_Something I Learnt The Past Week:_ 🌱

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Are you constantly overthinking?

Based on my experience, we find ourselves overthinking mainly because we are avoiding something that we are supposed to be doing. This could be doing a certain task(that we think we might fail at or we've never done before) or having that uncomfortable conversation that may lead to us disappointing someone. 🙅‍♀️🤡

So it's easier to just come up with other way you can deal with the situation in your head rather than just taking the right action and facing whatever situation you're supposed to. 📝

Because once you've done that all the overthinking and procrastination eventually stops and life goes on.

Ruts. Also known as one of those phases in life where you are just existing and not really living. Where you are just going through the exact same cycle day by day just to keep yourself alive. 😕

Where you have no idea what's next or don't know what you are working towards. The phase where it gets to the point where it feels like you're just being dragged by life.🫥😵😵‍💫

That's when you know you need some clarity. 💯

And sometimes clarity requires stillness. So slow down if you will.

Other times clarity requires silence and solitude. Take time away from external stimuli because you can't hear yourself if you always surrounded by outside noise. 📢📢

And as you start to slow down and be still eventually the answers will come.

Maybe in the form of a burst of inspiration. Or coming across that one thing you used to enjoy but left halfway cause you never had the time for it. Or maybe through meeting rekindling an old friendship. 🫂🫶🏼

Anyway.... you never really know what that one choice can bring you as long as it's bringing you closer to your true self.🌸💫

I was watching this video of this beautiful woman who was explaining how our desires aren't what we actually want but it's the feelings of having that desire that we want.

And I brought this to my current situation. I have been obsessing over getting a high paying job lately, like I can't afford to wait. I want that job right now.

And after listening to this video, I started asking myself why I want this job so badly. The first answer being to have a sense of security and stability. But it is not only that.

I want that job quickly so that I can get some validation from my family members - so that I can get approved of, in a way. So that I can be that cousin that helps others out. So that I don't have to constantly ask my parents or siblings for money. So that my brother does not constantly tell me how I wasted my years to a degree and have nothing to show for it.

So I realised that deep down, I want validation, acceptance and approval. And now the question is how can I give that to myself rather than wait for others to give it to me.

Today I was saying out my desire to the ether and I realised how uncomfortable I am in vocalising my desires out loud. It felt so uncomfortable in my body - in my chest and throat I could just feel this restriction of not being able to my desires out loud.

It just made me feel sad for my younger self for never feeling free and safe enough to voice out my desires and opinions. But now that I am aware of this I can now choose to be the version of my self that creates that safety and freedom for me. It's safe for me to vocalise my desires with ease.

Jeff Foster says : "In reality, your world is set up so that nothing happens to you, but everything happens for you - for your awakening, for your growth, for your inspiration, for your exploration - even if you forget that, or sometimes cannot see it, or sometimes fall into distraction and despair.

When there is no fixed destination, you cannot ever lose your destination, so you cannot ever lose your path, so nothing that happens in your life can take you off your path. Your path IS what happens, and what happens IS your path. There is no other.

Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path that you call your life - the laughter, the tears, the times of great sorrow, the experiences of profound loss, the pain, the confusion, the times you believe you'll never make it, even the overwhelming heartbreak of love - even if you forget that sometimes, or cannot see that sometimes, or lose faith absolutely in the entire show sometimes.

But even the loss of faith in the show is part of the show, and even the scene where 'something goes wrong' is not indicative of the show going wrong, and so you are always exactly where you need to be, believe it or not, even if you are not.

Life can be trusted absolutely, even when trust seems a million light-years away, and life cannot go wrong, for all is life, and life is all. Understand this, know it in your heart, and spirituality is profoundly simple, as simple as breathing, as natural as gazing up at the stars at night and falling into silent wonder. The universe is more beautiful than you could ever imagine."

It's frustrating isn't it?

To have worked so hard and to only produce nothing.

To have to work so hard each day and only realise that what you've been working on hasn't been producing fruit

To see others achieving so much and you have nothing to show for it.

But you have to realise it was never about you and them.

It's always been you and you.

Maybe this phase is not about producing a certain outcome, maybe it's about just experimenting in order to get feedback.

Maybe this phase is only meant to last a year or two. So that you can see if what you've been pursuing was what you wanted or not.

Sometimes it's not about the outcome. It's about proving to yourself that you can do hard things. That you can be persistent and that you can be disciplined.

So how about just focusing on the joy of it. The parts of it you enjoy so much.

Like when you're eating your favourite meal. You don't only eat to satiate yourself but you also eat to enjoy it. To get that peak experience of savouring all the flavours and textures.

Ever wore an item of clothing that was just too small for you? Like a small jacket or jeans that were just too tight? With every move you make, you can sense that tightness, that feeling of discomfort. And no one likes being uncomfortable. And in order to be comfortable again, we need to remove that small jacket and put on a more comfy one.🧥👖

Physical discomfort is one thing but emotional discomfort is some totally different. It's not like we can just remove that uncomfortable emotion and replace it with a more comfy emotion. Since we can't do that, most of us end numbing that emotion in order to get comfortable again. Sadly that doesn't remove the discomfort but rather just covers it up until it shows up again. And when it does come up again, we numb it with emotional eating, drinking, shopping and doomscrolling on the socials. 😮‍💨🍺

But the thing with emotions is that they need to be felt. At first it may be hard because feeling that emotion pain is just too uncomfortable. But the deeper you feel into it, the less uncomfortable it becomes. You might have to do it multiple times but eventually it subsides and sometimes even disappear.

So think of a child coming to you crying and telling you that they feel sad or upset about something. We don't tell the child to go shopping, to scroll on social media, to drink or smoke so that the pain goes away. We allow the child to cry, we give them a hug and we tell them it's gonna get better and they are going to be okay. 🌸🌸

So what normally helps me during those times of emotional discomfort is sitting with myself and acknowledging what I feel. Then I communicate with myself - telling myself that I feel sad, angry or in pain but I know it's temporary. I ask my body what's trying to tell me. Other times I go on a walk and just talk to the part of me that is in pain.

And the more I do that - the less uncomfortable that emotion becomes. 💨

It's about having that uncomfortable conversation with yourself. Sometimes we don't know why we feel the way we feel but we just have to feel the emotion. We owe it to our inner child to sit through that emotional discomfort with them and free ourselves. How do you normally deal with your emotional discomfort?