How To Vent About The Same Problem Multiple Times Without People Wanting To Beat You To Death With Hammers

living weapon whumpee who was trained to not show signs of being in pain but punishments won't stop unless whumper(s) believe they've been properly punished. which goes until whumpee cracks, at which point they are additionally punished for showing pain.

A vampire basically having to be an amazing Caretaker to their blood source because human blood tastes so much better (and maybe more nutritious just for fun) if the human is well fed, happy, calm, ect. Maybe the human wants to stay with the vampire, because honestly this is so much better than their life used to be. They don't have to stress about anything, the food's the best they've ever eaten and they barely ever have to feel scared or sad anymore.

Bonus: The human had a condition that made it much more difficult for them to live life before, whether mental or physical.

“So this is what you do? You find little broken dolls, fix them up only to break them again?”

More actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel without context, as people kept pointing out things I'd missed:

The entire plot happens because Dracula is a teaboo

A character proposes marriage with a scalpel in hand and keeps playing with it throughout the conversation

Dracula roasts a chicken

A vampire bat (not a vampire) somehow drinks enough of a horse's blood to cause the horse to collapse

Dracula gets smacked in the face with a shovel

After attributing nightmares to paprika consumption, a character eats more paprika for breakfast

The heroes hire a locksmith to make their home invasion look more respectable

To prepare for raiding a vampire's lair, one character brings three small dogs

A character laments being unable to wed multiple people at once

A therapist starts speculating about elephants' souls mid-session

An official cause of death is written as "misadventure in falling from bed"

Dracula has a Krampus-esque sack that he shoves children into

A character realizes that his host has no reflection but is more concerned with shaving than investigating that

A reporter brags about his running speed mid-article

Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, goes by the incredibly subtle alias "de Ville"

A character is misled by phonetic spelling

A character receives three marriage proposals in one day

The SPCA tries to adopt Dracula

A doctor refers to a patient as his "pet lunatic"

We are told vampires can be defeated by putting branches on their coffins

A character gets slashed at with a knife and loot splatters on the floor, like a video game NPC

Dracula is a horsegirl

A character brings anti-vampire flowers but doesn't tell anyone the purpose of said anti-vampire flowers, which leads to another character moving them and enabling a vampire attack

A character's hair turns from dark to white literally overnight

Twice in the novel, Dracula says "Bah!" The second time is his final line of dialogue

There's a deleted scene of Dracula lying on top of the protagonist and licking him for hours

Your whump word(s) of the day

"You're in the hospital. Remember?"

Not gonna draw attention to the post because I suspect the person might blow a gasket, but it's always so funny to me when you see someone picking apart fanart, in this case, a popular fan Ot3 pairing, and they're like, "y'all have brainrot, this'll never be canon, you realize that?"

And maybe I'm just ancient, but since when has fandom ever been about validating canon? Canon is incidental to fandom output. It is, at best, a guideline. You can stick to it, or you can go so far off the beaten path that you fall off the edge of the world and wind up in a new one where the map has words like "here be dragons" stamped in the upper corner.

Fandom is about exploration beyond the canon. It can look like canon, talk like canon, and sometimes even emulate it so perfectly you'd swear you've found the author's secret account, but it doesn't have to.

Ultimately, however, it's about having fun. And if you can't understand that, I have no idea what you're doing here.

Whumpee breaking things in whumper's house as an act of defiance.

Whumper watching and waiting patiently for it to end, drink in their hand, smiling as they think of how much fun will punishment be.

ok but couples who get whumped together! One is kidnapped, bound and gagged, and used as lure and bait to trap the other one. Whumper laids out whumpee to take out caretaker, and once caretaker sees their beloved in distress, once they remove the gag they hear "IT'S A TRAP" and it's all over for them. <3

do u ever just point at two characters and go “i want that one to get hurt and i want the other one to get really angsty about it”

When whumpee is already kneeling and whumper hits them, hard, causing them to fall to the ground

Bonus points if they're manhandled back to their knees