Writers Are Scary Because We’ll Take Personal Trauma And Think, "Hmm… What If This Happened To My

Writers are scary because we’ll take personal trauma and think, "Hmm… what if this happened to my fictional characters but worse?"

More Posts from Imnotallie27 and Others

3 weeks ago

Shout out to my writing mutuals as well 🙏 y'all rock

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them

1 month ago

haymitch seeing a bunny: "how could I possibly kill a creature that brings to mind my girl?" 🥺

snow seeing mockingjays:

10 months ago

Batfamily Powerpoint Night!

(mandatory team building)

Links to the full slideshows, updated as I post them!

Part 1: Bruce’s Full Slideshow:

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Part 2: Dick’s Full Slideshow:

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Part 3: Tim’s Full Slideshow:

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Part 4: Jason’s Full Slideshow: 

(they forced him to be there so he’s making it everyone’s problem):

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Part 5: Cass’s Full Slideshow:

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Part 6: Stephanie’s Full Slideshow:

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Part 7: Damian’s Full Slideshow:

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Part 8: Duke’s Full Slideshow:

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Part 9: Barbara’s Full Slideshow:

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Part 10: Alfred’s Full Slideshow:

(unexpected addition, mostly about Tim):

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2 months ago

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

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1 month ago
Have You Ever Been To Earth?

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

4 months ago

So close LibreOffice! The word I was looking for was arsenal.

So Close LibreOffice! The Word I Was Looking For Was Arsenal.

Thanks for the suggestion though.

1 month ago

Literally dying after reading sunrise on the reaping, the real enemy has been REMEMBERED.

Lucy Gray should be proud to know she haunted that evil man every damn day of his fucking miserable life


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1 year ago

I saw you love red, white, and royal blue and I've just gotta ask you: have you heard of Burn the House Down by Kenna Jenkins? It's an alternate history novel abt the 1st woman president and her secret sapphic relationship/bearded marriage with her mlm best friend. It also includes a subplot about arson at the White House, ft. An entirely queer main cast and really fleshed out characters, and has a really satisfying ending!

That sounds amazing!! I'll definitely need to check it out.

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imnotallie27 - This hawk ain't big enough for the tuah us
This hawk ain't big enough for the tuah us

Allen, she/they/he, in a lot of fandoms

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