tomarry is when god complex meets saviour complex send post
I wish someone would make this a fanfiction, and if it's already made can someone tell me how to find it
Scary Dark Lord / Tom Riddle turned simp for Harry Potter is my fave thing.
Time Trave AU where Harry is ACTUALLY trying to keep on the DL except Tom is smitten with the way Harry lights up durning DADA and the way the sun shines through his messy hair.
He of course tries to turn on his charm onto Harry but finds himself stumbling over his words and Harry looks at him like 𤨠Because Harry of course would think Tom is talking to him for nefarious reasons other than to maybe see how warm his hands get in the winter time.
Tom would find any excuse to talk to Harry like wanting to hold his books while they walked to class, but Harry would take it as "he is calling me weak?!"
And while he was trying to walk next to him he would trip over his own two feet.
Tom would feel defeated because Harry doesn't want to give him the time of day and get really upset when he sees how easily he laughs with literally anyone else other than him.
Sure, he may pull some nasty trick to get him partnered with Harry in herbology, but he is heartbroken when Harry glares at him the whole time. Why doesn't Harry smile at HIM? He didn't even do anything to him?
Harry catches him glaring at the other students and thinks he is up to something troublesome, and uses Tom's obsession with him to "keep an eye on him" when really Tom is just thrilled Harry said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him š„°
Cult Reincarnation part Three! Here's parts One and Two if you missed 'em.
The followers of Bill Cipher are the most blessed of believers. Strong and devoted, they are empowered to overcome all things, through service to their god.
And in times of trouble, the devout always have something to turn to.Ā
Dipper bows his head before the golden image, and tries to force his muscles into a semblance of relaxation.Ā
Worship.
He hopes hating every second of it doesnāt matter. If it works at all.Ā
Praying to a god, in the domain of said god, should technically speaking be overkill. This kind of thing is supposed to reach through the veil between planes, not just partway across a building. The process has a lot of kick to it.Ā
Thatās the theory, anyway. Dipperās working with what heās got -Ā
But heās not sure Billās all that easy to reach.Ā
No worshiper has ever called for help and received it. There were excuses, of course. Dozens of them. But brushing them off with a ānot worthyā doesnāt work when itās literally everyone.
Either nobodyās worthy, or no help is provided. From what Dipperās learned about the god himself, itās the latter.Ā
Probably because Bill doesnāt care about most of them. Maybe because he thinks itās funny. The third guess -Ā that he thinks helping is boring - is currently leading the pack.
Thereās another reason, too. One thatās⦠technically possible, but Dipperās trying not to think about it.Ā
No matter what the cause of it, none of those bode well for Dipperās plan. Thatās on top of the fact that summoning Bill is, by all metrics, an incredibly reckless idea.Ā
Still, desperate times call for desperate measures.Ā
Dipper needs a quick way out of an awful situation, and itās one he got himself into this time.
Focusing on the shape of Bill in the window, Dipper concentrates. Breathing in, then out.Ā
He snaps his fingers, and the candles bloom with bright blue fire, before settling down to the standard red-yellow glow. Despite everything, he spends a brief second admiring the tiny flames.
The magic comes so easily to him now. Studying mysterious texts found in a hideous nightmare realm is another bad idea, but you canāt argue with results. Whoever gathered the books in the guest room must have -
Another wailing howl rings down the corridor. A distant scrabbling echo, the scrape of claws on stone.
Dipper drops to his knees and scrambles to finish his makeshift setup. Something ninety percent cribbed from the ritual he āvolunteeredā for, minus all the blood.
Rushing through this isnāt optimal, but hell, none of this is. Dipperās working on a hope and a literal prayer. Being in the guyās home instead of a dimension away should amplify the effect. Bill might not be able to ignore him, if heās loud enough.
When the alternative is being devoured by wandering demons, Dipperās willing to have a bit of faith.Ā
Just a smidgen, though. Enough to make this work.
Another chattering sound, though more distant, gives him plenty more panic-induced belief to work with.Ā
With all the setup done, Dipper claps his hands together. He tries to steady his breathing. The words of the ritual resonate in his mind instead of out loud, which should be good enough considering the god in question.
And he knows Bill, too. Personally, not abstractly. Dipper can hold the image of him in his mind as clearly as if he was standing in the room. The fact that itās a human shape shouldnāt matter. Heās⦠ninety five percent certain it wonāt.
Now. If he focuses. If he reaches out with sincere effort and desire, pushing with the magic that bubbles inside him - this should work.Ā
He really, really hopes it works.Ā
āYou rang?ā
His heart nearly leaps into his throat. Jerking up right, Dipper whips around towards the voice.Ā
Where Bill Cipher stands. Heās right behind him and just to his left, as smug and dapper as always. Appearing out of freaking nowhere.
Dipper slumps back down to the floor as Bill wiggles his fingers in greeting.
Thatās one hell of a response time. Heād barely gotten started before Bill popped into place.
āLooks like you had a fun little jaunt!ā Bill claps his hands together, leaning - but not quite looming - over him. āI wondered where youād run off to!ā
The phrasing makes Dipper wince. Thatās not - he hopes Bill didn't really mean that. It would mean he got the wrong idea.Ā
Dipper didnāt ārun offā, because heās not stupid. No matter what other people might have said.Ā
All he wanted was a cursory look around. Checking out if there were other āapartmentsā, see if there were any windows. Something brief enough to let him get an idea of what kind of place he was dealing with, then heading back to the relative safety of Billās place.
Which might be the weirdest part of all.Ā
That it is safe, for a limited version of the word.
Since being kidnapped, heās had zero new injuries. Plenty of comfort, reasonable safety, and very little to hide from. Material comforts, not promises that never get realized. Even his room in Billās place is the nicest place heās ever lived, cozy by any definition.
Casting everything aside for the chance at an āexitā is a dumb choice.Ā
Dipper was doing just fine where he was. No running off anywhere. Heās been perfectly fine with his three little rooms, even if itās a bit limiting.Ā
Technically he has access to four, if you include the living room. But that one usually has Bill in it.
Some worshippers would have bled far, far more than Dipper did, for even the briefest chance at access to their god. Getting their messages to him directly, basking in his radiant golden presence, accessing all his mysteries - a dream that they could hope to think about achieving, one day in the future.
And theyād all be disappointed.
Turns out Billās both weirder and more crazy than any scripture made it seem. Itās nothing like⦠anything, really.
Dozens of passionate sermons on Billās infinite wrath, crumbling in the face of him being totally, bizarrely chill with everything Dipperās done so far. Hours of speeches about his unknowable motives, and infinite grandeur, shattered by watching him pontificate on whether he should wear the ācoolā socks today, or the āones with little duckies on themā.Ā
Hell, Dipper watched his god blow up half of a wall by accident and shrug it the hell off - then later get so mad at something on interdimensional television he choked on the gummy bears he was eating.
Years of study has done nothing to prepare Dipper for this, and he was the one looking in forbidden texts.Ā
Itās. Informative. But also, like, a lot.Ā
So for the most part, Dipper decided to hole up in the guest room. Itās easier than parsing the god puzzle, and the alone time is nice.Ā
In the last⦠few days? More than a week, possibly, heās had time to read, write notes, take uninterrupted naps, and nothing bad has happened to him. Peace and quiet came at a premium back in the compound. Here, all he has to do is shut a door.Ā
Still, books only last so long to keep someone occupied. Confinement has always made Dipper kinda stir-crazy.Ā
And on the one occasion when Bill wasnāt in the living room, well. Curiosity has always driven Dipper into absolutely dumb actions. Including going snooping again. Maybe a tiny bit of peeking into Billās bedroom, because the door was unlocked.Ā
And since that was unlocked, it only made sense to test the knob leading out of Billās quarters.
Itās not Dipperās fault the damn door disappeared the moment he stepped outside.
So really, he didnāt ārun offā. He wasnāt trying to escape, or even go too far from his room.
He just got bored.
And when that went south, he didnāt have many other options. Turns out the Fearamid is full of demons. He saw that on the way in, but he didnāt truly understand the extent.Ā
Without Bill escorting him, the concept got hammered in pretty much immediately.
The moment he stepped out, he must have caught the attention of damn near every demon in this godawful place. One young human, basically catnip for monsters. The first one showed up within a minute.
Time is strange here, though. It might have been longer.Ā
Dipper has been running for what feels like hours.Ā
āWhatās the matter, kid? Trip not as fun as you expected?ā Bill gives his shoulder a friendly shake. āOr didja just miss me?ā
Dipper shrugs.Ā
Sure, itās nice Bill showed up. Itās great that heās not deadly. But heās arguably a different kind of problem.
A few tugs on his shirt make him reluctantly stand, turning to face Bill. Despite being summoned in his own home, heās surprisingly upbeat.Ā
āNow Iām guessing you called me - and this is just off the top of my head here - that once you got going, you couldnāt find your way back.ā Bill sets fists on his hips, eminently amused. āA little lost lamb like you musta freaked out!ā
Before Dipper can do more than shrug, something with way too many limbs scuttles around a corner, filling the hallway with a writhing mass. He surges closer to Bill, heart in his throat.
A moment later the creature spots Bill, and freezes in place. Then, lifting each of its limbs like itās tiptoeing, it backs all the way up and around the corner. Like it opened a door, saw something twice as horrific as itself - and then carefully shut it again, trying to pretend that didnāt happen.
āDo me a favor, though, and put a little less āoomphā into the magic next time.ā Bill pushes a pinky into his ear and twists it around, then pulls it out and flicks it clean. āThat crap was loud.ā
Dipper nods rapidly. Yep, can do. At some point he started clutching Billās elbow, but heās not about to stop. Not here.
With Bill guiding him, the mazelike corridors present no further problems. Even though they do turn around at least three times, and at one point walk on the actual ceiling, Bill keeps going with perfect confidence in his stride.Ā
There aren'tā any interruptions, either. Compared to mere minutes before, the halls are mysteriously quiet and empty, leaving him and Bill to stroll along, hand on elbow.
When they arrive back at the penthouse, Bill opens the door with a sweep of his arm, and a slight bow that might be mocking - but Dipperās too tired to be bothered.
So much for the āescapeā idea. Running around the Fearamid was nothing but an exercise in terrified frustration.
It would be rational, Dipper knows, to be more upset. But the cult was also a confusing, stupid, terrifying place that held him captive, and back there he could never count on having a hot bath, or privacy, or sleep.Ā
A few weeks ago he would have said the threat of death back home was lower, but now? He knows which one heād choose, any day.Ā
The one confounding factor is Bill himself.Ā
In the cult, you couldnāt avoid him at all. Always talking about him, if you still were able. Praying to his idols, going to the rituals, chanting and waving your hands like an idiot in the air. Making sure that your every action pleased him. Following all his orders. Every day, some part of your day was spent thinking or acting on his wishes.
Actually being around him every day requires⦠precisely none of that. Heās so -
āDifferentā would be the wrong word. A being whoās lived for literal eons doesnāt change things up on a dime.Ā
This is Bill Cipher without any convenient āreinterpretationsā.Ā
The priest was wrong about Bill. Everything he said was at best incorrect, and more likely a bunch of self-serving bullshit. Everything they ever did was stupid and wrong. Bill never cared about what they did, or all the prayers they sent or literally any devotional action. And thatās a true, unshakable fact, because the opposite idea - that Dipperās mere presence changes Billās behavior, even one iota - is laughably outrageous.
Another slight shake. Bill, trying to catch his attention again. Heās raised an eyebrow, examining Dipperās face as he thinks.
Right, Dipper should - uh. Probably just get out of here. Before Bill does something like get annoyed at his ungrateful guest. Or worse, put on the expectant look again.
With a quick nod, and a ācuteā smile, he shuffles out from under his arm, and scuttles for the guest room.Ā
Everythingās just as he left it. The open book. The tidy sheets. The notes he was taking, before he noticed Bill was gone and thought heād have a tiny look around -
āHavenāt done much redecorating, I see.ā
Dipper nearly leaps out of his skin. Shit, what -Ā
Behind him, Bill hovers at a disrespectful distance. His eye is narrowed, and his expression suggests a man whoās not terribly impressed.Ā
āA full week shoulda had you settled in way more.ā Bill says, shaking his head in⦠disappointment? He stalks around Dipper casually, glancing around the room. āHey, you made the bed! Thatās rare!ā
Dipperās mouth works, but thatās an old, dumb instinct. He shuts it, and glares.Ā
Bill wanders around, casually pacing around the small space. A quick check of the bed, yanking out the sheets until theyāre messy again - then setting his fists on his hips, looking proud of himself.
Okay. This is new.Ā
Billās been around, but heās never intruded before. Every time Dipper wasnāt sure how to deal with him, he could retreat back to the guest room and be sure that heād have some space. Quiet, too, aside from the occasional piano playing, drifting through the door.
Now heās thinking all of that was a courtesy.Ā
Obviously Bill canāt be kept out of what is, after all, his place. Heās simply chosen not to intrude until now.Ā
With supreme confidence, Bill drops onto the bed, tucking his arms behind his head and crossing one leg over the other - yeah. Still his place, and he knows it. He didnāt even take his shoes off.Ā
āOh!ā A bright grin crosses Billās face. He rummages under the pillow for a second. āI take it back - you did make one addition to the decor.āĀ
With a grin, he brandishes the stupid plush of himself like he was holding up his firstborn child. Because he is, as Dipper learned, a narcissist.Ā
Ugh, of course heād find that. Dipper looks away, trying to keep his annoyance off his face.Ā
āYeah, yeah, glare all you like, kid.ā Bill says, wagging a chiding finger. āYouāve been making yourself scarce, but you canāt avoid me forever! At the very least ya need to get those stitches out in a few days.ā A smirk. āThough Iād love to see you manage that yourself.ā
Dipper canāt argue with that. He does try to stop glaring, but itās surprisingly difficult.Ā
āWhat?ā Bill sits up, setting mini-Bill in his lap. He raises an eyebrow. āNot got anything to say?ā
Obviously not. Dipper folds his arms, and tries not to look at - not an interloper, this is Billās. Heās the guest. Getting bothered by it is rude at best.
āBut no! Silent as the night is long, and orders of magnitude more boring. This whole time, I havenāt heard a peep from you, Pine Tree. And I've been very patient.ā Bill sighs, running a hand through his hair. āWhat gives?ā
Like thatās not obvious, either. Dipper pinches his lips together, tight.Ā
There was a sacrifice. Made in Billās name, and for his honor. A devotion bestowed unto him. He can ignore cries for help, but thereās no way Bill didnāt notice that. Just like when he showed at the ritual, or at Dipperās impromptu summoning. The call would have been too strong.Ā
No, even stronger. With that much blood spilled, it must have been like a signal beacon.
Bill knows what went on. He just didnāt care.Ā
And now heās being an asshole, just because he can.
āItās especially irritating when you have plenty of avenues to make a statement.ā Bill rises from the bed with a sigh, dropping mini-Bill back onto the pillows. āYou just havenāt put in the effort!ā
Without waiting for a response, he stalks straight past Dipper and over to the desk. He runs his fingers over the surface, caressing the edge of -
Oh, shit, no.
His journal. That he left out, like an idiot, assuming Bill would never, ever come in here to see it-
By now itās far too late - he must have seen a bit already -Ā but Dipper hurries over towards him anyway. Itās not like he can shove Bill out of the way, or smack anything out of his hand. The repercussions would - he doesnāt want to think about those; they make him feel so sick.
Billās already picked it up, he even turned a page -Ā
āSee? Youāre literate, sapling! Reading and writing, both at your command.ā He rests the journal against where his heart would theoretically be. āWhy havenāt you shown any of it off?ā
For a lot of very good reasons. For fuckās sake. Billās already intimated that he knows Dipper doesnāt really believe. But he is arrogant, and powerful. A terrible, awful, confusing god.
He canāt be allowed to read that journal, because gods do not like being called āassholesā. Even if itās true.
Though itās a dumb move, Dipper makes a grab for the damning evidence. Billās too quick though; he misses by a mile.
āOop!ā Bill raises his arm high, looking at Dipper with amusement. āAww, nice try! So close.ā With a wink, he dangles Dipper's own personal, very private notebook over his head. Why does this bastard have to be tall, damn it. āWhat, you want this?āĀ
Dipper grits his teeth. No, he was never going to get it back by force, or speed, or even a quick wit. One young human doesnāt stand a chance.Ā
Desperate times. Desperate measures.
It worked before. It might work now,Ā
Dipper takes a slow breath, and lets it out. Then he shuts his eyes, and kneels.Ā
Above him, he hears Billās laugh fall silent. Slightly placated, then. A little more should do the trick.Ā
With a great effort of will, Dipper bows his head, hands pressed together. He can get through this. He can kneel and - kind of sit awkwardly on his foot, he shifts his weight and braces his palm on Billās thigh for balance.Ā
Heās about to start praying when something hits him in the head with a thump.Ā
Dipper jerks back, hissing through his teeth. He starts rubbing at the spot, head lowered -Ā
And when he blinks at the floor, a book flops unceremoniously open on the carpet.Ā
Before Bill can move, Dipper snags the journal that was just dropped on him. Tucking it under his arm for safekeeping, and scooting back on the carpet.Ā
āEh, whatever. Go ahead and keep it.ā Bill folds his arms, turning away to sit back down on the bed. Weirdly huffy for a guy who was getting worshiped. Maybe Dipper did it wrong. āBesides! I donāt need to skim through some book to know you.ā
Welp, thatās ominous.Ā
Dipper shuffles back over to the desk. He glances over at Bill - looking away, still in his odd sulk - then opens a drawer, drops his journal in, and shuts it with his hip.
Another huff from Bill. By his face heās not in a great mood, but it doesnāt seem to be actively dangerous.
And he doesnāt make another move for the journal. Even though itās full of secrets.
Thatās one relief. Maybe he considers Dipperās secrets too boring. Maybe Billās not interested in them, beyond using them to antagonize him.Ā
Heās a god, anyway. A demon slash god slash infinite being of pure energy. All human thought should be totally beneath his notice, just like the fleeting human lives that make up his cult -
But that doesnāt make sense, either.Ā
Dipper rubs at his eyes. Silently willing any part of this, at any time, to finally come together.Ā
Because if humans were totally beneath Billās notice, why is one of them here? Living in his home, taking up his space, eating his food and breathing his air and getting weird expectant looks. Even for a supernatural being, thatās no small effort.
If it were just about his blood, Dipper could understand that. It wouldnāt be very fun, but heād get it.Ā
But itās not. Because none of it has been spilled since the ritual. Because nothingās been painful or threatening or - okay, a lot of itās been weird, but nothing like the scriptures said it would be. All the rules Dipperās learned simply donāt seem to apply.Ā
Billās supposed to be -Ā
Heās supposed to be different, is all.Ā
But hee can hardly blame Bill for that. Itās not his fault people got him wrong, or idealized him, or if heās super weird - that last part was advertised, extensively.Ā
Thereās a lot of things that a lot of people are āsupposedā to be, Dipper guesses. It never really fits them, in the end.
He just doesnāt understand why Billās doing this.Ā
āDonāt think weāre not gonna go over the main pain of the day, either.ā Bill gives Dipper a long, annoyed look. āWhat kinda guy stays at another guyās place and doesnāt give him so much as a āhelloā?ā
Dipper shrugs, and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He canāt quite meet Billās eye.Ā
Okay, technically Billās right. That would be rude, if it werenāt for certain circumstances.Ā
āAnd I donāt mean chanting a prayer, either! You got fully functional hands and a brain.ā With a frown, Bill stands and approaches. Dipper backs up against the desk, but Bill stops a couple feet away, hands on his hips. āWhy not write a thank-you note or something?ā
Oh. Well.Ā
That was always an option. Dipper just didnāt know Bill wanted it.Ā
And why would he? Billās a mental god, a mind reader. Always keeping an eye on him. The idea that he just wants to be ātalkedā to isā¦.Ā
Yeah, another weird thing. Hell, at least Dipper can do that. It might not even be too embarrassing.
Before he can grab a pen and paper off the desk, Bill shoves a whiteboard and marker in his hands. He nearly jumps back, before accepting it with reasonable dignity. Despite having seen it before, Bill manifesting things out of nowhere is remarkably startling.
Now heās left staring at it. Wondering what he should do.
āAhem,ā Bill clears his throat. āYou could start with a, āHi Bill!ā or, āYouāre amazing, Billā. Yāknow, any kinda standard greeting.ā He claps his hands together, grinning wide. āBut Iāll give you more points for creativity.ā
Dipper glances down at the blank white board, then back up at Bill. He clamps his mouth shut, trying to focus.
That was a joke. Right? Heās, like, 90% the āpointsā are rhetorical, not literal. How do you get a bad grade in talking to a god? What metric would Bill use to - damn it, heās overthinking this already.Ā
What would be a good answer. What would be bad? And whatās the horribly wrong one that ends in disaster?Ā
Dipper hesitates, biting his lip. He hears Bill make a soft groan, either impatient or already disappointed.
Great. Yet another chance to fail his god. Just like all the other times Bill waited for something, and didnāt get it. Now heās going to read something Dipper wrote, words made just for him, and those will be the first words Dipperās ever said directly to him. They have to be -Ā
Shit. Right.Ā
Another glance up - Bill has his expectant look on again, and somehow itās even brighter this time. Watching tantalizing treat, held just out of reach - but maybe arriving, in a moment.
Of course. Thatās what Billās been waiting for.
The only truly wrong answer is not giving one.
Dipper gives a quick smile, and starts scribbling on the whiteboard. He can do this. It may not be great, but he can hardly do worse than nothing.Ā
The instant he puts marker to surface, Billās grin somehow widens to an impossible degree, even though itās the single most boring thing that could be going on in the nightmare realm. He even claps a few times, like a particularly annoying, demonic seal.
His enthusiasm takes some of the pressure off. Even if Dipper canāt bring himself to use the most worshipful greetings, Bill should be pleased nonetheless.
āLemme see, lemme see!ā Bill beckons him closer, eye bright and lit from within.Ā
For a second, Dipperās tempted to hold the board to his chest, feeling warm in the face. Itās really not a big deal. Bill doesnāt need to make one out of it.
After a second, he turns his head away and the board around, where heās written a fairly neutral - but still devoted! - greeting.
āI am at your service, my lord.ā
Bill looks down at the board.
Then he looks up at Dipperās face, searching it for something. Then down again.Ā
The smile has slid away, leaving a mix of alarm and disgust behind. Like Bill bit into a donut heād been saving for a special occasion, and got a mouthful of frog spawn.Ā
The reaction is so unexpected that Dipperās more baffled than nervous. What, is it his handwriting? A quick check proves itās perfectly legible.Ā
āCute, I guess! Give it another shot.ā Bill says, and wipes the board clean with two fingers. He laughs, in the tone of someone whoās seen a terrible social gaffe and is glossing over it. āTry āBillā, instead. āHandsomeā, if youāre daring. A pet name, even!ā His smile inches briefly downward. āBut ābout skip the ālordā or āmasterā for the next few years. Minimum.ā
Dipper slowly turns the board back around, though he does side-eye Bill for a moment. He gets a grip on the marker again, pausing for thought.Ā
What the hell, that was a classic. Every supernatural being likes deference. Especially the powerful ones. Except now the rules have changed up, again, without any rhyme or reason, because Bill just has to be super weird, all the goddamn time.Ā
Not that heās going to comment on it. If Bill overthinks this āno grovelingā decision, he might change his mind.Ā
After a few seconds of deliberation - Bill staring the whole time - he goes with, āHi Billā
āMuch better,ā Bill says with satisfaction. He rubs his hands together, smiling wide. āMan, we have a lot of catching up to do!ā
He leans in, very, very close, making Dipper lean back against the desk. He clutches the board tight, smiles awkwardly - and hopes this wonāt be too bad.Ā
One of Bill Cipherās domains of power is knowledge. Another is secrets.Ā
With the way Bill asks questions, itās like Dipper has a bunch that he doesnāt already know about.Ā
Bill wants to know his favorite color - blue - tells him it should be yellow, with a haughty sniff, then erases Dipperās apology and insists he tell him about his brief trip outside. And about how he likes the penthouse. How heās found the accommodations - comfy, thank you - and a thousand other minor, dull details. Keeping up with the sheer barrage makes Dipperās hand cramp, even when he skips out on full sentences.Ā
Itās one of the longest conversations - insofar as it is one - that Dipperās ever had with someone outside his old cult. Bill, meanwhile, is the god of that cult, and he still doesnāt seem to know anything about it. Or at least heās asking a hell of a lot of questions about really, objectively, boring crap. At some point, Dipper realizes that eternal smile isnāt there anymore, so itās probably boring him, too.
āAll of that aside - I think we oughta get to the heart of the matter, as it were.ā Bill snaps his fingers, and the grin resurges.Ā
Dipper nods. He swallows, throat bobbing, and ducks his head.Ā
Okay. Everything else has been kind of surface level. Now he must be moving on to deeper secrets. Things in Dipperās head that have never seen the light of day. Or the ones that have, and Billās going to dig into them, deeply. Possibly painfully so -
āWhy won't you talk to me?ā Bill whines.Ā
What?
Dipper runs that sentence back through his head, but thereās no other word for it. The high, nasal tone, the slump of Billās shoulders. A look that might be a pout - heās sulking again, but way harder this time.Ā
But that - Dipper double-checks his board, recalling all his responses. It canāt be something he wrote, that was all pretty bland. So either Billās just being weird again, or - something. Another thing.
Damn it. He wishes he had more space to pick this apart, but Billās been so close and talking too fast. He didnāt have time to analyze while bracing against the flood.
āSeriously, what are we looking at here?ā Bill says, straightening up. He paces around Dipper in a circle, arms tucked behind his back. āVow of silence? Cause if so, Iām your god, and I say screw that! Pipe up anytime!ā
Dipper shakes his head. No. If it was, he would have violated it a long time ago. Itās a weird guess.
Itās weird that Bill is guessing.
āEthereal binding? A curse, maybe?ā The idea must strike him as a fun one, because Bill perks up again. āNow if weāre talking curses, oh man! Iāve got a whole collection! Thereās dozens of ways to break those, kid. Hell, depending on type, we could get you patched up this evening!ā
Again, Dipper shakes his head. He huffs out a sigh, about to correct Billās incredibly wrong assumption -Ā
Then pauses with the marker above the board. Because - well - Bill wouldnāt want to be told the obvious. He should know this already.Ā
Dipper bites his lower lip again, frowning at the blank white space.Ā
Shouldnāt he?
Meanwhile, Bill rattles off more speculations, each one more bizarre than the last. No, he didnāt make a deal with a sea witch, or a harpy. He didnāt wander into the bog of silence, or sell his voice for some magic beans.Ā
By this point heās not bothering to hold up the board and marker anymore, just so he can shrug better. Without writing down his responses, he has more space to think.
He already knew the ādidnāt careā part. An ambivalent, cruel god would hardly have reason to help any easily replaceable mortal. The āboredā part might fit, if Bill wasnāt so bluntly fascinated by the topic. Obviously Bill thinks some suffering is fun, but this āconversationā doesnāt entertain him. Itās somethingā¦
There⦠was a another idea. One Dipper kept to himself.Ā
An assumption, and one that he knows so, so much better than to speak aloud.
Not that he can ever do that again.Ā
Looking at Billās face, though. Heās gone quiet, momentarily. Looking back at Dipper with his head cocked to one side. Staring, intensely, like he wants to drill the answer straight out of his brain. Which he can, heās Bill freakinā Cipher. But heās not doing it for whatever reason, so Dipper just has to roll with that.
At the end of the day, thereās no other conclusion to come to.Ā
That despite the all-seeing eye, the power of a god, and knowing mysteries of the multiverse -Ā
Maybe Bill actually, genuinely, doesnāt...Ā
Dipper has to try a couple times before he gets the letters down without them wobbling too much. He gets them down with careful strokes, board feeling heavy in his hands.
His hands only shake a little when he flips it around.Ā
āYou donāt know?ā
āHey, I know tons, kid! A billion things! I could tell you what I had for breakfast, January 25, 1938! Or what Machiavelli did in his spare time! But thatās stuff I was personally involved in.ā Bill scoffs. Then waves vaguely, not meeting Dipperās eye. āWhatever went on in your little conclave wasnāt on my radar. I might be short on specifics.āĀ
Even though he was already expecting something like that, the admission catches Dipper off guard.Ā
Holy shit, he was right.
Bill genuinely didnāt know. He just said it, though not in so many words.Ā
He just. Said it.Ā
There are things in the world that he doesnāt notice, or - or things that he misses, heās not -Ā
As Dipper reels at the revelation, he braces himself on the desk. Billās arm shoots out, bracing his waist like he thinks Dipperās going to fall.Ā
And. If this wasnāt for - if this wasnāt from Bill. If he didnāt command it from afar. If it wasnāt his order. Then it was always the people around him, especially the priest, and Dipper didnāt, maybe, do something wrong, he just.Ā
Dipper sniffs, then wipes at his face with his sleeve. Hopefully it looks like he was scratching an itch or something.Ā
Weirdly, Billās serious face starts edging towards⦠surprise? Alarm? He coughs into his fist. āSo, about the-ā
Dipper waves him off, then realizes that was stupid. He picks up the board again, and scribbles, āI canāt.ā
āWhat do you mean you ācanātā?ā
How is he not getting this? Dipper huffs out a breath, and underlines ācanātā. Twice.Ā
Bill rolls his eye, patting the air in a calming motion. āAlright, alright. Straight up incapable! Now are we talking emotionally, spirituallyā¦ā It was already weird to see him serious. Now, his expression is far too calm.Ā āOr physically?ā
Maybe Dipper shouldnāt admit this. Maybe telling Bill would get someone in trouble, but itās not Dipper in trouble, maybe never should have been, and momentum carries him forward.Ā
It takes a second to write it. The words keep coming out wrong. 'They said it was for blasphemyā.
"Show me." Both Bill's face and voice are dead flat.Ā
The sharpness of the command stings. Dipper winces, jaw clenching tight.Ā
Thereās the first order heās been given. Until now, Bill hasnāt bothered, and all things considered it could be worse.Ā
But it is an order. Dipper swallows against the nausea rising, and clenches his fists.
Okay. He can do this. Itās been a long time since he took a look in the mirror at that particular sight, but - right, lord of nightmares. Heās probably seen way worse.Ā
Under Billās impatient gaze, Dipper carefully sets his board and marker aside. Then he shuts his eyes, points at his mouth, and opens it.Ā
He only holds it that way for, like, a little bit. Exposing this sucks. It makes his mouth dry, and having Bill stare at it makes the twist in his stomach worse.Ā A few seconds all he can stand before he shuts it again.Ā
A low growl rumbles.Ā
Then Billās thumb digs into the corner of his mouth, pulling it back and shoving in between his teeth. Dipper tries arching his head away, but Bill turns him back with a commanding grip on his chin. A thumb digs in, wedging his mouth open and pushing his teeth apart. The only choice is to open up or bite him, and it hurts -Ā
Dipper twists his head. Bill holds him still. The helpless āahā that comes out of his throat sounds strained and weak. Shit, he should just be quiet, itās not like heās not used to it at this point.
Continual pressure, Billās not giving in - so Dipper relents, letting Bill get his awful kicks out of the sight. Face burning, eyes shut. Heās never liked having to use his mouth since it happened, and Bill keeps staring when he should have only needed a glimpse to know what was wrong.
Bill holds him like that for a full ten seconds. Silent. Staring.Ā
Then he lets go.Ā
Dipper stumbles back, covering his mouth with both hands. Through the rapid blinking, he can see Bill take a deep breath in.Ā
And another one.Ā
Billās eye is twitching but otherwise, heās dead-faced. No more smile, no easy stance. Heās tense and his fingers flex. His eye glows with a dull, burning light.
Thatās⦠not a happy look. Dipper presses his back up against the wall. He blinks rapidly, trying to clear the heat from his own eyes.
When Bill punches the wall, it shatters as if hit with a sledgehammer.
Dipper drops. Legs folding, butt hitting the ground, and pressing his hands tight over his face. Shards of the wall tumble onto the carpet, and blink away into ash, as blue fire burns in the crater; drywall flaking away to reveal more of that same black stone.
āYou have got to be kidding me! What kind of bullshit is THIS?ā Billās voice rings through the room, loud and so angry. He starts pacing back and forth, throwing his arms in the air. āBunch of half-witted jackasses ruining my stuff! And for what?āĀ
His voice turns strange and deep on some of the words, it resonates in the room, it makes the walls shake.Ā
Dipper shuffles up against the desk, taking shelter from the blooms of fire that seem to be popping up on the walls, and the floor, and - everywhere. Itās trailing along the baseboards, climbing up the corners.
Bill didnāt like that. He really, really didnāt like that. Heās angered his god again and itās going to be bad.
āAnd in my name! Under my image! What a laugh!ā Bill taps his foot against the carpet, teeth bared, eye glowing a bright, hot red - āThey like blood rituals? Oh Iāll give āem a blood ritual.ā
It feels like the entire building is moving by now, as Bill punctuates his statement with a kick. It tosses Dipper an inch off the ground, sending books and pens toppling to the floor. The door to the kitchen splinters into a thousand quietly screaming shards, before vanishing in acrid smoke. The heatās rising, Billās way too close - and the lightās gone strange and shifting, casting stark shadows in dark black and bright light.
Dipper never should have mentioned anything. Never gone outside, never left his room, never spoken up, the last is a lesson he should know by now. Never should have thought that Bill didnāt have infinite wrath available, how stupid was he.Ā
All he can do now is try and make himself small.Ā
Tucking himself against the desk isnāt working but thereās nowhere else to go. Nothing in this room is safe, and itās so hot - Dipper tries to breathe steadily but he canāt seem to get enough air.
āI never shoulda left that place intact in the first place!ā Bill throws his head back, laughing to himself with a manic grin. āThatās the last time I let a bunch of stupid cultists live with their lungs on the inside.ā
Bill punctuates his threat with another kick to the wall, which deforms like putty around him. Bill swears again. He yanks his leg, attempting to pull it out - and hey, the doorās open. Bill never shut it, heās turned away for now and as long as heās not looking -Ā
Dipper makes a break for it.Ā
Scrambling on hands and knees on too-hot carpet hurts, but the lower he keeps himself the less likely heāll catch Billās eye again. A frantic couple of seconds later heās out of the guest room, heart pounding, and he leaps to his feet and runs.
Canāt stay out here. Roomās too open, too many places to be cornered. Canāt be in the open or be seen, canāt remind Bill that the source of his anger is right here with him, so easy to catch and punish.
His brain catches up with him just as his foot hits stone.Ā
Dipper freezes in the doorway, breathing hard - but not stepping out.Ā
Okay, the exit opened easily enough, but he already knows that everything outside is terrifying and horrible and - he glances over his shoulder, at the blue light - itās not much of an improvement.Ā
With a jerk, Dipper abandons that escape route, and turns back to face the penthouse. The light from the guest room is growing, Billās anger surging, and before he storms out Dipper needs a place to hide.Ā
Thereās too much space under the piano. Heād never fit in the cupboards, or under the couch, and the fireplace is literally on fire -Ā
But there is one more open door that Dipperās never been in before.Ā
Bill might not like it, but he also wonāt look there first thing and itās further away from him than where Dipperās standing right now.
Heās through the door to Billās bedroom before he can stop himself -Ā no magical resistance, and no time to think about why - Dipper checks, but thereās no obvious exits, or closets, or even conveniently large wardrobes, why does -Ā
In the distance, Bill lets out a loud, angry incoherent sound. He hears the door slam, open or closed he canāt tell.Ā
As another rumble shakes the Fearamid,Ā Dipper ducks and slides underneath the too-large bed.
Thank hell the bedās totally oversized; thereās enough space to crawl, so he shuffles up and back, towards the headboard. Itās a little dusty and thereās some clutter he canāt see, but all that is easily shoved aside until he curls up, tight, against the wall and under the frame.
Thatās it. As far away as he can get.
Nothing left to do but wait.
It feels like a long time. Maybe it is, maybe it isnāt. Thereās no way to tell, with the only frame of reference being his own heart pounding, too fast.Ā
The building has gone still again, which. Hopefully thatās a good sign. Maybe Billās calming down. Maybe heās moved somewhere else. Maybe he noticed Dipper left, and heās going to hunt him down and -Ā
But it might take him a while. This is a decent hiding space. The blankets draped back down after he slid under, covering any line of sight. And all the light. Everythingās dark, and the cloth and bed muffle all the distant sounds.Ā
Somewhere, Bill lets out a single, furious shout. Dipper winces, but he canāt make out the words anymore. It could be about anything.
After that, thereās silence again.Ā
Simply waiting means he could stalk in without any sign. He can be quiet, heās basically a supernatural predator, and an ambush - he needs some warning.Ā
Dipper shuffles until he faces the wall, pressing his ear against the floor, listening for the approach - No footsteps. Yet. He can still feel his heart beating at a rapid pace, but he thinks heās not panting anymore, so. Thatās good.Ā
The quiet, and dark, and - for some, incredibly weird reason - the smell of the room itself all combine into a strangely calming effect. Not that itās safe, because absolutely isnāt; thereās literally only a duvet keeping him out of sight.
It just. Feels a little safer. For stupid, back-of-the-brain reasons, totally irrational. Like an animal retreating into its burrow from a predator, pinging ancient instincts.
Which isnāt rational in the slightest. Not to mention the danger is Bill Cipher himself. Dipperās putting his faith into a blanket keeping a monster from seeing him, and if it wasnāt so terrifyingly real itād almost be funny.
This is the best heās got for now. Heāll figure out the next step later. Whenever that is.
The one positive note is the yellingās been done for a while now. Quiet is a welcome relief. Even if itās temporary.Ā
Very temporary, as a sudden commotion starts up in the living room.
By the sound of it, Billās stomping around and making a clatter. Heās messing around with objects. Breaking something, maybe. Doesnāt matter, as long as heās not breaking someone.
More thudding - faster, like a run - then Billās voice, loud and slightly breathless. āHey! Pine Tree?āĀ
A long pause.
Dipper tucks his legs up against himself, wrapping his good arm around them. His other wrist throbs; he holds it close to his chest.
Swearing resumes, at a lower volume - then a rapid thump of a run, before an abrupt stop.Ā
Then Bill shouts again, echoing and distant, as if down a hallway. āDipper!ā
The name rings through Dipperās nerves like a bell. Itās like being clanged against a metal pot, sudden and shocking, vibrations running through him. He clasps his arm tighter around his legs, and shuts his eyes.
It- maybe that was less angry? Bill, wondering where he went. Dipperās not in trouble. He shouldnāt be in trouble. It wouldnāt be fair, it wasnāt fair before and it wouldnāt be now, he was just doing what he was told this time - and thereās no way to get out of here. Thereās nowhere else to go.
Dipper pushes his nose into his sleeve, face against the fabric.Ā
Itās too much to hope that Billās not upset - but he might have taken off somewhere. Found someone else to take his anger out on. A more deserving target.
He wonāt be mad forever. Right?. His emotions are flighty, and heās easier-going than the sermons made him seem. Given enough time, maybe Dipper can uncurl himself from this place, sneak back to the probably-ruined guestroom, and -
Footsteps, again. Close.Ā
Dipper jerks his head up from the floor and he can still hear them, even through the cover of the bed and blanket.
Billās not just back, heās in the room with him.Ā
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did he take off, that was the worst thing he could ever have done. The eye of God is always watching, witnessing everything Dipper does.Ā
He can run, and he can hide, but in the end he will always face judgment.
He claps a hand over his mouth and nose. Holds his breath. A few more seconds. A minute. Every moment he can get is precious.
Billās shoes on the carpet make a loud, distinctive thump. The sound heads towards the fireplace of the room - then pauses, and turns back to the door. A quick, repetitive path, back and forth. Not near the bed, yet. Billās muttering something under his breath thatās too quiet to make out, staying in the room, not leaving, until Dipperās lungs burn with the effort to keep still. Keep silent.
āFuck!ā Something slams into the bed, a thump on the mattress that sends the frame shaking. Despite all his effort, some air escapes Dipperās lungs through his nose with a short, high sound. He clamps his fingers over it, but itās too late.Ā
Silence.Ā
Bill goes still. Heās next to the bed. But heās not setting everything under the bed aflame, or swearing or yelling anymore. Dipper holds his breath again, daring to hope-
āAha!ā The blankets whip up, letting all the light in - and showing Billās huge, sharp teeth bared in a grin. āThere you are!āĀ
Dipper turns away. He faces the back wall, he lowers his head.
āI thought you almost ran out again for a sec!ā A low whistle. āBe a real shame if you got devoured, kid. Iāve barely even started with you!ā Thereās a shuffle, like Bill - the god - himself might actually be kneeling, if only to get a better look. āCāmere.ā
Dipper shakes his head. Behind him, he hears Bill let out a displeased grunt.
No, heās not coming out. Not for this. Not even if Billās mad about it.Ā
There's punishment waiting, once he emerges. Dipper can handle it. He has before.
But he will not go willingly. He never has.Ā
Obedience truly offers no protection. Bill asked Dipper to tell him. Dipper did as he was told for once. Getting hurt for it is just unfair. Hi only did what he thought was right. That's all he's ever done, no matter what anyone else says, and even if some of it was blasphemous then it sure as hell wasn't any of Billās business. He doesnāt even know what was said.Ā
If Bill wants to make a big, agonizing show out of something that upset him, then whatever. He can't be stopped.Ā
But he doesnāt get to pretend it's anything but cruel.Ā
He'll have to drag Dipper out.
Another grunt behind him, and the shuffle of something on carpet. Dipper hears it come closer, then the soft brush of something on his back - he flinches.Ā
āOh, for-ā A heavy sigh, then a retreating scuffle. Bill mutters something under his breath, then, āUnder the bed is where monsters live, sapling. By all rights I should join you! Might wanna get outta the way first.ā
Dipper doesnāt move, or respond. He remains still, in the desperate hope that Bill will find it boring enough to leave him be.
Thereās a pause. A long one, at that.
The silence lingers, for three seconds. Then five. Ten.Ā
āOkay! Okay, I get it.ā Bill says. His tone is calmer, though more sarcastic than soothing. āSo the little scene earlier got you freaked out. Itād be a pretty poor showing on my part if I didnāt inspire terror! But none of that was about you, kid.ā A patting sound, like a palm on carpet. āYouāre fine! No cowering needed!ā
Yeah, right. Dipper almost rolls his eyes.Ā
Oh, no, of course heās not in trouble. He just needs to come out so they can have a little ātalkā, or participate in this one little āritualā. With commentary that never once mentions his name, but says it louder than any words.Ā
It wasnāt true then, and isnāt true now. One of Billās major domains is deception, and in plain terms -Ā blasphemous ones - that makes him a big fat liar.
Dipper tucks his chin down further. Bill missed getting hold of his shirt earlier, so heās sure as hell not offering his hair as purchase. If he wants to wreak vengeance, he better break down the bed or scoot back under.
Either way, Dipper gets the small satisfaction of making him work for it. Itāll almost be worth what follows.
āSeriously!ā Bill says, indignant this time. āCross my heart and hope to rot in a grave, youāre not the guy in trouble.ā He waits a beat, then another - then an annoyed groan, as his lies have no effect. āAlways a frigginā skeptic, huh.ā
He pauses, then, āWhat do you want, kid? A bribe, maybe? Do I gotta blackmail you outta there?ā A hum of thought. āOkay, both! If you get outta there, I wonāt read your dumb journal and will get you something reaaally nice.ā
Let him talk all he wants. It doesnāt mean anything.Ā
āYou gotta come out eventually, yāknow.ā Bill continues. Dipper tries to tune out his voice, but Billās very hard to ignore. āYou canāt live there forever!ā
Itās true, Dipper canāt. At some point, heās going to need water, or to eat, or use the bathroom. All kinds of mortal human necessities.Ā
But until then, he can put off the consequences. Annoying Bill is just a bonus.Ā
Another, louder groan, and then Dipper hears Billās shoes on the carpet again. He stands by the bed for a moment, then goes back to tracing the same pacing path, back and forth. Not bored enough to leave, not annoyed enough to pursue. Even the slight reprieve is a surprising relief.Ā
Bill's also muttering to himself again. Mostly swearing, by the sound of it, but Dipper thinks he hears the word āstubbornā. Which tracks.
How long will it take before Bill gives up? Will he give up? Dipperās kept his interactions with him to a minimum; he doesnāt know how much patience Bill has. Or how long itāll last until the fire blooms under the already stifling bedframe, heat building -
āHa!ā Bill snaps his fingers. Chuckling, too, like heās just had a great idea.Ā
Okay. Not that long, then.Ā
Before he can curl up even tighter in the cramped space, he hears Billās thudding footsteps -Ā
Running out of the room?
Dipper waits for a moment. He squirms around enough to tilt his head, checking the space left from Bill raising the blankets. Nothing there.
Itās too much to hope that Billās truly gone. Heāll be back. By his exclamation and sudden exit, heās preparing for some dubiously good idea. Heās going toā¦
Toā¦Ā
Something.
For a moment, Dipper almost wishes he had hung out with Bill more. Talked to him, or, well. Wrote something to him. Maybe then heād have a better idea of whatās going on in that insane, convoluted head of his. Itās not burning Dipper out, apparently, or convincing him through lies. But that just leaves a giant blank space he canāt fill in with useful information.
It barely takes a minute before the sound of Bill storming back in breaks his train of thought.Ā
Since Dipper knows a scheme is being pulled, heās sorta prepared. He hopes it wonāt hurt, or not hurt too badly.
āAlright.ā Bill returns to his previous position, standing by the bed. His breathing has slightly picked up, like he ran all the way somewhere and back. āHow about this, then?ā
Dipper doesnāt respond. He can tell Billās getting back down to peek under the bed; the shadows show it, thereās a scuffle on carpet.Ā
Then, Billās voice. Higher pitched, somewhere in the range of cloying and deeply annoying. āWhatās wrong, Pine Tree?ā
What.
āI heard that someone is reaaaal upset!ā Bill continues, with the same godawful tone. āWhy donāt you come out and have a big cuddle with your-ā A pause, a quick āeughā - āSquishy little friend! Mini-Bill!ā
Okay, what.
Dipper turns away from the wall out of sheer morbid curiosity.Ā
The first thing he catches is Bill - looking annoyed, until he sees Dipper turn to look and instantly brightens. Heās crouched by the bed, looking sideways under the frame, one arm extended, and heās wiggling the stupid Bill plush.
Dipper stares at it. Bill jiggles mini-him some more, making the black legs and arms flop around like the most noodly of puppets.Ā
Bill dashed off like something was urgent, but it was really only just across the penthouse. Then he dug that out from under Dipperās pillow, and ran back like heād just had an amazing idea.Ā
Itās soā¦
Dumb.
With a playful whistle. Bill makes the puppetās arms rise up like itās offering a hug, clapping its little hands together.
In fact, Bill Cipher - is a goddamn idiot.
Itās the same phrase that always occupies a part of Dipperās brain, only this time instead of the shame, the self-recrimination, and the memory of pain - he kinda feels like he wants to laugh.Ā
God. Thatās. Vindication, isnāt it. Even while heās in danger, it feels really, really good.
Bill catches him watching, and all his smugness returns in a rush. āHa! Knew this would work.ā He says - in his normal tone, thank fuck. āYour - ugh - little friend is waiting, kid! Come give āem a kiss!ā
Alright, thatās enough.Ā
Dipper makes a swipe for the plushie, but Billās quicker on the draw and he misses by inches. That also brought him perilously close to Bill-range - he retreats before Bill can swipe right back.
Too bad. Heās not getting out of here yet. Being under the bed has been safe, so far. He canāt give that up.Ā
Bill groans, slumping down onto the carpet. He lies on his side, turning Mini-Bill around to glare like somehow itās the reason Dipper didnāt give in.Ā
āFine. Fine! Take your dumb toy, if he makes you feel so much better,ā Bill says, mockingly. With a wordless sneer, he flings the plush in Dipperās direction and flops down on his back. āHeās stupid anyway.ā
Mini-Bill lands just far enough away that Dipper has to shuffle forward to grab it. Bill doesnāt move from where heās lying, giving Dipper enough time to scoot back against the wall and bring it to his chest, holding tight.Ā
Yes, itās dumb that Bill got this. Yes, itās also dumb that Dipperās glad he got it, and he knows itās totally stupid, but having the one soft thing in his life in his arms again does make him feel better.
He checks Mini-Bill - still intact, undamaged - then back at the regular-sized version.
Bill lets out a derisive snort, but doesnāt speak. He folds his arms over his chest.
That⦠was nothing like Dipper expected.
That canāt have been his whole plan. Right? Thereās another plot. Deception that he hasnāt seen yet.Ā
On the carpet, Bill lies flat on his back. Heās glaring at the ceiling. One finger taps an impatient beat on his bicep. And while thereās no smile on his face, he doesnāt look angry, exactly, even though his brow is furrowed.Ā It takes a second for Dipper to parse.
Bill. Actually looksā¦
Tired.
Not physically, of course, thereās no sweat on him. Simply like heās run out of energy, and needs a moment to recharge. Like someone poked a pin in an inflatable plan, one he put a lot of work into, and now he needs a minute to sulk.
Which means heās not up to anything just yet.Ā
Dipper squeezes Mini-Bill a few times. Itās soft and clean. A quick check proves it doesnāt even smell like smoke from all the burning; the guest room must be pretty intact.Ā
After a moment, he wriggles onto his stomach, plushie tucked between his shoulder and ear.Ā
But he slows down, and stops. Billās eye is on him again, half-lidded. Contemplative.
Ā āWhat a shame. My humanās decided to dwell with the dust bunnies.ā Bill lays the back of a hand dramatically against his forehead, though his eye stays firmly on Dipper. āAnd here I was, just about to tell āem the real reason heās here.ā The barest flicker of a grin, quickly repressed. āGuess heāll never learn it now!ā
Okay, that's a temptation. Dipper glares, but it only makes Billās smile creep into a grin.Ā
And⦠fine. Itās effective, too.Ā
Whatever. Bill was right, earlier. Dipper really canāt stay under the bed forever. Itās cramped and dark and uncomfortably tight. Itās only been about half an hour and parts of him are already sore.
And if heās got to get out, then nowās as good a time as any.Ā
He rolls onto his stomach, and inches forward, before pausing with a jolt as Bill scrambles up to a sitting position. But he doesnāt go for a grab. He justā¦Ā watches, with a weird amount of anticipation. When he sees Dipper hesitate, he starts patting his knees.Ā
Great, Billās not just stupid, heās a dork.Ā
Yet another difference from doctrine. The list is getting really long - but Dipperās okay with that.Ā
It could totally be worse. Way worse.
Crawling his way out is way harder than it was getting in. Without the energy of panic, itās kind of a pain in the ass. Hiding in a barely accessible place seemed like a great idea until he had to get himself out.
Itās a far less eventful exit than he pictured. More awkward than anything. Also, the sideboard is lower than the space under the bed, and Dipper hits his head on it with a - well, he canāt swear. But he wants to.Ā
āHaving trouble, kid?ā Bill says, sounding amused. He gets to his feet, grinning wide. āNo problem. Lemme get that for ya!ā And snaps his fingers.
Light floods over Dipper. So does space, in an alarming amount.Ā
He glances around, where thereās no frame or legs or mattress or - where the hell did the bed go?
āUp you go!ā Bill takes hold of Dipperās arms, pulling him to his feet. āSee, that wasnāt so bad, was it?ā
Dipper looks behind him - no, the bed wasnāt turned over, or anything. He canāt see a blanket or a shred of wood around. But if Bill he can make things out of nowhere, he can get rid of them too, and -
He. Probably could have done this the entire time.Ā
āHey,ā Bill says. He catches Dipperās attention again with a little shake, holding onto his upper arms. āListen up, ācause you werenāt earlier - You arenāt the guy I was mad at, kid.ā
A brief, hesitant nod. Yeah. Okay.Ā
By now Dipperās pretty sure thatās the case, or everything else wouldnāt make sense. But the way he - with the punching, and the yelling, the distorted reality -
āNo, really! I wanted you in mint condition, sapling. Iām mad at whatever empty-headed asshole decided they should perform an objectively stupid surgery! ā His smile flickers into a grimace, sharp teeth very white in his face. āSomeone made a real dumb call.ā
On that, they can agree. Dipper nods, one sharp motion. He sniffs, and swallows.
Billās smile is back, but not the standard version. This is a thin thing, with tension around his eye.Ā
Though Dipper hasnāt been here long, he has learned a few things. One of them is how to read the variations of āhappyā that Bill puts on. Itās a clear cover for other emotions, running just below the surface
Right now, Billās still mad. Heās furious.
But like he said - itās not at Dipper.Ā
This is anger with no immediate outlet, burning underneath his skin. His eye is focused elsewhere, off into the distance over Dipperās left shoulder, like he can see the person he wants dead but just canāt reach them. Yet.
And Dipper knows exactly how that feels. For exactly the same reason.
Thereās something they can both agree on. It was totally bullshit. Unfair and cruel and - and Bill himself had nothing to do with it, heād never have ordered it done. Maybe Bill would never have said Dipper deserved to -Ā
Dipper takes another, longer, sniff. Clears his throat, blinking rapidly. No, canāt - not the time for that. Dwell on it later, not in front of a frigginā god.
Bill clears his throat, smile shifting ever so slightly. āHey hey hey! Easy, there.ā He winks, sliding his hands up to pat Dipperās shoulders. āI, for one, think a little vengeance is in order. And since it was your tongue, Iāll even let you pick the method! Howās that sound?ā
That sounds⦠violent. Gory and chaotic and - knowing Bill - filled with maniacal laughter.
Some deep part of Dipper even likes the idea, but he knows couldnāt go through with it. Even thinking about it makes him feel so, so tired. And awful. Pre-grossed out by the blood. Thereās been too much of that already. Still, he nods again, which makes Bill cheer up. The prospect of future chaos, whenever that may be.Ā
Though if Bill tries following up on that, itāll be pretty hard to pull off. The culprit was last seen dead on the steps of the altar.
āWelp!ā Bill claps his hands together. āCanāt say this was a total shitshow! I learned a lot about you today.ā He cocks his head to one side. āMore than I thought I would.ā
A dismissal. According to Bill, everythingās wrapped up.Ā
As he takes a step back, Dipper grabs him by his shirt. It stops him right in his tracks. For a single, stuttering heartbeat, Dipper thinks heās fucked up, again.Ā
āOh? Not done with me yet, are ya?ā Bill purrs, clearly delighted. He spreads his arms wide. āWhatās up, sapling? Miss me already?ā He ruffles Dipperās hair in a rough, annoying way. āI havenāt even gone anywhere!ā
No, thatās not it. Dipper frowns, and shakes his head. Though it doesnāt dislodge Billās hand, he ignores it
Thereās a lot of things Dipper doesnāt get about this place. How it works. Where, exactly, the hell he is. But ever since he was dragged from reality and brought to a weird godās realm, heās mostly wondered why.Ā
Why him. Why then, why bring him here in the first place, why stitch him up and feed and house him. Why not earlier, damn it.Ā
And Bill just beckoned him out with a clear, though indirect, offer.Ā
He doesnāt get to back out of it that easily.
āDo me a favor, will ya?ā Bill says, slow. He moves in fast enough that Dipper has to back up this time.Ā
Wow, theyāre, uh. Really close now. Dipper has a close-up view of Billās collar, before a touch on his chin lifts his head.Ā
āIf youāre gonna invade my room, sapling.ā Thereās a twinkle in Billās eye. āYou should get in the bed instead of under it.ā
What, like. Hide under the blankets? Literally, next time? Dipper guesses that makes⦠some kind of sense. In a nightmare realm, made of thoughts. Shifting spaces, lingering ideas - maybe it actually does protect you from monsters. Thatād be strange, butā¦
Damn it, this place better not run on metaphors, or thatās going to be really annoying to parse.
Also, Billās giving him a weird look. He stares forward, lips tucked in, like he didnāt say what he meant to, or a great line didnāt land.
Wait. Was that a joke? Weird god-demon humor? A reference? It could - no, heās getting distracted. Letting Bill change the subject lets him get away without answering. He gives Billās shirt another tug, insistent.
āWhatās up?ā
Oh, for - Maybe Bill should put some of that infinite knowledge towards remembering what he said three minutes ago.Ā
Dipper holds his hand out flat, scribbling an invisible pen on his palm. Thankfully Bill gets that hint; another board snaps into existence, and Dipper takes it not very gently from his hold.
It only takes a second to write it out, though Bill keeps trying to lean over the board for a peek.Ā
āWhy am I here?ā
āOh, that.ā Bill says airly, looking up and to the side. Heās avoiding Dipperās gaze. āYāknow. Reasons.ā
Dipper takes a deep breath, and lets it out. Okay. Secrets. Another of Billās domains, he gets that, but still. He underlines the question, twice.Ā
āBoy, youāre real curious arentācha?ā
Yes, he is. How much more obvious could it be? Dipper taps the end of the marker on the board - then sighs, and writes a quick addition. āPleaseā.Ā
āHow polite!ā Billās smile turns mocking, squeezing Dipperās shoulders. āWanna add a āprettyā to that?ā
That- Fine. Dipper grits his teeth. After the day heās had, he can handle one last awful thing. For answers.
The marker smudges from the pressure as Dipper painstakingly scrawls down the word.
āHm.ā Billās eye narrows as he hums in thought, He rubs his chin, head tilting to the side. Taking his damn time, too, as he looks Dipper over like heās evaluating a rather expensive purchase.
It never hurts to look presentable in front of a deity, when it comes to something important. The best he can do is stand up straight, and look attentive. Bill shouldnāt mind. He should just spit it out already.
āThe reason youāre here, mortalā¦ā Bill says, drawing the sentence out, word by word. He smiles, something slow and sharp, as his thumb strokes over Dipperās cheek - then pinches it. āIs for me to know, and you to wonder about!āĀ
What?Ā
Fucking what?
As Bill draws back, Dipperās mouth works, no sound coming out. Another yank on Billās shirt does nothing except make him laugh.Ā
Itās not funny. Itās important, itās - Heat rises into Dipperās face. His shoulders inch up towards his ears.
Bill canāt just do that. Not after today. Not after everything Dipperās been through, the demons, the tantrum, the stupid talk to get him out of the bed. The totally humiliating plea. Dangling this in front of him, the reason heās been kidnapped and confused and basically alone this whole time, then taking it back?Ā
Nothing ever goes right for Dipper when it comes to his awful god, and - and the laughter stings. Embarrassment burns and rises on the coattails of all the other bullshit Dipperās dealt with today; thereās heat in his chest and a knot in his stomach.Ā
Thatās not what he said. Itās not fair.
He canāt just do that.Ā
āYep! Youāre not getting that one outta me. Nice try, though.ā Bill taps his finger against the end of Dipperās nose, making him flinch. āYouāre never gonna gue-ā
Rational thought doesnāt have time to catch up before Dipperās fist meets Billās face.Ā
It lands, painfully, in the juncture of his head and neck. With more of a thud than a crack - but it does jerk Billās head to the side, and thatās a minor win.
Or would, be, if it had the right effect.Ā
Bill looks surprised and totally unhurt, while Dipperās knuckles definitely sting from the contact. He shakes them to get some feeling back. What the hell, how durable is that bastard -Ā
His brain, screaming from the background, kicks in again.Ā
Dipper grips his hand tight as shame rising higher in his chest, a burning tide. It feels like heāll choke on it.
Stupid, stupid stupid. How could Dipper be this dumb, heās in the realm of a god, helpless, powerless, at the mercy of his whimsĀ - and if Bill wasnāt mad before then heās definitely mad now.Ā
God, this always happens, Dipper does something stupid, he stupidly defies godās will, and thereās always consequences, no matter how he fights.
He looks up at Bill, chest heaving. Bill looks right back, rubbing his jaw - and starting to smile, wide. Showing those dangerous, predatory teeth.
No way to get out of here. Leaving the penthouse means other dangers, and leaving the realm is impossible. Even if he could, Billās got a memory a million years long, and he put a knife in the priestās chest so casually that it was like putting it back in a drawer.
But Dipper can avoid him, for a bit. Along with all other awful things he found out today, he learned that fact.
He turns on his heel, ready to make his second run of the day.
It fails almost instantly.
One step into his retreat, Bill seizes him by the waist and drags him in, too quick by far. Strong, too; kicking out doesnāt work, hitting him again doesnāt work, he struggles against the tight grip and it only makes Bill let out a terrible, cackling laugh.Ā
Arms come around him, then, drawing him in too close to even hit the bastard anymore, or struggle effectively. They squeeze so tight itās nearly hard to breathe. Dipper feels a warm grip on the back of his neck, firm and relentless.Ā
God. He never stood a chance against Bill, did he. Too strong, too quick. Too weird to understand, or placate. Nothing was going to be clear, or forthright, or helpful or safe.Ā
Escaping the cult didnāt matter, all of Billās previous patience didnāt matter, things are alway going to turn against him and ruin his day and his life. It doesnāt matter where Dipper is, itās always going to be like this.Ā
It was never going to be okay.Ā
The strangled noise that escapes his throat sounds so much worse than a normal personās. A wordless, helpless sound he canāt stop, thereās too much frustration and anger and sheer exhaustion, and Billās holding him really right, up against his chest. Dipper headbutts his shoulder in one last attempt at escape, then just. Leaves it there.Ā
Bill can retaliate whenever he wants. Dipper canāt fight right now, he just - He needs a minute.
The minute lasts. And passes.Ā
Also, Billās shirt is really soft, so it doesnāt hurt when he rubs his face against it. Fuck, and now heās getting it wet -Ā but actually, fuck Bill, heās the one who caused all of this.Ā
Absolutely everything is Bill Cipherās fault, even if indirectly. Dipper hiccups, then wipes his nose on the soft cloth.Ā
Itās all soggy and gross now, he screwed up again -Ā
But no, Bill deserves it. He hopes it sucks for Bill as much as it does for him, trying to stop his chest from heaving. Bill could have let him go and avoided this, but no, heās stuck in his arms. Let that asshole get all damp.Ā
At some point Dipper started clinging back, but thatās only because he couldnāt go anywhere else. Bill hasnāt relented even in the slightest, this entire time. Heās stroking a palm up and down Dipperās back in a slow, warm rhythm because heās super goddamn weird.Ā
Much like living under the bed, this, too, canāt last forever.Ā
Eventually Dipper sighs. The breath is shaky. Still more solid. He doesnāt have any more to let out.
Heās. Still pretty embarrassed, but he canāt see Billās face and heās not dead. Two okay points in whatās otherwise been⦠not the worst day of Dipperās life. But maybe in the top ten.
The hand playing with the hair at the back of his neck slows. Then it strokes through his hair again, and down. Bill pats him between the shoulders, letting out a low sigh.Ā
āAw, look at you. All torn up ācause the answer wasnāt handed to ya on a silver platter.ā Bill pats his back a couple more times. āMan, are you full of fluids!ā
A little squirming manages to free Dipper from Bill, at least by a few inches. Bill gives him a once-over, then pushes a handkerchief into his face.Ā
Itās too late to pretend none of that happened. Or cover up, for dignityās sake. Or back up, for that matter. With his cover totally blown, Dipper takes the damn thing so he can stop ruining Billās shirt, and wipes his face.
āTell ya what. You had yourself a big day, and your poor human brainās probably way too overwhelmed to be of use, soooooā¦ā Bill says, drawing out the word slowly. Smug, again, despite his snotty shoulder and too-close human. āI guess I can part with one hint.ā
Dipper looks up. Bill meets his gaze with a grin, totally unbothered. Oddly unbothered.
Itās⦠itās like he truly doesnāt mind that his shirt is ruined because some random humanās having a fit, or that heās been bothered by pointless crap ruining his evening. Bill looksā¦
Well, heās⦠not amused, exactly. Something less snide, and downright impossible to place.
āTruth isā¦ā Bill leans in close, and winks. āYouāre special, sapling.ā He lingers for a moment - then squeezes Dipper again, slightly more gentle. āHave fun working out what that entails.ā
Special.Ā
Sure, itās a hint. One thatās sorta true. With everything else thatās happened, denying it outright would throw all of the other hints out with the bathwater. Butā¦
Dipper, of all people. Special.Ā
Itās one hell of a word choice - and itās totally, classically Bill.Ā
With just one word, Bill implied a secret with deep importance. Saying that, deep down, Dipper has something nobody else does.Ā
Because of course he did. Itās about the allure.Ā
Everyone wants to be important. Being important to a god, triply so. Itās the carrot at the end of a long, long stick. A temptation. Doesnāt Dipper want to know why heās āspecialā? Wouldnāt it be cool if he was? The intrigue is exactly why itās so dangerous.
His first instinct was right. Bill is an asshole. And a big fat liar.Ā
Dipper blows his nose into the handkerchief, sniffing again. Looking awed at the ārevealā would be the right response, but heās too tired to play along. And by the look of it, Bill doesnāt mind that either.Ā
āGross,ā Bill says, but his smile doesnāt alter a fraction. Dipper canāt see any other emotion behind it, for once. He reaches up, thumb smoothing some hair behind his ear, before his arm slips around Dipperās waist. āNo amount of special stops you from being organic, unfortunately.ā
Yet more Bill, revealed. A liar, an asshole - and definitely the type of guy who canāt leave an insouciant comment unsaid. Itās completely unsurprising.Ā
Even though he doesnāt need to, Dipper blows his nose again, just to watch Bill make a face. He rubs at his eyes, trying to dispel some of the lingering heat.Ā
It doesnāt matter though, Dipper guesses. Billās always going to be really goddamned weird and erratic and insane. A person that no amount of learning enables you to entirely predict.
Heās just going to have to work around it. Somehow.
With a smile, Bill starts up his slow petting again. His arms are warm, and that inhuman strength isnāt so bad when itās just. Holding.Ā
Itās been a long time - or, how long has it been? Years, maybe⦠god, Dipper canāt remember the last time someone just-Ā
He takes a slow, shuddering breath. Bill goes very still for a moment, then he squeezes Dipper around the back, with both arms. Not hard, just tight enough to be kind ofā¦
Wow. Okay.
This is a hug. Bill might lie about it later, but thereās literally no other word for it.Ā
Dipper turns to rest his forehead on Billās dry shoulder, and listens to him chuckle. He can feel his chest moving under his hand, and the steady beat of an inhuman heart.Ā
Thereās a secret here. One about Dipper, and what he means. Billās partially revealed it, and he wants Dipper to work out the rest. Best thing to do would be to get on that immediately.
But heāll have time for that later.Ā
He can stay here for a bit. Until Bill gets bored with this part too.Ā
Dipper lets out a sigh, and lets himself relax. He feels the slow stroke start up on his back again, and a low contented hum. This warm body, firm under his arms.Ā
Even if itās a lie, it makes Dipper feel like heās special. Just for a moment.Ā
Imagine being this person. How would you react?
I have a lot of respect for the guy who did the study about wolves, the one that came up with "alpha wolves". Because normally when you fuck up science, it just causes some delays and occasional pop-sci nonsense.
Dude fucked up science so badly he invented an entire new genre of pornography. I can only dream of being so influential.
I love this
The Wayne kids arenāt mafia, but individually theyāre scary enough for people to assume they are. Everyone knows Brucie Wayne is the biggest himbo ever and his kids are running everything from the shadows. Itās likeā¦a given. Seriously have you seen his kids? Timās even the CEO at 18.
Dick is beloved. Everywhere he goes kids practically flock to him, but people have seen him slam one too many possible child predators into a wall with the most threatening smile for them to think heās all sunshine and rainbows.
One time, a mother asked for his help because his daughter was missing and the police wouldnāt help. Dick made one call (to Tim or Oracle), and the child was back by the end of the day and an entire trafficking ring was taken down. When asked he simply smiled and denied any involvement but said he was over joyed that one more trafficking ring was out of their city.
Jason Todd is Crime Alleyās hero. More so than anyone else, he has directed funds to help the area he called home before being taken in by Wayne. He died, but no one actually believes that. The Wayne childrenās āmafiaā had him doing something under cover. And while dick is all threat with a smile, Jason is Threaten with a frown. He can send people running with just a look.
someone noticed that Jason is always strapped. Man has no less than 5 weapons and one is always a gun. He doesnāt hide it, kids always ask him question and Jason always stops to answer them if he has the time. Even shows kids a few moves if they need to defend themselves. For whatever reason people donāt connect hood to Jason, but they definitely think Jason is funding hood.
Tim is the most relatable. Certified genius and always down to help kids with homework. Sometimes heāll camp out in a cafe for the day. Without fail his location gets leaked and by mid afternoon heās put away his WE work to tutor any students who have walked in.
Heās always tired, always has coffee, and always gives people a smile, but he knows too much. Rumor is that nothing happens in this town without Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne knowing. One time he was taking a break at the park, scrolling through his phone when a group approached him clearly intent on kidnapping him. Before they even got close Tim was reciting their social security number, their cell phones, the names of their loved ones, and their address.
When Tim looked up it was with a tired smirk that clearly came across as a warning. He then stood, slipped a business card onto the bench, and told them if they need work to call this number and their reps will help them find something regardless of their past record.
Rumor has it the downfall of the most recent corrupt socialite was completely orchestrated by Tim.
Damian is a little gremlin that has the family wrapped around his finger. At first their were rumors of infighting between the two youngest (Tim and Damian), but then how could that be possible when at the first sign of trouble Timothy materializes out of the shadows wearing his motherās smile that promised social and financial ruin if you so much as looked at his baby brother wrong.
Dick flat out punched a man in the face for calling Damian a terrorist. The āvictimā was high society and swore up and down that their would be a law suit, but Tim took care of it with a few photos and screen shots of an affair that would have ruined the man in question.
Damian has scary dog privilege on his own, but itās a whole new ballpark when Jason is out with him. Apparently someone tried to kidnap Damian on the way to meet up with Jason and the bats didnāt even need to be called. Jason took care of it before they even got the kid in the van.
Damian is a violent little thing. Everyone knows, even if it was never announced, that he got it from where ever he had been living before, so they always gave him a little leeway, especially since his violent tendencies were decreasingā¦at least physically. Damian can, will, and regularly verbally eviscerates anyone who wrongs him. Itās impressive as it is scary. ļæ¼This kid looks at you like he can read every insecurity youāve ever had and is not afraid to air it to the world while also insulting you into the grave.
Individually theyāre terrifying, but the reason that theyāre still Gothamās golden family is because together the goofiest fucking people you have ever seen in your life (also the endless amount of charity work they do together as a family). When all four siblings are together they always end up trending and itās always the funniest shit youāve ever seen.
During the first major snow when all of the streets were shut down the Wayne Boys were out in all terrain jeeps shredding it up dragging someone behind them on skiās or a snowboard
Somehow, all four boys were spotted trekking across town covered in a rainbow of colored powder. When someone enquired they admitted to getting into a rather harmless prank war with the currently reformed Ivy and Harleen Quiznel. If asked they totally won, but the fact that no part of any of the boys was uncovered said otherwise.
Dick once asked social media to help him track down Tim because he hadnāt slept in 3 days and was not supposed to leave the house. Heād been spotted at a cafe he doesnāt usually frequent and anyone around to witness the retrieval would later say it was the cleanest covert op theyād ever witnessed from the Wayne boys. Jason was the get away driver, dick was on retrieval duty, and Damian was there to make sure their route in and out was clear (hold open the door). Tim was recorded yelling every creative non curse (because no cursing in front of Damian, Alfred said so) under the sky, struggling in the arms of Dick Grayson who was smiling bright enough to rival the sun. 3 minutes in and out. The video screen shots are still used as a meme template to this day.
Brucie Wayne gets asked about his boys in interviews a lot. There are a lot of times where heās only finding out about their shenanigans due to the interview question, but he just smiles and says heās happy theyāre all getting along while mentally planning out how to deal with them later.
So fucking true but also it's keith posting it and complaining
Apparently I am incapable of joy
"I don't like old sci-fi shows, the special effects look too cheesy" you are incapable of joy. Go to the dungeon.