Inmyselfdelusion - Edge Of Reason

I know, I know. I’ve done… I’ve done terrible things. And I enjoyed every second, soldier boy!

Relationships are exhausting. The effort, the expectations, the unspoken rules I never fully understand or care to follow. It’s either too much or never enough. People say they want honesty, but they flinch when I give it to them. They say they value independence, but resent it when I don’t need them.

i love their dynamic sm

I hate this constant feeling of emptiness and boredom, so I mess with people’s emotions just to get some kind of reaction. Starting arguments or pushing buttons doesn’t bother me because at least it gives me something to feel. If people end up blocking me, I get it, but honestly, they’re just too sensitive. I’m not trying to hurt anyone, but I’m not going to apologize for stirring things up either. Sometimes I probably take things too far, but they’re the ones overreacting. It’s entertaining to me, and if they can’t handle it, that’s on them. Sure, there are healthier ways to deal with this boredom, but this one’s just the easiest and most entertaining way, in my opinion.

引血成河，积血成海

A   draw   .  .  ?   I guess you both   loooooose   !

G̯̯̩̙͆ͣ͟o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞d̶̵̯̯̼̘ͨ̓ k̼̼̞̦̞̼̔n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥo͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞w̡̻̻̣͚̒̀ͅs̨̞̞̰͎͎̪̩͕̈́̀ͯ̍ͧͅ I̡̨͙͙̪̹̾͟ d̶̵̯̯̼̘ͨ̓o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥ't͖͖̠̬͛ w̡̻̻̣͚̒̀ͅa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥt͖͖̠̬͛ t͖͖̠̬͛o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞ b͔͔̳͈̊̆ͥ͂͜͝ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧ a͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥ a͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥg̬̬̱ͩ͋͟͟ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧl͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘.

I don’t get why I should care about someone's feelings when mine are rarely considered.

Imagine the time I was six. I spent half an hour constructing my perfect fortress out of wooden blocks, carefully placing each piece. Every detail mattered, this wasn’t just playing, this was creating something. I looked at it, proud, knowing it was my work, my effort.

Then, some little shit walks by. I watch as his eyes narrow, and for a moment, he considers the easiest way to destroy what I’d just built. With one careless motion, he topples everything, scattering the blocks like they were nothing.

I don’t cry. I don’t scream for help. Instead, I get up, walk over, and grab him by the shoulder. A hard shove, and then I make sure he knows exactly what he’s done. He’s on the ground before he can even process it, his face swelling where I hit it. I don’t care about the blood or the broken tooth. All I care about is the fact that he destroyed something I created for no reason other than his amusement.

The teacher drags me away, gasping: "Look what you did! It’s just blocks, he’s a person!".

But it wasn’t just blocks. It was my time, my effort, and he threw it all away like it meant nothing. And he’s a person? Fine. So am I. And in that moment, his face wasn’t worth respecting.

Looking back at it as an adult, sure, maybe it was an overreaction. Maybe I was too harsh. But that moment wasn’t about rationality. It was about the principle of it. Yeah, I could’ve handled it differently. But I was a kid. That’s what kids do.. act on impulse.

No one cared about the fact that someone else’s selfish act destroyed what I valued. My retaliation was branded as aggression, while his provocation was dismissed as childish mischief. No one asked why I struck back. No one acknowledged that he’d destroyed something I built simply because he wanted to. I was the one who got punished.

At that time, the teacher’s failure was a clear lesson in injustice, that authority will side with the visible victim over the invisible violation, and proof that fairness is conditional, since his pain was 'real', while mine was 'just toys'.