Inclement-epiphanies - .ericka.

How do you say you don’t want to live anymore without sounding suicidal?

The problem is, I'm always looking for you and yet you never once bothered to look for me.

Lace inserted into jeans. Totally cool if you have any with holes in them!

Gravity Falls Dipper x Mabel Fanfic

The moonlight shines over her delicate face as the crystal-clear tears continued to flow from her shut eyes. He immediately cradled her into his arms, hoping that by his tight embrace he could somehow lessen even the least bit of her pain, and probably transfer some of it to himself.

Because he would rather feel her agony, than to see her in such state. It killed him to see her like this. So, broken and vulnerable. It was as if he was seeing his world slowly crumbling down into pieces. And she is—he would admit that; she is his world. His light. His courage. His strength. His everything.

But now she’s shattered and hurt. By someone who’d sworn to protect her, to love and care for her.

He clenched his fist as cursed under his breath. He was supposed to protect her, to keep her from getting hurt. He was supposed to be her hero, and yet this time, he couldn’t do anything to save her.

She continued to weep, with her faced buried in his chest, clinging to him with the same amount of intensity as his embrace.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there in each other’s arms on the carpeted floor. He never even realized that they’d fallen asleep, not until he opens his eyes and sees her beside him, with her head resting on his numbed arm and her hand gripping his shirt as if she was afraid that he’d leave if she let go.

With his free hand, he swept the strand of hair falling on her peaceful sleeping face and kept it behind her ear. A warm smile crept on his face. He observed her, watching as her body rose and fell at a slow pace. With the side of his index finger, he lightly touched her lashes, admiring how long they were. He poked her nose and held a chuckle when it twitched.

But then his smile immediately turn into a frown as his eyes landed on the blackening mark on Mabel’s neck.

Nineteen years. For nineteen years, they’ve shared almost everything and witnessed every significant event in each other’s lives. They were together through all the ups and downs life had to offer them. Clearly he wasn’t joking when he said that she wouldn’t face the world alone.

And for nineteen years he watched as several men entered Mabel’s life, leaving scars and bruises with every departure. Breaking her once pure and innocent heart little by little. Through the years he desperately tried to protect her, so much that he forgot to care for his own romantic life. He’s never had a girlfriend, and for that reason people would make up stories about him being homosexual and such, but he didn’t care. He had his priorities set straight, and it was to make Mabel Happy.

And so, he tried to search for the perfect guy for her, one who would never wrong her like the previous ones. Someone who would love her like he does.

He scared and threatened (or at least he tried to) every boy she brings home. He never trusted any of them. He always tries to find a flaw in their seemingly perfect façade and expose them, sending them away for good. And then, one august night as He, Mabel, and his best friend Steven were watching movies in the Pines’ household living room, he noticed a certain look his best friend shared with Mabel. He shrugged it away, thinking that he was only imagining things. Steven had known Mabel since the seventh grade, and he doesn’t seem to like her in a romantic kind of way.

But alas, he wasn’t mistaken. The budding romance Mabel and Steven shared now grew into solid relationship, and Dipper was happy to finally see Mabel in the arms of a man who would never hurt her.

Or so he’d thought.

If only he’d seen through his best friend’s tactics; if only he’d suspected him more and didn’t give him his full trust just because they’re best friends; if only he’d been more careful.

Then Mabel wouldn’t suffer like this.

“Why…” He murmured as he held back the tears that were forming on the edge of his eyes. “Why is it that no matter how much I try, It’s just not enough?” A short hic escaped his mouth, causing Mabel to awoken.

Her eyes fluttered open, and his heart ached even more as he saw how red and puffy her eyes were. A concerned look was immediately strewn across her face. “D-dipper? What’s wrong?” her soft hand reached out to cup his cheek.

Dipper shut his eyes closed as he pictured the image of his best friend and every other guy who had broken Mabel’s heart, lying on the cold hard ground, all beaten up with bruises marked their bodies. He was growing mad with anger.

“I-I’m sorry…” He whispered. “I’m so sorry” he whispered again, his voice cracking as he finally burst into tears. He quickly pulled Mabel into an embrace, muttering sorry over and over again.

“Dipper…” Tears began edging her eyes as she ran her hand across his back, attempting to calm him.

“I should’ve protected you,” He muffled. “I should’ve protected you but I…I wasn’t there. I’m so, so sorry,”

“Shh,” By this time, tears flowed freely down her cheeks. But she tried to calm herself, she needs to be strong for him, for them. “It’s not your fault. It’s not…” she tries to continue, but the lump on her throat made it hard for her to speak. Instead, her cries said the words that she could no longer utter.

Yellow Paint

I’ve treaded these waters before

And I’ve learned how to swim after drowning—countless of times.

I know not to ask for more than what I am given.

To be satisfied with scraps that you are willing to share.

I need not to hear your heart

I just want to feel your skin against mine.

Take everything you want, use me to your hearts content

And afterwards, I need you to leave me.

Each time we move forwards I need you to pull back away.

I will not dedicate these poems to you,

The same way I wrote my love for him.

And I refuse to think of you when I hear the word “beloved”

But oh, so help me god, I think I’m starting to.

Saudade (A RAURA FANFIC) Part 6/6

Sometimes when he's lost in his own thoughts he would imagine what would've happened if he'd realized that he loved her sooner. What if he never hesitated, or had second thoughts? What if he told her the he loved her too? He would probably be the one giving her flowers during special occasions, or even on ordinary days just because she deserves it. He would be the one engaging in long meaningful conversations with her, getting lost into the deepness of her dark brown eyes in which her emotions reflected through, giving him a glimpse of her soul. He'd be there beside her all the time, just in time to catch her whenever she falls or just be there and enjoy her company. He would be the one embracing her, smiling as he realizes how perfect she fits in his arms and he wouldn't want to let her go. The one who'd be dancing with her, swaying in a slow motion as a love song continues to play, getting them lost in their own little world as the people around them gradually vanishes. He'd give her kisses. In the forehead, to show that he cares. In the cheeks whenever she would do something cute, which she often does. In the lips to show how much he loves her. And lastly, He would be the one standing by the altar, waiting in anticipation as she walks down the aisle looking as beautiful as ever. But instead he was on the side, watching as the ceremony proceeds trying to be as attentive as possible to the priests words, but he just couldn't pry his eyes away from her and he doesn't care if anyone would notice. This was the last time he could look at her like that, because afterwards she'd belong to someone else, completely, and there was nothing else he could do, but to finally let her go. Ross couldn't admit it before, but he could say it out loud now. "I love you, Laura" But the orchestral music drowned his voice and the crowd cheered as the priest announced the couple as husband and wife. Laura's eyes landed on him with a wide smile plastered on her face. She's truly happy. He could see that very clearly. So, Ross managed to give her a smile in return, a genuine one. Because it didn't matter if he was hurting, or if he didn't get her in the end. For as long as she smiles like that, every pain felt worth it. Fin ###### Okay so that was my first attempt in making a raura(with little bits of riaura) story. I'll go over the story one more time to edit some misspelled/misused words or grammatical errors when I have time, because I didn't have much to re-read this as I was very much excited to post it. Nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. :) 'til next time! :) Cheers! x

guess i ship it again

dipper look don’t touch

I’m tired.

I'm tired in many ways I simply cannot explain. I am tired in a way that many hours of sleep would still leave me exhausted and even if I try to close my eyes my mind would still be awake and so the exhaustion continues on. I could lie on my bed all day without moving a muscle and it would still feel as if I am consumed by this fatigue that I can't seem to get rid of. I believe I have hit the pinnacle of my capability where I have simply given everything that I have and now I am just an empty vessel trying to find alms from the people I've given a piece of my soul to. But I guess life does not work like that. You shouldn't give and expect to get something in return. The world is unfair and that is the truth. So forgive me if this time, I’m choosing myself. This time, I’m choosing to do what I’ve been trying to do for other people this whole time.   I’m done patching up the wounds of someone else while mine continues to bleed. For that, I’m sorry but this time I’m choosing to save myself.

When How to Train Your Dragon 3 comes out and Hiccup and Toothless are separated, someone is probably going to make one of those “Don’t go where I can’t follow” gifsets and I will probably yell at them and proceed to cry.

Do I have to teach you how I’m supposed to be loved?