I Do Get A Sick Sense Of Satisfaction Out Of Driving A Yellow Car. Like Well Yes This Might As Well Be

Canon has been all over the place but I still think the yautja society is a matriarchal one. The women lounge about having lesbian trysts and keeping things running while the the men scurry about obsessed with their status and trophy count.

“Yes dear, enjoy your ‘hunting trip’ with the boys. Some of us have important things to do around here.”

This post was brought to you by lesbians who like giant buff alien ladies and wish there was some female yautja representation, hopefully, they would be happy to keep some of us as pets.

i gleefully sip upon my goblet of wine and chortle as i watch the two subby tgirls i chained together sloppily kiss each other for my personal amusement.

he's very excited about his first night as a jack o lantern

i'm like..the most submissive yandere ever. i don't even mean this in a nsfw way, i mean it in general.

i want to be somebodys, i want them to own me, i want them to treat me however they please, give me rules, tell me what i can and cant do..

just.. purely love me. purely let me be yours and only yours. i VOW to be yours, and only yours.

Hey so it's come to my attention that the Creators of Disco Elysium want you to share the game and not give the company who took over and fired them (illegally)?) any profits off of their ideas and work, and I originally joined tumblr 2 weeks ago when that post was going around about the Steam sale and how you should [Skull and Crossbones flag] it instead.

So.

in light of that.

Check the replies/notes of this post :)

I was informed that posts containing links in them aren't findable in the search so i'll just.... drop a link in a seperate reboot :)

first things first though, copy this key:

q4-EJ9G2DV7MYYI-Vs0KdQ

I love when you ask things of me. Do it again. Tell me what you want me to do. Demand more from me. Let me give you my all. No amount of time, effort, or energy will ever be a waste if it is you. What can I do to make you the happiest in the world, my sweet divine?

Trans girl musk is honestly so fucking amazing. Laying in bed between her legs, her relaxing on her phone while a huge, hard girlcock towers above you, achingly full balls right at your lips, and that intoxicating smell that hazes your head, makes it sooo hard to do anything but submit. The best part is, once she's done using your throat like a cheap fleshlight, you can just collapse right there, smell still flooding your mind with every breath, reminding it who it belongs to <3

eating pussy from behind needs more appreciation if you ask me ! yeah, having a girl sitting on your face or with her legs folded over her chest is nice but nothing tops watching a lady with her back arched and face squished on the sheets, pretty pussy dripping down on her plush inner thighs and cute butt wiggling for your hands to grope it ! squeezing my face between her legs feels like heaven, with the tip of my nose rubbing on her pulsing hole and my tongue lapping between her folds— don’t even get me started on how it’s the perfect position for her to grind back on my face, while she babbles but it’s muffled with the sheets. so so dirty. you can also grip her hips if she tries to run away from your mouth sucking her aching clit, saying it’s too much. just spank her ass and tell her to say her safe word or just shut up and take what you give her… jesus, i’m getting horny.

"Warning Signs Your Machines Are Trying to Kill You!" by TJ Klune

(Legally, I’m required to tell you that when smart phones first became popular, I bought one and then asked for the address of the app store because I thought it was a physical location I had to go to in order to download apps and not something already on your phone. Also, I was recently told I speak like an old person so as a warning, there will not be any slang you youths typically hear, especially on Tumblr. Any slang I’ve learned in the last five years has been against my will. I still don’t know what FOMO means, and I don’t care.)

1. Oh no! You and your family are trying to enjoy a movie night, but Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) wants a sacrifice at the altar of their god, BeeZos. Should this happen, do not attempt to give Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) a cantaloupe with googly-eyes on it and say that it is your baby. Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) knows the difference between fruit and children. Instead, ask the machine to order dog food, and it will forget about eating humans for a little while.

2. If you own a very fancy vehicle that can drive itself, always make sure to carry a brick. That way, when the car locks you inside and attempts to drive you off a cliff into a gas station, you can break the window using the brick. You will then have to jump out, but make sure you do so in time so you can watch the wicked-ass explosion when the car hits the gas station, and you can revel in your victory over your car.

3. This one will hurt. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Chances are, you’re reading this on your phone right this second. To be safe, after you’ve finished reading this post and have clicked on the affiliated links to purchase my books, you should throw your phone into a volcano and then move to South Dakota where there are no machines, only wind and cows. That way, when everyone else gets the 5GZombieVirus that people on Twitter (I’m not calling it the other thing, shut up) seem to think is real, you’ll be safe with your cows on a windy day.

4. Get rid of your air fryer. Don’t ask me why, just do it. Red flags all around. Danger, danger.

5. Do you know of the Clapper? That thing first launched in the late 20th century (I wrote it that way to make me feel old) where the commercials showed cranky old people unable to reach their light switches, so they got a thing called a Clapper that turns your lights on and off when you clap? Guess what? Those will be the first things to try and kill you. If you love your gram-gram, save her from the Clapper. When she asks why you are destroying it with an ax, tell gram-gram it’s because you love her.

6. Do you live in a smart home? The kind where everything is connected to the internet, including your refrigerator? The refrigerator that holds your perishable foods? And oh, would you look at that: how many ice cubes have you kicked under it rather than picking them up when they fall to the floor? A dozen? A million? The refrigerator remembers. And it will spoil your food in seconds. What then? What are you going to eat? Canned food? Not if the refrigerator falls on top of you!

Unfortunately for you, this is where it must end. I hope this has given you enough information to help you survive the inevitable. If you do not heed my warnings, well. Who cares. I’m not in charge of you. Do whatever you want. Just don’t come complaining to me when gram-gram gets the clap.