water

5- approaching random campers and reminding them who their half-siblings are (ex: "yo, Nico, did you know you're related to Hitler?)

6- hiding a noise machine in the Hermes cabin and playing the star Wars scene "Luke, I am your father" every time he eneters/ making it play Hamilton at all hours of the night, so we can fall asleep to the sound of our father's voice

7- telling kids to "read between the lines", knowing full well they can't even read the lines themselves

8- convincing the younger, more gullible Demeter kids to grow weed

9- bribing the Hephaestus kids into making me a gun that shoots celestial bronze bullets, because there is no way in Hades that I am about to go after monsters just wielding some pointy sticks

10- sneaking into the Hera cabin to sleep, because what do you MEAN I, a claimed daughter of Hermes, don't get a bed in my own daddy's house? Yeah, no, I'm staying over at grandma's, the goddess of motherhood. Smite me.

My personal headcanon:

When Cecil moves to the GDA, he meets the OG Donald and they kind of hit it off. It starts as a friends with benefits stress relief sort of thing (Cecil is a grumpy old gay man and he hates connection because it gives people leverage over him), but eventually Donald forced Cecil to confront his actual feelings for him. They start this whole secret relationship, and just when Cecil is starting to truly let his guard down, Donald dies. And then he's brought back as a robot. And Cecil is like "okay, cool, my boyfriend is back, we can continue as normal" and quickly realizes that Donald doesn't have his memory back. And Cecil starts spiraling. I mean, he's distancing himself as much as possible, he's throwing himself into work, he isn't sleeping, you get the picture. And Donald 2.0 is worried about his boss. He steps into a caretaker sort of role, trying to get Cecil to stop being a stubborn dick and actually take care of himself. Cecil decides to try again, because if he couldn't have Donald 1.0 back, maybe a fresh start will be fine. And so Cecil and Donald 2.0 get together. And then Donald dies. Again. When Donald 3.0 shows up, Cecil hardens his heart and refuses to try. He doesn't reciprocate any moves Donald makes on him, he acts strictly professionally. And for every version of Donald since, he keeps it steadfastly platonic, if he even lets him close enough to be friends. And still, nobody knows what the fuck is going on between them except for Cecil.

Somebody has to hear me out on Cecil X Donald.

Coworkers to lovers. Amnesia trope (sort of). And the ANGST? Oh, the angst would be crazy.

Like what do you MEAN you keep having to watch your partner die, and then you have to wipe his memory again and again? What do you MEAN he's not going to remember what you meant to him when he comes back, but he's going to fall for you again and again? What do you MEAN you have to decide whether to try again, knowing how it will end, or deny your heart and do the job? What do you MEAN-

-the ice court wouldn't have happened, meaning the group wouldn't have joined forces. Matthias would be in hellgate, Nina in the white rose, wylan doing who knows what, jesper being an addict and losing money he doesn't have, and Kaz and inej would probably still end up kings and queens somehow. You can't stop that tsunami.

-he probably would have found her anyway. Kaz would be coming to meet with Tante Helene, and would notice her eavesdropping, and realise he hasn't noticed it the entire meeting until he was leaving. This would intrigue him because,duh, nobody sneaks up on Kaz Brekker, bleh bleh bleh. So he would decide to train her as a spider, leading to canon events. (or this is unlikely and I just can't stand my ship being sunk)

-I don't know.

-he would have never joined the dregs, since Van ICK would have allowed him to take over the empire. His mother would still be married to Jan, and they'd have a pretty average life- for rich merchers, anyway.

-I don't know.

-i don't know, sorry guys.

-he would either have made it in Ketterdam and become a mercher, or he would run out of money/get scammed by someone else, leading to the canon events.

This is probably all bullshit tbh but enjoy 😍

What if’s Six of Crows Edition (SPOILERS!)

What if Jurda parem was never created?

what if Inej never offered Kaz her help in the menagerie parlour?

what if Jesper wasn’t grisha?

what if wylan could read?

what if Nina never got lost in the woods?

what if Matthias helped Nina on the ship?

what if Jordie never met Jacob Hertzoon?

My oil painting of Popeyes