So At The Beginning Of This Month I Had Set A One Word Intention For The Month Which Was Growth.📈🌷
So at the beginning of this month I had set a one word intention for the month which was growth.📈🌷
And so during the first week of this month, I took easy but at the same time I was consistent with my morning exercises and watching the required lecture videos (for each day) for the course I'm currently taking and also reading the books for this month - which I mentioned in my previous post.📚📖
Then come the second week, my dad sent me an email on this opportunity to help recent graduates learn about entrepreneurship and how later on you can present your idea and they could help you with funding if it's feasible, realistic etc.
And my first thought was "Nah, this is not for me. I'm so done with anything that has to do with university ( since that had to do with my burnout and all)."
"And also I've never really been good at stuff like this, so why even bother try." So I ignored it.
That week I also managed to finish the level 1 part of the course which is just content.📖 And for some reason I couldn't move on to level 2 - which requires interviewing people and having a practice session with them.👥
And so for the rest of that week I relaxed a bit telling myself I've done enough and this looked like bingeing on kdramas and just binge-reading a series of books (fiction) to pass time. Anything to avoid the work I was actually supposed to be doing.
And so come the third week, stuff just started happening. Like yes I had been focusing my attention and energy on stuff that had absolutely nothing to do with my intention or my goals but the amount of anxiety and overthinking that I started experiencing was insane. Like all these negative, fearful thoughts and self doubt was showing up. Like I haven't experienced that level of anxiety in a very long time. So let's just say that experience was awful. 😫😖😣
And so my plan was to get rid of it as soon as possible. So I did a bit of exercise just to ground myself and it wasn't very helpful. 🧘🏽♀️🏃🏽♀
So I pulled my big girl pants on and sat with myself and those "ugly" feelings that were showing up and in that moment I was just asking for clarity. And so I slept hoping I could sleep it off.
Come next morning, those weren't that intense but they were still there. And sometime during the day I came across a post about limiting beliefs. And so I decided to do some journaling on the underlying and hidden beliefs underneath the behaviours I was portraying. And it's safe to say all that anxiety was my body's way of protecting me from pain. What pain you might ask? The discomfort of having to take actions that I normally just don't take - that could enable my growth. So these actions included starting level 2 of my course i.e. starting these practice sessions as I've never really been confident in my presentation skills. And also taking a chance on that entrepreneurial opportunity to enable my growth.
And so I came to find out the limiting beliefs around that were I did not believe that I was good enough to be wellness coach. I did not believe that I was capable of actually making a difference in the world. I was also very scared of failing.🙈😣
So that was the pain I was avoiding. The pain of having to face my fear of failure, fear of being judged or criticized.😬
So that's what I'm currently working on. And in order for me to prove that belief wrong I am going to have to take action as evidence that maybe I am good enough. That I can actually make a difference in the world. That I am capable of doing "hard" things.
And in order to do that I'm gonna need people I can practice sessions on. So if you've read till this point and you're wanting to make some changes in your life and you're willing and able to spare me an hour of your time per week. Please dm me to let me know.😊
More Posts from Indigo-blueses and Others
_Do you ever wonder?_
Do you ever wonder what your tomorrow will look like?
Will you still hear the birds squeak in the early mornings?
Will you still hear the sound of the wind in you ears?
Will you still enjoy the warmth of the sun's rays?
Will you still feel the air reaching deep into your lungs?
Will you still enjoy that one song that speaks to your soul.
Or would you have moved onto something new to enjoy?
Ruts. Also known as one of those phases in life where you are just existing and not really living. Where you are just going through the exact same cycle day by day just to keep yourself alive. 😕
Where you have no idea what's next or don't know what you are working towards. The phase where it gets to the point where it feels like you're just being dragged by life.🫥😵😵💫
That's when you know you need some clarity. 💯
And sometimes clarity requires stillness. So slow down if you will.
Other times clarity requires silence and solitude. Take time away from external stimuli because you can't hear yourself if you always surrounded by outside noise. 📢📢
And as you start to slow down and be still eventually the answers will come.
Maybe in the form of a burst of inspiration. Or coming across that one thing you used to enjoy but left halfway cause you never had the time for it. Or maybe through meeting rekindling an old friendship. 🫂🫶🏼
Anyway.... you never really know what that one choice can bring you as long as it's bringing you closer to your true self.🌸💫
Self love letter
Dear Self
I often wondered what self love looked like or felt like and I think I am beginning to understand it.
To me, self love means having your own back, not just when everyone else has turned on you but at all times. It looks like trying one more time when it feels like you might even fail. Self love looks like showing up for that morning or evening exercise because you are grateful for what this beautiful body has done for you so you want to keep it healthy.
Self love looks like holding space for yourself when your emotions are all over the place. Allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel without judgement.
Self love means listening to when your body needs to slow down before you burn out. Taking the needed rest for it to come back stronger.
Self love looks like rewarding yourself for all the hardwork you've put in & for the days you chose to remain consistent even when it was so hard.
Self love looks like listening to music the whole day because that's what your soul needs at that moment.
Self love means saying no to things that don't bring you peace.
Self love means making sure that your cup is full - that way you have enough to be of help to others.
Self love means carving out time for being creative because your soul needs an outlet.
Self love means being aware of the things that make you tick and why it is so. It means giving yourself a pat on the back when you survived a situation you thought you wouldn't have.
Self love means pouring in yourself because you are the only person who's gonna live with you for the rest of your life. It means knowing yourself in a way that only you can.
Self love means loving on you because no one can ever love you the way you can. ❣️❣️
You can't out-think fear you can only out-act it. One step at a time, one fear at a time and eventually, that situation will no longer scare you. And through that action you build the confidence of being able to face whatever fear that might show up.
Advice I got this week:
_Stop complaining about results you didn't get, for work you didn't put in._ 📝
Last night I came across a video on Instagram of this women who had decided to quit her job as a lawyer to be a barista. Which was a choice she was actually happy about. And so one day on the job one of her customers happened to be her ex - colleague who went on to ask : "do you work here now?" 👀
And she explained how in that moment she felt so ashamed and started thinking of ways to explain her situation in a way her ex-colleague could understand. Why she decided to work there and how happy that choice made her etc etc. 👣🗣️🙅♀️
*So this had me thinking about the courage it takes to go against the grain. The courage it takes to choose and take the path that feels true to you. The courage to be open to the criticism you will receive from people who might not understand you. The courage to choose authenticity every single time. It's not for the weak and if you're on this path, you have my respect. You owe it to yourself to see where this road will lead you.* ☘️🛣️
And with that, the year 2024 has begun. Happy New Year to you all. 🎊🎊
With the new year comes the buzz about new year resolutions. What goals, intentions or habits are you setting for yourself this year?
My main intentions for this year are:
Following my joy🪇
Being rooted in the present moment 🌴
And showing up more authentically 🐦
And as someone who focuses more on the process rather the the goal, the habits/systems I'm implementing include:
Creating bi weekly content📝📋
Taking daily evening walks 👣🚶♀
Listening to self development podcasts 🔊
Remember, when it comes to goal/intention setting, it's more than just what you want to achieve but who you want to be and who you want to show up as. And that is reflected by your daily habits/actions.
_You can do this!! So what's one simple habit are you choosing to focus on?🦋
Resilience
Resilience looks like trying again and again regardless of the outcome you're currently getting.
Resilience is choosing to ignore the naysayers and staying focused on your vision until it comes to life.
Resilience is getting up early and showing up for your dream even if you don't feel like it.
Resilience is doing that uncomfortable thing over and over until it becomes second nature.
Resilience is facing fear over and over until you become the best of friends.
Resilience is making the choice to consistently transforming your mind from a negative mindset to a better state of mind.
Resilience is giving your utmost best even though you are at your lowest point.
Resilience is constantly reminding yourself of why you started to begin with.
Resilience is choosing to show up for your future self.
It is choosing to see the starts in the darkest of nights.
Resilience is knowing the importance of the goal but focusing on the process instead.
Lately I've been wondering about what to work towards for 2025 and I came to the realisation that we are always doing this - working towards a future goal to attain something, to have more or to be a better version of ourselves.
And i started asking myself - "does it ever end?"
When does all this striving eventually stop. When do we finally come to a point where we decide that enough is enough. Does it not get tiring, always living for a future outcome. Are we ever going to be content with what we have?
Yes, the world is changing and yes we have to prepare ourselves but to what point?
Because if we are going to be honest with ourselves, it's no longer about happiness. We've just gotten to a point where it's about feeding our emptiness because all that striving is surely not going to make us happy because we would've already been happy by now.
But also this concept we call happiness doesn't seem to last forever, so how about we choose to be content. And im sure happiness will come find us every once in a while.
Finding the wisdom in each experience,☘️ learning from the past, 🪹sharing my wisdom,📝 seeing things from a higher perspective.🌸🌸🌸
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