“...But It Is Not Fair. Not Only To Myself But Also To My New Lover

Yellow Paint

I’ve treaded these waters before

And I’ve learned how to swim after drowning—countless of times.

I know not to ask for more than what I am given.

To be satisfied with scraps that you are willing to share.

I need not to hear your heart

I just want to feel your skin against mine.

Take everything you want, use me to your hearts content

And afterwards, I need you to leave me.

Each time we move forwards I need you to pull back away.

I will not dedicate these poems to you,

The same way I wrote my love for him.

And I refuse to think of you when I hear the word “beloved”

But oh, so help me god, I think I’m starting to.

Saudade (A RAURA FANFIC) Part 5/6

"You were just drunk right? You didn't mean for that to happen." Ross couldn't look her in the eye. Yes, he was drunk, but his feelings weren't. "At least tell me you were just messing with me, then we could all put this aside as something to laugh at a few years from now," Laura placed a hand on his arm, shaking him a little to get even the slightest reaction. But he just stood there, unmoving. With his head down, letting his blond locks dangle all over his face so she couldn't see his eyes, and how much pain there was in it because he couldn't hold back his feelings anymore. He can't keep on lying to himself. To her. "Please, Ross?" She whispers with that small desperate voice of hers that would've broken his heart, if only it weren't already. No. No more. He told himself. "I didn't know it before," he began, bringing his face up a little, glancing at her every now and then. "But ever since you became distant and started going out with Riker, I felt left out. And at first I was just worried that I might get replaced or you might forget me sooner or later. But then I realized it was more than that." He paused. Now staring at her deeply, his hurt filled eyes staring back down at her brown ones that also reflected his. "I want you, Laura, in many ways I can't because you're with my brother. My fucking brother." Laura flinched as she heard him cuss for the very first time. His head drops back down and her grip on his arm tightened as she felt him lightly shaking under her grasp and she could hear a faint sob which immediately sent tears to her eyes and broke her heart piece by piece. It hurt her to see her best friend in such state, and knowing that this was all her fault because he can't love him back. At least, not anymore. "If it was someone else I wouldn't have hesitated. I would've stolen you away from him in an instant." He lets out a short laugh. And he fell silent for a moment once again. "Why can't it be someone else? Someone I don't give a damn about?" His head jerks back up to look her, giving her a view of that things she'd done to him. How much she'd hurt her, without her realizing. She felt her heart shatter into pieces. "Why does it have to be Riker?" It was ironic how he dare asked her that, when he himself had set the two up in order for Laura to get over her feelings for him. And now he strongly regrets it. "I..." she trails off, unsure of her next words. "I used to like you, you know." She paused. "Yet you never did seem to like me back" she lets out a half hearted laugh through her sobs. "I do now," he states. "And if I could go back in time to tell you that I liked you too, I would." She smiles. Ross pressed their foreheads together, their nose lightly bumping and he could feel her breath as their lips were only an inch closer. After a few moments and their tears seemed to stop, Ross spoke again. "Do you still love me?" He whispers, moving slightly away to look into her reddened eyes and placed a hand on her cheeks caressing it lightly, wiping away the traces of her tears. If she hadn't kissed him back that night, he wouldn't have had the courage to ask her this. But she did, and he need to know what that meant. Laura leaned against his palm and closed her eyes for a moment, and Ross held his hopes up, a smile forming on his lips as he pressed their foreheads once more. Then Laura finally spoke. "I've been in love with you for years, and I've had a hard time moving on." She paused, releasing a breath she'd been holding back before removing his hand from her face as she took as step away from him. A frown went back to his face as she stared up at him, her smile completely gone. "But now I have riker." She continues. "I love him and he loves me, and I don't think bringing back my old feelings would be a good idea." She gives him a small smile. "I'm happy now, Ross." He would've grabbed her right there and then and just took her away. Call him crazy and all, but isn't that what love does to people? But how could he do something as to taking her away from the man she loves just for his own selfishness? So instead, he just forced a smile even though her words had completely broke him inside. "I'm glad to hear that," he mutters. He was, really. But he would've been happier if she had just said yes. "Thank you," she smiles warmly. The kind that would always send his heart racing. She wraps her skinny arms around his neck and his on her waist as he inhaled the sweet scent of her shampoo in her hair. "You'll find your happiness someday too, Ross" I already have. He thought She pulls away and bids him goodbye before walking away, out of his sight. Ross never realized that she had been holding his heart the entire time, until she finally lets go. ###### Ross watched as Laura took careful steps into the ocean, taking a step back before the waves fully engulfs her feet, giggling. He smiles as he finds her actions both amusing and completely adorable. Then, Riker came into view, creeping up from behind the brunette. She shrieks as she felt her boyfriend's strong arms pick her up from her waist and spun her around, dragging her into the cold water. Ross could say that somehow he was contented, even with just being able to see her smile. She was happy, and that's all that mattered to him. "I know it hurts you know," a voice spoke beside him. "Seeing them all the time, being mushy and all." Ross turns his head to find his sister seating beside him. "What do you mean?" He casually asks. Rydel smiles and shook her head lightly. "I know you like her, Ross." He wanted to lie and say he doesn't. It's what he's been doing all these years anyway. But at that time, he was tired of lying, he wanted to come clean. And his silence affirmed his sister's statement. "You know, I've been wondering," she began. "Why is it that you never told her?" He had asked himself that for quiet some time too. "I mean, you've never been a coward when it comes to girls. And it was obvious that Laura liked you even before she met us," Rydel noticed the look Ross sent her and her eyes widened a bit. She smirks. "Don't tell me you never noticed? Seriously dude" she chuckles. "You're thicker than I thought" Yeah. I guess I am. He accepts. They both continued to watch the couple as they continued chasing each other by the shore. Riker caught Laura and placed her on his shoulder and dragged her back into the ocean. He drops her down, getting her lower body soaked, and he laughs as she splashes water at him, trying to get back which sparked another war between them. After a few moments of just staring and total silence. Ross decides to break the ice. "Actually, I did." He blurts out and Rydel could only stare at him with wide eyes and mouth agape. "But she was already with Riker at that time." He adds with a shrug. "Woah, you don't plan on stealing her away from now, do you?" Ross chuckles and shook his head. "I couldn't have done it even if I wanted to. Especially since I can clearly see that she's loves him. She's happy with him." he lifted his head just in time to see the brunette laughing as Riker placed sand on her dampened hair. That's right, she's already happy with him. He thought. Rydel's heart broke upon hearing Ross' piteous confession. She felt torn between wanting to encourage her little brother to go after the girl who he has set his heart on. But that would mean hurting her older brother/best friend and possibly ruining an already perfect and stable relationship. Either way, one has to get hurt for the other to be happy. And in this case, Ross is the one hurting. "What are you going to do now?" She asks, that look of concern never left her pretty face. Ross shrugs. A tight smile formed on his lips. "The same thing I've been doing for years." He looks back at the brunette. "Pretend that I don't like her, act casual when I see them together. You know, what I have to do?" He laughed bitterly. Rydel leans in and wraps her arm around him in a consoling manner. She nods. "Yeah, that would probably be best"

Perhaps, I’m just not made for love.

The problem is, I'm always looking for you and yet you never once bothered to look for me.

July 7

7:38pm

It was unplanned, like most of the occurrences that had happened to us. You asked if I wanted to take the bus ride home with you and with the most unkept appearance and an unbathed stench of my day, I hesitantly said yes.

Grey. I wonder how many times I’ll relate the word to you. For I’ve made you the personification of the color, this you knew and you wore it that night. I had to steel myself from smiling too hard, running towards you and encircling you in a tight embrace for I haven’t seen you in a long while.

After bidding goodbye to my relatives we went straight outside to get a ride at that p2p bus that you’ve told me about. I desperately tried to hide my exhilaration so as to not make things any more awkward than it is. After a few more passengers boarded in, the bus began to move and lights went off with the remaining light coming from the tv.

I watched as the rain pit patted on the window, no words were exchanged between the two of us and we were enveloped with silence and yet everything felt right. After a while I told you I was worried cause I knew that as soon as I get home, I’d get an earful of rants from my mom for going home late, and then you let your fingers intertwine with mine .

I stared at our hands, wondering whether I was still drunk or half asleep and that if all of this was just a dream—a dream that I wish I’d never wake up from. And it was as if that wasn’t proof enough of that moment; you kissed me and all my worries were washed away as all I could think of was: this was real. I am here. You are beside me and honestly, that was all that mattered.

don’t call someone gross for shipping a certain ship. call someone gross for putting ketchup on mac n cheese.

Piedmont will have absolutely no clue how to handle Post-Weirdmaggedon Dipper and Mabel.

The neighborhood kids play hide and seek and they’re hanging out on some random roof. You can’t beat them if you can’t reach them, suckas.

They’re outside every hour of the day. Literally. If you happen to be outside at two in the morning you might find them mid-magic hunt. Why not? Ford always said to take advantage of your insomnia for science.

Once some teenagers performing some weird Halloween hazing the Pines kids absolutely wrecked them. They literally have no chill.

For that matter, if you look Mabel in the eye, rumors say, you immediately have to play a game of cards with her. Never take pocket change anywhere near their street.

The pig goes with them. That’s final.

They say Dipper Pines has a six pack. They say he’s shredded. They saw he’s got a scar across the belly from fighting off a pack of wolves with his fists.

All the doors in the world are open if you know how to pick locks… Not that they’re saying they can. That’s implementing themselves in multiple unsolved crimes, and that would be stupid.

Feel free to add your own!

I stg if my mom dies i might just lose my remaining will to live

As long as the person you like thinks you're beautiful, it wouldn't matter if the world thinks you're not